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Co-Workers from Hell

Everyone has that co-worker they can't stand. Read and share your stories here!
Women in workplace Written by Female Fed on 08/09/201315 years in private sector and 15 years in public sector. I am intelligent, w/advanced degree, thin, well dressed and reasonably attractive. I am DONE with women in the workplace. It pains me to say it since I grew up in the 60s and 70s and was a feninist. I am sick of their, whining, jealousy, stupidity, unprofessionalism, backstabbing, etc. Give me a male, even if he is a sexist.Read 2 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by Really2?! on 08/13/2013:
I see. Interesting post. Hmmm, I agree to an extent but however in most cases, it is funny to me how some people can make comments concerning other people in work situations as though they are the victims in the midst of the situations and are actually the very culprits who causes hostility, chaos and havoc in job environments with lies, jealousy and hate. Then sit back and take no responsibility for it...Sad and Miserable people is what they are called, because happy people who are content with their lives do not constantly keep up nonsense and BS on jobs and then blame it on other people...

Posted by PeonWithATude on 08/15/2013:
Not sure I really understand your complaint .... of course it was as general statement without any facts. In fact it was an "opinion" that the females were jealous. What did they say, when did they say it? Have you ever been around a man who said a derogatory comment about ANY other person in the office, well I have, and it was negative, so was he "jealous" possibly not but he did mean to insinuate that that person did not know what they were doing, so that is possibly a way to make them more superior or was the statement the truth? So, my point is that both male and females in the office make "comments" about co-workers, most of the time behind their backs, and believe me I have a lot of complaints about my co-workers, but I am not naive to think that what I am saying about them, they are probably saying the same about me. The main issue is that the statements should be work related and if they are justified then why is the supervisor not addressing the issues? In general, there is so much "favoritism" in a work place and do we not all say it is who you know? Well if those two statements are true then possibly your co-workers are not jealous but actually stating facts. Obviously, you do not think very highly of these people and are making judgments, what motivates your statements?

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We didn't do anything wrong! Written by wage slave on 04/27/2013My friend and I ran for union office last year because the old president never came to work. No communication came from the union and most people felt they were paying for nothing. We won and the old president and his friends have made my life a living hell since. During our first officers meeting 2 of his friends yelled at us for running. They insisted that we sign off on the books for our tax returns without an audit. The other officers were so nasty they refused to give us grievance forms or letterhead. When I printed papers I was working on they would grab them and look at them.

The old president sent out letters to our national office saying how incompetent we are. 1 of the current officer sent out a letter maligning us but it had so many spelling mistakes in it, it was laughable. She was one of the 2 officers who yelled at us. These 2 sweethearts have refused to represent anyone or give their time to any project. I am tired of fighting these idiots. They are tearing this Union apart and no one seems to care.
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Posted by walking by on 04/29/2013:
I care! I know what it feels like to be let down by a local that is supposed to represent you. Unfortunately years ago some dunderheads took this particular local private and it became their own personal club. Long ago both sides ignored the importance of the Weingarten Rights, they reduced themselves to a so/so bargaining unit and would only investigate anti union actions. Would not help or represent me while i was on industrial and short time disability. Their reasoning: My automatic union dues withdrawal had stopped during work injury pay. Had no control over that. Parted ways with them years ago.

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I hate my co-worker Written by pittsburger83 on 12/21/2012I just started my job 3 months ago. At first everything was great. Good money, close to future looked bright. Until the co-worker from hell decided she wanted to make my life miserable. Every day she talks to me like I'm an idiot and double checks everything I do. I have been trying to tolerate her, but that was until yesterday. I sat down with my boss and he advised that she told him I don't know what I'm doing, when in fact I've been doing my job just fine. I know more about computer programs than this old bitch does. For goodness sakes, they use Corel Word Perfect which is older than dirt!!!!!!! I'm tired of her and tired of her shit. I'll be damned if I lose my job over her!!!Read 1 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by tired of jerks at work on 12/23/2012:
I found slashing tires a great eye opener..they kind of get the hint that if someone goes to that extreme all sort of things can happen from there...stand your ground

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My boss isn't so bad, but my coworkers...... Written by Forkeh on 06/16/2012Okay, so I work in a restaurant. My boss really isn't so bad. He's kind of a nice guy. He works hard. My only real complaint is that he won't stand up to problem employees, because we've had ex employees sue in the past; he's a bit gun shy with the firing.

This is a problem because we have a handful of absolutely incompetent workers. I hate it. These people can't do the simplest damned task. It's not like their jobs are hard; no brain power required to mop a floor. It's not like their shifts are long, maybe 5 hours? But I've spent the last two years at this damned job cleaning up their messes. It's gotten even worse since I was promoted to supervisor, because it's not directly my problem. One of them has a real problem with female authority (I'm a woman). I get so much freakin' lip from that girl, it's ridiculous. Don't start cursing under your breath about how much of a bitch I am (yes I can hear you) when I'm just telling you to do your job! You don't get paid to stand around. You work in a restaurant, you have to clean, get over it! Jesus.

I've absolutely had it with this damned job, and my useless crew. Where are all the people who want a job and put in at least a minimalist effort? I know minimum wage sucks for the crew, but damn, what happened to work ethic? You take a job, you do your job, regardless of what you're paid. Don't like it, quit!!!!!!!!!!!

And oh jeeze, some of I guess you'd call them? Other supervisors. Talk about leading by example. All day standing around doing nothing, when you could be helping with something. Playing with your phone? Give me a break! And then you have the audacity to chew me out, for things that didn't get done on my shift (I close almost every shift), are you really serious? I'm sorry, even when my crew isn't being incompetent, are we really supposed to get all of the food prep and cleaning done, as well as work through the busiest parts of the day....really? What exactly is it that your opening crew does, besides set up and serve the few customers that trickle in?

Maybe if we got a bit more help, more would get done. Asshats.
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Posted by Forkeh on 06/16/2012:
Edit: It's *now* directly my problem.

Posted by labtech on 07/17/2012:
This seems to be a common problem. The incompetent/lazy ones get by with the bare minimum of work, and depending on their connections/the fear of management that they will sue, they just get kept on. I'm sorry you're stuck. Document everything. Hope that you can write a report to upper, upper management detailing the problems and get something done. Don't be surprised if this backfires on you and YOU get fired, though. There is NO work ethic anymore, but there are a lot of kiddies with cell phones to play with all day.

Posted by Forkeh on 10/06/2012:
Yeah it was an angry rant. I made typos. There's not much upper management to speak of. Just a General Manager and the Owner. Small business. As I said the Manager is really gun shy, but the Owner won't stand for crap. Unfortunately everyone is on their best behavior when he's around....but he's gone 90% of the time. It's good to be the king I guess.

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WORST CO-WORKERS EVER. Written by ihatemyjob12 on 05/12/2012Okay, so I work at a fast food restaurant.. Yeah, I'm sure you can already see where this is going.. I have the MOST annoying co-workers and assistant managers!! One of my co-workers has recently become a team leader and she takes things way to seriously. Things have really gone over her head.. The other day, my operator took a few team leaders to another store location to see how their drive thru runs. AS SOON AS SHE GOT BACK, she kept saying well, this store does this, this way. Its so annoying... And sometimes, I think she really thinks I'm the ONLY employee there.. Off of her. Theres this other girl.. Just a normal worker... SHE COMPLAINS SO MUCH. And she has this real whiney, raspy voice.. The other day she came up to our manager and said "can iplease go home, I have a headache" Oh. and she started crying.. But then, I saw her talking to someone for like 30 minutes. SHE IS NEVER ACTUALLY WORKING.. Shes always disappearing and its SO ANNOYING.. Bitch cries too much!!! Add a Reply
I don't understand Written by lame reason on 04/17/2012I was fired because a coworker said I poured my perfume to have another coworker have an asthma attack. Read 1 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by Anon on 04/18/2012:
Could you expand on that story a little? I also had a coworker with asthma and she could be a manipulative pain and very good at spreading rumors. No perfume, no fragrance and when we moved into a new office no carpet. Thanks to her we had to stand and walk on unfinished cement floor.

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I get it. Written by Office Drone on 03/20/2012Dearest Co-Worker, I get it. I really do. Turning forty is a terrifying milestone. Especially for a single mom. Who knows, when I go through it in fifteen years, maybe I’ll be the same way. So I get that’s why you’re doing this. Why the sudden new wardrobe. And the new hair. And the new way of speaking. (all of which I’m sure your tween age daughter just loves) Most of all I get the new group of girlfriends made up entirely of the college interns. I do get that in order to fit in with the new group, you suddenly feel the need to go out of your way to treat me like crap. I even get why, when I walked up to give you some work information, you felt the need to tell me that you couldn’t ‘take’ me to the ‘kids’ movie next weekend. That may be I could go with your daughter and her little friends. And why as I walked away, you giggled hysterically. I get it. Can’t wait until you do.

I would like to mention a few things before I officially end this ‘relationship’. One, you look and sound ridiculous. You are almost forty. It comes after thirty nine. Deal with it. And not even teenagers dress like that to go to work. The interns don’t. Should have been your first clue. Two, your new ‘friends’ talk about you constantly behind your back. They roll their eyes when you try to speak like them. They take pictures of your ‘cool new outfits’ to trade and laugh over them later. You are their joke. Three, you trying to make me look or sound young or immature is weird considering I am a couple years older than your new group of friends. The movie that you can’t ‘take me to’? They are wildly excited about going to see it and have invited me to go with them. Twice. And I may go. And finally, they are interns. Unpaid, temporary interns. They’ll be gone by June. Just in time for your birthday.

But I would like to remind you that you pushed this friendship. You’ve been insisting on us having a ‘relationship’ outside of work for over a year. Pressing me to go to the bars, clubs, even though it’s really not fun for me. So I’m not really devastated that this friendship is ending. I get it.

Oh and P.S. speaking of clubs. The new one you’re so excited about taking everyone to? (except me of course) The one that’s so packed with so cute single guys? It’s a club for gay men. And your friends know it. Have fun!
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Posted by Mrs_Anonymous on 03/21/2012:
Sounds like some of the people on the TV show, How Do I Look, particularly the one where the mom dressed up all in pink, complete with tu-tu. And this from a woman close to or over 40. Yikes! I like the zinger at the end, though, that she doesn't even get that the new club is actually a gay bar. ;-)

Posted by dizzblnd on 04/28/2012:
I just turned 40. I haven't changed.. I don't act a day older then 25. I have seen women in my workplace go through that midlife crisis. It is very sad to have to watch then embarrass themselves like that. I hope, for the sake of your friendship (if you still want it) that she will soon grow out of this phase, grow up (mentally and emotionally) and realize that she's being mocked, ask for your forgiveness.

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How i became a supervisor with no power Written by crazy times on 01/05/2012I took this job as a machine shop supervisor and agreed to teach and mentor this 20 something year old kid. its been nothing but nightmare. this kid is typical next generation douche. he keeps screwing off I caught him on cameras the boss dismisses it making my job difficult. because I cannot do anything with this punk. I always get a excuse for every time I see screwing off or distracting other employees standing there talking. I will walk around him and the other employee but he does not take himself to his machine like he should or would kind makes you feel he can is untouchable. my boss does not stand by me and that is not helping me do my job. so being frustrated to the point I want to punch this kid just for the sake of getting no relief. this kid has made me a fool hand fulls of times..its like the boss is afraid of letting him go..because finding a replacement not in the cards because of help or hiring expensive because of demand is high and I hear that all the time..I even considered leaving my job due to his punk ass but I have a good thing going with my work schedule where I can drop and pick up my little kid. I bet many out there have experienced this type of b s. we hired another same aged kid only older and these guys seem to want to get paid for not knowing anything or seem entitled. this kid says when he gets a raise he wants a dollar. I tried to tell him knowledge is power that is only way to get better pay. yet he shrugs it off as if I am lame. lol I recently caught him on my laptop webcam screwing off with the other employee and me working around him again..yet he says he was teaching my worker about a part of the equipment when I know that's just is b s its an excuse to get away when he is caught. frankly if my boss doesn't stand by me I am going to flip out. my boss says did you ask him what he was doing? the video is self explaining even with bad sound I said I did not need to I knew what he was doing..and that he was screwing off and there was nothing I could do about it unless I tell him to go work in a stern way. this loser told me awhile back he used to work for a toy store and explained to me how he made a fool of his boss at that job I feel he thinks I am that same boss lol these young kids nowadays are nuts Read 1 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by BonusOnus on 02/15/2012:
You need to tell your boss that you need to have supervisory power over the young kid. If the boss won't grant it to you, request that you transfer the kid to another supervisor (if there is another one). The other thing is that it's possible that the kid is connected somehow. He might be the owner's son or nephew or your manager's friend's son. Do you know enough about the young kid? Some intelligence work, such as asking how he got the job, might provide some valuable insight.

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How are the incompetent taking over? Written by constipatethebull on 11/04/2011I remember the day when at work 90% of the worker bees and almost 100% of the managers were good people. You were hired based on your skills. Everybody worked hard, did their job, and wanted to be productive and successful. If you did 120%, you were rewarded with raises and promotion. Logic and common sense ruled everything. There was no way to loose unless you were just a LOOSER. NOW, the workplace in general is run by LOOSERS. For more people than not it all just seems hopeless, with no positive light in the near future. Not just for me but others I talk to: People get hired based on who they know. 75%-100% of the worker bees are completely useless and incompetent; all they want to do is pass the buck and will do whatever it takes to make their incompetence look like someone else's fault. The people running the show are worthless bureaucrat poopie-crats . Business process is run by emotion and personal insecurity rather than logic and common sense. For the people who suck the most at their jobs, they get promoted so they can repeat the cycle. Meanwhile the good hard working honest people get more crap ran down their face than the bottom of a porta potty. This cycle just keeps getting more prevalent and worse for everyone I talk to. How the hell do we stop it? I don't understand it ever, but especially now when so many good hard working ethical people are out of work. How are these loosers getting to feed their families when so many good people are not?Read 2 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by wageslave on 11/25/2011:
The only thing that keeps me sane anymore is to focus on what I need to do. In my office the Managers and Leads are chosen like a popularity contest. Sometimes they actually make good choices that way, I think it's 50/50. I try my very best to ignore everyone. I do what I need to get done and leave. My husband always says, "Do your 8 and skate." I resisted that philosophy for years and I was miserable. Years ago they put me in the QA department. I really saw up close and personal how childish our managers and department heads were. My miserable boss was an out and out pscho at the time. I think living in a fishbowl and being judged by everyone did that to her. She had quadruple bypass surgery and somehow it normalized her. The point is don't make work your life. Find something worthy of your time. Invest all that time and energy in your family, yourself, your education, your religion/spirituality or even your friends. Remember these jokers are not worth your time or thoughts or tears! I hope things get better for you.

Posted by An on 06/26/2013:
Exactly same story.. The best way is to leave and not bend to these people, never. I left and realized how miserable I was there. I was happy with pay and my own team, but management and other offfice staff were just sucking up and incompetent. Few months later, they are with worse sales numbers as ever, which proves I made right decision.

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Somebody help me understand this... Written by HaveADamnNiceDay on 09/22/2011So, the East Coast was rocked with a little earthquake last month. Guess who has two thumbs and got hurt during? This girl. It's really interesting, because my injury seems to have changed the atmosphere in the office, and the way people *really* are is really becoming apparent. Yes, as a company, this place still treats me really well. I'm reasonably compensated, nobody is in my face all day, and if I think I want to do something one way instead of another, so long as the outcome is the same, nobody gives a crap.
My injury is basically a torn piece of cartilage in my knee, which requires surgery, which is happening tomorrow morning. I'm on crutches, in the meantime. People's attitudes are really interesting now.

Miss D, the payroll lady has almost adopted the "How DARE you get hurt at work! How DARE you walk on crutches! How DARE you need surgery!" attitude. She has resorted to being passive-aggressive in certain circumstances, and in some cases downright rude about my condition. I'm freakin' temporarily handicapped, for cryin' out loud! The other day, we arrived at the office at the same time. She literally bolted from her car to the front door so that she could avoid having to hold it for me. The door does not have any kind of automatic open function. I have to struggle with the door, my backpack and my crutches all at once. Some of the guys in the office are more courteous and they will actually hold doors or carry boxes for me if needed. They are *always* courteous to me. She, on the other hand, has made a point of pretending I'm not even partially disabled. Everyone today has wished me luck on my surgery tomorrow as they've all left for the day. Not her, nooooo... "I'm taking a half day, HADND"
Me: "Ok, enjoy."<---secretly thinking, "thank you, eff-you, have a nice day."
*door closes*

I suppose since she is over pretending to be nice to me I should oblige her the same. I've also been wondering if the extra attention my condition has garnered is making her angry/jealous or something. Sure, I totally *meant* to hurt myself because I totally *knew* there'd be an earthquake a month ago!

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Posted by SupaFlyJedi on 09/23/2011:
I think she's just jealous of the attention you are getting (I'm HR I'm IMPORTANT! I should get more attention than you!) You can't predict future events?! They must've missed putting that requirement down on the job app. This also looks like a classic selfish attitude that I left in the sandbox when I was 5. But some people grow old, they don't grow up.

Posted by frogleghorn on 09/24/2011:
As soon as something happens to her, do the same shit she was doing to you and if she gets mad, scream at her that karma is a b*tch and it hurts don't it when she done that to you. If she snitches, tell them she done the same thing to you.

Posted by wageslave on 09/28/2011:
Does your injury create extra paperwork for her? In the case of minor injuries/mishaps, our managers have told people in my office, "You can't apply for workers comp for that." They do this because they are too lazy and inept to fill out the paperwork. I believe some people get managerial jobs just to avoid real work.

Posted by Sphincter Detector on 09/28/2011:
This one's easy.. she things you're full of poop! . She thinks your're overdramatising your injury and that you're milking it. I would speculate that she is an older lady or at least has been at the company for a while, has a superior work ethic and if it wasn't for her the whole place would fall about. She probably ever took a day off in her life and in her world, you'd have to litterally barf up a lung right in front of her to convice her that you're illness is legitimate. And iven then she'd blame you for not taking better care of yourself. The way you deal with these type of people is to just not care what they think but also don't let them get away with bad behavior. Next time she runs up ahead of you, hollar at her from behind .. "EXCUSE ME, would you mind holding the door for me please!" Make her accountable for the behavior. If she gives you any wize cracks, call her on it.. 'Is there any reason why you isnist on treating me as if this injury is all in my head?" Trick is not to let her get to you. Hope your surgery went well, happy healing!

Posted by dontask on 09/28/2011:
How are you feeling HADND? Get well, take good care of yourself and don't let this Ms D rush you into a permanent injury. D stands for Dragon, does it not?

Posted by leapfrog on 09/29/2011:
for better things to come and happy new year to a certain percentile.

Posted by labtech on 10/01/2011:
Yep, she's a real gem. Just ignore her as the sub-human, mannerless oaf that she is. Now she has to do her actual job with Worker's Compensation and she resents having to WORK. My goodness, that's just too mean of you to expect her to WORK. If you want to stir the pot: maybe a nice comment with the boss in hearing range, "You know, Miss D, it's really nice of Bob and Jim to hold the door for me during this short time when I am on crutches, but I understand that you are too busy to help me out when we arrive at work at the same time." Add Big Smile. Famous quote from our own Mannerless Mary: "I HAVE manners !" Our response, "Do you keep them in a box, in your closet ?"

Posted by dontask on 10/02/2011:
Most likely her closet and that discussion could open up a different can of worms. Don't fret HADND, after a work injury I experienced almost identical treatment from a supervisor who either wouldn't or could't do the 'paperwork'. She could not find and fill out the correct forms, she omitted the most important facts and did all she could to obfuscate. Read carefully through anything Ms. D. hands you to sign. Be watchful my Ms. D. rushed at me physically, hip-checked and shoulder-checked. She also argued about physical rehab, address and distance.

Posted by Auntie AB on 10/05/2011:
I have seen this over and over again in my 54 young years (I have worked 38 years of my life so far). HR and managment types (humans?!) have fragile egos. They talk but it isn't out of their mouths. They don't believe their bodies emit odors and they believe they alone can walk on water. Truth? These HR and management types emit the worst types of odors (that penetrate the souls, hearts and minds of good co-workers) and they CAN walk on liquids...but these liquids ARE not plain water but other fluid substances that can be only recycled by Russian cosmonauts into water. Long rant short? Be courteous, smile now and when something WICKED happens to them (which it WILL, trust me)? Smile even BRIGHTER!!!

Posted by Miska on 10/11/2011:
I recently a Business Text Book for College....and in the book they talked about "Employees who are Handicapped" and their rights. Did you know that the door was supposed to be changed as soon as you came in with crutches? The law states the company MUST make handicap friendly doors and bathrooms. The fact that you got hurt at work automatically allows you to stay home and file workers compensation. These two MAJOR things uproared the company on a silent level because it reflected how poorly their environment was for handicapped employees. You should call a lawyer and possibly get a case going. She was discriminating and you had no worker's compensation. You have a real case. That is what the payroll lady was so worried about. She knows these types of laws in a work place. She was angry because she was hoping that you weren't going to use your rights and demand compensation.

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Makes me Uncomfortable.... Written by HaveADamnNiceDay on 08/11/2011So we have this guy who works for us out in the field, and he's a foreman at a few of our job sites... He comes into the office somewhat often to pick up paychecks and talk to his boss. However, lately, he's been making me feel *very* uncomfortable.

I'm usually the sunny, friendly type, so I tend to greet people rather cheerfully, saying things like "Hey, what's up" or "What's shakin'". The latter greeting I made the mistake of giving to this guy, we'll call Mr. Y. Instead of saying the usual, "Oh, nothing much, how are you", I got, "Looks like you are" with a leering, greasy stare directed at my backside. I then heard him mutter under his breath, "that's nice" and at that moment I wanted to plant my foot in his groin. This was months and months ago, and I think I made the mistake of pretending not to notice him leering at me and making inappropriate comments. Since that time, I make it a point to avoid him when possible, although I'm not mean or nasty or disrespectful to him when I do have to interact with him.

A month or two ago, he snuck up on me behind my desk and poked me in the ribs with both index fingers, prompting me to jump with alarm (because NOBODY touches me at work). I was seriously annoyed and very uncomfortable at this, since he was standing right in my bubble. I really wanted to run him over with my chair.

I still avoid him, and I'm still polite, but my patience is wearing thin. I'm just about ready to jump all over him if he does something else that makes me uncomfortable like that. However, I've been reluctant to mention anything to the higher-ups because I've watched them turn a blind eye to inter-office conflict before, and this guy is a foreman they genuinely depend on. He's won awards for his workmanship. However, this is a serious issue and if it were anyone else, they could have a lawsuit on their hands for negligence in handling a sexual harassment complaint. I'm at a loss as to what to do. I hate having to talk to the guy, I hate looking at him and I hate doing work for him. I'm completely skeeved out. Help!
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Posted by bookwoman on 08/12/2011:
Look him straight in eyes, hard and direct, keep your voice low, and tell him his behaviour is a form of sexual harrassment, completely unacceptable, and if he does or says one more inappropriate thing that you will file a formal complaint against him. Don't even mention HR when you say this. And don't go to them before you do this - if you even have to do this - go to them AFTER. And don't ASK HR about it, TELL them about it. Muster your inner warrior and simply tell them that this employee has been inappropriate, you have told him he is inappropriate and to stop with any comments/behaviour, and you are simply letting them know. You could even write them an email and therefore have it documented. I feel very strongly about this as I have been in your shoes, sort of, in two different jobs. As well as the Navy, back in the stone age. The last job in which I had a similar experience was my last job. Which I resigned from because of such behaviour by one certain person, who I had complained about to my management. When I submitted my letter of resignation to my manager, which simply stated that "my last day with XX company would be 30 September 2009." My manager didn't even contact me, he sent right to HR, which called me in to ask me for the reason I was leaving. I'm not suggesting you go this far, I'm just relating an experience. Anyway, HR met with me for three hours, wrote down everything I said, and when I left the company, when I RESIGNED, did not fight my unemployment claim OR my claim for benefits due to dislocated workers (the benefit that has been paying for my college education). They wanted me to just go away and not take legal action, which I know because they fought EVERYONE who they even laid off about unemployment and benefits. They also forced my whole department to attend extended sexual harrassment training after I left. Bottom line? It is not acceptable to make a fellow employee uncomfortable by taking personal liberties with them. I do believe, based on previous experience, that if you present yourself in a matter-of-fact, not overtly emotional manner, with a clear expectation that the offending behaviour will not be tolerated, you will be taken seriously, no matter how important this scumbag is in their business. If it was me, I would also contact the Department of Labor regarding your exact rights in such a situation, and for advice on how to handle it, just to be prepared. I would do this even if I had no desire to pursue action, but just to educate myself and be informed. There is no reason on earth why someone who skives you so much should be allowed to act like this in the workplace. You wouldn't take it in a store or a gym or other public place. Don't let the fact that you're an employee and need the paycheck stop you from drawing boundaries that are reasonable. Hopefully he will just leave you alone, but if he doesn't, let the warrior out.

Posted by frogleghorn on 08/13/2011:
Sue his ass for sexual harassment. That's an easy quarter of a million for you and that will also give him the embarrassment to go home and tell his wife what he's been doing to other women while on the job. What I would do is hide a tape recorder somewhere or a small video camera somewhere, catch him in the act and give it to a lawyer. Don't edit any audio or video tapes you make of him making passes at you so you can admit that into evidence. He's going to be one salty idiot after the court case is settled.

Posted by Printing Fool on 08/14/2011:
I have done this before in my much younger years, if you have a male friend who is HUGE and can look mean have him drop by. If you can know when this jerk will come by be sure to have your friend handy. Just have him walk in say "Hi babes" peck you on the cheek, make small talk. Say "I'll see you later tonight and let you know how my day went." When your "boyfriend" turns around to leave make sure he makes eye contact with this creep. Nothing threating, just eye contact. If this creep doesn't take the hint, then you'll eventually have to spell it out for him. I've done this before, and it was my real boyfriend, he was also 6'4 weighed almost 270lbs and played semi pro football. It cured that situation like a charm!

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 08/15/2011:
@Bookwoman-- I also have strong feelings about this, (hence why sometimes I feel so violent about it), but I'm afraid the warrior queen seems to have vacated the premises. In her place is a frightened little girl. I'm honestly waiting for a third offense to occur so I can call him on it. Should I even be waiting? Maybe I *should* look at the dept. of labor to get a better handle on what I need to do with this situation. I love this job--it's generally low-stress, respectable pay, regular hours, agreeable people. All except this one dude (and maybe my boss, but I've decided she's a lunatic basket case anyways, and I pretty much ignore her unless she has an assignment for me). I sort of *need* this job anyways, since I'm in school, have bills, etc. and any hiccups in my paychecks will cause all kinds of stuff to go down the tubes. I can't afford to lose this job right now. I'm scared. @Froglehorn-- I'm reluctant to be litigious, and it's hard to catch him since he's in and out at irregular times. He doesn't work in the office. He's in the field. However, this IS stressing me out to the point of distraction. @ Printing Fool--- I totally like your idea, but alas, I'm married and my husband has never really been able to visit the office. It's too far out of his way, and it's not like he gets paid time off to do stuff like this. Plus, again, this dude comes in at irregular times and he's hard to catch. Besides--if I told my husband, he'd probably run his car into the ground to get here (or to whatever jobsite the dude works at) just so he could threaten to turn the guy into a pretzel if he so much as breathed in my direction. I'm trying to be discreet and deal with this on my own. My husband gets very angry when people don't maintain a respectful distance from me, or both to respect our marriage. My husband is a big, muscular, fast, super-fit guy with a 2nd degree black belt and a mean camel clutch. I don't doubt if the guy saw him (especially angry) he'd be more respectful. However, the timing is just rotten around here, and I'm pretty much on my own anyways. I may only have one ally I can really count on.... And that's one of our company VP's. He's squashed inappropriate talk towards me before, with vehemence. I hope I can trust him....

Posted by Sphincter Detector on 08/15/2011:
Be careful not to formally escalate this issue until you have made a legitimate attempt to address it directly with this man first.(Only if he is not your superior or unless you are unduly and causibly frightend of him). Takes a little courage, but it's the right thing to do, give the guy an opportunity to check his behavior and make a change before you try to get him fired or file a lawsuit against the company because the first thing a defense lawyer will do, or a company HR representative who is affraid of a lawsuit , is try to fault you for not vocalizing that there was ever a problem and possibly accuse you of exploiting and exaggerating the situation for personal gain. You do not want to be at the shitty end of that stick. Document the incidents and the dates, provide a verbal warning and document it, then provide a written email describing his behavior, include the dates of the incidents and firmly request the behavior to stop. Copy to yourself to your personal email address. If the situation persits, you are now positioned to escalate unchallenged with proper recourse.

