I've been at my company for over 15 years and I've put in my share of unpaid OT, worked my share of Saturdays, and given up my share of vacation days. Yet, every time I need a legitimate sick day, my boss rolls his eyes and gives me a tone like I'm full of crap. You'd have to literally barf up a lung right in front of him to prove you weren't faking. You'd think after 15 years, I've proven my credibility by now.
I figured since I am being labeled as a fibber anyway, I might as well get the benefit of the time off. I called in sick one Monday morning and, because I am a very shitty liar, I stumbled and ended up making up an off the cuff excuse that I had pink eye.. which I didn't realize was a week long 'vacation'.. I only needed one day, but apparently because this is highly contagious, he had to report it to the company nurse, and next thing you know I get a call from health and safety that I have to stay home for a week. Sweet! .... Except.. now I need a note from my doctor. How the heck am I supposed to get that? I know, I'll rub some moistenedsalt in my eye get it nice and red, and then go see the doc for some cream and a note..
(seemed like a good idea at the time), I put a little salt in some warm water except I don't realize it hasn't completely dissolved yet and as I rub the salt water in, I scratch the cornea and end up having to wear a frik'n eye patch for the whole week I had off. Real fun. I'm stuck in the house because I can't drive, and now the other eye is starting to hurt from over compensating and by the time the following Monday comes, I am literally half blind but I have to go back to work.. I'm out of excuses... suck it up dumbass.
Not withstanding the fact that I now know that Salt water won't actually make your eyes red since we are 95% water and Saline, I also didn't know that pink eye doesn't literally mean your eye gets pink...
I have officially earned won the "Retard of Month" Award.