Still Wounded

I finally was able to leave the place of torture recently but I am still very affected by what they did to me. A massive change above me resulted in new bosses trying to get rid of us experienced workers. Everyone in my prior job area has now left (most of us with 10+ years of experience) But here's the thing: I was subject to malicious outright lies, ethical questions lobbied, public demeanings, and quite frankly abusive behavior to the extent every written, spoken word or look was a case for negative feedback. I was determined not to let it strip me of a job I loved - till they tried making me 100% on call, and discrediting all the research and work I did. I had proof of everything so they didn't dare fire me. I've found a great job elsewhere but am still scarred by what they did. I find myself questionning motives of others and being cautious with every word. Any suggestions to help put this crap to bed? I would truly love to go public but I can't bring myself to do that.

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Jujubees (06/01/2007) It's difficult to do, but I believe in Karma! What goes around comes around. I have had a similar experience and it's taken me 8 months to finally stop thinking about it and the realization that in the big picture of life that your job really doesn't mean much compared to your family and friends. I am glad for you that you found a new job that you like. Probably you learned alot from the experience that you will keep in mind on this new job with these new people. You will be much more aware now of when someone is trying to undermine or manipulate you. Use this to your advantage. twiz (06/01/2007) It is tough to trust the motives behind any company these days. They don't have any incentive to share the entire truth of the situation with you in most cases. Particularly if something bad is coming down the pipes, they don't want to disrupt the workforce until they absolutely have to. My last job did just that. They gave us warm and fuzzy speeches about how our jobs were safe, and the new outsourcing company they just partnered with was going to help "free up" our time for bigger and better projects. All lies. We were all moved over the outsourcing company... and then the layoffs began. I quit the day before my replacement was suppose to start (and I was suppose to train him!). Felt great... but the lesson I learned... you have to learn to look out for yourself in this world... Companies don't owe you anything... and keep that in mind when they are asking you to bend over backwards for them. sheila (06/02/2007) Personally, I have ignored things like this in the past. By ignored, I mean not pursuing the disciplinary and legal action I should have. At the time my personal situation was bad and the whole legal work mess could have broken me altogether...but I say if you are a strong person and your personal life can take the hit (because it will be a hit) I think you should talk to a lawyer. sheila (06/02/2007) I guess I should have also asked if you have any evidence or documentation to support the wrong things that happened or that you observed? That is key otherwise it will be your word against theirs. the confessor (06/03/2007) I've said this before, but this behavior is so injurious that is defies belief. It should be made illegal, with appropriate criminal and civil penalties. If I made negative public statements about someone that could be shown to be injurious to their personal or financial situation, I could be sued for libel and slander. Yet the same is virtually impossible to stop in a workplace! Please go to bullyonline.org for more on the healing process and resources to help. Be strong! These people are no better than muggers and rapists, and those whom they target suffer the same after effects. HaveADamnNiceDay (06/07/2007) I can relate to your problem!!! I had a job I loved in a cardiology office, and I was an ekg tech. Probably the worst job I had, but I loved it the most, because I loved taking care of the patients and helping them. The office manager, the staff, and even alot of the doctors treated me like scum even though all I wanted to do was be helpful and useful to them, and I even tried making friends with them. A wasted effort. After two years of that, I just couldn't take the abuse anymore. Unfortunately, because I was desperate to get out, I took the first job I was offered, and was fired from that because my boss was a lazy chump and dumped his responsibilities on me, and I couldn't handle everything he was throwing into the juggle. Once again, I took the first job I was offered after that, and got fired again, but only because there was a huge corruption problem going on in our branch of the business, and I had requested a transfer. After ALL of this, I really questioned my abilities, especially my thinking skills and my performance. I was at the lowest of low. I didn't want to look for another job. I had to see a therapist to realize that I wasn't stupid or helpless. I can tell you I sure felt like it, though. I would recommend seeing a therapist if you can. People see docs for their physical health. Don't be afraid to take care of your mental and emotional health too. gentleheart (06/13/2007) I understand exactly what you are saying. This happened to me a few years ago and after having been told by the officers of this large company that they liked what I was doing and were concerned about what was going on( and what I loved and was great at!) it was still allowed to occur--what HR did was to support me in what they said was the only way they could --keep me whole and not allow me to be shoved out--although they did not stop the demotion. So much for even being a "protected class !" What they did stop was my boss moving someone else in who had wanted my job originally!! So I sat in the corporate office daily doing what I could to continue my work until I found another job in another dept for a couple of years until I left. I too have experienced that terrible sense of loss of confidence, wondering about having the ability to do the work, capability, sense of pride etc etc! Even after 4 years I still find that something still crops up from time to time. I have never been the same again and while I have learned a great deal,have moved on and finding new ways to define my life, I still miss that sense of joy I used to experience. So now I am redesigning my next phase to do things outside of what I used to do and explore new possibilities. I think the most important thing to do is know who we are , that we are whole and perfect as we are, that we have lots to offer, bless the lessons learned and create a brand new day! Easier said than done sometimes!! Thanks for sharing! by the way --over the years what happened came around to those who created the mess in the first place. Have a beautiful day. POST A COMMENT »