Well another meeting just took place but this one will surely go down in the books as one of the most memorable.
Usually, to relieve boredom when the big boss speaks I (mentally) add things like "..and at that point I messed my pants" or "...and the next thing I knew I was standing there naked!" at the end of every third sentence, just to spice things up.
Let me set this scene up for you, the meeting was held in our cafeteria which is staffed by an outside company. One of the employees is an ederly lady whose daughter owns the outside company. This ederly lady ('Ma') has a bit of Alzheimers which is kept in check with medicine but every now and then she will begin talking to herself while wandering about. These conversations have no rhyme or reason and only involve people "Ma" can see. It can be a little disconcerting as it is a reminder of our own mortality but for everyone takes these episodes in stride and will insure Ma's daughter knows about it and she will quickly emerge from her office to help her dear mother out and calm her down.
Anyway, the CEO of the company was talking. The CEO has a hearing aid and he usually turns it off as he speaks due to the fact he apparently gets some feedback. I am sitting in the back row while he starts speaking while Ma suddenly begins pacing behind me and muttering to herself.
Speaker:....And so as you can see, business is good but still not where we want it to be!
Ma: It must have been my fault, maybe I didn't sit up high enough and that's why my face couldn't reach it!
Speaker:...overall we are in great shape..
(this was perfect)
Ma: I don't trust them, they say one thing and do something else! I still can't find my pants!
Speaker:...we are on track to get good bonuses.
Ma: Maybe I better find another job, these people took my dentures!
(Myself and others begin giggling)
Speaker: ..but we have to look out for (competitors name)
Ma: That damn dog messed up my carpet!!!!!
(Co-worker begins losing it)
Speaker: ...If you have any questions, please stop by and see me.
Ma:...who are you?
Yep, best meeting I ever attended!