Posted by Imbossy12 on 08/31/2011:
Like I tell people you have to understand where you work at and what comes with the environment. I once heard a girl that works at Hooters complain to her boss cause the guys were staring at her. Ok you work at hooters and your worried about that, thats why they make you wear that uniform to bring in guys. I am not saying that an environment gives certain oks but you have to ralize where you work at. You go tto be firm right from the get go so that the individual knows how you feel. Its like teasing someone cause you that gets mad, if they laugh it off usually they stop teasing you cause they know it doesnt bother you. If it continues tell your boss and see where it goes fromn there

Posted by tired of jerks at work on 02/08/2013:
just talk to him ....maybe he has no idea...just talk it out some guys dont know how a woman accepts things like that

Posted by HaveaDamnNiceDay on 06/12/2013:
@Imbossy: EXCUSE ME??? I work in an OFFICE. And no matter where a person works, that kind of thing is NOT ACCEPTABLE. However, girls who work at Hooters should not have any illusion as to why they have that job. They are there to be looked at. However, THAT IS WHY I DON'T WORK AT HOOTERS. I am a SUBJECT, NOT an object! And besides, no matter where you go, IT IS NOT OK TO RUN UP TO SOMEONE AND GRAB THEM OR TOUCH THEM WITHOUT AN INVITATION. That is a guaranteed ticket to getting a foot or fist in your eye. As for everyone else, I guess I needed to clarify that our company doesn't exactly have an HR to go to. I instead ended up going to one VP that I has watched my back in the past and looked out for me. I told him everything, starting from the leering and inappropriate comments to the times he touched me uninvited. As I explained my discomfort and fear, I also did my best to elaborate my fear of not having much control if I confronted the guy myself. Frankly, I know that if I ever did, I would have threatened him, and that wouldn't have been right either. I don't trust myself to *not* be violent when someone treats me like a thing. Anyhow, when I explained, I watched his face get stony, and start to turn redder and redder as I went on. He told me he'd handle it and that I didn't need to worry about it anymore. He apparently called the guy and tore him a new one. I have no idea what was said. The next day, that creepy dude came by my desk to level a hate stare at me when he handed me his timesheet (which was completely unnecessary, since we have a bin for those, and he just did it to get close). I know he was just trying to intimidate me, but it sort of worked. I kept a knife in my pocket at the ready for a few months and wouldn't go into the warehouse alone. I did tell the VP about that but I said that was all else the creep did. He hasn't bothered me since, but I know he still hates me. Frankly, IDGAF. He's never touched me since, thank goodness. If he ever did, I think instead of a fist or a foot he'd get my knife in his eye. Yes, I'm ok with being arrested after that. I have tolerated this kind of BS long enough.

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Incompetent AND Crazy! Written by seriouslystressed on 08/09/2011I have a coworker who was hired solely because of who she knows. We just happened to be the unlucky department with an open position. From day one she was over the top, unteachable, and completely disrespectful to us and how our department was run. She constantly felt the need to put me in my place, as it appears she couldn't handle a younger coworker who could run circles around her. We went through formal channels after it became unbearable...and nothing happened. We were basically told to deal with it. And when new management came in and she showed her crazy and her incompetence...nothing happened. She full on verbally attacked me in front of our entire department...and nothing happened. She couldn't complete the most basic of tasks and became overwhelmed with a less than normal workload...and we had to pick up the slack. After absolutely LOSING IT on our boss and continually acting like a child (this woman is beyond middle-aged), she is finally being held accountable. And what does she do? She is now having a family member harass my coworkers. Take your crazy somewhere else, you incompetent nutjob!!!Read 4 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by Sphincter Detector on 08/10/2011:
You hit the nail right on the head and there in lies the problem…if the woman is indeed a ‘nutjob’, it’s very hard to fire or terminate on that basis. Management may have been well aware of this woman’s personality and has observed her theatrics but needed time to document the incidents and be able to demonstrate a pattern of behavior in order to prove she is disruptive enough to be terminated ‘with cause’. These days it’s very difficult to terminate for plain old insubordination or for having an attitude problem. The only pure way to terminate without liability is to find a way to terminate based on performance( or lack of), which takes a few months to demonstrate properly which is why she got away with her behavior for so long. Otherwise the company open themselves up to a potential discrimination /wrongful dismissal lawsuit.

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDAy on 08/10/2011:
I don't know, it really depends on the employer, SD... Some will terminate for gross misconduct. Since the nutjob knows people in the company, they may be reluctant to get rid of her because they're simply cowards. To the poster: I totally feel for you and I'm sorry you have to endure such a basket case! May the nutjob gather enough rope to hang themselves and relieve you of your current miseries!

Posted by frogleghorn on 08/10/2011:
She sounded like my old greezy looking coworker of mine and when we told hire ups about her, they didn't want to believe us. Soon corporate found out about her and after four years of putting up with her, she's gone.

Posted by constipatethebull on 11/04/2011:
At least the manager is beyond middle age. Hold out until she retires or croaks. That's what I am waiting on at my work; waiting for all the poopie-crats in their 50s and 60s to die or retire so the good people in their 30s and 40s can take over the place. here here!

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Weird coworker and nasty office Written by Bgirl on 07/26/2011Anyone out there have this problem? This coworker of mine is foul. His office stinks and one day when he wasn't in, the other staff went into his office to look for work he was supposed to have done - and that's another rant.) What we found sickened and amazed us. There were dirty dishes, half filled coffee cups, open packages of food all over the place - even under the desk on the floor. There were huge black garbage bags in there filled with individual trash bags (kitchen trash can size) filled with garbage. And the trash can was overflowing. Most of it was food - fast food bags, lunch meat, etc. The mini fridge in his office was also filled with old nasty food. Crumbs and roaches all over the place. He's been here for a year. That's a year's worth of garbage in their. Read 4 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by econobiker on 07/27/2011:
Sounds like you have an office horder...

Posted by Bgirl on 07/28/2011:
It's confirmed. He must be a hoarder - he was told to clean the office immediately. He is currently running up and down the stairs and throwing his things, garbage and all, into his car. He's actually taking his garbage home, I guess.

Posted by Sphincter Detector on 07/28/2011:
If there were other items collecting in there rather than just garbage, I'd say he was a hoarder. However, it seems to me he might just be plain old fashioned dirty. Some people are regular slobs, too lazy to take out the garbage, too lazy to bend over and pick something up off the floor. The boss should be shown this mess and he should be directed to HR and referred for councilling or put on notice. Clean up or get out.

Posted by frogleghorn on 07/29/2011:
Wasn't he the least bit embarrassed about the filth in his office, that trifling bastard? Not only was his office dirty and he hordes junk, I bet he stinks real bad too.

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Backstabbing ladder climber Written by no weapon former against me- on 07/09/2011I started a job a month ago, new co-worker, same title, he started in right away with the mind games, his wife is a director in her company, he was hired before me, he is higher up on the organizational chart. I overlooked things, until management started to heavily promote him, at the meetings, slapping him on the back.the other thing is he is a local person, I had to relocate. He got in with the right leadership, all work is given to him. I am pretty much ignored. I have taken this to our boss, who tries to get the other managers to let me play, but my co-worker is now in the circle of trust.I am barely acknowledged. I am female, he is male. We both have 90 days to show and prove. I got so tired of his bullying remarks,"hey trouble" etc, that I created a document to show that I have something to offer,since I'm not given work to show what I can do. I am just collection a paycheck, until, what they try to can me in 90 days. Is there any advice?Read 3 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by frogleghorn on 07/11/2011:
That's happened at one of my previous jobs where they sat there promoting folks that had no god d*MN business promoting. What we did is when he/she gave an order and we knew it was not protocol but they sat there beating their breasts that it was their way or the highway and if another higher up seen we were doing something we weren't, we'd blame the supervisor that they shouldn't have promoted because they told us to. We do reverse psychology on higher ups that knew they had no business promoting someone by showing them their flaws and what they've done wasn't right.

Posted by labtech on 07/12/2011:
I am so sorry to tell you that you can't fight this. He has all the advantages. He has a spouse in management. She's trained him on the corporate politics, so he knows all the right people to kiss up to. That will always be more important. You need to fix up your resume, start looking for work right away, and work the job until they fire you. Try to stick it out until you can collect unemployment. Maybe you could try to find a special project to work on to delay your departure, something he can't do (or isn't willing to spend the time on to complete). It isn't fair. It isn't right. It's just the way the working world is today. And, unfortunately - complaining about it makes you a bigger target for firing.

Posted by Sphincter Detector on 07/15/2011:
Is it a competition between you and him, ie) at the end of 90 days are they going to chose one of you and let the other one go? If so, then he’s got you beat, facts o’life. Have you ever heard the term ‘fit’? Employers are placing equal importance these days a candidate’s personability and congeniality in order to determine if they will ‘fit’ in with the office dynamics. “ Joe Schmoozzer’s”got you beat, and it’s not because you’re a girl, it’s because he’s more confident, personable and extroverted and people are highly influenced by these types of personalities and management is no exception, they get sucked in just as easily. But don’t despair, these guys are often found selling cars later in life , sporting a beer paunch and a really bad combed over toupee because bullsh** only gets you so far in life. But, if it’s not a competition, try to develop your own office rapport both with him and others., start being miss friendly, bring in donuts just because.., ask the girls out for lunch, bring your boss a Crapachino out of the blue ..Try to fit in.

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There is a God? Written by BonusOnus on 06/22/2011I have this coworker. He's not a developer but an IT person, named "R". On an H1B visa from India. He was hired because he was friends with a higher up, not because of his skills.

Anyway, he manages up to his superiors but to us (his customers) or anyone else, he's rude, unhelpful, and curt. Basically, if you ask him for help on the VMWare server, he will respond by suggesting a solution, and then stating that you are an idiot and that you are wasting his time when he is so busy with all these other things he's doing.

I can tolerate him being curt if he was really preoccupied with work but he is lazy. He only works hard if a higher up gives him an important, time-sensitive task. I have overheard him tell his manager that he wouldn't work on requests given my developers, no matter how important they were, because he didn't feel like doing them. How professional.

He pissed off so many people and he didn't care because he thought he was protected by his friend in upper management.

Well, there was a re-organization. His friend left the company for another job. "R" was unprotected and got axed soon afterwards. He tried following his friend to a new job but the new company doesn't sponsor H1Bs.

So "R" scrambled for another job that would transfer his H1B sponsorship. But he burned bridges at my company and a few of my coworkers gave him bad references thru back channels (after all, this is a small valley).

He couldn't find work within 60 days. Guess what? He has to go back to India now because he can't get a new sponsor for his H1B. So last I heard, he was packing and moving back to India.

I guess sometimes you get what you deserve.
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Posted by foz on 07/09/2011:
what we learn from this article no matter the he person is higher or even he know some one upper he or she must treat other ppl in good way at work and be a helpful so it will come back in good way, really nothing in this life is going for ever.

Posted by Printing Fool on 07/12/2011:
Yes, there is a GOD! He got his just deserts! I just love to see cosmic justice in action, what goes around comes around, it might be a big circle, but circle it will.

Posted by wageslave on 10/29/2011:
I am not anti-Indian but nearly every gas station where I live is owned by Indians. Everyone working for them is Indian. The employees haven't been here long and I just wonder if everyone is here legally.

Posted by constipatethebull on 11/04/2011:
Watch out next time you call tech support, he will be on the other end. Glad he is our of our country anyway. There are too many good people with no job right not for ANY incompetence from ANYONE to be tolerated. That's spoken from the logical generation which I guess we have lost our power in the workplace now too so what do I know!?

Posted by wageslave on 11/09/2011:
Bonus there is both God and Karma. When I was younger if people would do me wrong I would tear into them, now I just sit around and wait.

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Is there a God? Written by Workerella on 06/21/2011I've just about had it in my office! My coworker is driving me insane and I'm just about ready to be committed! It's bad enough that she does the most minimal amount work she can get away with but the fact that she screws up procedures and tasks to the point that myself and others on my team have to clean up her mistakes is infuriating! I don't think she even works at all by amount of time she spends away from the department!

To make matters worse, my coworker feels the need to micromanage everyone even though we have a manager and she is on equal footing with the rest of us. She's inconsiderate delegating labor intensive tasks to even other members of the team because she's too lazy to complete them herself. One of whom is pregnant I might add! It would be nice to show some compassion for once.

Let's be honest, the only way she got this position is because she is best friends with our manager and could do no wrong in his eyes. In short, she is not a team player but a large waste of space and I'm waiting for the day karma gets her in the end!
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Posted by Sphincter Detector on 06/23/2011:
If you're waiting for Kharma to kick in, you might be waiting for a long time. Kharma's a discriminating bitch and doesn't always punish the unrighteous. You need to do this yourself. Try to find ways to make your collegue's absences visible.. ie) book meetings with her and management during her standard 'MIA' periods, or casually suggest to a manager to walk over and ask her about the project status.. you get the point? And next time she tries to micromange you, tell her strait up.."Thanks for the direction but I think you need to spend more time focusing on your own tasks instead of directing mine? Have you fiished the blah blah blah report yet? Intelligent confrontation rarely leads to termination.

Posted by Printing Fool on 07/06/2011:
Everyone ought to get real busy with their own work and put hers on the back burner. Quit covering up for her and let her fall on her own face, over and over again if need be. I've done it before, it works.

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The Job Would Be Great If It Wasn't For the Coworker Written by nullefide on 06/20/2011I work in a VERY small law firm. When I was hired it was me and two other ladies and the attorney we worked for. After a year, both of them left and soon it was just me and the attorney. This was not a big deal, there really isn't much consistent work to do and even the really crazy busy days are easy enough to handle by myself.

Well, about 8 months of doing this all on my own, an old employee moved back into the country and the boss hired her back on. She'd worked with him for about 15 years before she left the country, so she and the boss were pretty close friends. Soon after she got hired, though, I could tell she was going to be a problem. She constantly gave me her filing to do even though the boss was pretty specific about her not being my boss. She never answered the phones, she came into the office and left whenever she pleased, she talked on her cellphone all the time, she would start complicated and long projects halfway and then give them to me to finish, and she never clocked out for lunches (lunches which the boss paid for and which usually took at least 2 hours).

I let this slide, for the most part. I'm fairly young and she's much older and more experienced in the office so I felt too inexperienced to address it. Plus, she and the boss are BFFs, how am I supposed to complain about her behavior to him. That, of course, all changed one morning when she came into work, walked right into my office and proceeded to rip me a new one for about 15 minutes. Full out yelling, telling me I'm stealing money because I surf the net a little on my down time, going on about how filthy and dirty I am because I don't clean the bathroom often (for which we have no cleaning supplies, don't know how I'm supposed to clean it) or vacuum every day (I was not hired to be the maid, I'm sorry, I'll vacuum when I have time), how apparently rude and bitchy I am to her, how little work I do and how awful the work I do is. Basically it was 15 minutes of her yelling at me for my apparently being a horrible, slack off employee, something which my boss has never once even hinted to me.

The office has never been the same for me since. Her constant presence puts such a negative vibe throughout my whole day. I did speak with the boss about her behavior, but it got me nothing more than a half-assed "truce" with my coworker when all I really wanted was for her to apologize for being such a bitch to me. I actually long for her month long vacations and the hours she spends out of the office (which she still does on company time). She is supposed to be leaving the country again permanently, but it was supposed to be in June or July and it's already almost the end of June and she doesn't seem to be getting ready to leave the office. She did take the opportunity to throw a bunch of her work on my desk without any explanation on what does or doesn't need to be done on it, which has really been a joy for me to deal with. I'm beginning to fear that she isn't actually going to leave despite my boss and her saying she was. I keep looking for new work and applying for jobs, but the worst part is I actually get paid pretty well here, and more than likely if I get another job I'll have to deal with a fairly significant pay decrease.

I'm at a loss. I feel like I get no respect in the office despite being the corner-stone for the entire firm. I've been here almost 3 years now, and with no sign of the office workload (which is minimal to none on most days) or politics changing and absolutely no chance for promotion (hard to be promoted with you're only one of two employees) I'm pretty desperate to leave. The emotional stress alone feels like too much on most days. Even now, almost a year after the incident, I worry whether or not my coworker is going to come into my office and yell at me again, despite our "truce." Or whether during her and the boss's long lunches (or "lunches") she'll convince him of just how horrible an employee I apparently am and he'll fire me.

I'm hoping she really is leaving because if she isn't I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it...
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Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 06/20/2011:
What you have here is a classic insecurity case. Dollars to donuts, she's banging the boss, and feels inferior to you because you get stuff done and all she does is lay on her back at lunchtime. She is intimidated by your smarts, work ethic and honesty. In fact, you are making her more than aware of her own shortcomings, and because she is feeling convicted, she is lashing out at you to draw attention away from herself. Animals that are afraid or intimidated will puff up or raise hackles to show how scary they are. That's all she's doing. And yes, it *could* cost you your job, if you continue to tolerate the abuse. Your silence is permission for her to keep at you. Be prepared to make a getaway. She will find a way to get rid of you. Don't give her the pleasure. I've always said to people, I'd rather be happy than well-paid. Keep your chin up and keep searching for a job where you'll be respected and valued, even if you aren't paid a lot. I had a job I probably would have kept if the pay had been more, but I still regret leaving, because my boss treated me extremely well, was patient with me during my learning phase and was generally good-tempered and good-natured. He couldn't afford to pay me a whole lot, and didn't need me for a whole work week, but he was the coolest guy. When I think of awesome bosses, I think of him. Just remember this: Once you've left, Ms. Inferiority Complex will be exposed as the useless blowup doll she is, and then she'll get sh!t-canned. Heck, the boss may even miss you and ask you to come back. Buuuut...don't hold your breath.

Posted by Sphincter Detector on 06/24/2011:
Agreed- she's banging the boss which is why he offered a truce instead of fire you. Normally in this situation, he'd call you both in but he can't do that since she's got him by the nuts literally. No worries, he'l be done with her soon enough.. never ever saw one of these things end in a marriage yet.. In the mean time, the fact that he didn't fire you and offered a truce tells me he's not prepared to pick sides right now and at the least to fire you for her, so you've got some slack, don't be afraid to tell her to back off. Classic response 'Whoah, back up.. not sure what's got you in a tizzy this morning , but I'd appreciate it if you checked your tone and qualified your remarks before spewing out nonsense. You're embarrasing yourself. Come back and talk to me when you start making sense" , get up and leave.

Posted by anonymous on 06/24/2011:
should Hadn't and Sphincters observations be correct and i am sure they are, keep your resume up to date. stay informed about job opening, just in case. if she does not leave they will get tired of paying for a room. i've seen several businesses slide into bankruptcy after the boss and one employee sat up sloppy housekeeping at the office. so be prepared to jump ship before it sinks.

Posted by Printing Fool on 06/30/2011:
Ok, didn't post this right so I'll have to type it out all over again, but I feel for you so I don't mind. I have known these types of co workers who come off as being a boss and you have to wonder "who in the hell are you?" The first time she dumped her work on your desk you should have put her in her place and just stated that you'll have to check with the boss if this was acceptable on top of your own work load. If you are doing twice the amount of work, you should get compensated! I would do my job with excellence, but I would take my time with her work. Order pizza, call into talk shows, etc.. In other words give yourself a raise by racking up some overtime. Your employer will have to decide if she is worth the hit to his wallet. If not, one of you has to go, usually the one not doing the work. If he decides and doesn't care what she is costing him, cool, your earning potential has risen dramatically! He can't have his cake and eat it too, it has got to cost him to allow this unfairness to continue. Good luck! I'm on your side. You have to teach people how to treat you, you won't get respect otherwise.

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Grow up!! Written by Hooligan on 05/05/2011Dear co-worker,

You & your ex broke up over 3 years ago and you went on to date another guy for a year, which sadly did not work out. So it shouldn't be so devastating to find out that the ex is also dating someone new. You moved on, why shouldn't he? Okay, and then you find out he's having a baby with her, that truly sucks... but remember you left him because after 10 years he didn't want to marry you and you fought incessantly every minute of every day.

I've tried to sympathize & empathize with you because I've been in the almost exact same boat as you but let's be realistic now. You are working in a corporate office environment. I have to sit next to you every single day & have spent the last 5+ years listening to your LOUD and annoying personal phone calls that add up to a total of at least 5 hours per day. You are feeling sad & I get that, but please do not mope around the office every day giving me the "feel bad for me" face. Please do not call out "sick" or leave work early because you aren't mature enough to put your personal issues aside & function at work like an adult. Grow up!!

Lastly, if speaking to either of your exes always makes you feel crappy, STOP calling them or taking their phone calls! And if you must torture yourself by talking to them, please do not torture me in return with your inappropriate & unprofessional work ethics.

~At Wits End Annoyed....
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Posted by Printing Fool on 07/13/2011:
Yikes! Would not be able to work with someone like this for any length of time without weirding out! You are mentally stronger than I, you must have the patience of Job!!!! You cannot help this kind of person because they are determined to be miserable so the best you can do is tune them out and tend to your work. Of course if she gets overly dramatic you could turn it into a joke and clap like she's winning the Academy Award! But it's usually best not to continually comfort these type of individuals, don't even ask them how they are. If she asks you what you think, tell her, time to end the drama, move on. It's getting old. Sometimes honesty is the best policy.

Posted by dontask on 07/15/2011:
Give your honest opinion as tactful as possible. She is stuck in a bad place and needs help, stop enabling her! Her behavior is damaging you and others in the office, never mind what she is doing to everyone's job performance. Depression is contagious. Suggest that she see someone more qualified in helping her. Let's hope your health insurance can cover a few visits to a mental health professional.

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Nitpickers...argh Written by Amethystmoon on 04/28/2011I have a coworker who has recently started to nitpick everything I do. It's like she is looking deliberately for something I did wrong to make me look bad. The funny part is, she is not even my boss.

The other day, I was following my boss's instructions and she decided I was "wrong" and went and undid everything I did in the database. Then she couldn't figure out why I was annoyed with her, and actually yelled at me for having said anything at all to her. So now I'm not allowed to talk to her?!

I don't get paid enough for this kind of stress!
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Posted by Printing Fool on 05/01/2011:
If she is not your boss or your supervisor I wouldn't let her undo your work! I never knew what the deal was with co workers acting like they are your boss when they ARE NOT! I have come across these types before too, they are people who have some control issues. Also if she feels threated by you in any way she may try to mess up your work, something to ponder on. I don't, and never did trust anyone who comes off as having rank over me at work who clearly doesn't . Be careful, she may seem like a nice person, she may seem to be on your side, but I would take direction from your boss not from her. If this gets to be more of a problem by all means ask your boss for an honest critique of your work and if your coworker's input is an advantage for you. Just lay the cards on the table, be forth right, get a handle on what is really going on.

Posted by Wage Slave on 05/01/2011:
You have to let your boss know what she did. She may be trying to sabatoge you. We had a lazy tattletale in our office. He told on me when I was brand new. Eventually they realized he was a lazy sue happy waste, but it took years. They forced him out thank goodness.

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Where's my miracle? Written by Wage Slave on 03/23/2011Our office waste case was promoted. He has manipulated the inventory to danger levels. Working inventory is a collateral duty and a perk. He made sure I was not allowed to work inventory. When I worked inventory there was no overtime because deadlines were always met. He is an overtime junkie.

Our old manager knew I was the MOST productive worker and made sure I always worked inventory. Our old manager retired and a fill in manager was appointed. The fill-in-manager is overwhelmed so she does not know what's what. I think she is being advised by the waste case's friends.

Part of me thinks pull the fill-in manager aside and say, "the waste case is sabatoging productivity." He's napping in the conference room everyday, he's sending vicious e-mails and jokes instead of working, he appointed people that bs, mill around and don't work.

I don't want a reputation as a tattletale. His immediate supervisor is the sole support for a family of four. I know the way our office works, the wastecase's immediate supervisor will get in as much trouble as the wastecase. I even contemplated an anonymous note saying go to the conference room at his nap time and see how much work is being done.

The economy is bad and they keep threatening us with lay offs.


I am hoping for a miracle. I am hoping some bean counter, comes out of the woodwork, looks at last years statistics and compares them with this years statistics. I thought that's what bean counters do.
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Posted by HelgasOfficePolitics on 03/26/2011:
What goes around comes around. It doesn't always happen as quickly as we'd like, but their day WILL come. Don't waste your breath tattling because your superiors will probably only look down on you for it, even though you speak truth. Try to focus on your tasks and let nature take its course with the loser in your office. Keep up the good work :)

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Even Kids On The Short Bus Act Smarter Than You! Written by frogleghorn on 03/20/2011As many of you know many stadiums, ballparks, and arena's rely on food service contractors to run the kitchens, concession stands, and suites inside of them. I used to work at a ballpark and each year they hire the dumbest idiots you can think of, but this one employee took the cake. She was so stupid, I don't even know how she got passed the hiring process. Here is a list of all the off the hook things she's done:
1.) She lied about going to culinary school. According to her, she went to a vocational high school where she claimed they taught culinary arts. The kicker part is, during the time she was there, they did not have the program available until after she graduated. To make matters worse, she did not know anything about cooking, food safety (except for what our company told her during training), how to expedite food, etc. She was so kitchen clumsy that when I told her not to carry the knife by the blade, she wouldn't listen to me until our supervisor had to tell her the same thing I told her. She went to "culinary school" and you would think she learned something about proper knife handling.
2.) She does not listen. I understand that everyone is supposed to listen to supervisors and managers, but if I were a newbie, I'd also would take into consideration as to what a more seasoned employee might say because they know more about the job than me. She will absolutely not listen to nobody unless its a higher up. We would try to tell her things and no matter how many times we had to tell or yell at her to do something, she wouldn't listen, then she would screw up severely to the point where she throws everyone off, and then the supervisor or manager has to go in and tell her to do it. Then she would get pissed because she didn't listen to us.
3.) This fool cannot cook. For example, she would not put seasoning into taco meat, overcook her food to the point where one customer chipped a tooth on her food, she gets a lot of kickbacks, and she always backs up the kitchen. There was another incident where she messed up the pizzas. Any idiot knows to make sure your food needs to be prepped before food service starts and she didn't. On top of that, any idiot knows you have to bake pizzas at 450° for 10 minutes. She sat there prepping pizzas one at a time, putting it in one at a time, and baking them at 350° for 45 minutes. We kept on telling her to raise the temp and bake off 20 at a time and she wouldn't listen. To make her learn her lesson about not listening, our supervisor just let her do her own thing and all of us finally left her alone too. She got sooo far behind in the pizzas that customers were calling the kitchen fussing about the 4 hour wait on the pizzas. All the pizzas she did manage to cook off were all kicked back (50 total kickbacks) because she decided to bake ir at 350 and the center was still raw. Finally, when it was time for us to go and shut down the kitchen, we couldn't. We had to help her and bail her out. We had to make 120 pizzas for her. Then she tried to blame me for her mess up, but I was not on pizzas that day. Since then our sous chef never put her back on pizzas and no one else has either.
4.) Nothing was ever her fault. When she messed up she either blamed someone else or try to divert the blame.
5.) She would sit there gossiping about people, but when she gossips about something, she puts her own twist to it. Her gossiping got so bad that she nearly cost someone their jobs, almost caused someone to get yelled at, and she nearly got herself suspended because she sat there talking about a supervisor that wasn't true and was not ment to be heard by anyone.
6.) She is lazy, slow, and cheats the clock. She would purposely go slow on work to put more work on us. It doesn't take you 6 hours to do something that takes others 2 hours to do.She's been caught eating when she was supposed to be doing inventory. Then she would cheat the clock. Everyone was wondering why it was taking her so long to do a task until one day someone caught her goofing around and giving blow jobs to several employees. She would move so slowly with making her food, they would spoil on her table from the 120° heat in the kitchen. Then she would try sending them out anyway, but they would get kicked back to the kitchen.
7.) This girl is dumb as a door knob. This one day, everyone but her was scheduled to come in at 9. She had to come in at 7. We had a gas leak in the kitchen. From the time she came in until we got there, this fool was not phased that gas was leaking all around her. She put a lot of people into danger. For 2 hours, she told no one of the gas leak and was casually working in the kitchen with the gas building up all around her. When we got there, you can smell the gas all around and we were the ones who had to notify someone about it.
8.) There is something mentally wrong with her too. Her boyfriend forced himself on top of a coworker and didn't even offer an apology to the person he done that too. After the incident, she allowed him back into the house when he was released and mind you, they have a kid in the house. Now she's pregnant again by her pervert boyfriend.
9.) She takes credit for work she's never done. What she done was have everyone do the work, and when a higher up comes, she retrieves the items and they would thank her for all her "hard work".
10.) She likes to play supervisor but that's not her title. She would try ordering people around and when they listen to her, she winds up getting everyone in trouble or she would mess the flow up in the kitchen. She's even been cursed out by our own supervisors because she overstepped her boundaries.
11.) She sat there using computers she had no right using. Our computers are only ment to be used by supervisors, managers, or executives. She knew this and took it upon herself to get on them. She got the passwords from a supervisor that was fired. She would go on and order all this garbage from Sysco. She would either over order products or order things they don't need or no longer use. She finally was thrown off of it, but the damage was done. She got the company $15,000 in the hole from ordering from Sysco and she cost a few people their jobs from it.

