What would YOU think?

Ok Scenario time. So I have an interview tomorrow and I'm trying to prepare for it, and I don't want a potential employer to think I'm unprofessional. The burning question for me today is:
If/When the potential employer asks me when I would be available to start.
You see, all, I don't plan on giving notice to my boss. I'm just gonna scram and leave her a voicemail telling her I quit. How do I put a positive twist on this? >_<

I was thinking of saying something like, "I can start Monday" or "Whenever you want me to start", but I can't help but feel like there's a bad undercurrent if I say that I can start immediately. I mean, they're GONNA KNOW I hate my job and I'm desperately trying to leave. Aren't they?
I don't want to look desperate, I want to come off polished and professional. This bag that I work with is anything but, and I'm trying to get away from her! I don't want to badmouth my previous employer, because that is also unprofessional. I just want to look like someone who is looking for a better opportunity, and a niche in which to use my talents to their fullest, and this job that I have just isn't it.
How do I project that without looking like an animal on the run?

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SouthernProgrammer (04/15/2009) Tell them you must give two weeks notice and then goof off for two weeks around the house...... HaveADamnNiceDay (04/15/2009) I'd love to, but my tuition money would disappear! Although, that WOULD be nice... CK (04/15/2009) Simple! It is normal to give two weeks notice. You can explain that you'd like to give your employer enough notice, finish projects, give a clean tranfer, etc. (all to give a good impression). This will give the employer the impression that you are a very consciences and concerned person not to give your soon to be former employer in a bind. Here is the key ... the employer would think if YOU would do this for your ex then you would give the same curtisy to him/her. This paints you in a good light to the employer! See? Then you can do what you want with regards to your soon to be ex. sri (04/15/2009) in india there's no 2 weeks notice; you come to india w/ me and I explain you. HaveADamnNiceDay (04/15/2009) Ok, that's great, guys, however, I have a NEW problem. My evil boss just fired me over email. How's THAT going to look? labtech (04/16/2009) She's punishing you for looking for another job. I bet the job you're interviewing for called her for information, and this is her revenge. It's happened to me. God only knows what she said about you to this new company, but I can lay some bets on it not being complimentary. You'll have to drop this job off your resume, for certain. You're better off away from the whackjob, anyway. bookwoman (04/16/2009) Wow. I'm so sorry to hear your boss upped the nasties. If you're not using this boss for a reference, and won't be providing contact info from her, then I would just say that your position wasn't needed after tax season. If you got on well with the other ladies in the office, then use one of them for a reference. I haven't always used previous bosses for references, I've used previous co-workers. Best of all, if you DID get on decently with a previous co-worker, then ask one of them for a written reference. I always get a written reference of some sort when leaving a job for a couple different reasons. One big one being that it might not be possible for a prospective employer to actually reach a prior job reference, the previous co-worker (or boss) might not still be there. Another reason is then you are able to provide a reference from a place you don't necessarily want a prospective employer to call. Then the contact info you DO provide to a prospective employer is limited to only that prior employment that is certain to provide positive feedback to reference checking. Hang in there. This evil boss is now in the past. Regardless of how badly SHE has handled everything, you are now rid of her. Kick the dust from your heels and move on. You are DONE with her. Now you can move onto more a more positive environment. SouthernProgrammer (04/16/2009) Fired you over email? Well that was real professional! Well that will teach you not to invite her out for Chinese food won't it!? Do you think the place you interviewed with contacted her? HaveADamnNiceDay (04/16/2009) I don't think they've contacted her, at least not yet. They asked why I left, and I told them truthfully it was a hostile environment and I'd rather take my chances than be in an office with a lady who keeps a gun in her desk. I tried to keep it as brief and concise as possible. SouthernProgrammer (04/16/2009) "Gun in the desk" That was a good answer! I don't think anyone could fault you for being nervous over that! HaveADamnNiceDay (04/16/2009) I have my MIL (mom-in-law) to thank for that one! I've told my family about the Derringer in the Desk. The gentleman that interviewed me today was actually a very nice fellow (weak handshake, though). When I told him about the gun, his eyebrows nearly touched his hairline. I agree, SP! I don't think anyone could blame me! thelma (04/16/2009) Sorry you got fired. It's her loss, not yours. Good luck with your job search. Fired via email is tres tacky. I wouldn't put this job on my resume. Say you were in school or something. BonusOnus (04/17/2009) HADND, I think you should be glad you are out of that place with your evil boss. Seriously, she was a nutcase. I hope someone above her notices the high turnover of your former position. Sri, in India, there's more than a 2 week notice. In India, there's a culture of corruption with regard to references. People can and do make up phony employment histories and then list a friend's number as a company phone number. Hiring companies can easily get fooled. When I was over there, people told me that if you claim that you worked for a company like Xerox, you must have a letter from Xerox, on Xerox's letterhead, stating that you worked at Xerox. This way, hiring companies have proof that you worked at the companies you claimed you worked at. Companies over there lord this letter over you so if you quit, you