How important are bridges really? I know they always tell you not to burn bridges but I have never had an employer call a previous employer. I present myself well in interviews and have the credentials to back myself up. So what does it really matter how I leave? I have accepted a job offer and (in about a month) will be leaving a job that I absolutely hate. The boss here has treated me like crap and I intend to let him know as much. I know it would feel great and I know the other people left here would love it. However, I have this little voice inside me that is telling me to just go quietly and forget about it. Tell me honestly, what do you think?
- Possible bridge arsonist
That little voice inside you? Listen to it!
While you may feel a sense of intestinal fortitude, bear in mind that your new job offer does not make you invincible. You say that you have never had an employer call a previous employer. Alotta wonders how you know for certain that you haven't. You also say that your current boss treats you like crap. If he treats you that way now, Alotta knows it's a sincere and likely possibility that he will badmouth you when potential employers come calling. Sure it would feel great to tell him what you really think and yes, your coworkers would relish it. But try to think past that five-minute period of bliss when you tell him which orifice to kiss. That's a short-term, albeit thrilling, high from which you can come down hard. Like any situation that makes you angry, time will go by and your perspective will change. You'll thank yourself in the end if you exit the stage without delivering a monologue.
Alotta has indeed torched some bridges in her time and has lived to regret it. As such, she strongly advises you to adopt an attitude of class and restraint. Should you require a feeling of revenge, call upon the old saying that says, "The best revenge is living well". And then, of course, live well.
- Alotta, ardently
I would like to find a way to tell the boss (owner) who does not want to manage in any way, about two of his employees. One of these employees is his next-door neighbor and they are very good friends. Anyway, they are supposed to take half an hour lunches but take an hour every day. They go to the lunchroom taking up to a half an hour to prepare their lunch and then clock out for half an hour. When they come back it takes them another half an hour to wash their dishes and talk with whoever else is at lunch. In the mean time, I am stuck with the phones. Also, almost every day around 3:30 p.m. they are done for the day! That just happens to be when the boss leaves every day. On top of all that, they often sit around for another 15 minutes to half an hour after quitting time just to rack up overtime! Should I bring a camera to work? Is there anything I can do to help the boss discover this? Others at work have noticed but will not speak up.
Sure there are things you can do to "help" your boss "discover" this. But Alotta imagines that your boss is already aware of the situation and has no interest in "discovering" anything. Since the two employees get on famously with the boss and one is his next-door-neighbor, you must find the strength to stay out of it. Picture the following scenario:
You document and take pictures of the employees, the clock, the dishwashing and the fake overtime. You proudly present these to your boss. Your boss looks them over and:
a) jumps up and says "I knew it!" Those idiots are fired!
b) thanks you for your diligence, dismisses you and throws the information into a drawer never to be seen again.
c) thanks you, but tells you he trusts his employees. Later that night he shares the story with his "good friend and neighbor" over a beer.
d) tells you that you’re out of line and that you should spend less time worrying about them and more time worrying about you.
While you may be picturing scenario "A", it is the least likely (by a long shot) of the four. Most likely is some combination of b – d. Think about what you will be asking your boss if you tattle on your coworkers. You'll be asking him to introduce adversity into his relationship with his "good friend and neighbor". You'll also be pitting yourself against the three of them and Alotta would be willing to bet the cost of your Polaroid camera and the neighbor's beer that you'll lose in the end.
Take a step back and examine how much time you are spending worrying about these two. In this case, Alotta strongly suggests that you MYOB. If you're that unhappy with the status quo, try extending your own lunches or merging your 15-minute breaks into your lunchtime (as these two are perhaps doing?). Unfortunately, in this situation it's either turn the other cheek or hop on board the slacker train.
- Alotta, firmly