To this day she still has her job. I don't know how and why, but if I done the same things she done, I would have been fired. It doesn't help that our oblivious sous chef thinks she's doing a good job. I wish someone up in there would open their eyes and see what she does.
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Posted by Amethystmoon on 04/28/2011:
Wow. I don't understand why someone who personally cost your company $15,000 has not been fired. Is she maybe related to a higher up?

Posted by frogleghorn on 05/11/2011:
No, she's just an average Joe worker with no relations to nobody. To this day, we still don't know why she's there.

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 06/02/2011:
It's easy to see why she's still there! She's 'servicing' everyone in the kitchen! I'll bet you everyone that turns a blind eye to her mistakes have probably been 'serviced' by her at one point or another!

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Ice Princess to me but not to others Written by HelgasOfficePolitics on 03/02/2011I'm not a whiner or a drama queen and mostly keep my discontent bottled up inside, but I'm electing to express my frustrations here in the hope of finding some sort of relief... please, God!

For several months "Aggie" (short for AGGRAVATION) has been Miss Ice Princess towards me and my boss, but is Jolly Judy toward everyone else. What's puzzling is that I've done nothing to this person. I let it roll off of me when she first began acting this way toward me and continued to treat her as I'd always done: greeting her and smiling in passing. After a while I got sick of it and decided that I was finished being polite to someone that didn't reciprocate, so I don't give her a second of my time: no greetings, no glances, no smiles. Finito!

I suspect that she's upset with my boss and I for not allowing her slacker co worker friend to transfer to a position that works closely with hers. "Slacker" misses work all the time, is on the virge of getting fired, and would not be a good fit for this very demanding position that is vital to our daily operations. Apparently Slacker has Aggie fooled as to her actual levels of productivity & dedication.

I have no desire to speak to Aggie or to smooth things out, however I do speak to her if necessary for work related issues, but that's not often. I'm a no-nonsense gal and don't have time for such pettiness.

If there's others out there who work with their own "Aggie" just know that you're not alone. Thanks for allowing me to vent, Jobschmob.
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Posted by hammnahammna on 03/15/2011:
"Apparantly Slacker has Aggie fooled as to her actual levels of productivity & dedication." Just know that you are not alone and I see this all the time too. I cannot believe what others don't notice.

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Slacker central Written by hammnahammna on 02/28/2011I work in an area of cubicles. There are blocks of 4 cubicles that are connected in the middle. I have a coworker who consistently comes in late and leaves early. I sit right across from this fellow. No one else seems to notice. He takes at least 4 20 minute cigarette breaks a day, in addition to a full hour lunch. Out of an 8 hour day he may be at his desk for 4 hours if you are lucky. This person borrows ibuprofen from me daily, 5 minutes away is a sprawl-mart and for a few dollars he could get his own. I took just about all of the ibuprofen out of the container today and gave him what was left, "here, take it all".

It is nothing for this person to stop what he is doing and talk about either politics or his kid for many minutes. This is a distraction to everyone around.

It is unfortunate no one else notices these things.
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Posted by Wage Slave on 03/01/2011:
I really understand your frustration. If he were in my office they would promote him. Our biggest waste case was promoted to a lead position. Everyday at 11:30 he takes a nap in an empty cube or conference room. Meanwhile if the rest of us are a minute late we are counseled. I can't stand tattletales so I won't do anything about him. I really want to have him busted and fired.

Posted by hammnahammna on 03/01/2011:
Thanks for commiserating Wage Slave. I agree with everything you say. He will probably be promoted. I too have learned that tattling does not work.

Posted by HelgasOfficePolitics on 03/01/2011:
Your cubicle neighbor sounds exactly like one of my co workers, except for the gender!! I can't believe there's another one out there! Tattling does NOT work as multiple people in my office have addressed the issues with management for the past TWO YEARS. Morale went out the window long ago. I keep my nose to the grindstone and pray for the day when I can quit my full time job to work part time in a different office. I feel your pain.

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Hellish Hostesses Written by on 02/21/2011Oh gosh. Where do I begin? For starters, I've been working as a Hostess since January 30th of this year. Now, I must admit that I am still having issues with my job description but it is not helping when hostesses and servers are breathing down my neck about how I should do my job right. Rule of thumb: Give someone space to figure out how they can handle their job. Don't watch them and critique every little detail about my job. My other two hostesses were great trainers for me. Ever since my second week of working one or both of them have been ALWAYS asking me to take their shifts. Tell me something?? Is it really my responsibility to take your shifts all the time? If you are schedule that day to work and always asking someone else to do your job, then why do you have a job? One Hostess has been working there for two years and is a senior in high school. She should have known that because she so "popular" in school then she should have known in advance on how to manage her time. I went to high school and right after school, I went to work. Did I bitch about it? Yes. But did I beg others to work for me instead? F**k no. Then, the other server is not in school. Why the hell I am covering her shifts if she's not doing anything? Boyfriends can wait. Friends understand. But Jesus Christ! I go to college full time, and work weekends, like the schedule says. Do I look like I have all the time in the world to sit around and Facebook? Hell no. Does anyone have any suggestions as to handle this without any violence...because I'm so ready to shake these girls to death!Read 2 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by Ladyk1987 on 02/22/2011:
Girl ! Im with you... I have the same problem except I hurt my wrist and was put in a splint and they got mad at me cuz I was hurt. My bf made a good point by saying kill em with kindness. But in your case, id tell them you have too muchgoing on

Posted by Whatever on 03/06/2011:
Here's a thought. When someone asks you to work an extra shift, say no. Pretty simple word, really. Or, you can whine and play the victim.

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TAKING ADVANTAGE Written by UNREASONABLE? on 02/08/2011My coworker is a very nice person, but not a very productive worker. Anytime someone walks in the office (which is often), she stops working, puts her hands behind her head and starts talking. And then has the gull to put in overtime hours on the weekend because she can't get her work done! I wouldn't care so much, but many of my job functions rely on her getting her work done. This drives me crazy, but my question to all that might read this is this. What do you think of a person taking a whole week off to 'watch' their 18 year old son because he had his tonsils out? Keep in mind this person has no vacation time due and is behind in bills.Read 1 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by slave on 02/20/2011:
wow what a joke to be acting like a slacker in this economy when so many would be willing to do her job right!

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I just can't believe it. Written by Wage Slave on 01/27/2011My office just promoted the laziest guy in our whole department. This guy has taken an extra 1 hour lunch where he reads the paper or sleeps in an empty cube. This hasgone on since I have known him. He has done more to sabatoge productivity than anyone I know. He would manipulate inventory so it would pile up and management would offer overtime.

Instead of working he sends out silly or malicious e-mails. He tortured a lowly clerk until she transferred to another department and still sends her e-mails making fun of her.

I wonder why no one is paying attention.

A friend of mine who taught and even wrote training material was not promoted to this position but they picked this waste case. I am really tired of being the only one that knows the emperor isn't wearing any clothes. I just want to drown myself in work so I don't notice anything that is going on.
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Posted by Wage Slave on 02/12/2011:
This schmuck personally slowed down production so much it was a crisis situation. Our crack management team offered him and only him overtime. My bosses really deserve to be screwed over. They treat him like he walks on water and they treat the rest of us like crap.

Posted by labtech on 02/15/2011:
Just wait. In a year or so, he'll become the worst micromanaging boss you can imagine, because all of his duties will be shuffled off to the other employees, and he'll be responsible only for checking up...and checking up...and finding a typo and chasing you around the building over it, threatening to write you up, for a typo........

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Need Ideas for Great Office Pranks Written by Jennyfrom the block on 01/24/2011Look - there is this stupid fat lying b.... that I work with - she is part time, actually, and I'm full time - so I have more time to play some pranks. I need some really creative ideas. I'm looking for pranks that won't get her physically hurt or damage any office equipment. I'm looking for embarrassing and humiliating and aggravating to clean up. For her to clean up - not me. It needs to be sneaky - I don't want to get caught - where's the fun in that? And after what she's put me through for the last 8 years I deserve some fun!Read 5 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by econobiker on 01/25/2011:
Fill desk drawers with styrofoam packing peanuts. Glue the center of each post-it note to the next one so none of them come off- or skip a couple between glued ones. One week raise her office chair when she leaves for the day then the next week lower her office chair each day. Rotate her computer screen 90 degrees or 180 degrees. Change the language for her pc to some off the wall language. Change regular sounds for her use of the pc to something wacky- like a duck quacking.Claim that she changed a setting to do it when these things have to be "fixed".

Posted by sphincter detector on 01/31/2011:
Before I give you my Revenge Prank.. I will prelude with "Blah blah blah, you shouldn't pull pranks in the office.. blah blah blah, just tell her how you feel and try to address it professionally. Blah blah blah." OK, now that I've covered that. Here's what you do. Open up her phone, place a piece of tape over the mouth speaker.. close the phone back up. Everytime she answers the phone, people will ask her to speak up.. and she'll end up yelling or talking very loud to be heard. In a few days, do it again, except remove the tape from the mouth and place it on the ear peice. Keep alternating every few days. Prank #2. Place some cookie crumbs on the floor near her desk and on her desk around her keyboard. Place an empty coffee cup beside her mouse, make sure you spill a little so it leaves a ring and a spill stain, leave a bitten cookie beside the cup. Make her think someone was working at her desk over the weekend.. or the boss with think she's a total slob. You need to have a really good poker face to pull this one off tho.. and it has to be a big office.

Posted by jennyfromtheblock on 02/09/2011:
Thanks! I'm going to try these!

Posted by Whatever on 03/06/2011:
How about acting like an adult? Is that even possible?

Posted by hammnahammna on 03/15/2011:
If she is using a computer, take a snap shot of her desktop. Then delete all her desktop icons and set the background of her computer to the snapshot. She will try to click the icons and nothing will happen. She will look like a goof.

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CPE Written by Wage Slave on 12/07/2010I dread going to work today. I have continuing professional eduacation today. Two overaged juvenile delinquents are in the class. They are social bullies but they have political pull so there will be no repercussions for their bad behavior. I generally like my job but I can't stand these two. I only wish they would do something so heinous they'd get sued and fired.Read 1 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by Wage Slave on 12/26/2010:
All that dread over nothing neither 1 of those LOSERS were in the class that day. I can't believe I put myself through this. I didn't even sleep the night before. It's high time for New Years' resolutions; I will not let A--holes control my mood. Lets see how long that will last.

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sales associate Written by rodeogirl41 on 11/23/2010working retail in my area seems to be the only job a person can get for minimum wage and having worked this particular job for the last few years I must say I have met the co-workers from hell. one (assistant mgr) decided to try to be my friend on Facebook and when I would not friend her she decided to act like a high school kid and pull a "I don't like you because you don't like me." a grown woman acting like a spoiled child, please grow up. another co-worker announces she hates her job and puts in for time off at the last minute because her boyfriend just turned 21 and they plan ongoing out and getting drunk. which puts me, who requested the weekend off 3 months ago in a pickle because now I have to be on call for a day that was requested off months ago because a coworker has decided she is not going to work her shift because its much more important to go out and get drunk. then she wonders why she is never on the schedule.Read 1 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by Sphincter Detector on 11/24/2010:
What would have happened if you adamantly said, I'm sorry I really can't come in this weekend or be on call beause I will be out of think the boss would have fired you? Not likely. Little Miss Partypants would have had her time off rejected. But so long as you pick up the slack because you're afraid to say no thinking it's a reflectionof you, then you will always be the doormat. Tell that little shit if she pulls a stunt like that again, you'll make sure you come down with a sudden flu on her birthday!

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Am I wrong? Written by wage slave on 11/19/2010I really want to know the TRUTH. Am I wrong?

Please keep in mind I am situated in the middle of a cube farm. 1 month ago a handicapped girl was in the process of being hired. They tested her in an adjoining coworker's cubicle because he had the same kind of equipment and blindness disability. My boss advised me she was going to be tested and that I would be moved for that day so I would not disturb her and she would not disturb me.

This same girl needed to be retested this past Wednesday. My boss did not tell me I had to be moved or any details of the testing. I was oblivious. I went on a smoke break went to the restroom and another coworker asked me where I had gone. So I told her where I went. The handicapped coworker that regularly sits in the adjoining cube came over and told me I was being rude for talking while someone was being tested. So I said "Sorry" and then I shut up. That should have been the end of it but that wasn't enough for him after I had said "Sorry" he had to end it by saying "There is such a thing as Etiquette."

The kicker is I felt bad and went up to the girl after the test said "Geez I'm sorry I disturbed you I didn't know you were being tested." She told me, "Oh I didn't hear you, they had me wearing earphones and all I could hear was the test."

This is a no win situation for me. I want to tell Mr Manners the following; A) I didn't know she was being tested. B) If you think the testing area was inadequate you should have told the proctors. C) You aren't the Manners Police. D) Mind your own business because I am the most civilized person in this place. E) Get your facts straight before you criticize me. F) You owe me an apology.

I am irritated by this. I know I should let this go. In my job management constanty criticizes all of us over meaningless nit-picky mistakes. We are constantly on our toes trying to be perfect. I know I need to get out of this place but I have a family and the money is almost enough to live on.

Should I clear the air or attempt to forget it risking blowing up later. I really don't want to be the girl-who- is-so mean-she-yelled-at-a-blind-guy.
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Posted by bookwoman on 11/22/2010:
Honestly, I do not think you are wrong. That being said, I also think this is one of those things that might be best let go of. It sounds like the disabled man in the next cubicle is a little too tightly wound, which is a problem for him and an irritation for you - so, worse for him than for you. Coming back to him with a somewhat smart remark might not solve anything but could start further antagonism from him. If you were to actually say anything to him, I would suggest simply being honest. Tell him he hurt your feelings, explain what actually happened, and leave it all with the basic "hope we can move on" attitude. Good luck. Work frustration can be such a pain, I know!

Posted by Wage Slave on 11/23/2010:
I took your advice and let it go. I didn't aproach him about it because now it seems silly. I'm trying to act like a grown up and let things go. Thanks for the good advice. Have a nice holiday.

Posted by Spincter Detector on 11/24/2010:
What's the worst that could have happened if you told this fella to mind his own business, go sit down and do his work. He's not your boss, you're not his, you're collegues. Disabled has nothing to do with it except it has clearly prevented you from speaking to him the way you would have spoken to any one else under the circumstances. Yeah, he would have had a spaz, just like anyone else but there's nothing fireable in your statement and this gets chalked up to a little interoffice squabble. No biggie . Of course there's always the risk that this escalates into a HR issue but that's the chance you take. You have to know your office dynamic before getting too brave in these types of circumstances. I don't advocate being confrontational, but I make every disinction between confronting bad behavior and being 'confrontational'.. two different things. People cannot be allowed to abuse PCness to sheild themselves from the ramifications of bad behavior.

Posted by Wage Slave on 12/26/2010:
I shouldn't have done it but I was passive aggressive. Only speaking to him when spoken to.

Posted by wageslave on 01/07/2012:
I was passive aggressive but it worked. I used to bring him treats like candy. I stopped that and he questioned me. I told him I didn't like being told to shut up. He never even apologized even though I made it clear I didn't like his behavior. Now he can go hungry.

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I stumbled on this and thought it interesting... Written by HaveADamnNiceDay on 10/21/2010

This article from CNN describes different types of people you might work with. However, they REALLY left out a LOT. I really do wish they had the guts to call it a duck when it's really a duck, instead of dancing daintily around the issue and trying to put a positive spin on things. Makes me sorta sick that folks like this are out there (writing this kind of crap).
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Posted by dontask on 10/25/2010:
I searched for the article - too late. It cuts off after the caption for VICTIM. Anyway not one of these advice columns ever give beneficial advice to employees. The so called advice is always slanted towards management/ employers opinions, after all they pay for the ads and their money is more important than journalistic freedom.

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 10/26/2010:
Ok, well here's the article. I agree that these guys are paying for these articles. I think we need to make our own workplace survival guide.... >:D ( -- Love them or hate them, you still have to work with them. Here are some common types of co-workers and suggestions on how to make the most of your time together. The relic He's been around longer than the office furniture and is a walking encyclopedia of company history. His idea of a modern convenience is an electric typewriter, so don't bother leaving messages in the voice mailbox he never activated. Keys to dealing with this co-worker include respect and patience. "Consider that your 'relic' has managed to survive layoffs and downturns and may have a leg up on the rest of us in terms of understanding life on the job," says Elizabeth Freedman, author of "Work 101: Learning the Ropes of the Workplace without Hanging Yourself" and "The MBA Student's Job-Seeking Bible." Also realize that behind the grumblings may be someone who just doesn't understand the latest technology. While he may be slow to accept help from a "young whippersnapper," kindly offering assistance without being condescending may do the trick. True tales from work: I fell into this career but I love it The soap opera star His car breaks down before big presentations, and he's sure his wife is having an affair. He laments about his daughter's new boyfriend, and he wants to know if you think the mole on his neck is getting bigger. Although this scenario might sound humorous, Kathi Elster, co-author of "Working for You Isn't Working for Me" and "Working with You Is Killing Me," notes that these co-workers can be frustrating. "They solicit your help, but they never take your advice because underneath it all they don't want to get better, they only want to take." She suggests sticking to facts when dealing with them and not getting caught up in the drama. Likewise, Freedman recommends redirecting the conversation with a diplomatic phrase such as, "Jean, I'm sure you have friends who are more qualified than me to talk about stuff like that" -- and then quickly moving on to another topic. The wallflower She eats lunch at her desk and arrives and leaves each day with barely a hello or good-bye. She diligently attends every meeting, but you can't recall her ever saying anything. Elster notes that wallflowers "tend to be excellent workers because they do their jobs, but they never move ahead because they do not advocate for themselves." To get along with one, be considerate and pull your weight. A sincere compliment, especially around others, may help draw the person out of her shell. Overworked or challenged at your job? The victim He complains that he always gets stuck with the difficult clients and that someone keeps stealing his stapler. Every decision, from installing a new computer system to switching coffee brands in the lounge, is a sign that management or a fellow employee is trying to make his life miserable. "The victim feels everyone is out to get him," says Roberta Chinsky Matuson, president of Human Resource Solutions in Northampton, Mass. To deal with one, she suggests letting him spout off to get things off his mind, "then quickly changing the subject so you can get back on track." The hot head and the brooder He's ready to "kill the messenger" when a meeting is bumped up an hour. She rolls her eyes when asked to correct a report. He'll tell anyone (usually quite loudly) exactly what is on his mind. She, on the other hand, prefers playing passive-aggressive games and could still be brooding about that time you accidentally ate her yogurt from the fridge. The bottom line for both -- you don't want to cross paths. "Both of these reactions prevent healthy dialogue, which cripples an organization," says Kerry Patterson, co-author of the New York Times bestseller "Crucial Conversations." "Our research shows that for every crucial conversation an employee avoids, an average of $1,500 and an eight-hour workday is wasted." To ease tensions, Patterson suggests trying to create a "safe" environment where the person knows your positive intentions. "When others feel respected and trust your motives, they let their guard down and begin to listen -- even if the topic is unpleasant. If you are open to hearing others' points of view, they'll be more open to yours instead of reacting with silence or violence." What happens if I embellish my salary history? The social director She organizes the annual holiday gift exchange and makes sure everybody knows the date of the company picnic. Depending on your mood, her energy and team spirit can be charming or grating. Enjoy the benefits of having this person on staff -- you'll never have to worry about forgetting Boss's Day. If too much hoopla is draining your time (or wallet), politely suggest ways to reign it in, such as holding a single party each month for employees celebrating birthdays instead of buying individual cakes. And for goodness sake, make sure her birthday is in your BlackBerry so you can wish her well!

Posted by anonymous on 10/30/2010:
huh, every one of these characters is tolerated. some of them sap my energy with their compulsions. the whiners are the worst. thank your for posting the entire article HADND. i agree with you, we need our own workplace survival guide.

Posted by econobiker on 11/01/2010:
"Kerry Patterson, co-author of the New York Times bestseller "Crucial Conversations." "Our research shows that for every crucial conversation an employee avoids, an average of $1,500 and an eight-hour workday is wasted."" Ms. Patterson obviously wants to sell her book. No mention on the hours and dollars wasted by discussing the sports scores or latest viral video...

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Party Girl Written by fedupwithher on 10/15/2010This is going to be a long whine, so bear with me...

It all started with my ex-boss who left for a better job. She got her best friend promoted to take her place (as our current boss) when she left.
So then she recommends current boss to hire this Party Girl who has NO experience and NO education. Of course, she gets hired into a SENIOR position.
Current Boss and Party Girl have started becoming friends, so now Party Girl is on track for a leadership role (over people who have more experience and tenure).
Current boss always takes her side, always stands up for her, etc. Current boss is very weak and cannot make a single decision on her own. Very unqualified to manage.

Party Girl shirks all her responsibilities onto the rest of the team.
She frequently says she's too busy (but I only see her playing iphone or flirting).
She often calls in sick because she's hungover.
She disappears during the day and uses fake meetings on her calendar to cover up.
She tells the boss whenever we leave a few minutes early, yet she has not worked an 8 hour day ever.
She always plans team lunches and happy hours and complains when we don't want to participate.
Everything that comes out of her mouth is either a lie or a repeat of what someone else has said.
She's clever and a political-genius, for sure.

Now you may ask - why don't you just look for another job? Because the pay and the company are EXCELLENT.

So, in the mean time, we will suffer and pray they will figure out her con game and fire her a$$.
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Posted by clownkiller on 10/15/2010:
Sounds like a real bitch. Is there any way you can hire a hitman to take her out? That might do the trick.

Posted by bigblackken on 10/15/2010:
Is she into black guys? I'll take care of her.

Posted by dontask on 10/18/2010:
Clown & Big you are no help at all. This is a watch and wait situation. If she is as bad an alcoholic as you describe she may also be into pharmaceuticals. Drug-test anyone?

Posted by Sphincter Detector on 10/25/2010:
I have always been an advocate of keeping your eyes on your own fries... meaning, what do you care if she keeps getting promoted, gets all the breaks and is a complete slacker? Her boss is clearly ok with it and so long as you don't have to pick up the slack ( but there will be times that ou do), but so long is you can handle it, the just ignore it- it's a small price to pay to keep the job you like with excellent pay as you mentioned. Beleive me, the boss will only accept Part Girl's behavior so long as she's not personally affected. But come the day that PartyGirl decommits or fails to deliver (and she will), on a critical task that gets Ms Boss in trouble, it'll be party over. It has to become personal for the Boss, and the boss has to have a vested interest in making a change. Best you can do is not help PartyGirl out of any jams. ie) if she comes to you at the last minute for help to complete a project.. "Sorry I'm up to my eyeballs, just can't do it". If she comes to you at 5PM for an AM delivery, "Sorry I'm just heading out the door for a doctor's appointment", Get it? Let her flounder on her own. But you have to be carefull how you respond in these cases, so you don't look like you're not a "team player". Slackers are notorious for accusing others of not being team players when people refuse to do their work for them! Always give a major excuse that leaves no speculation or question of your commitment! Good luck!

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Terminated For What? Written by Dolphin001 on 09/08/2010
September 8, 2010

I stareted a job in 9/2000. I started out as a receptionist and moved up to the business office. In between this time I did some of everything in that office, except surgery scheduling. I loved my job. But there were some bitches there.

Keep in mind I was never late (always earlier), never called in.

In February of this year I went to the heart center just to get checked out.(I have a 7yr.old and I am a smoker)After my appointment, I decided to make some changes for my health. I stopped hanging out with the "crowd". Now I am taking breaks by myself and during lunch I was by myself. Now remember I am doing just fine at this point, I have cut back on my smoking and doing great. Then everybody wanted to know what was wrong with me. (the bitches) Nothing was wrong, they knew what I was doing and why. But because I was not stuck up their ass, there was a problem. ( This is how it goes Office Manager then a Supervisor) So the supervisor bitches to the Office Manager and once she has had enough she calls me in her office. Long story short, she tells me I am her best employee in that office, but she had to let me go. Why? I never received a reason.Talk about being pissed!!! Because this is Alabama we have that law that states the employer does not need a reason.

So now because of Ins. I had to have surgery on my hand. (This was a seven week process)I now decide to take the summer off with my son. (I am getting unemployment) My sister passes away July the 7th, my mother took care of her for the last 12yrs so it was really hard on her. After we had her service and everybody went home (out of towners)
she decided she did not want to live at that house anymore. (to much negative energy). So at this point she is staying with us some of the time. My other sister comes down here we move her and get her set up in a house not far from me.

Now it is time to look for a job. I have sent several resumes out along with reference letters. As of today I have yet to receive a call from anyone. I find out that someone in that office is telling another office manager that the reason I was let go was because I could not work the computer and they tried putting me in other jobs but it just did not work out. Really, after 10yrs I do not know the computer????? So, I got someone who works in a different office to call and get a reference. She did not bad mouth me, just stated my dates of hire and the date I left.

I would like some opinions on this. Should I see an attorney for slandering my name?

Thanks for taking the time to read my
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Posted by labtech on 09/22/2010:
Check with an attorney that doesn't charge fees up front. You'll need someone to record a conversation with the office manager, someone who is pretending to get background info on you, about your job history. It's illegal in the state I live in to slander people, so maybe you have the same or similar laws and you can have a tasty lawsuit to get you some money. I don't know why management is so evil - but it's time to make them pay the price for it.

Posted by Little Mary on 09/27/2010:
Yes, I agree with Labtech. I can sympathize with your situation since it has a very familiar ring to it. Laws differ from state to state, but your best bet, if you can swing it, is to consult an employment attorney, even just to get some questions answered. Sorry all that bad stuff had to happen to you. It must have been horribly stressful. Then you had to deal with all the work nightmare. I hope things start turning around for you.

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political set up for discharge Written by on 07/06/2010I was in training and in 4 weeks I knew most of the job, but from day one noboagy said hello or good bye to me. My trainer has done my situation before and now he strikes again. The trainer wanted someone else for the position in this factory and refused to sign my training papers even though I knew most of the requirements. He has told our supervisor I don't know the job which in fact ran the position for two weeks by my self. I went to human resources and asked to be transferred to another department. When I was hired they had told me if the position dosn't fit you they would put me somewhere else. After I was discharged I found out that they are moving two African Americans around, but they wouldn't get me out of the political situation I was in. I am a 48 year old white man and because I'm white feel there has been an unjust discharge just because I'm white.Read 2 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by gozer on 07/21/2010:
maybe it is because you failed high school English?

Posted by anonymous on 07/21/2010:
reverse discrimination happens! check with a local volunteer law-group to direct you. do you have any papers and notes to prove your point. ~and never mind the high school english quip. not every job needs written language perfection. my last job did not require typing and my skills were rusty, my hands and back were aching, but some idiot union steward held that against me and was extremely hostile, destructive and unhelpful. not everyone is born attached to a keyboard.