need to give them as much notice as they desire, or you won't get a letter from them. That's how bad it is in India folks. HaveADamnNiceDay (04/17/2009) Bonus-- Alas and alack, my boss owned the company. There were no higher-ups. Trust me, if ther were, her boss would have heard from me the very first time this BS started up. One of the odd things she told me was that she had a few jobs before starting her own business, and everywhere she went, she got demoted and picked on and even fired because she made everyone else look bad, because she did such an excellent job (read sarcasm here). It's my suspicion that she was such a pain in the @$$, and she was so impossible to get along with, people just couldn't stand her and probably got rid of her. I'm guessing she got fired a few times for gross misconduct. "T" gave me a call and said that the Harpy yelled and cussed all day the day she fired me (I had to call out sick, and that's actually why she fired me), and actually cursed out a client for stopping by to see if his taxes were ready. She used the F-word prolifically and told him he was interrupting her work. From what I understand, she had a visitor in her office for THREE HOURS, and to boot the last couple days I was at work I noticed she was watching way too much TV to be getting anything done (yes, there's a TV on her desk). She has complained more times than I can count that she doesn't have enough clients now and that she has whined that she didn't have enough appointments. Things, according to her, were supposed to be rockin' all tax season. It was soooo dead! You'd think that since there wasn't much to do, everything would have been DONE. Don't you think that makes sense? Yet, she was scrambling on the last day. I can't tell you guys how much free time I had sometimes. All I did was answer the phone that hardly rang, filed minimally, maintained the calendar (and I did make a mistake every now and then, but for the most part, I did it well), assembled folders for appointments, and watied on her immobile, obese @$$. I won't get into all the crap she accused me of (lying, being depressed, etc), because I have to get up and get going, but most of the stuff she listed was outright lies. The only thing she can really accuse me of was making mistakes, and resisting her attempts to control me and my life. I never got a job description, I never got any of the office policies in writing, and I had to track down my OWN W-4 and I-9 forms so they could do what they needed to do with my paychecks. They didn't even ASK for them. I had to seek them out. She even forgot to pay me on time TWICE. I never complained. But anyhow, I definitely have more stories that I HAVEN'T told! This lady is the definition of the boss from hell. Look it up in the dictionary, and you'll see her bloated face next to it. I just wonder what's gonna happen with unemployment.... the cynic (04/18/2009) Wow, well at least you're out of there. Aren't you going to tell us what she said in the email?? HaveADamnNiceDay (04/19/2009) In the email, she said i was being fired for cause: falsifying my time sheet (untrue) coming to work dramatically depressed (someone is projecting, here) ecluding "Y" from my communications (also false) carelessness with office property which caused the need for my phone to be repaired twice (my phone was so poorly put together at the wire anyone could have disconnected it by accident--and that's what happened because I was wiping off my desk, and I moved my phone, and it came APART) She said I had a lack of maturity that had a negative effect on the office (if, you mean immature by allowing myself to be screamed and cussed at and not giving it back, then yes, I'm an immature little jerk). she also accused me of coming to work late and sigining in that I came in on time, also untrue, since I often came to work EARLY. When I talked to "T", she told me that if I needed a witness on my behalf to have my back if the boss appealed unemployment, she would volunteer herself. I don't know if unemployment offices ask for that stuff, but it's nice to know I'm not crazy. This lady is a total psycho. The more I communicated with people, the more she acted like I wasn't talking to anyone. The less I responded to her provokations, the more she accused me of being immature and depressed. I stopped reacting to her, and it made her mad! I'm not perfect, I make mistakes here and there, but if I make one, I view it not as a failure, but as a lesson to be learned. People who don't learn from their mistakes are condemned to repeat them. The biggest mistake I made this time around was staying with this lady when I could have quit and pretended like I had never worked there within 30 days. Oh well.... BonusOnus (04/20/2009) HADND, Your boss is firing you (termination with cause) because she doesn't want you to get unemployment (UI). You've said earlier that there is a lot of turnover at your position. Well, if she just let people go, then these people would naturally file a UI claim. If a company keeps laying off people too often, their UI insurance rates go up. She probably experienced this so she's filing you as "with cause", in which case, you have no right to UI and she doesn't have to worry about higher UI rates. File a UI claim *and* get ready to be challenged by it by your boss. Trust me, this is what she's doing. labtech (04/21/2009) Write down what happened, what day, what transpired, all the lunatic stuff; you may need it in the fight to get unemployment assistance. Journal format is fine. She sounds like a serial firer, and you were just the latest in a long list. So she'll have experience fighting it and saying 'the right things' to get her way. SouthernProgrammer (04/21/2009) > She sounds like a serial firer, and you were just the latest in a long list. > I agree with this comment and thus think HAD would stand a good chance of winning. All she needs to do is get her friend "T" to testify that HAD was just one in a long list. So then the point becomes "Why were ALL of these people fired? Were ALL of them unacceptable or is the problem with the employers ridiculous expectations?" POST A COMMENT »