After Hours

June is here and in the Sunny South we are baking!  During June Southerners generally try to look for a shady spot to just sit
and not try and move to much.   We like summer, but we just don't like to move much otherwise we will faint from the heat!

Last week I began having pains in my abdominal area, the pains were so severe that I was becoming convinced my appendix was trying to crawl out of me.   I didn't have a fever but was in SEVERE pain so I went to the local "Doctors Care" where I was promptly escorted into the back when I described what was happening.

After much poking and prodding the Doctor drew some blood to take a white blood cell count and after a while reported that it was POSSIBLE my appendix was inflamed but the only consistant symptom I had with appendicitis was the pain along with ailments consistant with a stomach virus (you figure it out)

I was sent home with instructions to rest and go to the ER if I started running a fever.

After a day of rest, the pain was no better and in fact seemed to have gotten worse.   My wife then suggested I see "Dr Mike".

"Dr Mike" is a Chiropracter who attended an accredited Medical University but is a big believer in home remedys.  I don't care WHAT you have, this guy can fix you up and he only charges $25 to see him and he does not file for insurance. 

I like "Dr Mike" and have seen him many times but the problem is he does not take appts, you go to his office and if you are lucky you will be seen within the hour or you can actually wait up to FOUR HOURS as he has patients that even come from other states!  I have personally met several patients who came from OTHER COUNTRIES to see "Dr Mike" after he was recommended by family members.

I agreed with my wife that maybe Dr Mike could help and drove to see him. 

To my pleasant surprise, I was seen within 30 minutes.   Dr Mike began the interrogation session which is quite interesting.

Dr Mike starts your visit by asking what is going on while poking and prodding around your body.   I remember I once went in with a back problem and he began asking questions about my dental work.   He then got a paper clip and asked me to open my mouth and began touching each tooth.  Finally he touched one tooth and said "You are having a problem with the root in this tooth, you need to get it checked out!"

I was actually seeing the dentist that week for a checkup and their x-rays showed that I was indeed having a root problem with that tooth!

As Dr Mike finished probing he said "I think I found the problem, let me call in Nick".

Nick is Dr Mikes partner in his practice.  Nick looks like he once sang backup for The Beach Boys.   He is a very laid back 60ish man who wears floral shirts and spends a lot of his time playing tennis.   Nick is a walking encyclopedia about plants, muscle spasms, and accupuncture.   Nick is very kind but I am pretty sure he is from another universe!

When I first met Nick he showed me some of his work in the back.   He subscribes to a theory that each and every person has a unique 'signature' to their body and that he can capture it with a modified camera.  Once he puts this 'signature' into his computer he can 'help you' no matter where you are in the world!

He offered to take my picture but I declined while resisting the urge to run screaming through a wall in the building like a Daffy Duck cartoon.

So Nick walks in and closes his eyes while moving his right hand over my body.   While doing this he moves his thumb and second finger together in a rubbing fashion.   Again I resist the urge to run out screaming.

After a minute or so Nick turns to Dr Mike and says "Open duct and a twist?"  Dr Mike grins and says "That's what I got".

Apparently I had an intestinal duct stuck open and a slightly twisted intestine.

So Dr. Mike asks Nick to loosen my muscles and he would adjust me.  Nick asks me to lie face down and begins the torture.  Torture is the only word I can use to describe what happened.   When Nick is going to loosen your muscles he is SERIOUS.   This man has incredibly strong hands and uses them to grab my back and knead my muscles as if he were kneading dough to make a pie.  He then used his elbow to go up and down my legs and hip area.

I pity anyone who ever breaks into this mans house, I think he would just throw him down to the ground and begin working on his back while the man cried out in pain!   I told Nick he should work for the CIA to help interrogate prisoners,  he laughed and attacked my back with greater zeal.

Dr Mike then came in.   Dr Mike had me lie on my back and had Nick grab my ankles and hold pull my legs to one side.   It then appeared that Dr Mike began trying to support his entire body weight on his second finger while pressing a spot on my side.   I found a whole new definition for the word pain!  

After a few minutes of this, Dr Mike then put one arm around my legs and another arm around my back and squeezed me as if I were an accordian.   I honestly don't know what he was trying to do but I think we would be married in several states.

He then adjusted my neck and my back and repeated the procedure.  After all this, he instructed me to monitor for a fever and to go straight to an ER if the pain got worse.  The next day my 'stomach virus' symptoms had disappeared and my abdominal pain had lessened.  At this point the pain is but a memory.

I really am becoming a firm believer in alternative medicine but I still don't want Nick to take my picture....