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Verbal Abuse, Feces, and Urine... yes, URINE Written by thismustbeajoke on 06/26/2010I work in a tiny, run down, filthy office. The owners won't pay to get the place cleaned so the whole place stinks due to the dog that they bring in every day, who defecates and urinates on the wall to wall rugs.. since there are no cleaners, the feces/urine just sits there until someone bothers to clean it up. The place is owned by a wife(in her eighties) and husband combo, of which the husband spends all his time literally screaming and verbally abusing the elderly woman and chasing the dog around threatening it. The other people that work there are a f**king joke. in my "dept" there are a total of 7 ppl - me and one other worker do all the work while others play games on the computer, AND come in late, AND leave early, AND literally feast on greasy, nasty, smelly junk food and fast food ALL day, while me and the other hard worker get NO breaks. there are NO official breaks taken in the whole place (illegal) and the owners outwardly show favoritism to the junk-food-eatin three. They recently have been allowed to start telecommuting 2 days a week, whereas the rest of us are NOT allowed to, and it wasn't even offered to us as an option. I am desperately trying to find other work but I haven't gotten many responses due the extremely bad job market. I try to ignore the others but I need help! Add a Reply
The Art & Science of Trifling Written by aidedismayed on 06/21/2010I work as an aide at a nursing home, which is bad enough but for a particular coworkers, a grade-A, world class, professional trifler.

It's not as if she smells like a rose. She's the laziest person I've ever worked with and that's saying something. She's expert at manipulating other people into doing her work, especially the hardest and most unpleasant tasks. She frequently sleeps on the job in plain sight, skipping her rounds. Every week she has a coworker paint her nails on the clock, leaving call lights buzzing away, unanswered. Her rooms and residents are often left in states unfit all night. Only when it's time to dress them and bring them out into the common area does she bother to do her job.

In her copious free time, gained by not doing her job, she enjoys spreading rumors and making up stories about aides on her fecal scroll in an attempt to make them look bad. She also likes to follow her coworkers around, hoping to take note of things she can tell on them for. She'll then spend forty-five minutes off the top of the hour relating her findings to whichever disinterested supervisory ear she can find. Her trifling reaches its height when she walks fifteen feet behind a person, talking rudely and profanely about him or her to another coworker just loud enough so that her intended victim can hear.

Unfortunately, this aide is well entrenched. She has a carefully cultivated clique of minions, both aides and nurses, fellow triflers and weak minded people willing to do her bidding. She successfully chases off new hires on a regular basis, vastly increasing the turnover in a place where employees aren't won't to last anyway. She makes it impossible for decent hard working people to do their jobs. Her endless trifling takes the focus off the residents.

If I were in charge, I'd fire her for creating a hostile work environment. Half the facility's problems would instantly be solved.
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Posted by cindyl on 06/24/2010:
i think that's a crying shame! i started a job 1 week ago and for the first time in my life walk right back ut the door. people who don't like thier job should move on and those who make it hard for others should be reported. i sent an e-mail to corporate office and maybe you could do the same.

Posted by ladybug95 on 07/17/2014:
Oh sweet mercy somebody gets it. Being an aide sucks. I understand completely. My situation is a bit different, but we have the definition of a hostile work environment. The difference being, everyone of the veterans is in their own little clique and doesn't want anybody else waltzing in. And they make that very, very obvious.

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Co-Workers that suck !!! Written by Murphy77 on 03/08/2010I work at a hospital in a area where two people practically run the place. My boss is never seen or heard, which is really nice. When it comes to needing the boss she is never seen or heard. My co-worker is in constant state of stress or what she thinks is stress. She is always on the phone leaving me hanging and doing their job as well. They are on the phone with all of their friends all day long. Ignoring me and many other and Dr.'s as well !!! What the freak !!! OMG I cannot wait to find another job.

They always meeting friends for lunch I do not hardly get a lunch or time to eat anything remotely close to a lunch !!!
Every Friday they go out for lunch for almost 2 hrs leaving me stuck doing their job again !!!! FML !!!!. My wife is at home pregnant and I have enough stress as it is. I have informed my boss that I am looking for another job. I really do not think will sink in with her till I am actually gone.

It takes a while for my boss to start and finish something. I requested from them that I need access with certain areas of the hospital about 2 yrs ago. Ya I am still waiting for that !!! Sometimes on FB you can vent about work but not too much because " BIG BROTHER" is watching. They are probably watching this as well but I really don't freaking care !!!
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Posted by the confessor on 03/10/2010:
I've said this before, but this is a classic situation where a concientious employee is left to do all the work while all the other employees including the boss do nothing. If you complain, you'll either be ignored or fired. Ironically, your departure will probably mean the destruction of this lazy work culture. Find a good job elsewhere, while documenting all the non-work behaviors. Then resign and forward this info to top management. Call back anonymously a few months later. Don't be surprised if many of your former co-workers are gone.

Posted by fairness on 04/15/2010:
You need to report to HR about this.

Posted by The Best in the Business on 05/29/2011:
Of course you would never be able to tell another co worker these things to their face, but then again they probably would not listen to you anyway. I believe there would probably be too much ego for that.

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Egomaniac On The Loose Written by Desperate on 02/20/2010My department is made up of three people: My BOSS is the big chief, then comes ME and my PEER (The peer and I are supposedly on the same level --- but the peer recently got an amended title because she worked at the company longer than me). I have no problem with anyone getting their due. My BOSS reaffirmed that I DO NOT report to my peer.

The problem comes when the BOSS leaves for long meetings or vacation, my PEER is left in charge of the office and goes on an egomaniac powertrip that turns the whole environment into a 9to5 terror zone of demands and Diva-like behavior that I absolutely detest.

I'm a good person and genuinely can work with all kinds of people. However, I'm like a mirror: Show me love, you get it in return. Show me crap, and something inside me will serve a nice hot plate of crap right back to you. It tears me up inside having to work in those conditions.

How do I cope with this PEER being in charge without getting so angry, without quitting my job in the middle of a recession, without blowing my top and smacking the peer upside the head?

Please help. Any advice would be appreciated.
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Posted by chubby girl on 02/20/2010:
I loved this post's reference to the mirror. The peer will eventually self destruct, it is inevitable. Your peer is baiting you to react badly, quit or both. It will be very difficult but you have to ignore the peer's behavior. Look at this as a personal challenge on who can behave better. You would be the stronger person if you keep your cool. I have been in this same exact situation and the diva exposed herself and suffered the consequences.

Posted by the confessor on 02/21/2010:
This is classic. This person has been elevated because their experience supposedly translates into maturity. Then they turn into a monster when there is no one right there to supervise them. Quietly document these behaviors, and present them to your boss upon their return. This kind of bullying reduces productivity, increases absenteeism and sick time, and hurts the bottom line and the company's reputation. When documenting, be sure to note dates, times and any witnesses. Good luck.

Posted by Sphincter Detector on 02/23/2010:
Next time Peerzilla gets on your case, use another very helpfull 'mirror' tactic. 'Redirect' everything back to her. If she asks you to do some thing that is not your job you ask her why, as a senior staff member, she is asking you to do something that she knows is not your job and you'd be happy to educate her on your roles and responsibilities. If she starts exploding , tell her "You seem to be getting very upset, is there anything I can do to help you get control of your temper so that you can be more professional? Ouch! As you mentioned, she is not your manger so you're not being insubordinate and risk nothing. What's she going to do? Tell on you ? Doubt it.. becuase that will mean she has to explain to the boss what she did that caused you to talk to her that way. In situations like this, you need to know what your leverage is. In this case the deck is stacked in your favor. If she does make the stupid move of hauling you into the office, all the better for you as this gives you a platform to let the boss know what she's been up to without looking like a squeeler or a trouble maker since she's the one who initiated the discussion. Until then, keep drilling her and putting her on the defense so that eventually getting on your case for no reason will be too much work for her to justify and she will stop.

Posted by fingerstothebone on 05/20/2010:
I have a boss like that too. At first I took it personally and was not sure if she was trying to run me out. I would get so annoyed when she would talk to me because she talked to me like I was a pet she was trying to train. But then I thought the problem was with me if I let someone dictate how I handled stress and relationships at work. So I decided to shrug it off, focus on what I was good at and continue to study and practice so that I won't have to keep taking that crap.

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Out to get me and everyone else Written by Drowing in her misery on 02/19/2010I work with a person who is just over the top in paranoia, and is beyond delusional. She thinks that I sabatoage any and every project that she has. I am at the point where I remove myself from her projects to avoid her blame and other attacks she can make. I wish that I could have some help put seeing that my department is short staffed, she will be her for a while. WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO DO!! Any advice is helpful. Read 4 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by sphincter detector on 02/19/2010:
In my opinion, this is one of those occassions where you need to do two things a) Document roles and repsonsiblities before each project so that there is no confusion as to who did what and who is responsible for the end result of that component. b) you need to be very vocal and confront her on her insecurity before she makes you look like the bad guy. Nip that in the bud! People like this have a way of convincing others that you're the problem and next thing you know, you're out of a job for not being a 'team player'. Next time she starts her nonsense, you stop her dead in her tracks 'Wait a second Mary, let's back up for a second.. when you said XXXX what did you mean by that?" ect.. The goal of your line of questioning is to make her justify every comment and accusation. This does two things, makes her have to work for defense, and maybe she'll scale down her attacks when she sees how much effort it will be to support them, and b) It gives you a chance for rebuttle becuase there's nothing worse than letting idiots get the last word when they're in the wrong. Lastly, you need to have a chat with your own personal manager, to ask for his 'help'.. 'What would you do', how do you recommend that I address this situation'. There's nothing that mangagers love more, than to put on their Coaching hat. As long as you don't ask him to fight your battle and reprimand her, by allowing him/her to coach you, you give yourself a forum to discretely tell your side of the story in case she trys to blackball you later on, he'll already have your side of it. Additionally, beleive it or not, he may actually be able to help you by giving you the right advice, or addressing it with her manager. If he's her manager too, the trick is to make sure you are not being accusatory, and only "looking for advice". If all this fails, just tell that stupid cow to shut up,quit whining and stop being a lazy incompetant. Let the air go dead silent as she stares at you wide eyed in disbelief that you just said that. Walk away as if nothing happened. If she hollars back at you , ignore it and keep walking, you've had the last word. If she drags you into HR or your managers office, put your best acting face on and deny it. If she's as bad as you say she is, your boss already knows she's a whiner, chances are they'll beleive you over her, just make sure there were no witnesses :) However, my bet is she wont be walking into the bosses office to tell him that you just called her a lazy incopetant cow.. because the first question that that manager will ask you both is 'What happened?" .. and the cat will be out of the bag, she'll be exposed.

Posted by the confessor on 02/22/2010:
The length of the previous comment is a good indicator of why such people need to be removed. What a waste of time!

Posted by sphincter detector on 02/22/2010:
Confessor, not sure how to interpret your comment..the comment is long because I thought I would take some time to coach this person with some helpful feedback.. I had the time so why not go the extra mile... tho you are right, for the amount of energy expended on coaching these types of subjects, it is too bad you can't just fire the idiots!

Posted by fairness on 04/15/2010:
i think the best thing to do is stand your ground and don't let her belittle you in anyway. also, you should take her away from others and have a talk with her firmly and seriously and also ask her why she issues with you. If she does act up like that around people i guess that people do know how she is and they just don't want to be around her. and i do think you should tell her that she needs to respect you and treat you like a human being. hope this helps. and good luck everything will be fine and dont forget the saying what goes around comes around.

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Know-it-All about Everything Written by Garden Variety on 02/12/2010I'm sure what I'm experiencing is nothing new. In fact, I've suffered through horrible coworkers before. Maybe it's my own character flaw, perhaps I'm too judgmental or practical or what have you. Something I'm learning to accept.

But, I can't help it.

My coworker and I started around the same time, have the same job, report to the same boss. We're two of the most senior people in our department.

Every word out of my coworker's mouth drives me crazy. She talks incessantly, about work, about her husband, about her wedding, about her ideas, about other people. Better still, she constantly interrupts other conversations to inject her own personal experiences, regardless of whether they have any bearing on what the conversation is about.

Is she a good person? Sure. Is she annoying as all get out. You betcha.

I've taken to wearing earphones at work (we work in an open office), essentially avoid any activity that will put me in arm's length of her.

The kicker.

Seems like everyone else loves her. So sadly, I'm left to endure my extreme irritation in solitude. Which then puts some distance between me and the rest of my coworkers. But, I'm starting to understand, that it isn't important that you like who you work with, as long as you like what you do.

And quite frankly, I'm too old to start over somewhere. And I'm sure as heck not going to let this annoying git drive me from a job I like.

So, why am I writing. Cos, I need to vent somewhere. With folks who may sympathize, who may encourage, who may give me somewhere to vent my frustrations.

Goodness knows, an obnoxious coworker can ruin a day quite well whether or not they're trying.

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Posted by anonymous on 02/13/2010:
many of these friendly nicey-nice coworkers are all purpose information gatherers. draw your own conclusions when at quitting time there is that exhausted and nauseated feeling. they also get very upset should they feel emotionally distanced. there are tearful meetings with supervisors and other recriminations as in..."but i only want to be your friend".... sob, whine. supervisors will take their story over yours 90% of the time.

Posted by noname on 02/15/2010:
Wow, I have to deal with something similar at work too. The only thing is, this co-worker of mine only talks about negative things: her divorce, gossip about others, her new lover's ex-wife, etc. It's a real downer especially when I'm trying to start the day off right. At least your co-worker is in a positive mood about things. I'd rather have a talk-a-holic who is optimistic about things than one who drags my day down because her ex-husband did this or that. What fun. Don't let it affect you. As long as this person is doing their work you should be fine. Try to look busy when this person approaches you to talk or walk away with papers in your hand, step outside the office for a few moments then return. My co-worker not only speaks ill of others but apparently doesn't have enough to do. She updates her blog at work which I'd really like to address with my manager but this would probably result in more negative attitude, towards me! She seems like a very vicious person if you get on her bad side. Ugh, I am looking for another job.

Posted by Sphincter Detector on 02/19/2010:
OMIG.. you just described... me. I did not realize I was such a tool. Thank you for the revelation. PS.. if she is like me, she's doing it because she craves and desires the attention and admiration of people around her. Why? deep rooted desire to be loved and accepted blah blah blah. It sounds trite but it's true. Bad marriage, insecure -you name it. There's a whole psychology here but it's not your problem-you're there to work, not play shrink with your collegeues. If some one were to address it with me, I'd want them to tell me the truth. I am sickend now, at the thought there might be people out there thinking these very same things about me but smiling to my face.

Posted by keeks on 04/30/2010:
I know a lot of people will probably tell you that what you've described doesn't sound so bad and to get over it, but I do relate to what you're saying. I work with someone who, on all outward appearances, seems like a very nice person. But she just annoys the hell out of me (and only me, for some reason). I find her very snooty and fake and no one else seems to see it. Everytime she speaks it grates on my nerves and I have avoided her like the plague. Thankfully, she is leaving the company in one month and I won't have to deal with her anymore.

Posted by anamericancynic on 05/07/2010:
Don't these people just drive you nuts? Why? Seriously, ask yourself why? They used to drive me up a wall, then I said to myself one day "look if my boss doesn't care and it doesn't bother anyone else then why am I bothered by it so much?" The answer was that they kept intruding on my time. It wasn't WHAT they were doing, necessarily, but that they were doing it during the time I was trying to work. Look, I can talk or listen to anything or anyone, but when I have to get something done - leave me alone. Once I realized that I started making that clear to people that I had to get things done and I would love to have lunch or go out after work and talk. Honestly, I think I built better relationships by being honest than by being a pushover and being angry. Just my two cents and best of luck to you.

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It's Starting to Hit the Fan Written by chubby girl on 02/12/2010Now management is starting to figure out B is not productive. Only 25 years too late. Inventory has increased. First he made me so miserable I refused to touch the special projects. Well other people refused the special projects too. Now the work pile up is approching danger levels.

So lazy ass B sent a mutual friend to request that I not refuse projects. What a spineless fool. I want to see him justify to the bean counters that he gets nothing done in an 8 hour day, except of course sending out insulting e-mails and lame attempts at humor. You can only suck up so long before you get busted you simple a$$.
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Posted by labtech on 02/17/2010:
Hey CG, Looks like he's trying to put the blame on you for the work not getting done, and he was sneaky enough to have someone else send the email, so that when someone asks HIM about the matter, he's going to point the finger at you ! Very clever, very sneaky. Time to go to war; make it very obvious to management that he is slacking. Keep a list of your workload (how many projects, etc) so when some suit comes along to bust on you, you'll have ammunition. I usually say something about "hey, how come X isn't doing anything today ? We have so much work to do !" where Management can eavesdrop.

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Worst Office Environment Ever Written by missmyoldjob on 02/03/2010I work in a huge fileroom. We receive and transfer files out to other offices. The work is easy, the pay is good, my job is stable, my sanity... not so much!

Sure, I have had my fair share of incompetent workers... the ones that were always late, the ones that could never say anything nice, the ones that could never finish their work so the supervisor would give you some of their work to do. I could deal with these people individually but now I have to deal with one person who encompasses all the traits listed above.

He's been with the organization for 18 years and has the most experience than anyone else in the office. The only problem is, he has some sort of social anxiety disorder so going to him for help doesn't work. He doesn't say much and I was very put off by him when I first came on board because he always sighed when I asked him for help.

He doesn't like to drive when it's raining out. I do not lie. If it's pouring he won't be in. This is really weird to me considering we live in one of the rainiest cities in the US. You'd think he'd learn how to drive in the rain or at least be comfortable when the weather presents such a situation.

He asks for vacation days on the day of scheduled vacation time. Meaning, he will call on Friday morning to say he won't be coming in today because he wants the day off. This is perfectly okay with our manager. This happens every other week.

As far as workload goes, we have different piles of files that gradually get bigger and bigger if you don't work on them. I like to grab a stack of files whereas he will grab one off the top and work on it for about 30 minutes. I think he sees my eagerness to get things done as a way of slacking off.

30 minutes before his shift is over, he turns off his computer. We actually need the computer to do data entry on files and transfer them to other departments. That's how the fileroom works! For some reason he'd rather sit around doing nothing, which I think causes the last 30 minutes of the day to go by slower!

I've never had to deal with a person like this. I don't feel right discussing the situation with our manager because of his disorder. I really looked forward to a future with this office but after finding out how this one coworker is, I don't think I could be here for much longer.

Anyone else have to deal with a situation like this? Please help.
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Posted by Wage Slave on 02/04/2010:
Sorry but your manager is probably already aware of everything you wrote. Managers ignore driftwood because they know they can't get any work out of them. I have noticed managers will ignore the lazy old timers and ride the newbies. I have been at my job for 12 years so I am in the middle, not a newbie not yet an old timer. A friend of mine is a surgical nurse. She said a doctor berated her for preparation work that wasn't done by a lazy old-timer nurse. She called the doctor aside and said, "What gives, that preparation was the old timers responsibility." The doctor said, "I know but if you have 2 horses and 1 is lame and 1 runs which one would you whip to go faster?" It is little comfort but I remind myself as long as the old timers are useless those of us who do work are more valuable. I have been told, in this economy those of us with jobs have to make ourselves indispensable. This slug has made you indispensable.

Posted by econobiker on 02/09/2010:
"he has some sort of social anxiety disorder so going to him for help doesn't work." Hey, his social anxiety disorder is probably that he knows you are whipping his tail on productivity. You should begin to challenge him to little races to process files like "I wonder who could do this faster than me?" If he turns off his pc 1/2 before stop time document it and you might pull the line about "not stealing company time" around him. Let your boss know about your productivity gains so you can be considered for raises or moving up. It is possible that the guy is making, after 18 years, what you are making entry level.

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Lazy co-worker and inadequate boss Written by Company doormat on 02/01/2010Ever day I go to a job where my handle am supposed to provide support to 4,000 clients. Mostly by myself, I have a co-worker who has the same title as I do. He does nothing but, play with his damn iphone and walk around doing jack. I've even caught this guy browsing random websites. He claims to have years of experience from his old job. It must be experience in doing nothing and getting paid for it because that's what he's doing. So this guy has been working with the company for 6 months now, refuses to do any actual work and says he's new and still in training. What the hell kind of training takes that long. Not to mention, my boss who is totally not fit for the job. Comes in late leaves early, cusses like a damn sailor infront of her own staff. I think it is highly unprofessional considering it is a office environment. I had a hunch the lazy co-worker is an old employee of the boss and I was right! Once this sailor of a manager got hired she's been canning people and hiring her old buddies. My boss is so incompetent it takes about 4 months to get anything done. Every time she's on the hot seat she throws all her work my way. I'm supposed to handle my regular work load and finish her damn projects. After it is all done, she goes and takes credit for all of it. I can't wait to find another job so I can get the hell out of there. Read 2 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by Bop on 02/19/2010:
I Knox exactly where you are comiing from.I have a older lady at my office who is lazy,filthy and the only reason she got the job is because she knew payroll in sydney.she is the laziest cow I have ever come across.she dislikes younger girls and thinks all younger women are bitches?like WTF. I unfortunately sit behind her so I see all she does. She plays solataire all day, reads the paper and eats like a pig. She only does her work when it comes to crunch time.she never wears shoes and she glosses her teeth after a meal. She is so disgusting. Management think the sun shines out of her ass and they don't reprimand her in way? it drives me bananas and everyday I go to work with a knot in my stomach as I know I'll have to see her ugly chewbacha mouth! What do u do huh?

Posted by chubby girl on 02/28/2010:
Co Doormat and Bop, I LOVED both your posts. You have done the 1st step to stay sane, handling this difficult situation with humor. Unfortunately we can't control/tazer our coworkers but we can control how we react to them. A guy in my office is sly and lazy. He spreads vicious humor via e-mail and makes up gossip. He has management fooled and they assign him projects to review the work of people who actually do work. To stay sane I started do everything I can to ignore him. I won't answer his personal e-mails and I put on radio headphones or leave my cube when he walks around. I try to focus on the people who actually work as hard as I do. I know the people who actually work hard respect me and not him.

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still got a grude Written by cushion on 01/18/2010You know it's been quite a while since I've been here, and it's the same the stories are awesome, some are funny, yet some are incredible and these hardworking people work with a bunch of clowns. Well, I guess I still hold a grude against my co-worker who no longer works at the golf club.
yet, Every time someone mentions her name, just out of the brings back harsh hatefull memories of my 1 year
employement at the golf club. I heard it thru the coconut wireless that this WOMAN no longer works at the golf club, she finally passed the test and got a local govm't job. I also hear that the work shift this WOMAN got sucks...she has the night shift. I also heard thru the coconut wireless that the job this WOMAN has is far from where she lives, and she must drive her BIG A*S truck farther than 12 miles like she use to.

So, it's been 1 year since I left the golf club, I don't have any bad feelings towards the place. I know that there are good people employees...I am not sure if I want to go back there and work, because that WOMAN is no longer working there. I still have a grude against this WOMAN. It's a good thing I don't see her in our neighborhood, although she does live in my area, just about 2 miles from me. Everything about this WOMAN just makes me angry everytime I think about it...makes me cringe. I try not to think about it...a few months ago, I saw her vehicle on the road, going in the opposite direction from me...but she wasn't driving, she has vanity plates on her vehicle...can't miss it.
I don't have any staff pictures of from the golf club, thank goodness, we only took 1 picture!!! I can't let go of that grude I have over that place and it's employees. The golf course has made a "dent" in my brain to "hate" this WOMAN-totally, completely get her out of my mind. I don't know what I will do if I see her out and about in town? Prabably nothing and just keep it cool and ackowledge her politely. Maybe I"ll feel better knowing that it's all okay, because we both moved on to better jobs. For now she will only be an aquintance, not a "friend or former co-worker".

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Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 01/18/2010:
You really shouldn't let her have the rental space in your head. Is she really worth all that thought and anguish? If you really want to insult her memory, forget about her and get on with your life! Don't think about her! You've got more important things to do!

Posted by cushion on 04/27/2010:
I agree, I have moved onto the education side of the local govmt' job, her "kids" attend the school where I now work, but I don't recognize them....Yes, I have forgotten about this's cool now.

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Just because they have been employed to do the job does not mean they can. Written by Really Scared Not! on 01/17/2010I am so tired of the lazy people around me that just work harder at doing nothing than contributing and making the work go faster. They spend time on personal issues, surfing the internet, chatting with others and then claiming they are overworked and underpaid.

They have not really worked in so many years they do not contribute anything to the workplace. Managers bypass them as they do not want to deal with them and get rid of them. The ones who do work carry the load and these lugs just occupy the seat. You are considered the mean one when you speak out about it because no one likes to admit that they have an employee that is not doing their job under their command and they did not address it so the rest of us have to suffer. And so these people stay for forever. Don't they know that they would earn more respect from their team if they got rid of these people and they in the end would look even better because the rest of us would be so thankful we would probably work harder for them.

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Posted by chubby girl on 01/18/2010:
Bravo! You have described the driftwood in our office and many other offices. The people with seniority do nothing, get paid the most and screw up everyones' vacation requests by taking the best days. We have one guy in our office that does not do anything but smoke and tattle on the rest of us. The bosses knew they couldn't get any work from this lazy good for nothing so they PROMOTED him. I wish the powers that be would offer buyouts to these bums.

Posted by the confessor on 02/21/2010:
You're in a negative work culture. The supervisors are as lazy as your co-workers because they don't have the energy to fix the problem. Don't break your back working for these jackasses. Make the effort to find a position where your hard work results in greater rewards for you.

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I hate you B Written by chubby girl on 12/28/2009You have wasted your potential. You are lazy and sneaky. You once were creative and clever. You can't make a joke without insulting someone. You put more effort into avoiding work than actually doing it. You made fun of Rich just because Rich is more intelligent than you are. You made fun of me, Sue, Scott and Kevin just to hurt us.

Go ahead and insult us but look at yourself first. You wear a Members Only Jacket that should have been thrown away 20 myears ago. Your dress shirts are so old they are transparent. Your wife is fatter than all the "fat" women you make fun of.

You did all this to impress your butt buddy the Freddy Fender look alike. I would love to see both of you fired. Send another insulting e-mail my way and see if I don't file a lawsuit. I'd love to see security take both of you away. Neither one of you bring anything to the party but a foul stench.
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Posted by chubby girl on 12/28/2009:
Both of you should retire so that people who are willing to work can get a job.

Posted by labtech on 12/31/2009:
He probably thinks everyone loves him, he's the life of the party and a real hard worker, too. I'd write up a fake "layoffs are coming" notice, one that specifically mentions his department, and make sure he sees it. He probably has a horrible life at home and work is the only place he can feel important, by belittling others - which is not excusing his bad behavior. He needs a shakeup.

Posted by chubby girl on 12/31/2009:
Labtech, I appreciate your perspective on the home life. I never thought of that. My husband values me therefore I believe everyones' spouses value them. I love your layoff idea but he is an a-Wipe and has most of management fooled. Our District Manager knows that B is a good for nothing. Of course our DM will be retiring this year. The new DM is coming from the outside. I hope this guy/gal is fair. Thanks for your comments have a Happy New Year!

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Filthy Chef grosses me out the door Written by janetd on 12/16/2009One of the chefs at our restaurant flosses his teeth at his work station. Food particles fly out of his mouth onto the cutting board, garnishes and prepped food. To top it off, he does not even wash his hands.
I eat no food from this place.
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Posted by kskick on 12/16/2009:
gross- I don't want to eat there either! where is this place i want to avoid..

Posted by Sphincter Detector on 12/21/2009:
Holy shit dude, what is the name of this place, I NEVER want to eat there. I am just coming down from 4 days of food poising from eating at some hole in the wall Indian restaurant in my neighborhood. The creme in the sauce was off. I complained they said I was lying. DO NOT EAT AT THE INDIAN KITCHEN in Thornhill, Ontario- CAN Corner of Yonge and Clark

Posted by chubby girl on 01/18/2010:
I'll bet this is a made up story otherwise she would have posted the restaurants name. Congratulations you had us going and not going out to eat.

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Sphincter of the Week Written by Sphincter Detector on 11/12/2009We recently experienced an unfortunate situation where a 30 year respected veteran of our company was 'released from bondage'.

The backlash was biblical.. every person involved in the “conspiracy” experienced a massive loss of workplace friends and is now getting the stink eye left right and center.

As a manager in general, I am guilty by association, even though I had literally no involvement in this matter and I was told when everyone else got told, yet somehow I too am on the social shit list. Suck it up Buttercup!

Mangers have broad shoulders and I'm not particularly concerned that I've just lost all my social associates, but you'd have to be made out of stone not to feel the hurt just a little bit.

One person in particular has affected me. This person was more than an office friend, she’s been to my home, we've shared life stories over dinner and wine, and we've known each other for over 10 years. We seen our share of office idiots come and go, and had a comradery that comes only with time and tenure. Yet despite this history, she showed no mercy, when she publicly snubbed me in front of my own subordinates and total strangers at the coffee counter. What's worse is that she is unaware that I took to this man's defense, and once she finished telling me off , she invited my employees who were coming to my defense, to go ahead and suck up to me. Then she had the nerve to dismiss me with a wave of her hand and quickly walked away giving me no opportunity to respond, to defend myself, or set the record strait. I'm standing there with my jaw dropped... WTF just happened there?!

Not withstanding the fact that I’m pretty sure what she did was a terminable offense, since I rank several levels above her , and she did it in front of my employees and dragged them into this drama, completely unprofessional, I’m going to take the high road here and spare her the indignity of an HR discussion because I know she is probably hurting badly over the loss of her good friend.

So, at this point I really don’t know if I’m more angry about the way she treated me or the fact that she doesn't know the truth and I'll never get a chance to tell her because I'm pretty sure if I try to interact with her to make peace she's the type of person that would go to HR herself and claim that I am harassing her. So I guess she’ll have to live in her ignorance because after this blog therapy session here, I’m not spending one more second lamenting on this issue- I’m pretty sure she’s not losing any sleep over it.

I guess I’ll have to just chalk this up to a learning experience, THERE ARE NO FRIENDS AT WORK!

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Posted by bookwoman on 11/12/2009:
I have to disagree with the following: "Not withstanding the fact that I’m pretty sure what she did was a terminable offense, since I rank several levels above her , and she did it in front of my employees and dragged them into this drama, completely unprofessional, I’m going to take the high road here and spare her the indignity of an HR discussion because I know she is probably hurting badly over the loss of her good friend." The air needs to be cleared, even if your friendship is over, and especially since she gave you an earful in front of your own subordinates. Not sure what to advise on how to go about handling it, but if it takes a visit to HR with her, then so be it. IMO you should address this separately and directly with your subordinates as well. By going off on you as you describe her doing, if you do not address this then the door has been opened for anyone else, regardless of level or rank, to be disrepectful to both you and others. I really see you having a responsibility to respond. And I'm sorry to hear about your co-worker who is now gone. That's stressful in and of itself, to have to deal with.

Posted by chubby girl on 11/13/2009:
Bookwoman is right. You have not lost a friend. If your friend was so concerned she would have taken you aside or called you at home to discuss this. I have had problems with management's decisions in the past but I cannot stand when co-workers grandstand and cause uncomfortable scenes. She sounds like a coward. If she had a real problem with the firing she would have taken her case to the powers that be, who were responsible for the firing. I wouldn't haul her into HR. Tempers will cool, clouds will lift and facts will be made clear. When she is less emotional I would let her have it, tell her she shouldn't tell anyone off when she is clueless and you are not friends anymore. Don't trust her again she has shown you her true colors.

Posted by tawnysmom on 10/14/2010:
i would never refer to this co-worker as a "friend". she really wasn't.

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Children: The Ultimate Escape Hatch Written by Bitter and Twisted on 10/31/2009Okay, every month, we have a public event that requires staff to work on the weekends. One of our co-workers always shows up with her child in tow.

The child is cute... but after about 30 minutes at the event, the little ADORA gets ugly. The kid becomes a whining nuisance, which means -- MOMMY needs to shirk her work duties and go tend to the kid, walk the kid, feed the kid, find quiet time with the kid or sometimes --- leave with the kid for minutes up to hours. Still, MOMMY gets pay and acknowledgment for being at the event!!!!

Why bring the kid when you have people at home who can take care of it??????? I've gotten to the point, every time I see the kid, all the "cutesy-wutsey" small talk just runs out of my body. I have nothing to offer the child. It's not little ADORA's fault. The blame starts with me and ends with MOMMY.

I truly believe that MOMMY brings the kid to these events simply to find a way to escape from being on duty. I like kids --- don't get me wrong. But one thing I detest is manipulation --- and that's exactly what this smells like.

I sometimes want to confront MOMMY about being a selfish con artist --- or at times simply say to her "Please don't bring ADORA".... but most people (including my co-workers) would probably make me out to be a monster. I'm not... I'm simply someone who does not make much money, have a life of my own, work hard, but have to pick up the slack and do double-duty when it really isn't necessary.

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Posted by burgerkink on 10/31/2009:
Since this seems to be an ongoing thing, do the people paying all you 'volunteers' wages actually know she is not doing what she volunteered for? It is not very good of a company to let something like that slide, and it can grow. The idea that she spends paid time with her child is apt to cause problems over time. If the others don't have children and just dote on the idea of motherhood, maybe you can step aside and let them help mommy out, so she can stay and help like the rest. Consider it a learning opportunity for them.

Posted by thelma on 11/02/2009:
Are you getting paid or given comp time for your weekend work? If not, I don't see the problem with bringing Adora or a whole quiverfull.

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My frenemy made himself look like a Dumba$$ Written by chubby girl on 10/31/2009I was on a special project. Our review team marked me wrong based on their misinterpretation. My frenemy was appointed to defend my project because he has seniority and he is just so intelligent. The managers above both of us even said "hey there's nothing wrong with this."

He was assigned this project at 7:00 am by 7:10 he had an e-mail sent to my boss saying not only was my project bad the reviewer should have also pointed out other mistakes. My boss and I went to his desk and I tried to convince him to do what he was assigned to do. Myboss isn't saying too much just watching us interact.

The whole time my frenemy is not showing any emotion on his face and this is making me more angry. I lost it. I said I have to go. I walked away because I knew if I stayed one more second I was going to leap across the room like they did in the movie Mean Girls.

My boss could tell I was angry because I haven't mastered the art of being a 2 faced cutthroat bastard. I called my boss into an abandoned office. Said if you repeat this I will deny every word. I said I have competed with my good old frenemy for projects beat him out and he would not be professional enough to put that aside and defend my work. I still believe if you are honest people will know it.

I don't know what was said or what was done. Later that afternoon my good old frenemy came over to my desk and said "We are going to send out a defense statement of your work and gloss over your mistakes." Since he is a snake, in the very 1st line he called attention to the so-called other mistakes.

I am struggling with myself should I forget all civilized office rules and physically jump up an down on him like he deserves or do I take the high road. I can't afford to get fired or arrested so I take the high road. I write an e-mail to my good old frenemy, my boss and the technician responsible for submitting the defense memo asking her to omit his 1st line.

The technician writes me back and says OK. My boss writes me back and says, I think he did this on purpose. My good old frenemy is silent.

My husband thinks I'm nuts for caring this much and he may be right. I just hate it when anyone gets over me.

I do not solicit these special projects. They are not worth what you have to endure from your coworkers jealousy. The next time any boss approaches me I think I would like to say give it to my frenemy so he can hide from the real work and sleep in an abandoned cube. It's not hearsay I watched him do it.
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Posted by chubby girl on 12/03/2009:
Someone should have posted to this. I cannot be the only backstabbing victim here.

Posted by dontask 0 on 12/22/2009:
How is it going CB? Just to let you know you are not alone in this. You are not the only one being back-stabbed. Many have been in similar situations and are still licking their wounds. It's hard to come up with a solution to your problem and that may be the reason for not posting. I do feel if you boss values you he should have done more than let the two of you duke it out. Observe how this situation develops further and investigate if your frenemy is doing this on his own accord or if others are in play. Whenever one of my bosses assigned a special project to me, her boss would interfere. She would do anything to stop me from following through and completing it. As soon as I started working on it my boss's supervisor would appear and assign something else. I practically had to invent new ways to finish by deadline. I hate sneaking around to get my work done and I finally asked my boss to assign the same yearly project to another eager coworker. My boss also acted dumb deaf and blind when the subject of her boss came up.

Posted by chubby girl on 12/28/2009:
I really appreciate your explanation and concern Don't ask 0. The reviewers would not reverse their position. 2 more errors were made by a girl named K and a guy named J. J is my frenemy's buddy and they even went to Ireland together. My frenemy went all out to defend J's position. J's error was not reversed. My frenemy sent out a memo saying K and I had to submit our work directly to him for review. J's name was not on this memo but since he made an error it should have been. This shows exactly how stupid management is. The left hand never knows what the right hand is doing. Get the SNEAKIEST LAZIEST person to review the most hardworking people. K and I were scheduled for 6 weeks of training for a new position. We would be in class for 6 weeks. So what was he going to review? I submitted my last project for review to my frenemy before training, knowing damn well it was PERFECT. Via e-mail he sent it back to me adding references. The references I provided were correct and succinct. His additions were not needed. In a backhanded way it is a complement. In essence he was saying this is perfect but I will add some meaningless crap so I can make you feel bad and have management think I'm being productive. I sent him an e-mail saying I'm in training and I can't get to it. I wanted to say, Hey put your name on this garbage and submit it to management. I'm going to refuse future projects. Management can then notice that K and I do 8 times the work you do since you send off color bullying e-mails, hide and take naps instead of work. Go ahead be the King of Crazytown.

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Passive Aggressive Coworker Written by Kassie on 10/09/2009For years, I have worked with a woman who uses strategic incompetence and passive aggression to avoid her responsibilities. When one first meets her, “Arlene” seems like an emotionally fragile older woman who is a bit on the dumb side. Now, I don't think she's dumb; she's mentally lazy. And, she has learned that the "dumb act" results in tasks being placed upon others. She puts a lot of effort into surfing the internet, sending joke email/news articles, and handling her personal business on the job. But, she has put very little effort into remembering the basics of her job. She has made literally hundreds of mistakes over the years. She uses covert methods to dump her assigned responsibilities onto her coworkers, especially exploiting new employees who might feel uncomfortable about standing up to a senior staff member. When confronted about transferring her calls to others, leaving her work on the desks of others, neglecting her database work, or making mistakes, she blows off the concerns. “Everybody makes mistakes,” “Oops, I forgot,” and “I misunderstood,” are her favorite excuses. She will blame others for her mistakes and will lie, saying that the employee she dumped her work upon offered to do it. Also, she hides in her office if people are discussing work, even if it’s something that would fall under her area of responsibility. Management has to practically drag her out of her office to participate in work-related conversations. She doesn’t make any technical contributions and looks like a deer in the headlights if anyone asks a question of her. After being put on the spot, she will attempt to turn the tables and play the victim, claiming that people don’t include her. She is included on all emails, meetings, and given all the materials to do her job. Claiming to be excluded is her way of diverting the discussion from the real issue: her avoidance of her responsibilities. She seems to get a rush out of passing the buck and will put more time into avoiding the work than it would have taken to actually do the work. It’s funny that she thinks she has outsmarted everyone and that people don’t see her for what she really is. For a long time, management gave her the benefit of the doubt, but now she is notorious, Department-wide, for being an underachiever. I wish she would retire so that we could hire someone who would actually learn the work. But, I think we are stuck with her. Thanks for allowing me to vent. Add a Reply
Untrainable co-worker Written by frustrated on 10/03/2009My supervisor is instructing me to continue retraining a co-worker who is totally untrainable. In two years she has not been able to retain anything she has been taught. My work deadlines are not met because I am having to spend an inordinate amount of time repeatedly explaining procedures. She should have been let go after her 90-day probation period, but is being kept on because she's "so nice," and we're told the rest of us who are up to speed need to be "more understanding" of co-workers who don't learn as quickly as we do. Problem is, this untrainable half a brain is getting paid the same if not more than I am. When should a supervisor finally say that a person is not working out? Just how long do you keep someone on the payroll who is not learning their job? My boss has instructed me that she intends to keep her and that I am to continue retraining her AND get my work out in a timely manner. HELP!Read 13 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by bookwoman on 10/03/2009:
This sounds like you're being set up to fail. Can you meet with your supervisor to discuss this directive objectively? If you prepare for a meeting with a list of questions or bullet points and conduct yourself in a thoroughly unemotional manner, maybe your supervisor could provide a structure or plan for you to accomplish such a crazy-ass goal (don't say that to the supervisor). Good luck.

Posted by thelma on 10/05/2009:
It sounds like someone where I work. She's still here after 5 years. She filed a harrassment complaint against her boss so now, if they fire her, she can sue. So they won't fire her. And I've seen good workers get fired because the boss doesn't like them or has a grudge.

Posted by labtech on 10/08/2009:
You have to get your work done before you help Ms. Untrainable, otherwise you'll be the one in trouble. Write up the tasks you're trying to teach her. Ask her to sign off on the tasks when you have done explaining it for what is probably the 100th time. When she "doesn't know how to do" something, pull out the papers. This worked on our Untrainable - he quickly became Trained, once he understood he'd be out of a job unless he started working.

Posted by Kassie on 10/08/2009:
This sounds like a woman with whom I work, and I suffered through training her, something that was never fully accomplished because our weak managers would never do anything about the problem. If I could go back 10 years, I would have done a lot of things differently. I would not have been as accomodating, would have documented everything, and allowed our untrainable employee to sink or swim. I don't really believe in the sink or swim management technique for most people, but I believe it is necessary with the strategically incompetent types, who have learned that putting on a "dumb act" often results in someone else being tasked with the responsibility. As long as the untrainable employee is allowed to get away with it, the situation will never improve.

Posted by anonymous on 10/09/2009:
10 years! you have my sympathy.

Posted by Anonymous on 02/03/2010:
I understand where you are coming from. As a manager, I deal with this quite frequently. Most of the time, the manager is aware of the problem. Laws and regulations have really made it difficult to deal with underperforming individuals without months of documentation. Sometimes there are plans in the works to terminate, but these details can not be discussed with other employees. I suggest that you start documenting EVERYTHING and take it to your manager.

Posted by Alane on 03/20/2010:
I feel you...I am going thru the same thing.I have been training someone for two months. I have printed out old reports with instructions on how to prepare the reports. I have also sent emails with examples and instructions on how to do them. Employee has demonstrated doing similar reports. How long should I hold her hand? When stuff goes wrong, our boss will talk to both of us. So, it looks like if she messes up then the entire team messes up and should I be blamed?

Posted by the confessor on 03/22/2010:
Two thoughts here. Either this person is not cut out for the job and everyone really loses out in the long run, or thet are "playing dumb" to avoid having to work. Document and let this person know that their underperformance issues will be dealt with one way or another. Period.

Posted by anonymous on 03/28/2010:
This sounds like what is happening where I used to work.I was let go in what was called "right sizing", along with 4 others.The idiot that they kept has had 90% of the job duties taken from her because she has screwed up so many times,which puts a giant strain on the other customer service reps.The customers refuse to talk to her,things have been documented and taken to management many times and yet she is still there collecting a paycheck for essentially no work! I am still in contact with former coworkers and they and the customers would love to have me come back, but my half brain former boss would rather hit himself in the head with a shovel than admit he made a HUGE mistake when he let me go.It would be comical if it wasn't so sad, for all of the people who have been forced to double their work load,as well as the ones,like myself,who were excellent workers let go for no real reason other than not being liked by bad managers.My only hope is one day he will be on the unemployment line and see how much he enjoys that!!!

Posted by anonymous on 03/31/2010:
I'm posting from the other side of the coin, the customer who has to deal with untrainable and stupid people on the phone.I work in a dental office and our supplier let the person go that I dealt with on a regular basis and kept someone so stupid that I refuse to give her my orders-WTF??? How could they let the best customer service person I've ever had in my 20+ years go and keep this idiot?? There's only one other person there I trust do get my order right, and half the time I can't get through to her because no one else wants to talk to the idiot either and they're waiting for the person with a brain to speak with! To me, this was the most ignorant thing this company ever did, and I made my feelings known to their so-called branch manager, who was totally rude to me-what a jerk!!The service from them has really gone downhill, and if I wasn't so fond of my territory rep who calls on our office,I would change supply houses in a heartbeat.So not only do other workers suffer from untrainable people, the customers do,too!!

Posted by fairness on 04/14/2010:
how about making some flashcards for her. write notes and give them to her. you can even show your boss that you have done that to help her.

Posted by What's a Christian to Do? on 04/19/2010:
I prepared a step by step description of tasks and hi-lited the most important steps. When there was problem after problem with work she did on her own, I asked the co-worker to show me the instructions I prepared so I could see if I missed something. I was told that I never gave her anything. I realize that she likes to learn by having someone talk her through everything. But, I am not even her supervisor. I just sit in the desk next to her and am not even supposed to be doing the same job. I learned it so I could explain it to her. The only reason she is still there is because she has a pleasant phone personality, this is what my supervisor has told me. She has been working with us over a year now, she has been moved out of one position after another because it was not a good fit (she made too many mistakes). I am a Christian and want to help her as much as I can, but some days her incompentence makes me angry. Why can't she read the manual and figure it out herself? And, if she does not understand it, why doesn't she stop before she proceeds so that she can find out the correct way to do it? Why are people who take the time to understand their job and do it correctly punished by having to fix the problems that the incompetent people create? To make it worse for me, she is always saying how thankful she is that I understand the problem and that I am able to fix it. We can thank God for the job-security that we are given through them!

Posted by labtech on 04/22/2010:
If you have access to an office copier, and office supplies like looseleaf binders, here's what I'd do. Make a copy of all the training materials, stick it in a notebook binder; put her name PROMINENTLY on the binder, and deliver it (in front of witnesses, if possible). Email the bosses telling them you have put together a training manual and specifically have given the first copy to HER, because a manual of SOPs is Good Business Practice and you were only TOO HAPPY to help here. Add "Training Coordinator" duties to your resume, too. Guard that email like treasure because the bosses will only hear Ms. Pleasant whining "oh she didn't teach me ANYTHING", and then YOU will have the problem. Some people DON'T or WON'T read manuals and need their hand held constantly, which is a pity, because the workplace is no place for them. And don't find the time to help her all the time; make sure you have a more important project to do, and send her to the boss to ask her questions and straighten out her messes. And don't assume you have any job security - she's already lied once, and said you never gave her anything, what's to keep her from making up worse stories that the boss might believe ?

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tech support (update) Written by Alvin on 09/13/2009Well, I finally let "Smithers" have it at the office (see my previous entry titled "Tech Support" by Alvin from about 2 or 3 months ago (it's on the 3rd page from here). I have great relief. He came to my office to ask a question and I asked him why he couldn't mind his own business, why he was such a busybody, why he was so nosy...(those exact words). I told him to worry about himself, to get a life and not be preoccupied with other people, and stop making petty and unnecessary comments, and (the big one) that EVERYONE in the office felt the same. I gave him specific examples too. He just walked away without saying a word. About a half hour passed and then I walked to his office to ask him a work-related question and he couldn't think anymore. And then I continued some more and he tried to spin it as if it were a personality conflict between the two of us. He ran to the boss - who feels the same way I do about him - and wants to talk about it with her (the boss). She knew I was going to let him have it, yet she is so spineless she was trying to get the hell out of there rather than deal with the problem. She needs to step up and let him have it now. I just tee'd Smithers up for her. It has to come from her now. And the other spineless co-workers should also be involved in this, in my opinion. He needs to hear it from everyone that he's a disruptive force in the office.

Any thoughts?
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Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 09/14/2009:
Good for you! Tell your other co-workers it feels great to have a backbone!

Posted by Alvin on 09/14/2009:
SP, Thanks. You were very helpful and supportive the last time. Quick update. The boss punted this thing to her boss. How spineless is that? Still, I had a good meeting this morning with the boss's boss, who also spoke with Smithers. I had to make it clear that this was not between me and Smithers. Rather, it is between the whole office and Smithers. He (boss's boss) knew that Smithers was a problem, but not to this extent. That said, I won't be disappointed if nothing really happens. It's how these people are. But I got it all out and it feels good.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 09/15/2009:
Isn't that frustrating? This is why I truly believe The Peter Principle is real. I have seen companies advance incompetent employees to management in order to move them out of the way leaving the rest of the department to be productive. Soon, people will start offering courses titled 'Move up in your career! - How to be an ^%!$hole in three easy steps!"

Posted by labtech on 09/15/2009:
I'm sorry you have to deal with Smithers, people like that really ruin a workplace. But Government jobs don't promote bosses from the ranks on the basis of hard work, like SP said - they get promoted to 1. Get them out of the way of the real workers, or 2. Because they know Somebody Important. So your spineless boss will bump it up to HER spineless boss, and no one will do anything, they'll just wait for this dolt to retire, or maybe try to shuffle him off into another office. Good job on your attack. I'm going to try that on our resident Backstabber.

Posted by Alvin on 09/15/2009:
I also called him an autocrat and told to him to stop talking down to people and stop bothering and harassing everyone. I gave specific examples too. Did this in a very firm voice - didn't yell or anything like that - but I didn't sugarcoat it either. Made it very clear how I/We felt. We haven't talked the past two days. We'll sort of nod to each other in the hallway and that's it. I've noticed some changes already in his behavior. I also doubt he'll get promoted. Nobody likes him. Not the boss, not the boss's boss, not people in the other offices/departments. But I just don't think any of these have the guts to fire him...for whatever reason. Anyone know why someone who is disliked by everyone can keep his job...even when that person is an at-will employee with no tenure (though we do work in state government)?

Posted by chubby girl on 09/16/2009:
Managers in government offices are lazy and hate paperwork. When you fire someone after his probationary period there is alot of paperwork. Our office was like boot camp really tough to the new employees, in the beginning during the weeding out process and lax to the senior employees. A standing joke in our office is, that if you are related to someone, a veteran, disabled or a minority, you can skateboard naked and no one will fire you. There is no rhyme or reason to selecting managers. The last manager selected was a union steward they purchased. The one before her was a gal who was so rude she was abusive to the public. Meanwhile, competent candidates were overlooked. Department Managers have approached me and asked me to apply for a lead position. I always say no, not for a million dollars. I don't want any part of running this circus.

Posted by labtech on 09/16/2009:
CG is absolutely right. We had one of those precious snowflakes put lit firecrackers into the pocket of a heart attack patient; he got suspended for 2 days, that was it. Since there are enough workers to do the workload, management sees no reason to expend time and effort to get rid of a PITA worker like Smithers. He'll probably lay off the bad behavior for a little while though, you seem to have gotten through. That's Government for you; always dead wood floating around.

Posted by Alvin on 09/16/2009:
You guys are right about the post-probationary period. It does change things even though you're technically an at-will employee. Still, it amazes me the things Smithers gets away with - things he does to the boss no less - and the boss doesn't do anything. I always think this guy wouldn't last 3 months in the private sector. Maybe I'm wrong. And when I said he was disliked by everyone, that was an understatement. He's a ruthless, smart-aleck, lying, disruptive SOB. But again, I am starting to notice some changes in his behavior.

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 09/16/2009:
Alvin-- Whatever you do, don't trust him for a second! His behavior may have changed for now, but he will be back to his old ways in no time. Give him a few weeks to a couple months, and he'll be up your tailpipe again for something really stupid. You're going to have to constantly check him to keep him in line, and out of your way. And don't tolerate any of his bad behavior for even a second the next time he does it. He'll soon get the idea that you aren't going to let him get away with anything. Hey MAY eventually learn to leave you alone, and if others join in, he'll leave them alone too, or he'll quit and find somewhere else where there are unsuspecting backs to stick with sharp things.

Posted by Alvin on 09/16/2009:
Good points. You're probably 100% right. And I'm not going to let him get away with anything anymore. He's got no one on his side. Unfortunately, no else except me will do anything. Still haven't heard anything from the bosses either.

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Let's Be a Team! Only..YOU're the only one on it! Written by BeBuBu on 09/10/2009I work in a very small office. We have a team "leader" who hides all day so she doesn't get confronted by my lower level coworkers, three young guys who run the office, and me. The three guys and I are all on the same level.

We have one of the female 'Leaders' who is emotional, often coming into work downtrodden, pissy, and sad. It's annoying. I try to ignore it, like yeah whatever. I stick to me work since she does not work in my vicinity. (the boys who run the office ran her out of it because they did not like their boss managing them) So, my team leader doesn't do crap and completely agrees that these roudy boys dictate how things operate.

I don't like it as I am the quiet, hard working person in the group. I bust my 'balls,' am always behind and taking on new projects, while my male counterparts chit chat ALL day, surf the web for hours, and wander around the office, going to flirt with the married CEO every once in a while. I cannot stand it!!

I am the only person who doesn't bs all day, who doesn't take breaks (I don't have time for breaks!!), I don't talk back to anyone, I don't push work off or reject new work.. Yet I am the one who is scrutinized and my leader gets pissy as hell if I misspell one word in two weeks. I can't take it!!!

I almost walked out today in frustration as my coworkers all gathered around to talk about hot chicks on mailing materials and football and pizza and video games for over an hour straight while I was slaving away desperately trying to finish one of my 5 pending projects. The guys get away with murder and no one, including our CEO, will do anything about it! Our team leader and our CEO are female. The leader is about ready to walk out, the CEO is so pleased that young boys grovel at her feet that she would never reprimand them.

I don't know what to do!! I try to only focus on my work but I can always hear them talking and laughing all day, each time I go to the bathroom I can see video games on their screens... I am so frustrated. If I mention it to the guys, they gang up and say "MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!" Today one guy yelled at me in front of everyone because I questioned why he couldn't complete his work since he'd been walking around socializing for an hour previous.

I really really liked my job until my work load became unmanageable while everyone else's stayed at a high school intern's level.

Offer me some advice, please! I want to keep this job but I almost scream my head off daily.. I feel it's a matter of time, sadly..And it's not my looks, I'm very cute. I'm intelligent, I'm diligent, I'm nice, and have only recently, after 2 years become a tad bit bitchy.
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Posted by the confessor on 09/11/2009:
My advice is to post resumes and do a job search while your fellow employees, CEO, etc. whoop it up. You're a worker in a non-working environment. Take advantage of the fact that no one seems to care what is going on to further YOUR future. Your most impending project is to get the hell out of there!

Posted by 1anonymous on 09/11/2009:
keeping my fingers crossed that you find another good job really soon. you are a good worker and it does look as if job opportunities are getting better (hoping, hoping for your sake and mine.) In normal times i would have given you the advice to take a vacation or switch shifts and see what happens. it's amazing how fast managers stop laughing and notice who the real slackers are when they are stuck with half-finished projects they have to complete. twice i was paired with the worst slackers of the team. the first was fired shortly after a change in my schedule. she just did what she always did - nothing - and the work sat out overnight. after i had to take a few days sick-leave the second slacker's hours were cut. the fun stops quickly when deadlines loom and coworkers entertain instead. managers did discuss how to put teams together, mine deliberately paired lazy hypochondriacs but funny workers with conscientious ones. the entertainers among them did not understand the unwritten rule of filling in during emergencies to get the job done.

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What is he, Four Years Old ? Written by labtech on 09/04/2009Another problem. This coworker likes to sneak up behind me, grab my hair (which is long) and threaten to cut it off. He does not seem to understand the words "Do Not Touch Me" or "Do Not Do That." Last time he did it, yesterday, I nearly hauled off and punched him, which would have cost me my job. I plan to inform him publicly (in front of witnesses) that he does not have permission to touch me, EVER, with a follow-up written statement informing him of the same. He does not harass the other female employees in this fashion. I hesitate to bring such a juvenile mannerism to the boss's attention if I can't get rid of it myself. Has anyone else dealt successfully with this problem ? Read 7 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by twiz on 09/04/2009:
That is definitely not appropriate. If you have already asked him to stop, and he persists, then talk to his manager. If that does not help, talk to HR. You should not be subject to that type of harassment.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 09/04/2009:
I don't think it is a bad idea to inform him publicly that he should not touch your hair but you stand the risk of making him look bad which may tick him off. I would simply go to an HR rep and tell them what is going on to have it on file and have the REP inform your hair-obsessed co-worker in private thus leaving you out of this.

Posted by BonusOnus on 09/04/2009:
Uh, labtech, why isn't the management or your company aware of this? They (the company, not the annoying individual) run the risk of being sued by you for having a hostile work environment. Grabbing your hair could be considered an assault. How would they react if the offending individual didn't pull your hair but kept punching you in the arm?

Posted by labtech on 09/05/2009:
Unfortunately, the punishment for whistle-blowing is to be the target of all the hardest, least desirable work; Human Resources doesn't really care, and my boss would not care if my coworker set me on fire, my boss would only be upset if my paperwork was scorched. I informed the idiot to leave me alone, that he did not have permission to touch me or my hair, in as certain terms as the English language possesses, along with some Anglo-Saxon derived cusswords to drive the point home. And when I told this joker to not touch me, yesterday, his sulky reply was, "I got that the day before. I don't know WHY I bother !" Me too - I don't know why he bothers ME. Maybe he thought I'd be the least likely to retaliate, but the reality is I have a short temper, so there is a real problem if I lose my temper and hit him or do property damage - that's an immediate dismissal from employment. When it happens again (and it will), I will have to hope I don't pop him one and report it to the boss and HR, no matter the fallout.

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 09/07/2009:
I think that since he is touching you first, you at least have carte blanch to slap his hand away. If he has the hubris to put his hand on you, you should be well-justified in removing it if he refuses to. Technically, by reaching for you, it's assault, especially if it's unwelcome. Next time he starts pulling on your hair, scream your head off and accuse him of trying to rip it out of your scalp.... If you act like you've been hurt (not that I usually condone this kind of stuff except in extreme cases), you might be able to get him to leave you alone.... Maybe. If a guy was doing that to me and didn't understand (read: refused to listen to me) no, I'd probably scream my head off. I'm willing to bet that would scare them off for a long while (especially if they think you're crazy ^_^)

Posted by BonusOnus on 09/08/2009:
labtech, Start documenting every incident, including the times that perp touched you, and the times you complained to upper management and HR but they did nothing. Then go talk to a labor lawyer. This seems like a ripe case for them.

Posted by geriatrichippieeuthanasia on 12/13/2009:
HR probably won't do $#17 about it, but that is definitely harassment. He stepped over your personal boundary and now he needs to be nailed to the floorboards. Next time he pulls something like that calling the cops isn't a bad option. Better yet, if you have a friendly coworker with a camera phone handy, take a video of it happening and HR can shove it up their own wazoo.

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Frenemy Written by chubby girl on 09/01/2009Several years ago I became friends with a very talented coworker. He was brilliant and I was impressed with all that he knew. We were both assigned to a special project that was considered a plum assignment. I worked my butt off and he avoided work. The higher ups tracked the numbers and he was pulled off the project. He has seniority over me and I think he is poisoning management against me. I have no proof other than paranoia.

We were both assigned to review training material, also considered a plum assignment. No one else was assigned to this project. I don't know who suggested my name. I reviewed the material found minor flaws and good innovations. My frenemy asked for a written report. I had the sense to carbon copy my boss and his.

Weeks later I asked him if he suggested my name and he said, I wouldn't have ever suggested your name. Yesterday I found a 22 year old picture of our training coordinator. I remarked out loud "XXXX looks so pretty." XXXX happens to be my first name, too. Well my frenemy seized on this and said "hey do you have a mirror." No one laughed and the joke went over like a lead balloon.

I have done nothing to this guy. Obviously the friendship is over. I think he is a lazy slacker who used to be worthwhile. I used to think he was clever and creative. Now I think he's just cruel and juvenile. No matter what he e-mails me or says to me I just ignore him.
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Posted by labtech on 09/04/2009:
He was probably never a friend to start with, and he certainly isn't now. He was just better at pretending, but now you know him for what he is - a snake. Treat him accordingly and don't waste a chance to throw him under the wheels of the bus, as he'll be looking to do the same to you.

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I work in a nursing home. We all know nursing homes can be hell holes, but when you try to make it better and get no help. Worse, when u have to work side by side with what I have come to believe is the laziest group of people on earth, (as a whole, with exceptions, thankfully)in addition to being intellectually 'challenged', (again as a whole)it can be such a drag!

It doesn't matter how many times they are told not to do something or TO do something, they will do things the way THEY want when you are not looking, right or wrong. They just don't care! Then they have the audacity to act like as if they are the hardest workers there.

I do not believe that administrators REALLY care, because if they did, they wouldn't allow it. How can they not see what is going on? Better yet, how can the nurses in charge not know when every day for example, it takes two, not one, but two C.N.A.'s at least half an hour or more to feed one resident. You have to deliberately be turning a blind eye. It would take only the slightest amount of checking up at the right times (usually always an hour before they get off) to catch them slacking off to kill time before they punch out. Or checking the garbage cans in the incontinent resident's rooms. Or, oh brilliant Administrator, why don't you check the radio in the resident's room? Is it on a rap/hip-hop channel? Do you actually think the residents listen to that sort of music? Especially when they are half unconscious most of the time? DUH!

I actually saw a bedpan in the C.N.A.'s garbage today (the only time they make a special trip to throw things out). The only thing wrong with it is it had b.m. on it. They would rather throw facility supplies away than wash them!

Yes, you are such a great Administrator! You are so smart! You know that these things are going on, don't you? No, can't fool you. Or the top notch nurses you hire. You know, the kind who keep on top of what their C.N.A.'s are doing and what they are NOT doing. You can't even see what is going on right under your nose! Brainiac!

Maybe you are all just afraid of the C.N.A.s. I swear that is the only reason I can think of for not stopping this laziness that you are paying a premium for!! Or are you really that stupid!

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Posted by URFIRED! on 08/28/2009:
OPEN LETTER TO NURSING HOME OWNERS (AKA: CORPORATE) (I did not make it clear in the Open Letter to Administrators that the bedpan that was thrown in the garbage was not the garbage in the residents' rooms. No, that little space is saved for their b.m., urine soaked, diapers to smell the entire room not to mention the hallways. (And you wonder why your facility has odors?) No, they use their own huge garbage can in the dirty linen room for that so they have a lesser chance of getting caught. I have also seen cloth diapers and even resident's clothing with b.m. on it in that garbage, just so they won't have to rinse them out.) Now, I also want to apologize for neglecting to mention the all important Owners of the nursing homes. You know, "Corporate"! How could we forget you! After all, you are in the facility at least 2 to 4 times a year! You threaten, you promise rewards, which seldom if ever materialize. Yes, you strut through the facility, striking fear into the hearts of the employees. NOT! I am sure that is what you believe, but the truth is that that is when the employees put on their best "show". Then, and when state is in the building on a complaint or survey of course! These employees should be nominated for academy awards for their performances. It is truly inspiring how much they care about each resident! Well, at least it is hilarious! As soon as you are out of the building, these lazy asses return to their lazy ass, sloppy ways. (Oh, and just so you lazy ones know, families see right through this. You don't really fool anybody. Or do you really think the families of the residents are as dumb as you are?! No, that is why they call state in the first place. They know you are just putting on an act when state or corporate is in the building.) But I do digress so back to the owners. You are so concerned about the residents and the care they receive, it is truly touching. LOL!! You take the time to get to know your employees individually and know which ones are good and which ones aren't. You are forever vigilant in weeding out the bad ones. You know that your nursing home is only 'as good as your worst nurse or C.N.A.' or any other employee as the saying goes. Staff can feel free to go to you with any concern they may have about the resident's care. They can also tell you what is really going on when you or state are not there. This is because they know that you really want to know these things. You care! Of course you do! That is why you have such low scores from the state and your nursing home has such a bad rap in the community, isn't it? Or are you even aware? It is your "hands on/open door" policy that makes you such good and caring owners. You never believe that your Administrator is not doing his/her job when you are not there. That is what you pay them for after all! And of course, if you find out differently through a poor survey, or a complaint (even if it is a tragically ending one) you can always get rid of that Administrator and hire a new one! Simple! So you can just go on and enjoy your golf game. You really couldn't care less, could you? You never show favoritism among the employees either. That is because you realize that it is a team effort and that whether you are passing meds or washing dishes, you can have a direct affect on the residents' well-being. We want you to know it is apparent to us all how much you care. We know that it is not your intention to profit off of human suffering. You would put your mother in there without hesitation, right? You wouldn't even have to let anyone, including the Administrator, know that she is your mother, because you are confident that she would get the best care possible in your nursing home. Truth is, unless you hate your mother, you would never put her in there. You know, we realize that nothing and no one is perfect. Yet why should that stop you from striving for the very best, as opposed to just enough to "get by"? Could it be that you really DON'T care? As long as it is profitable for you and you can maintain the life-style few of your employees will ever enjoy? No one would ever think that you don't care! Well, whether you think so or not, IT SHOWS! You really couldn't care less! Turns out that people aren't as dumb as you think they are. But don't lose any sleep just because someone else's mother has to live in such uncaring conditions. It's not YOUR mother. I do believe that any Owner, Administrator, or other nursing employee that is truly caring and does the best job she/he can, won't take offense at this letter. They will in fact agree with it because they know that all too often, in all too many nursing homes it is true. It is a sad fact that the bottom line is money, not caring for the elderly or other unfortunate ones! If none of this does apply to you, Administrator, Owner, all nursing home employees, I thank God for you and all you do to make life better for these poor souls. For understanding that, 'there but for the grace of God go I'. Without you this world would be much worse off. Again thank you, thank you, thank you and bless you. Remember, what you reap, you will also sow. Your reward will be worth it all. To the ones it does fit, I know it won't even phase you. You have no conscience. That is why you are able to walk out and not be in the least bit affected by the daily operations of your nursing home, except for the bottom line: PROFIT! So enjoy that golf game. Who cares what peons like us think of you? We don't count! Of course not! It's your bank statements that matter, isn't it?

Posted by anonymous on 08/28/2009:
read: the last minute bush nursing home dastardly deal. explains why nursing home owners and administrators feel untouchable, at least for now. disposable bedpan parts are available, less expensive than a C.N.A.

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tech support Written by Alvin on 07/12/2009I just disovered this site while looking for suggestions/advice.

Story: Co-worker is an autocrat and never minds his own business - the two things that really irritate me. For example, he'll come to your office to chat for a few minutes and then tell you "you need to get back to work" (while pointing his finger at you) with a straight face as he leaves your office. Always makes comments about when you arrive and leave ("oh, you're slacking off" or "sneaking out today?"). Also, always meddles in other peoples' affairs. Wants to know where you're going, or why you're dressed up today, or why you're using another office, etc. Never shuts up, never minds his own business, and comments on everything. If you're trying to unjam paper from the copier or resetting the printer, he'll come up to you and ALWAYS comment like "you broke the printer again?"

And if you ever do the above to him - just to bust his chops once in a while - he becomes the most defensive person there is. Also likes to play office tricks. If you leave for part of the day, but plan to come back, he'll come to your office and turn off your lights (as if you're gone for the day).

What do you with someone like him? By the way, everyone, including the boss, hates him. Unfortunately, the boss hates confrontation as do all the co-workers in our small office. And he looks like Smithers from the Simpsons show.
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Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 07/13/2009:
I have actually had a co-worker at my last job who was EXACTLY as you describe. Be careful, this type of co-worker is dangerous because they are trying to (IMO) brainwash you into thinking they have some sort of power over you. What worked for me was to be extremely aggressive back at the person. IE: I wore a suit to work one day and my person asked "Do you have an interview" and I walked right into the persons cubicle and bellowed "And WHY do you think that is any of your business!?" Never had a problem again.

Posted by Alvin on 07/13/2009:
Thanks, SouthernProgrammer, I think you're exactly right. A few other quick examples. If you ever borrow anything from this person, he talks to you like you're a kid - "I want it back...don't lose it" while pointing his finger at you. I've also caught him telling lies when he's in a jam, but he's extremely good at making things up. Also loves to interrupt you when you're talking with someone else, but gets peeved when you do it to him. He is also very arrogant and thinks he knows more than anyone else, but that doesn't really bother me as long as he would just mind his own business and not talk down to people.

Posted by Alvin on 07/13/2009:
I should stop, but I want to vent a little more. When this "co-worker from Hell" walks into your office, he often likes to peak at your computer screen (being nosey). If he picks up a fax sent to someone else, he'll read it first and then deliver it to that other person. He also likes to walk in aggressively to your office and knock the door fairly loud. Doesn't like it if you do the same. He doesn't know how to apologize, say "thank you" or be genuinely polite. He also has a very cold side to him. You could have your small kids around and he won't even acknowledge them or say something a kid would laugh at.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 07/13/2009:
Yep, he's trying to brainwash you. Would he happen to have pictures of himself or awards posted around his office/cubicle?

Posted by Alvin on 07/13/2009:
Yes, how'd you know? Has all his degrees framed and pictures of himself and some family pictures. Office very neatly decorated. Write everything down in his Franklin too and uses two computer screens. Also extremely cheap moneywise. Invited people to a Easter Egg Hunt at his house and requested that everyone bring 12 eggs per child and their own food.

Posted by chubby girl on 07/14/2009:
Alvin, This guy is beyond redemption. Anyone that invites you over and tells you to bring food is a loser. He has worse problems than you could ever dream of. What kind of parents raised him that he thought that was socially acceptable behavior? You can get back at him. Make him think there will be lay offs. Something subtle that can't be traced back to you. "Geez, things have really slowed down, I hope we won't have any layoffs." Smithers will go into a tizzy and self destruct. opefully soon.

Posted by Alvin on 07/14/2009:
CG, That's a really good idea and you're onto something because he is very insecure and paranoid. I once passed a note to a colleague during a meeting and he wanted to know if we were talking about him. Unfortunately - or fortunately - we work in state government and it is unlikely there will be layoffs anytime soon. Never know though. It would be worth all of us getting laid off to see his reaction to it.

Posted by Alvin on 07/14/2009:
One other thing, CG, we didn't attend the Easter egg hunt out of principle. Like there's no other place to have an egg hunt and we need his yard! But I think he was going to provide blankets for people to sit on and eat their own lunch. I'm not making any of this stuff up.

Posted by BonusOnus on 07/14/2009:
Alvin, 1) Document every instance where he behaved like an a**hole (and yes, he is acting like one). He is emotionally ignorant, acting like that. 2) Like SP said, throw it back at him. I don't know how he can act like he does, but then get peeved when others act the same way towards him. If he interrupts you while you're talking, don't let him continue. Firmly say "Excuse me, but I was talking to . Please don't interrupt." If he gets nosy, respond by saying "Why do you want to know?" or "What business is it of yours?" If he comes into your office to chat, and then says "Get back to work", I wouldn't let him start chatting. If he came in, I would turn him away unless he need something work-related. If he ends a work-related chat with "Get back to work", I'd reply - "I was working, discussing a work related issue with you. If you don't think that this talk wasn't work related, then please do not come into my office to talk about this subject anymore." If he STILL doesn't get the hint that his behavior is rubbing people the wrong way, I'd throw it back to him. I'd start being nosy to him if he was wearing a suit or something. I'd interrupt him all the time. I'd do jokes on him. Since you're in a state job, I think you'd have more latitude to do things to him before HR gets involved. The best, of course, would be if everybody else in the office banded together and stopped taking his BS from him and treated him the same way that I recommended.

Posted by Alvin on 07/14/2009:
BonusOnus, Yeah, this guy is a piece of work. Nobody can stand him, but as I said, they're too laid back to do anything. And I'm one of the youngest in our small office. The others are in their late 50s and 60's and their attitude is "he's not worth it and we just don't give a sh*t about him." I've definitely thought about starting an uprising and I think the boss would join too if she only had the courage. One other example. This guy used to have an assistant and he would ALWAYS question her weekly timesheet. He would say "I had you coming in at X:XX a.m." or "did you really work X amount of hours." Treated her like a child. She got so sick of it she requested a transfer to me. She's been my assistant the past 4 years and I treat her like an adult that she is.

Posted by chubby girl on 07/14/2009:
Ask your assistant what drives him crazy; smells, food, clutter, etc. Then make sure your office is loaded with that trigger. Also play with his imagination. The next time he barges in look at him shocked like you just saw the grim reaper. Say "oh you haven't heard" wait until he gets curious and starts bugging you and then tell him "I can't say more."

Posted by Alvin on 07/15/2009:
CG, I appreciate your ideas, but I just don't talk to this person anymore unless I absolutely have to and it's work related. I don't even say "good morning" or "bye" when I leave. And to avoid talking, I just email. You know, it takes just one person to ruin the entire chemistry of the office - especially a small office. And that's what he's done. Any other place I think he would've been fired a long time ago.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 07/16/2009:
> Yes, how'd you know? Has all his degrees framed and pictures of himself and some family pictures. > I know this personality type. They are paranoid yet have delusions of granduer. While not a malicious type, they will stab you in the back while truly thinking they are 'doing the right thing'. A type of 'toady' yet waiting to pounce for power if they can get it. Here is how to get rid of them: Never do anything that will make this person think they have control of you. You MUST be firm to the point of being aggressive to get them to back off. You may actually have to "make a scene" in order to embarrass this person. IE: If this person comes over and begins looking at your monitor, stand up loudly and yell "WHY do you keep LOOKING at my MONITOR!!!" If he or someone complains to HR simply say this person is harassing you through his actions.

Posted by Alvin on 07/16/2009:
SP, Thanks for all the advice. I'm going to do it. And I agree with everything you said, except maybe the part about him not being malicious. The fact that he turns off office lights of co-workers when they leave temporarily - to make it look like they've left for the day - that makes me think he has a devious mind. And one other example along those lines. If you say something verbally that is work-related he will twist your words in a negative light when he emails others about it.

Posted by Alvin on 07/16/2009:
SP, Let me give you an example of the last thing I said about the "twisted" emails. He tried to call a mid-week staff meeting with the boss and the boss's boss and I mentioned to him that I had a conflict at the time he was planning to schedule the staff meeting. But I also said I could reschedule my other planned meeting to make his staff meeting. He turns around and emails the group that "Alvin said he can make it only if it's essential for him to be there." I never said those words. Stuff like that. Happens often.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 07/16/2009:
Wow, he is a malicious little toad isn't he? The one I had wasn't quite that cunning though he would loudly ask where I was if I stepped out. Your guy definitely has illusions of grandeur and wants to make himself look good. Even that email comment shows he is sucking up to the bosses while twisting a knife in your back. Try what I said and see if he backs off.

Posted by BonusOnus on 07/16/2009:
Alvin, I had to deal with someone like him in my last job, this sneaky little Indian who twisted words, had delusions of grandeur, and would backstab people to get ahead of others. I learned very quickly NEVER to communicate unless I had a paper trail. Communicate with him via email only, and BCC yourself. That way, you are protected. You need to expose him to the people above and around you about his sneaky behavior. For example, with regard to the meeting, if he asks if you can make it, tell him that you'll respond via email because you're busy at the moment. If he continues, be persistent and push him off. Then reply to him via email and BCC yourself. If he sent out email to the others, then you can reply to all of them and they will have a copy of your response. Then he can't say something like Alvin won't make it unless it's important or something. If he tries to twist your words and you catch him at it, raise the issue with your manager. She might not do anything but you are exposing him. You will have your email paper trail to back you up on it. You must document everything though. Otherwise, it's your words vs his and he's a liar.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 07/16/2009:
A friend of mine also had a co-worker who had one of these personality types. He dealt with his person by staring at him constantly for two days until the guy cracked. He would stare at him during meetings, during lunch breaks, and through the glass in his office until the guy was a nervous wreck. Finally, the guy left my friend alone.

Posted by JW on 10/08/2009:
I don't know if people are still posting to this question, but I will add my two cents anyway. I also used to work with a coworker like this. I didn't know what to make of the guy because he definitely exhibited some crazy making behaviors like the ones that Alvin mentioned. What I realized is that this individual probably had Narcissistic Personality Disorder and as a result he displayed behaviors such as acting like a toady, sucking up to people in authority while acting bossy to coworkers whom he felt were less intelligent than him. He also portrayed himself as being very helful in order to have control over others. He was also highly self-loathing. I couldn't stand him, either. And I realized that he was also highly defensive, because there were a couple of times that I would try to say something to him, along the same lines of how he spoke to me, and he would get angry or dismissive, but he felt that his behavior was perfect. He would walk around giving compliments to people about their work but if you gave him a compliment about his job performance, he would dismiss the compliment. The problem was that the floor supervisor knew he had issues, especially with time management. I don't think that she knew all of the little details of his behaviors, but she did have some signs as to how he acted, but yet she still refused to really say anything to him. She was very slack in her duties as a supervisor, so it was no surprise that she didn't say anything to him. Basically, it was very much a situation in which the prisoners were running the jail. The one time I got up the nerve to say something to this guy, he did the finger pointing in my face and basically got very defensive. The second time I said something to him was actually an incident in which I was actually trying to ignore him but when I told him that I didn't want to talk to him, he kept on pushing the issue and I ended up telling him that his ways were ANNOYING. Of course he got defensive and started to accuse me of being difficult to get along with (this is an accusation that people like that will often make if you do try to avoid them). So that turned into a very heated confrontation which ended in me quitting the job because I no longer wanted to be around him or to be at that workplace because it was a toxic environment, over all, and he highly contributed to that toxic environment. I also worked with another coworker who exhibited Narcissistic Personality Disorder and she had a very big Ego. She wasn't toadying or blatantly creepy like the other guy, but there were definitely signs of a troubled personality in her. She was also overly assertive and dismissive of other peoples complaints about her, but if you had the misfortune of crossing her, she would start trying to lay down the law. I left that job because I DID NOT want to work around her. She had a very bad combination of personality traits. She was nosy, overly opinionated, a big gossip, and always had a comment for every little thing but if you exhibited any behaviors that she didn't like, she would start trying to set boundaries like she was someone's mother. I don't know how anyone could possibly like her for very long but I guess it was because she had a socially adept personally and some people bought into her "friendly, bubbly act."

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Bottle Cap Frisbee ? Written by labtech on 07/07/2009OK...what do you think of a 52-year-old man who decides to play 'bottle cap frisbee' with a sharp, metal bottle cap, winging it at me twice - once he missed, it hit the floor by my chair, the second time it went right at my face - I managed to block it with my book JUST in time. When I told him to get rid of it, and if he did it again, he'd be in the human resources office being told he had a week off without pay, he snapped and snarled at me like a nasty teenager. I did nothing to set this off - I WAS one of the few people who used to help out this worthless dreck of a person, and I notice the favor is NOT ever returned by him. So it would take my boss threatening my job to get me to do anything helpful for this oaf, ever again, but should I say something to management that this happened ? I could have been injured, and it concerns me that this person may be mentally unbalanced.Read 1 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 07/08/2009:
I agree he sounds unbalanced, for a man of that age to do that he sounds a bit hostile. I would mention what went on casually to your boss just to let him know what is going on in case this behavior escalates.

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Do we ever really grow up? Written by chubby girl on 06/20/2009When I was in grade school I was subjected to bullies and fools. I had cruel and insensitive classmates. We had administrators and teachers who pretended this wasn't going on. I am being kind by saying they were fools. The bullies would make hurtful insulting remarks about me and other kids. I know I know, let it go they were kids.

Now I work with the same kinds of bullies. They send e-mails using the most juvenile humor. A joker I work with has even made fun of a guy with hearing loss just because he considers him a weirdo. This man is over 50 and very popular. One of the bully managers sends this joker outrageous insults and this joker distributes them. The manager covers his own butt and hangs his good friend out to dry.

Way back when no one addressed this bad behavior. Do these kinds of people ever get their come uppance?
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Posted by anonymous on 06/20/2009:
not as often as they deserve!

Posted by chubby girl on 06/23/2009:
I just found out the biggest bully from my grade school is a big shot for a major hotel. I just wonder if corporate America actually looks for bullies to make into bosses. If there were justice this guy would be homeless. I could just puke. He does look really fat and stupid in his picture. I will never stay at a Meyer Jabara Hotels! I hope he is not mean to his staff.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 06/23/2009:
IMO, upper management sometimes does pick 'bullies' to do dirty work in order to keep their hands clean. Henry Ford (the original) used Harry Bennett to bust up unions and break legs.

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 06/23/2009:
I have often asked myself the same question about people ever really growing up. BS at school turns into BS at work. You aren't far off the mark with your post! SP-- What would YOU do if your boss showed up to work with a tiger on a leash like Harry Bennett? I'd probably wonder if I had a wierdness magnet ^o^

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 06/23/2009:
you know, this post just gave me a wicked idea for a cartoon....

Posted by chubby girl on 06/25/2009:
SP, I looked up Harry Bennett on Wikipedia. I hope every word is true. This was the ultimate payback tale. Can you imagine how the workers cheered when he was fired by Henry II? It stuck in my mind that Harry knew nothing about building cars but he knew everything about being a wipe to the boss and mean to the staff. The more things change the more they stay the same. SP you are a wise man, thanks for directing me to a great site.

Posted by Jean on 07/09/2009:
I read this posts and sat back dreaming for about 10 minutes. I've been picked on throughout kindergarden to high school. There were times teachers joined in the teasing on students and myself.I thought college was going to be the best thing in my life. A couple of college professors were bullies and so were a few of my roomates and classmates. "Okay," I thought, "The working world has to be a heck of a lot better with mature and compassionate people." I was wrong again. I can deal with clueless bosses, but not ones that are aware that they are contantly belittling you and tearing you down as a person. I give up. My experience from work after graduating all these years was just as horrible and even worst than my school days when girls use to fight me and smirk at me for no reason and boys punched me because I was ugly. I'm thinking about starting my own business just to avoid working with coworkers and bosses ever again. All those years daydreaming of a bully-free life were a pipe dream. I wish I could go back in time and tell my 8 yr old self. "You know what? Don't be nice and trustworthy. Be a snake and evil. Half ass everything. Don't overachieve. No one cares if you volunteers 1,500 hours or have a 3.9 GPA or a yes woman. You'll get a lot further in life being a jerk and making people fear you." I'm kinda half joking, but I'm starting to wonder if this might be true.

Posted by WalkingInMyOwnShoes on 07/09/2009:
Paradoxical Commandments - by Kent M Keith People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway........... It's not a survival guide for today, makes an interesting read though.

Posted by chubby girl on 07/14/2009:
Jean if you do start your own company. You will be a success. You have already lived through the worst of times and know how to survive them.

Posted by chubby girl on 08/28/2009:
I am very glad to be off and not working with these toxic coworkers.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 08/28/2009:
At my last job, I watched someone turn into a bully. He was a young 20-something manager that was catapulted into a high position due to his managers retirement due to health. This kid went from being a fairly nice guy to a smarmy stuck-up bully. He acted just like Barney Fife when asked to look over a purchase order or to sign someones vacation request. He had the locks changed on my computer repair depot over a weekend because he didn't think I kept it 'clean enough' even though at the time I was short staffed by two workers. I had to spend a weekend cleaning the area and type up a paper like a kid explaining how I would keep the area clean in the future in order to get keys to the new locks! He finally had to resign in disgrace though, he was caught at a hotel with a secretary and someone called his less than one year old wife who confronted him at the hotel.....

Posted by anonymous on 08/28/2009:
saw it happening too, with a twenty something coworker during a job opening, temporary fill in and try out. she bullied the other applicants, made work impossible and narced. manager wanted to hire her. she found another job and did not have the courtesy to phone and cancel or bother to show for the final interview. then while driving she had a fight with her new husband and had a one car accident. he went thru the windshield. he survived and had a long recuperation time. his family is well known, she did not dare divorce him. and of course she insisted it was all his fault. supposedly he grabbed the steering wheel and over-corrected. they don't grow up they only grow taller and they are dangerous to the people close to them and around them.

Posted by labtech on 08/29/2009:
Yep, have the same problem; 25-year-old got promoted WAY over his head and turned into Emperor Nero overnight. He determined who were 'hard workers' and manages to get those people assigned to him all the time. Then he goes out of the way to make sure EVERY MINUTE at work is WORKED HARD by those poor fools, myself unfortunately included. He will hunt you down across the miles if you fail to round to the correct decimal places, and make you make the change and initial it in front of him, just to remind you of how lowly you are, how you are BENEATH him. But when he fails the tests for our lab certification...or forgets to order necessary supplies...funny how we don't hear about that.

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discrimination Written by meatman on 06/17/2009it is the middle of November of 2008 a female co-worker and I got into an argument.we are both meat cutters for a huge grocery store in northern California.she was yelling,I was yelling.then when we were both done saying what we said,we both turned away from eachother and walked off.there was 4 witnesses in the room excluding us.I then said to myself 'aint this a bitch'and shook my head.this person went upstairs and called human resources and deliberately lied and said I called her a bitch.I didn't find out until months later that she did call human the mean time,she was complaining of how she hated working with men and everybody in our store and gas prices were too high and how miserable her life the following week after we had our argument she requested to transfer to a store 2 blocks from her home.everybody thought 'great'no more whining and complaining or bringing us down.well she caused problems with 3 of the employees in her store next to her she then called human resources and complained about another she requested to human resources to transfer back to my store,mind you its 35miles away from her and 2 blocks away for me,and human resources gave her what she obviously now I'm iraite and fell discriminated against because human resources listened to a 1 sided story and never to this day ask me what had happened or what was said,.I know and people reading this know that to work in human resources you must be educated and have a degree at the least.she now bumped me from my store and recently complained to human resources again about me working at my store on her days off.and guess what?human resources said I cannot work in the store 2 blocks from my house even though the female employee is on her days off.I want to sue the hell out of this company for discrimination!I got accused for something I didn't do and I can prove to the company with 4 witnesses I didn't say what she thought I said.I want that human resource lady fired for discriminating against me for whatever reason she had whether it may be my nationality,religion,sex,tattoos,color of my skin and the list goes on.somebody please advise me...Add a Reply
Get to work Written by count2ten on 06/04/2009I work in an office that has 7 or 8 employees all starting at various times. Two of us “open” each day. This involves turning computers on, logging in with passwords, turning on cash registers, office equipment, lights, opening doors, getting the place OPEN for business. The business opens at 8:00. Our start time is 8:00, we use our badges to swipe in each day.

Since we start at the same time we open, guess what I do? I come in 15 minutes early and get everything going because the first client/customer/patient falls through the doors hurriedly the minute I open them. I can’t in good conscience saunter up to the door and excuse myself through the throng and unlock and get prepared while paying people glare at me and anxiously wait for me to get started.

Did I mention yet where my co-worker is while all this is going on? She comes in at 8:29 or 8:30 ON THE DOT. Every day.

I make comments about what it takes to open the place up before the first customer. I make obvious suggestions about coming in early enough, she always glazes over and gives me the “I DO get in on time, I haven’t been late, yet” response.

There’s more, (much-much more), but first, what to do in a situation like this?
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Posted by twiz on 06/05/2009:
Sounds like your co-worker thinks the start time is 8:30, not 8:00. I would confirm it with your boss... Or ask if you can rotate your schedule instead of opening every day, to come in at 8:30 every other day, etc. This lets management know you are the one opening every day, and lets them know no one else is doing it... and it might just get you some sleep time if they go for it! ;-)

Posted by count2ten on 06/06/2009:
Thanks. I have a hard time going to my boss, I feel like I'm tattling when the behavior should really be obvious. I did do just that, I asked for rotating schedules. I also asked if she could be told: where to keep her food, hang her jacket, when to make personal phone calls and how long they should be, how long break time is, when an appropriate time to go to lunch would be, who takes the garbage out, how the shredding is done, where the mail goes, how long relatives should stay and visit while customer traffic is high, etc. Pretty much all of the basics of what to do in the work world if it’s your first job. (It's not, by a long shot). The thing is, I really like this job and feel like I’ll have to look for a new one or-- poke my eyes out and then shove hand sanitizer in there.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 06/08/2009:
You are (understandably) upset because you feel as if you are doing more than is required while your co-worker simply skates through... Your plan of action is good, verify the starting time and ask for rotating schedules. Also make sure you know the full story with your co-worker. I have one who must drop his kids off at day-care which does not open until 8:30, so he comes in at 8:45. In his case he made sure the rest of us knew his circumstances and he also let us know he makes up the time in the evening. Sometimes communication is the most important part of a job...

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How does one handle a Lazy Co-worker that's untrainable Written by OCLADY1208 on 05/18/2009I work in a bank as a Lending Assistant. I trained the other co-worker starting the end of Feb. 2008. After 6 months I gave up when she told me she didn't know what was in her 2 bottom drawers because she never goes in them. WTF, that's where all her notes are and reports that she's supposed to be doing. Plus everything from the last person is in those drawers. So I left it up to the two Loan Officers that she reports to to train her. That's been since last September 2008. And she still can't retain anything they're training her. So I know it wasn't my training. It's gotten so bad, they won't give her anything to do because she'll just screw it up. When she went to Taiwan for 2 weeks, I spent that 2 weeks working with the Loan Officer correcting her mistakes and cleaning everything up for him. She's supposed to be helping me, but she's making it worse. Since I'm the Senior Lending Assistant and I report to the Regional Manager (Sr. V.P.), Group Manager (Sr. V.P.) two V.P. and one Assist. V.P. I'm quite busy with a load of responsibilities from the Regional Manager over the course of 9 years. Plus now I'm helping another cost center since his LA is on maternity leave. The Lazy POS that can't learn anything takes two lunches every day. She'll take her lunch while I'm at lunch when she's supposed to be covering the phones. She'll traipse back & forth to the kitchen, eat at her desk and read her Chinese web site (I'll catch her doing this when I sneak back early or go back to get my book). Then she'll leave at 1:30 for her second lunch. This is when she'll go shopping to the Mall across the street. Sometimes she'll be gone longer than 1 hour. Even though she'll only come in 1 minute before start time and bolts out the door 5 minutes early at the end of the day. Of course she'll spend 10 to 15 minutes in the morning making her tea and breakfast before finally settling down to work. She refuses to put paper in the printers or Fax machine. She won't put reams of paper in the drawers under the printers so if someone refills the paper trays, they can't find the paper. She won't file. So all of her filing has backed up and no one can find the documents. She was audited for three outgoing wires that weren't done correctly. She doesn't distribute the reports or mail correctly. So sometimes the officers get their mail/reports, most times they don't. Or they are swapping their own mail and reports to get it right. I tried to call her on her taking a long lunch and I was the one that got into trouble. She was 20 minutes late getting back. So she runs to her boss and my boss. Threatens me with a harassment complaint to HR. Her daughter is an HR consultant. The e-mail I got from her was clearly written by her daughter because this Lazy POS cannot compose anything in English grammatically correct. I've seen her e-mails that were poorly written. So from now on, I just bite my tongue. I don't speak to her unless I absolutely have to and it's work related. I don't understand how she survived the 1st Quarter lay offs. She should have been gone by now. But I think the managers are afraid of her. I'm hoping if she sits there long enough not doing anything, she'll just fade away. I know that it's being noticed. I just can't do a damn thing about it. Good thing is, I get the better raise. I got the better recognition during Professional Administration Day.
How does anyone handle someone like this?
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Posted by sympathetic reader on 05/19/2009:
You better learn to ignore her. Her daughter works in HR. You have a piece of nepotism driftwood there. I wouldn't tattle on her anymore. 1) I hate tattle tales. 2) Her connections are better than yours.

Posted by labtech on 05/20/2009:
Basically, since her daughter is the one in power, you're stuck with her until she really messes up, but I imagine that will eventually happen and you'll be rid of her. Deal with her only when you have to. Next time she takes the long lunch, or lunch #2, start asking management, innocently, "Where is she ? I don't know where she is." Note the times she leaves for her lunches. If you have to ask her a question and she doesn't know what the answer is, go to her manager and ask, saying, "I asked her, but she didn't know." Always keep a polite and helpful and nice tone, with a smile - after all, you're just trying to do a good job. Document the problems, what, when, where, and how you had to pick up the slack, because if she decides to file papers on you for harassment, you already have your own stack of papers that indicate there is a problem, and it's with her, not with you. Be unfailingly pleasant and polite. Be happy, too - I'm stuck with TWO of these wonderful people, and one is about the nastiest person you ever had to deal with, probably bred by Satan and a rattlesnake, and I have to work with her most of the time.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 05/26/2009:
IMO - Help when asked, but do the bare minimum you can without getting into trouble. Sooner or later, she will mess up BIG TIME to the point her daughter cannot cover for her. Keep everything documented (emails, letters, etc) in order to have yourself covered when this time comes. Out of curiosity and nothing more, is your co-worker Chinese? You mentioned she reads a Chinese web site.

Posted by dontask 0 on 05/29/2009:
Don't discourage her bad behavior. Hopefully she will run afoul of someone powerful who won't be ignored. Then she and her daughter will both lose their jobs.

Posted by KC on 05/29/2009:
it's the way the world works homeless guy ever had a father in mgmt

Posted by Fedup-Timeout on 07/09/2009:
Believe it or not, I had it figured out before I even read the entire post. Where I last worked, so many of the younger people that began to be hired into the company were relatives of managers and all of them acted like that and they never got into any kind of trouble. When they finally leave, they take all kinds of office supplies home with them. Paper, pens, etc. and everything they need for themselves and their children

Posted by debrafrt on 08/15/2009:
I have left 3 jobs because of this type of behavior. I am glad that you get regognized for your job.I wished I got that at my jobs.

Posted by Alane on 03/20/2010:
I have been training someone for two months. We deal with stats on employee accidents.I have printed out old reports with instructions on how to prepare the reports. I have also sent emails with examples and instructions on how to do them, I have shown her how to do the reports. She sent out one that was totally messed up, she was too sorry to add her columns up, after I have told her numerous time to verify and check her figures. Employee has demonstrated and can do the reports, but she is lazy, always talking on her cell phone. I just got promoted i was on a detail and trying to learn my new job. How long should I hold her hand? When stuff goes wrong, our boss will talk to both of us. So, it looks like if she mess up then the entire team messed up... and should I be blamed?

Posted by Heidi Schmeidi on 04/06/2010:
Wow. Wish I could help, but I'm afraid a co-worker and I are in the same boat. Almost the same story, down to the two lunches, even messing up mail... it's scary how similar it is, only because this means that there are more than one of people like her (this co-worker or yours). The problem is.. there is nothing you can do. Our boss frowns on our complaints. She gives my good co-worker and I the bulk of the work because it's easier than giving it to Baker (the bad worker) and then having to have someone clean up the mess and then do it right. We are so overworked we absolutely dread coming to work. How can we get our boss to see how things really are?? How can we show our boss that this kind of behavior just makes morale tank?

Posted by lazy+co-worker|utmcmd=organic on 11/05/2010:
its seems that the problem is everywhere... at time like that I just bite my tounge and pray the serenity prayer.

Posted by Sphincter Detector on 11/08/2010:
Time to play dirty... book meetings with senior people at or around her lunch time(s).. which will either ensure she shrinks her lunches or bring visibility to her absence. Book meetings and conference calls at exactly 9AM and 4:45PM to ensure she comes and goes according to her scheduled core hours. When you walk by her desk , bring her boss, your boss or someone else senior along with you so they can catch her in the act with her internet activities. Make something up as to why you need them to come with you. Give her work to do, have a meeting with your boss to tie off on the tasks so that her tasks are visible. If they don't get done, she will be visible. You need to make her accountable and visible. Stop doing her work immediately. If you boss is aware of this problem and tries to acomodate by making you do the work, then you have to work him over too. Tell him you can't stay late, come in early, or what ever the case may be, because you have doctor's appointment, have to pick up your kids, have another meeting etc.. but be cool about it so you can't be accused of not being a 'team player'. Slackers are famous for accusing others and convincing your boss that you're not being a team player. F'n hate slackers!

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my coworker is gross! Written by matilda on 05/11/2009Every time I look over, she has her finger either up her nose and then eats it or down the front of her pants and then she sniffs it. WTF? I don't know how to tell her to stop or report it to management. It's nasty and I haven't eaten lunch in days, not even good Mexican or anything, because I Have no appetite.

What do I do?
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Posted by avid reader on 05/11/2009:
I think this one is fake!

Posted by anonymous on 05/11/2009:
likely a fake. since the story spoils your lunch dieting should be easy. lose weigh and save money at the same time.

Posted by matilda on 05/12/2009:
why do y'all assume that just because a story is gross, it's fake?

Posted by avid reader on 05/12/2009:
It's not because it's gross, it's the way it's written.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 05/12/2009:
I agree - Fake.

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 05/12/2009:
this is is all kinds of fake....unless the poster works with my ex-boss!

Posted by Mister Bee on 05/15/2009:
I really work with someone like this. God bless us all ....

Posted by kc on 06/08/2009:
girls who pick noses turn me on

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quit talking about me!!!! Written by thetechchick on 05/04/2009Why are you making up stupid stories and gossipping about me having an illicit affair that I AM NOT HAVING, when YOU met your HUSBANDS here at this job (all of these cows did)? Your second marriages LITERALLY started as office affairs; in fact, a few of you were "the other woman" for your husbands for a long time. And you have the nerve to whisper about me ponying the IT guy and the H1B contractor??

So you have room to talk anyway?? Don't think so. And quit inventing guys who I allegedly slept with when I didn't. And why are you talking when your OWN relationship started on such a sl*tty note? Geezus on a pogo stick!!! I barely talk to any of you so leave me, my reputation, and my family alone.

I hate those cows.

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Posted by thanks on 05/05/2009:
i luv my indian guy at work, they are hot, let them talk about u

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Never Get Your So-Called Friend Hired at Work Written by Ms. Coping on the Job on 04/26/2009I learned a really good lesson...the hard way. You see I've learned that you really should listen to that little voice in your head that says "Don't do it"! Trying to help friends who are in need can later stab you in the back. You see I had this undercover narcisstic friend ( I will call her "Afro Puffs"). Who I've known for 8 years. She had befriended me when we attended college together. We both were new mothers and we had a lot of things in common. She was nice and cool to hang around. Three years ago she told me that she was going through a divorce and was struggling to make ends meat and taking care of her son. I strangely found that she was not too bothered about her husband leaving her one day...all of a sudden he said he was sick and tired of her ass and just left and never...ever...ever came back.

Well a position came up in my department and I told her about it. I was influential in the decision process of getting her hired (through my recommendations). The first two weeks were cool. Me and "Afro Puffs" would go out to lunch, work on some assignments together...and really enjoyed each other's company.

A week later...she went Schizo on me (I mean she flipped the script)...her personality changed into a real stuck up B**ch! She became this narcisstic ass who flounted her previous experiences and brag about her degree in Communications to every person in the department. She completely ignored me as if I was some stranger that was so beneath her. This Narcisstic B**ch forgot who was the one who recommended the job to her. I went to her on several occasions to ask if there was a problem. Each time she would say no until finally I got really pissed when she got smart with me at a meeting in front of my manager and other co-workers.

She stopped talking to me directy and only would talk to me through emails. The nerve of that "Heffa"! I only sat one cubicle away from her.

One day...I had to go "back in the days" on her. She sent me a email that pissed me off and cc: my manager with a complaint. I kindly walked over to her cube and politely ask her if I can talk to her in a back meeting room. We both walked in the meeting room and I closed the door. What did I do? I gave her my piece of mind. I asked her what was her F***ing problem and why she is being trifling? She told me that she does not owe me anything and that I don't know her very well. I told her that I must not...after how she has treated me (her friend for 8 years) like this. I told her that if it was not for me that her broke ass would not have had this job and she has the audacity to walk around like she is the BOSS. No one heard our shouting because it was late on a Friday when most people were leaving.

So I learned a really tough lesson. Never tell your friends SHI* about a job position. I will never help anyone I know or call a friend. When they come to me with a sob ass story...I will just say..."Wow...I really hate you're going through some tough times". I will only help strangers who I don't Fuc**** know!

I've left my job due to on the job stress (over worked, underpaid, and difficult coworkers) and health related problems. I've found out from other former co-workers that she is treating most of them (those who she can't suck up to because they are not management) the same she treated me. She's moved up to a position, bought a house, and is really doing well (from what I've heard and seen) and here I am sick and struggling to make ends meat! I just don't understand why people who only look out for themselves seem to prosper while people who just trying to do the right thing get demoted to "tough times"?

Questions for those who read:

1.) Do you find those who dishes out dirt seem to prosper while those who just try to do what's right don't prosper?

2.) I've been reading a lot of stories on this site. I've come to a conclusion that a lot of women at these work places are tifling, backstabbers, arrogant, gossiping, messy, narcisstic, stupid, crazy bitches. (This is not a sexist comment because I'm a woman who is tired of these personality types of women). Do you agree this is so? Please let me know if you are a man or woman that agrees.

3.) Do you think I'm just over reacting and need to just forgive and forget?
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Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 04/26/2009:
Sorry you friend turned on you, she obviously was not a true friend. Those who dish out dirt eventually have it come back to them, it may take a while but it does happen. Obviously (and rightly so) you are hurt, just move on and continue with your life your 'friend' may be moving up but she is making a lot of enemies on her way up and has lost a good friend.

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 04/27/2009:
I'm a woman, and I can tell you I'm sick of working with other women too. I just got fired from a job last week where the person who owned and ran the business was my boss and a woman who supposedly openly condemned things like passive-aggressive behavior, office politics, and advocated healthy work environments. All of what she said about it was total crap. She was abusive, demeaning, racist, fascist, narcissistic, messy, opinionated and self-righteous. She even kept a gun in her desk drawer. She cusses out her clients and even sometimes chases them out of the office. She never gave me or anyone else a job description, avoided describing the work to me in the interview, and has paid me late twice. The only thing I can really take comfort in is that she is already paying the price for her sloth and terrible character, since before I ever got to her office. She has no hips left (botched replacements), she is overweight (too many donuts and too much Mickey-Ds), she can't really use her hands for much, and she's losing her hair. After all that, I know that someday she'll be forced to retire. and she'll have no friends, no family and nobody who cares about her.

Posted by BonusOnus on 04/27/2009:
to the OP: 1) Afro-Puffs is not a friend. She just uses people. You were fooled. Learn from this and try to read people better. 2) I don't try to get friends hired at my places of employment based on our friendship. I recommend people based on their skills and talent as WORKERS. If my best friend was not cut out for the position, I would definately not recommend them because it will only lead to you looking bad and your friend being terminated later. The most important thing is their skills, not their friendship with you. There are some people at my former company who want to jump ship to my new company. But they don't have the talent or makeup to succeed here so I've put them off. I learned this lesson the hard way but I would prefer a person I don't really like who has the talent and temperament for a position rather than a friend who doesn't have the talent. 2) To OP and HADND, yes women can be sneaky and conniving but so can men. The best manager I ever had was a woman. She had my back. She didn't care about me just as a subordinate but as a person. She was the den mother type of manager and I still love her for it, even though it's been 3 yrs since I've worked for her. I'd work for her again in a flash.

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 04/27/2009:
Bonus-- Two of the best bosses I ever had were both sexes. My favorite was the woman, who I'll call "M". She's kindof the 'den mother' type too. Although, I haven't really seen as much of the male BS as the female BS. The most I've ever even peeked at was when I worked at the cardiology office. A few of the doctors would stab each other in the back to the patients, of all people, and say things like, "Dr. So-and-so doesn't really know what he's doing. You're much better off with ME". Really dumb, juvenile stuff you see in kindergarten classrooms. I haven't reallyl seen it at its worst, at least not yet. Got any stories?

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Displaced Agressive No-It-All And Fat! Written by notbitingmytongue on 04/24/2009ET(Please take your butt home)leave the building! God, this women I work with is sooooooooooooo annoying. She is about 60 (I am 53 - Please take me out now, if I begin to act like this women)and is a real pain. Generalizes every statement and every conversation. She has to be right (always wrong) and is a No. 1 BACKSTABBER. Oh, did I mention, that her busybody, medeling, condesending, always in your business, got and answer for everything attitude is enough to make you drive your car over her eyebrows! My bad!
She keeps telling everyone, that she is needed in Texas (family matters)- I am on my way to an ATM (at night) to get her some money and a Non-Stop flight - ASAP. I'll just say to her, that Christmas came early this year. Whew! I'm thirsty after all of that. Man, I love this website.
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Posted by CK on 04/25/2009:
Hurry! Call the press, call the FBI! You found a missing village idiot! Some poor village must be missing her!

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What a whiny brat! Written by mapler on 04/21/2009I work with this "woman".... aaarrrrrgh! What a pathetic little loser! She can't handle that I got promoted to Assistant Supervisor and she didn't. So she doesn't listen to my instructions, bad mouths me to the rest of the shift, makes up things that I supposedly said and runs up to the Big Boss's office and complains, etc. Everyone else hates her but they keep her around because....??? One can only imagine.

It's a freakin' warehouse! It shouldn't be a drama port. But it is. AND I HATE HER GUTS!!!!!!!!!!! She even cursed at me right to my face and upper management did absolutely nothing about it. Strange how it's right in the handbook that swearing at is an automatic suspension. Nope, she was back at her work station in 5 minutes.

What a dumb ass!
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Posted by sai on 04/21/2009:
you're whining.

Posted by CK on 04/22/2009:
Are yo over her? Are you her manager? Susspend her and be done with it!

Posted by SJ on 07/08/2009:
you realize you can write her up for insubordination? you can use terms like "does not work well with others" and "does not have respect for the company's mission etc." good luck

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I am not lecher. Written by sri on 04/14/2009I am an H1B indian and I think many of the british girls are quite hot, sometimes I don't know what to do. So I talk to them a lot and I offer to fix their software. I hear whispers that I am a lecher but I am not. I have a need to clean up my hard disks. Read 11 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by sri on 04/15/2009:
no thoughts? :(

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 04/16/2009:
Without being there in person, these situations are tricky to comment on. Perhaps the British girls are simply calling you a lecher just to have something to gossip about or perhaps something you said was taken wrong. The best advice I can give you is to ignore the girls completely. That will drive them nuts...

Posted by sri on 04/16/2009:
I do like them but I don't do any lechery.

Posted by BonusOnus on 04/17/2009:
Uh, this sounds really trollish....

Posted by the cynic on 04/18/2009:
Yes you are.

Posted by Clockroach on 04/19/2009:
Stop ogling them and you won't be called a lecher.

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 04/20/2009:
Word. Stop ogling. Western ladies don't like to be stared at like they're something you wanna gobble up. Do you stare at men like that? No? Didn't think so. If you want the ladies to like you, treate them like LADIES, not property or peices of @$$. Treat them like equals, not someone you have to trick into liking you. They're onto you, dude.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 04/20/2009:
Overall I think the best advice is to ignore the girls. You could be having a cross-cultural problem. Years ago, a friend of mine who teaches at a local college had a female Teaching Assistant who was from Brazil. This young lady would get right up to the boys to talk to them (normal in her country) and the boys were going nuts because they were misinterpreting her intents.

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 04/20/2009:
SP has the best idea. DO ignore the girls. The worst that'll happen is they'll ignore you back, and you can get about your day without hearing absurd things being whispered about you. They'll find something else to gossip about.

Posted by BonusOnus on 04/21/2009:
Guys, the OP is trolling....

Posted by sri on 04/21/2009:
not trolling I don't want to be sent back to india due to lechery i have not done.

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What happned to you? Written by sympathetic reader on 04/05/2009I started 1 year after a girl named C. She was very nice and bright. She even helped the newer people like me. She was always nice to me unless other black people were around, then she didn't know me. I let it go because I thought it was some kind of weird ethnic pride thing. My office is very backward and race relationships resemble the 1950's.

Years later, I sat by her and noticed she was very loud on the phone and she would even tell off the customers. Not 1 or 2 customers, but every caller that came in.

Management made her a lead. In my office, if you are really rude and can't do the job, you can eventually end up in a management position. As a lead, she offended many of my coworkers by screaming at them in front of the whole office. She even tried it with me but it was obvious she didn't know what she was talking about. Many of my coworkers complained about her. So they made her a manager.

Somehow she fell from grace, she was demoted and now she answers questions like I do. She calls off every other day. Sees a shrink. Calls the union in on every minor inconvenience. Asks senior staff for answers and doesn't do any of her own research. This woman doesn't even resemble her former self. Part of me pities her and part of me says good for you for screaming at your coworkers.
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Posted by CK on 04/06/2009:
"... if you are really rude and can't do the job, you can eventually end up in a management position. ... Many of my coworkers complained about her. So they made her a manager." And you want to work for a company that promotes mean and angry people?!? Anyway, it seems that is the way of the business world in most places. How sad ... As to the woman being demoted - sounds like she is bitter and is taking it out on everyone! Just watch your back because she could target you as well. Again, I would question why I was working there. From what you describe their business philosophy goes against my grain. But who am I to say much! I am in the same situation as well! But then I am keeping an eye out for an escape (new job) but the employment environment is pretty toxic out there! It is such a pitty because companies can do sooo much better - instead they turn toxic because they know they can and employees know they are trapped! Just as soon as the ecomomy turns and employees jump they will hire new victims ... I mean new employees, not knowing their toxic history and the cycle of (business) life starts all over again ... As employees and potential employees WE need to take up the responsibility of researching potential employers and former employees in our decision whether to accept employment with companies with such toxic backgrounds!

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She Finally Left Written by cushion on 03/16/2009Continuation of 'can't keep their employees".

Well I just found out that the b*tch of the golf course has left the building and will be working with her husband if she can pass the test. I remember when she once told me that she didn't pass the Police Test and she took it 3x.
This woman can talk and be all that, but I guess when it comes to taking a test, she can't pass it??!!!

What ever...she's gone, I'm glad she got a better job opportunity to work with her husband and do the shift work and drive farther than 12 miles and do paperwork too, I hope she gets placed at the women's facility about 1hr drive to the other side of the state.

Since she only likes to do things 1x and 1x only. She hates to do things more than once...hmm yet she got 3 kids??!! and 2 dogs. When I met her I wasn't allowed to talk about the weather, about her dog, etc.. it was strickly work, but if she didn't give me any work to do, what am I supposed to do in front of my computer...oh, play my gameboy next to the boss and have her sit at her work area and watch me work and see me thru the mirror to watch what I'm doing on the computer...stupid!!! she's so concerned about other people, no one could shut her up.

This goes on and on...but I have to stop because I no longer work at the golf course too, I left about a year ago. I went thru an emotional wreck and I wanted to hurt myself because I didn't want to go to work at that place anymore, so I left. I wanted to hurt myself so badly that I had to stop working...but I had to pull myself together and suck it up, but I am such a weakling. I quit!!
and now I"m in a better place.
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can't keep their employees Written by cushion on 03/13/2009Since I left my job at the golf course 1year ago, I was surfing the web and a job website comes on to my email...
I started to laugh...because the person who took my job after me...must have left shortly after I did...because they can't keep their employees. the Inventory Coordinator and a Snack Bar Attendant. It's the co-workers from hell who jam up the new employees. The already "set, do it my way" employee talk nasty about the new employee behind their backs nice to you face to face and try to learn and hope to "get it right" the first time and all the time and become like them. That's why the golf club can't keep their employees.. they are NASTY, B*TCHY, grumblers and just don't want any body to "move their cheese" that place is so unreal, I'm glad I left because that was NO PLACE job.Geez now I wonder why they lost the contract for the Fields Open, cuz of their bad attitude. The girl in the whse said "if they want their stuffs for the players, they have to come and pick it up, we don't deliver, and..we still have to do our jobs too. it don't stop!". All I remember was grumble, grumble , grumble from just 1 person and she's known over there as the b*tch. I wonder if she will quit too??? since they can't keep their people, she's the one chasing them away. and making the managers go thru applicants all the time. cuz she don't like certain types of people. she has OCD if you ask me.
good thing I left. =) I'm glad I left!!!
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Help the Stinky Guy wants to be my pal. Written by sympathetic reader on 03/06/2009My office has a guy that wears the same clothes everyday. He knows the job and he is very intelligent. He has been there for 25 years so no one in management tells him what to do. Of course this is the same crack management team that makes new people crazy with their bean counting.

Anyhow Stinky has been lingering by my cubicle lately. I may be talking to a customer for a half hour at a time then I will look up and see him waiting to talk to me. I assume it must be something important because who waits around for anyone for half an hour?

When I ask him "hey what's up" he'll tell me about his customer stories. I don't even think my customer stories are interesting anymore I don't want to hear his. Any advice on keeping him away would be nice.
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Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 03/06/2009:
Maybe as soon as you are done with your phone calls, you should start making more calls and just stay on the phone. Perhaps eventually he'll go away. Also, you could keep an aerosol can with you and as soon as you smell him approaching, you can mutter something like, "Jeez, what's that smell? Did someone forget to take out the garbage?" and spray the air. Or, something along that line... ^_^ An anonymous note on his desk might help too, with official looking letterhead, suggesting that he bathe, wash his clothes and use deodorant so he doesn't offend his coworkers.

Posted by BonusOnus on 03/06/2009:
SR, Just say something like "Hey, I'd love to chat but I have something that I must get to right away. Can we talk later?" When he comes back later, look busy and repeat the same line but not verbatim. Always smile and be friendly when you do it though. If he's smart, he'll get it. If he's a dim bulb, he won't and will keep pestering you. Also, if the smell bothers you so much, I would say something like ", do you smell something?" the next time he's in your cube. DON'T say it right when he enters your cube but maybe say it 10 minutes after he's started talking to you. HADND, At one of my previous companies, I had a coworker who was rank. I don't think he showered every day. He definately didn't shower in the mornings. He started smelling after lunch. I got one of those car deodorants that you hang on your rearview mirror. Then I put it on his keyboard anonymously. He got the hint and started using deodorant (though he still didn't shower at all).

Posted by CK on 03/08/2009:
SO do you want to get rid of "Stinky Guy?" Here is my solution. When you get a chance place "Odor-Eaters" in his shoes - Problem solved! And people will wonder why there is nothing left but his shoes ...

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 03/08/2009:
This is a tough one for me as I once made a mistake in a situation like this and 'ran the person away', this person passed on a few days later and it was obvious there were few friends in his life. I felt terrible. Since that time, I have always made it a point to listen to stories from people ranging from the maintenance staff to upper management, my office has at times resembled a revolving door of various people filing in and out. If I am indeed busy, I will tell the person "I have a deadline I absolutely have to meet, can we meet for a coke at 3:00?" and will meet them. Everyone can learn something from somebody else, even if it is patience. If this person has been there for a long time, obviously he is doing something that is valuable to management.

Posted by sympathetic reader on 03/08/2009:
Thank you SP. Sometimes I just forget about the big picture.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 03/08/2009:
It's real easy to forget about the big picture. Please keep us informed as to what you do and how it goes as this could be beneficial to others.

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 03/09/2009:
Ah, SP, you make us remember people are human. I feel like a bit of a jerk, because you're right. We forget that those are people out there and not other moving obstacles that get in our way or offend our senses. Maybe our poster could befriend Mr. Stinky and eventually teach him to be a little cleaner someday.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 03/09/2009:
Thanks HADND, I don't want to come across as a perfect person because I am not by any means. In fact, I have met people who obviously had mental issues that I stayed away from. But, it's these people that are 'somewhere in the grey area' that we can try and at least treat with some dignity.

Posted by anonymous on 03/09/2009:
can't change behavior unless the person wants to change. even a very sensitive hint and the smelly person will run screaming to the boss. had to keep my little jar of vick's vaporub handy for all occasions for coworkers, managers smelling like kitty litter, and of course the everloving public and kids who do not know how to flush.

Posted by cuberot on 03/08/2010:
Get some nose plugs and a can of that fart in a can. Fight fire with fire.

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Emotionally Immature Part II Written by GeriatricHippieEuthanasia on 02/25/2009I originally posted the other story anonymously here:

AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHH! I WANT TO RIP THIS GUY'S HEAD OFF! He's driving me insane! Oh my god I thought the kids I teach were bad enough, he's basically a 60+ KID!

Again, this is the short, short version. So two days later, I talked to my geriatric hippie coworker and he basically told me off. He tried to tell me that "we had open lines of communication", that it's not "normal" to write such "nasty letters". He claimed I "had some nerve to send him something that mean-spirited into his home" (I kid you not) and he summed up my behavior as being a "control freak". He said he never wanted to talk to me again.

He was exhibiting very childish, non-productive, asinine behavior. Believe it or not, he actually expected me to change my mind and "apologize" for writing my email.

After he was done, I told him "you're on your own." How is this bad for him? I basically have to show him how to do everything, and I mean everything. From disciplining the kids to giving assignments. Without me, he's naked.

I knew he would crash and burn, and that was the end of him. He, of course, did not take me seriously. He never has and never will.

Fast forward to Monday. Our boss gave us assignments to do for this week, and they were due very urgently. Geriatric hippie didn't have a frickin' clue what to do. First thing that came out of his mouth was "I don't know how to do this, can you help meeeee?", in a very pathetic manner. After all that crap he dumped on me last week, HE EXPECTED ME TO HELP HIM. JUST LIKE THAT. NOPE, NEVER MIND THE FACT THAT YOU CALLED ME A CONTROL FREAK, AND ALL THAT BS.

Obviously he finally realized the $#!7 hit the fan, and since he was in panic mode, he thought kissing my @$$ was going to fix everything.

I reminded him that he no longer wanted to talk to me. He said "I lost my cool at the time, but that's all over now." That's when I became very pissed off. It wasn't over. Not. Even. Close. If you hurl a bunch of insults at someone, you'd better sure as h*ll back it up. You can't half-step and dance around something like that, the damage has been done responsibility needs to be taken.

The next few minutes turned into a giant p!$$ing match. He kept bugging the hell out of me until I had it. When he knew he pissed me off enough, he threatened to report me to my boss, and that's how the conversation ended.

Today was more of the same. He pretty much pissed me off so much with his "You have to help me! I don't know anything!" Every time I told him no, that he can go p!$$ off. Nope, he came back and lapped it up some more. Again, he threatened to report me and the conversation ended.

I reminded him that I don't owe him anything, nor am I obligated to help him. He's just as much an employee as I am and he's a big boy now, he should know how to do things on his own. I warned him that I have no qualms about reporting him for his harassing behavior.

My plan for tomorrow is to just ignore him. Basically don't feed the Troll and starve him of any attention. That way I won't be stressed out, and I can live my own simple life without this stupid 60+ year old kid hanging around me.

I hope he quits VERY SOON.
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Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 02/25/2009:
What's ridiculous is he will probably quit and blame YOU as the reason he failed.

Posted by BonusOnus on 02/25/2009:
He reminds me of the sneaky Indian coworker "L" at my last job. Couldn't do a damn thing correctly and sucked up to me to help him. Of course, if I helped him or did his work for him, he'd take all the credit and then try to backstab me even though I helped him out. He did this a few times and then I stopped doing his work for him. I would answer questions and maybe go over something with "L" once but never more than once. I documented every time I helped him, including what I covered. "L" got frustrated a few more times because he still couldn't do certain tasks for projects without me doing it for him or me having to go over something with him again and again (which prevents me from doing my own work). He was lazy; if he had a question and he could get the answer by reading the specs for 30 min., he would rather come to me and ask me the question again and again, rather than do his homework. He kept coming back for help and I would point out that I already went over the topic with him. And I would ask him if he read the specs as I asked him to. He would lie and said he did but claim that he still didn't understand it. I told him that I couldn't help him anymore because I had my own work to do and I couldn't do his job and mine at the same time. He got mad and then went to my manager and complained that I wasn't helpful, that I wasn't a team player, and that I was trying to undermine him and withhold critical information. When my manager talked to me about it, I referred to my notes, the times I helped him, what functions or areas I covered when I assisted him, and the times I asked him to read the specs. How could I be withholding critical information when IT'S ALL IN THE SPECS? That's where I got all my information. I also told my manager that I was assisting "L" way too much and it was affecting my work progress. I gave him a choice - I can meet my deadlines or I can help "L" more but I would miss my deadlines. I also said that I would no longer take "L's" assertions that he read the specs at face value and quiz him. My manager told me to focus on my work -- that was top priority. He would deal with "L". "L" still came back to me for help and I started confronting him when he claimed that he read the specs but couldn't understand them. I quizzed him. Asked him questions like what was covered in this chapter, or what mechanism was described in that chapter. He fell apart when he couldn't answer my questions and then claimed that he didn't have time to read all the specs and that I should just help him because it was faster for him to just have me answer all his questions. By his logic, he claimed that if I saved his time, I would be saving the company time and helping the company out. No, I told him that it was in his best interest to read the specs and learn it; answering his questions was like me doing his math homework. It wouldn't help him learn math if I did it for him. "L" still didn't get it and tried that Indian shuck and jive act and tried to portray this image that he was the most knowledgeable and most accomplished worker in the group. I would totally f**k with him though - when someone else came to me for help because they knew I would know the answer, I would refer them to "L". This annoyed some people who felt that I was wasting their time because even they knew "L" was a BS artist and didn't know what he claimed he did. But it did help blow "L's" cover. My manager picked up relatively quickly that "L" was a BS artist. Most of the others in my group picked that up as well. So did people in other groups. He finally transferred out (and I hear the people in the new group are already onto his act too -- ha ha!)

Posted by CK on 02/25/2009:
Sounds more like a case of harrassment to me. I'd report him and explain that he will NOT leave you alone! But if you do report him that I would keep your cool!

Posted by GeriatricHippieEuthanasia on 02/25/2009:
It's very much harassment, and come to think of it, he's interfering with my work time. If he continues this behavior today, I will report him.

Posted by GeriatricHippieEuthanasia on 02/25/2009:
BonusOnus: Thanks for the story, I'll take your advice in documenting what I've done and what he's said to me.

Posted by BonusOnus on 02/25/2009:
GHE, Document everything. Document when you talked to him, when you assisted him and what topics you covered. You need to keep records. If you do, than it will be clear that you did your part in helping him but he couldn't do his job without your help.

Posted by geriatrichippieeuthanasia on 04/07/2009:
SouthernProgrammer: What's ridiculous is he will probably quit and blame YOU as the reason he failed. The sad part is he never quit, and he still blamed me for his incompetence. We had a meeting with our boss and my coworker laid complete blame on me. Boss ate every word of it and threatened to fire us both. After the meeting I made a compromise with my coworker: if he apologizes for his actions, then I'll start helping him out again (on a very limited basis). I know, total f***ing BS, but I that's what happens when you work with a 60+ year old child. I'll bet when he was a kid he was spoiled rotten by his parents- thus the air of sheer arrogance and attitude of entitlement. I seriously wanted to tear his face off and feed it to the kids, but then again he'll file a lawsuit against me and I'll become bankrupt for the rest of my life. What, with recent facial transplant technology and all, he can't complain.

Posted by labtech on 04/08/2009:
Yes, that's the problem with these people. Ours lies like a rug, too, and since his ONE SKILL is "Sucking up to the Boss" we get the ugly end of that stick, too - he's also our boss. We went to the big boss to complain about being treated like bad-mannered, incompetent 4-year-olds, and guess what - we're in trouble and he's the king of the world. The one skill that is needed to succeed in this life is "Sucking Up" - that's the moral of my story. Right or wrong, obnoxious or not, doesn't matter. And don't talk to me about HR, Union reps, or anything like that. My front door mat is more useful.

Posted by geriatrichippieeuthanasia on 09/01/2011:
Update: This was back in '09, but the idiot eventually quit and he lost the battle. Sadly he was replaced by another equally inept dolt and I lost my job due to lack of hours.

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Another Moron I work with. Occasionally. (thank god) Written by T on 02/22/2009So this guy, "M", is actually the guy who got me my job. He used to be my next door neighbour. He basically got me my job and then would not leave me alone for like a month. He'd listen for me to open my door and make sure he came out at the same time so we could go to work together and would annoy me all the way to work(on the subway in front of other people!) with his annoying Borat immpression. Likely he was eventually moved to another site so I've only seen him on and off for the last year and a half and we both moved so he's no longer my neighbour.

He's completely socially-retarded. In a way I feel really bad for the guy. He'll do anything to keep a convo going because he's so lonely. He's not malicious in any way but he's super clingy and if you ask him a simple question he'll drag out the answer 'til you want to take you're scissors and either end your life our his. Not only that but he constantly calls one of our co-workers on her days off to ask for price lists and floorplans that she's sent to him a million times and asks her to be ready to write a deal at 9pm on her days off which is past our working hours.

So lets fast forward to last Thursday when he was filling in for the idiot who steals food and like Plenty of Fish. My friend "R" was filling in for our admin like she usually does on thursdays and we usually spend the day chit-chatting in the back while we work. At one point I was in the front checking my email and could hear "M" and "R" talking in the back. All of a sudden "R" pops her head out and says to me "We have a tanning appointment at 6:30, right??" with a look on her face indicating to me that I need to say yes and possibly elaborate on that. So I go into the back where they both are and say "Yeah we have to be there at 6:30 sharp or they'll give our beds to someone else and we'll have to wait." Basically what was happening was "R" usually brings "M" lunch on tuesdays(my day off) and "M" drives "R" home. So on this day she didn't bring him food and he was telling her to BUY him lunch and in exchange he'll drive her home...UM??? Why would you offer someone a ride and expect something in return like food? LAME. Buy your own friggin' food and don't offer people shit, you dumbass. So then he says "OK well since I'm driving you to our meeting tomorrow at head office, you can buy me breakfast." She was like "uh well no, I'm going in with "K"."

Flash forward to the end of the day. "R" takes meds for anxiety and she was about ready to have a shit fit around the time we were about to close up. She takes he pill around the same time so she go it ready and started packing up. So then "M" starts asking he about how strong the dose is etc etc.. THEN he takes the pills out of her hand and starts googling the ingredients and the dosage on his blackberry....UM...again...WTF?? She takes off to the washrrom and when she comes back he proceeds to tell her that her dosage is too strong...Luckily I didn't hear this.( she told me after and she's to nice to put him in his place) Who is anyone, besides the doctor who prescribed the medication, to tell you that your meds are too strong???? So ya like I said totally socially retarded....The only reason these two idiots, the one who steals food and the one who doesn't know when to shut up, still have their jobs is because they rent condos from the manager and she wants to make sure she gets her money.
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Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 02/23/2009:
Whipped out a blackberry and started checking the dosage? Did he think he was starring in "House?" Many years ago I worked with someone who was socially impaired. We had to travel for an offsite meeting with other programmers to discuss a large project. In the middle of the meeting, while the boss was talking, my socially impaired co-worker suddenly pulled his briefcase on the table and pulled out a large handheld CB radio (for those of us who remember these things), turned it on and began fiddling with it. The boss stared open mouthed for a few seconds and then said "[co workers name], WTH are you doing!?!?" My co-worker replied "Trying to listen to truckers!" This was one of the oddest things I had ever seen, except for a co-worker who went mental and put another co-worker in a headlock and tried to light his beard on fire while laughing hysterically...

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 02/23/2009:
Thanks to Wikipedia everyone thinks they're an expert ^_^. This guy's a real nutjob!

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 02/23/2009:
SP-- Did your radio guy also say, "oh look, a chicken!"? He sounds like the wierdo mental multitasker (read: Scatterbrain).

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 02/23/2009:
Oh, SP-- Also, did that 'light the guy's beard' thing really happen? That's truly odd ^_^

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 02/23/2009:
HAD - Guy #1 really wasn't a scatterbrain, he was usually quite thorough though odd. He carried handcuffs with him in his briefcase in case he needed to do a citizens arrest. Yes, the beard thing really did happen! I worked at a warehouse and one of the employees slowly began sliding into the crazy zone. He would go sit in his car during lunch and just gun the engine over and over and over. One day, he was walking by another employee who had a beard when he whipped around and put him in a headlock and held a lit lighter near the guys beard while laughing hysterically. It took two men to pull him off while the others guy beard was indeed singed. At that point, the pyromaniac was sent to a mental hospital. 100% true.

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 02/23/2009:
Gosh. Remind me to never grow a beard! I don't think I've ever met anyone that loony!

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 02/24/2009:
Had, if you like I can introduce you to him! The loony guy was eventually released from the hospital and went to live with his elderly mom. I had to pass by the road where his moms house was located on my way to work. I would see him walking down the road smoking a cigarette and looking very disheveled with one shoe on and one shoe off... My Grandparents actually knew his family, they used to own a LOT of land in the area and sold it to developers so the family was well off financially. The 'loony guy' was an ordained minister at one time but then he found his dad under the porch....after his dad took his life. He had barely recovered from that when his brother repeated the act and 'LG' had a breakdown. Mental illness ran in his family and it was truly sad, yet scary to see because he could get quite violent.

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I would rather God take me than to attend another Group Meeting! Written by sympathetic reader on 02/20/2009This Wednesday's group meeting was the biggest hour long waste of my life. My boss was off (lucky guy) so he appointed a senior staff member to conduct the meeting.

This guy does not bathe or wash his clothes. He makes $30 an hour (in our area this is good money for phone work). Stinky did his best to solicit written work so he can get more overtime. If we cannot answer a highly technical question it gets written up and Stinky calls or writes the customer back. During his vacations Stinky goes to Russia and finds women who will do anything for money.

Other "senior staff" (read lazy old coots) took this chance to turn this meeting into a 8itchfest on how hard our jobs were and how we have to train ourselves.

A gal that never shows up to work regularly complained that only favored employees get to do the much sought after written work. Keep in mind she was demoted and she was my boss at one point. She gave me an evaluation that had mis-spellings and subject verb disagreements in about every line. Her degree is in Education. It makes me shake my head.

I pointed out that the company does not want people with poor writing skills sending out correspondence. She said the company should develop their employees and teach them writing skills. I asked her "Don't you think you should have your writing skills when you graduate from High School?"

Another girl said well it's the company's fault because they make us use text like abbreviations on our computer system. I guess under this rationale we should allow our children to spell anyway they want because they text each other and now they are brainwashed.

The whole meeting irritated me. I read in these posts and in the papers about how people get laid off and their lives are ruined. These fools have good jobs through the grace of God and all they can do is look for ways to avoid work. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
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Posted by bookwoman on 02/21/2009:
This sounds like hell. Another reason why I will do anything to avoid meetings myself...unless I'm leading them. And since I hate meetings, that just won't happen.

Posted by GeriatricHippieEuthanasia on 02/25/2009:
Sounds like my old boss. She would arrange meetings where she would just criticize us for everything we did wrong, and never highlighted any of our achievements. Meetings are the antithesis of being productive.

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Emotionally Immature Written by anonymous on 02/17/2009This is the short-short version, so you'll have to bear with me here.

My coworker and I work as tutors for a school. For the most part has been a decent fellow. He's an older guy, let's just say he's old enough to collect on his social security. He does his job without much complaint and he comes in on time.

The problem is he isn't very effective at disciplining his students (these kids are in grade school, mind you). He has the "nice guy" attitude, and in an elementary school environment that's like throwing a piece of meat in a tank full of piranhas.

Not. Good. At. All. ESPECIALLY in the profession of teaching.

Now about two months ago, he started having problems with his students. He approached me about it, but he did it in a very emotional manner- basically he b***hed about how his students were giving him $#!7. Thinking this was just a one-time thing, I brushed it off.

Boy was I wrong.

It happened a second time. Again, thinking this was another one time thing, I let it go. Then it happened a third time... and a fourth... pretty soon he started thinking I was his personal garbage dump for all the crap his students were giving him.


So I finally had enough and wrote him a VERY specific and detailed email. In it I described how I was no longer going to stand his emotional dumps, that he has to start standing up to his students or he's they're going to keep walking all over him.

Basically stop being a nice guy when it comes to the kids, and show them you're not going to take any more $#!7 from them.

He comes into work the next day, I ask him how he's doing, and he says "fine... until you ruined my weekend".

I wanted to tear this guy a new one. I was sick the entire weekend, hacking my lungs out and I couldn't even finish my homework from college. This guy, however, went on a Valentine's Day weekend getaway with his wife. Total A$$#0L3.

So I explained the letter I wrote to him. No can do. He thought I was just "slamming" him, that I was being too "authoritarian", that I was forcing him to be exactly like me when it came to teaching. Basically he tried to make me out to be the bad guy, that I hated his guts. He even said he'd quit if it came down to it.

I started thinking to myself, "Wow, this guy is acting like the kids we teach!" No wonder he can't handle dealing with the kid's behaviors! I can't believe a guy this old behaves the way he did. Most normal people would have the proverbial "Wait a minute, I think he's trying to tell me something!".

Nope. Not with this guy. He's waaaaaaaaay too full of himself to realize he's the one in error. I'm guessing this is the way he was raised.

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Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 02/18/2009:
Slamming Him? Too Authoritarian? Is this guy an aging hippy?

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 02/18/2009:
It just goes to show that age and wisdom are separate things, acquired separately, and at separate times.

Posted by avid reader on 02/18/2009:
HADND: Eloquently put! I wholeheartedly agree. He refuses to take responsibility and is mad that you won't be his garbage can anymore. Stick to your guns, you're in the right.

Posted by anonymous on 02/18/2009:
ROFLMAO I literally laughed out loud when I read your comment SouthernProgrammer, because you're right on the money. That's exactly what he is! I'm essentially dealing with a geriatric drama queen...

Posted by anonymous on 02/18/2009:
Thanks avid reader. I totally agree and I'm definitely sticking to my guns.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 02/18/2009:
anon - Duuuuddeee, you need to drink some dandelion wine and chill out while listening to Hendrix man..... :)

Posted by GeriatricHippieEuthanasia on 02/25/2009:
You guys can check out my other story, it's posted.

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Dave you are pain in everyone's butt, go away Written by sympathetic reader on 02/04/2009Two years ago I had to give a presentation on new procedures. I hate any kind of public speaking so I was already nrevous. Dave the human hemmoroid complained the whole time about our procedures manual. He harped on about how it was a shoddy product, made us look stupid and how he hated it for a half an hour. He had to add of course that he is an attorney and he would never sign his name to such a faulty guide.

My department has no control over this procedures manual. Locally we are not allowed to change it. After the meeting I waited for him got in his face and told him don't ever grandstand during my presentations again. I told him we can't change anything so go through the right channels and leave me out of it. He apologized profusely.

Well today some other poor girl had to give presentation on an unrelated topic. So this idiot starts the same kind of poor behavior with her. Grandstanding about the putrid manual.

I let the whole room know I didn't want to hear it. My exact words were "every week it's the same $hit from this guy." After the meeting I told him since your so passionate on this topic why don't you contact the author it might be a better use of your energy.

I have to sit on the other side of this guy. We answer phones. He tells every caller he is an attorney. I want to tell him look pal if you were a good attorney you would be practicing law or retired. Enough already.
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Posted by CK on 02/04/2009:
So this anusknot likes to cut everyone down. Take advantage of it while you can! He obviously likes an audiance. Call him out on the carpet! You could ask an open question of your audiance if they agree with Mr. Anusknot ... or ... you could state that you appricate his comments but that he had his chance for input prior to the presentation, etc..

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 02/05/2009:
I agree with CK. Call him out! He's just an egomanaic trying to project his shortcomings onto others! He's trying to hide something about himself he isn't proud of. Maybe there's a GOOD reason he isn't practicing law, eh?

Posted by CK on 02/05/2009:
First and foremost - be PROFESSIONAL about it! If he starts his rag then kindly ask if anyone else feels the same way. If no one else does then it allows everyone else point him out as the anusknot! All without stooping to his level. If his tactic is to interupt then politly let anusknot finish his rant and then pointly state that he "INTERUPTED you" and to kindly not to until you are finished. If he does interupt again, point it out to him again until he stops! In this manor you would make him look like an anusknot and you are taking the high-road!

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 02/06/2009:
CK, is Anusknot your new favorite word for work-jerks? ^_^

Posted by thelma on 02/06/2009:
The next time "Dave" mentions that he's an attorney, ask him what year did he pass the bar and in what state. Methinks he didn't pass the bar.

Posted by sympathetic reader on 02/15/2009:
He was an attorney fired from a local prominent firm. Nationwide they changed the errant procedure. He makes it a point now to say all his harping was worth it. I give up. I have to put up with him. It could be worse he could smell funny.

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 02/15/2009:
I dunno. I'd prefer the guy who smells funny. You can get rid of stink. Stupidity is a little harder to scrub out.

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Miss lazy 40+ divorcee Written by abm8790 on 02/02/2009So, I was so excited to get this job because it was working with kids. I am responsible and reliable, and I have experience working with kids.
My first day was strange...I walked in and asked what this lady wanted me to help with. She was like uhhh ummm don't really know...just organize games, etc. Do what you think needs to be done. (umm...OK?!?!) So I started to organize games and waited for the kids to arrive. While she told me about her divorce and her horrible life. I listend, I'm good at this. They all came in (the kids) and immediately she started to yell at them to put their things away and sit quietly grab a book and do homework. Understandable...hw needs to get done and reading is important. Anywho... I had to kind of go with the flow and guess what and where needed help. I communicated as much as possible with this person. Nothing went wrong until I had to take on a 2nd job to supplement my income. I would have to leave early and she didn't like this (at least I don't think) She complained to me frequently about how rude the school was to her...and how she had to work 2 plus jobs to help with her single mom situation. I could sympathize but after a while of hearing that everyone who spoke to her knew this...I was like hmm...strange. The weeks to follow were odd. She had a schedule and never informed me of this or anything else...but it was important for her to go over my job description again with her there. Weird... then she wanted me to do another part of her job and make lesson plans for the month. I have no problem with helping out like I am supposed to do, but she lied and said we were going to collaborate. When I asked if she had her ideas she was like no but lets look at yours. She hadn't been working on anything!! Just used old ideas and my ideas mostly. Then mornings she put me in charge of the kids while she sat down and scribbled on paper all morning. She turned things in but this is stuff that can be done at later times. I felt she needed to be aware and with the kids in the morning. A head in the company came to check us out and she put me in charge while she sat and chatted with the head. The head of course loved our work, but if she didn't it would have been on me...I'm sure of it. Then, I had picked up more and more hours at my other job and when I told her I needed to leave got all rude and told me that she too had other obligations etc. Later on, I came in and she completely ignored me, wouldn't let me do anything, and told me that she was the one running the show, etc. I was confused and extremely uncomfortable and upset. She wanted me to do the lesson plans again for the kids. I agreed like normal but brought this up to my boss...who said you are to add to her ideas. The next day I came in and she ignored me when I tried talking to her, I asked her if she needed help and tried to make small she was doing etc. and she ignored me. She said I was too nice to the kids and that they needed a more strict person. The kids came in and we would play games but she started to limit things and there were rules upon rules...they couldn't play a game and eat a snack at the same time. She actually went out of her way and told me to get up and move. Then explained it was so that someone else could sit down. She was constantly hounding me about everything I would try to do with the kids. Told me I played favorites, etc. This wasn't true, I treated them all equally...but they all had different needs. I finally had to leave (to the bathroom) because I was so upset and felt like I had to do something to help but couldn't because she was on my case consistently. I came back into the room and she was like YOU NEED TO TELL ME WHEN YOU LEAVE BECAUSE SOMEONE JUST FELL AND INJURED THEM SELF. So I came back in and helped the boy out, filled out an accident report because she never filled any of them out ever. I went to play with the kids and was making them smile and entertaining them/playing with them. Then she came over and said we couldn't do that, etc. and gave no reason why. On my way out once everyone left she told me I needed to reread my job description... Even though she never did things, and was constantly lying putting on a show for everyone else. I almost walked out but I didn't want to screw myself over so I called my boss and was quite upset when I did so. She asked what was wrong what she could do to help etc. and I asked if she could find me another person to work with. She then decided that we needed to all sit down and talk things out etc. I told her I didn't feel comfortable etc. She called her that night and asked her about what was going on. The coworker replied that she thought I was upset with her, etc. and she had no idea what was wrong. She said she would be willing to talk it out etc. I didn't feel comfortable with this and was close to quitting altogether. I needed the my boss called back and asked me to go in apologize and try to talk it out with her. I went in the next day...walked up and tried to apologize...she turned her back on me and was like whatever, then told me later not now. I said sorry, and she told me not now it's an inappropriate time to talk in front of the I waited til they all left and decided to try to talk to her. When I asked her if I did anything wrong she was like no. I thought you were mad at me...and said I shut her down and whatnot. (not true) I was upset with how the school wasn't supporting her. Then I proceeded to tell her what had upset me, her ignoring me etc. She said she didn't have to talk to me, then I told her I didn't feel comfortable around her, that I was doing things for her I wasn't supposed to, and she said she didn't want to talk, etc. until later and she was going to bring this all up with our boss. I proceeded to tell her that I was sorry I didn't mean to go to the boss about this but I didn't feel comfortable talking to her/didn't think she would want to talk to me. She was like well I've had nothing but good things to say about you, but you shot me down the other day and I didn't like that etc. I apologized to her and she said well that's all you ever are is sorry. Then I left and never came back. I called my boss later and didn't meet up with the two to talk because I didn't want to deal with her accusing me of being nuts. So my boss placed me as a float, and always treated me different from there on out. I'm still peeved about this...I ended up leaving because it wasn't enough money and I thought I was being given the lower hand in whole situation. I didn't feel like she trusted me. I felt as if she trusted the other person more because she saw her more than she did me. I'm still completely confused about what had happened that day that made my coworker treat me differently. If she kept telling me I was doing good etc. Why would she all of a sudden ignore me and not talk, but make me do all the work for her? I tried to be a peacemaker in this situation and talk things out but she was all about getting rid of me and making me look like the worse person.
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Posted by twiz on 02/02/2009:
She may have felt threatened by you. It sounds as though she was trying to make sure there was a clear line between you and her, and that she was the boss. From your recap, it does not appear there were too many times that you got along with her... So you probably did the right thing in getting moved to be able to work with other people. Her boss needed to know about how she treats folks... You did the right thing in my opinion. The next time she does this to the next person, her boss is going to think twice about it because she'll start to notice a pattern. And hopefully your efforts will have helped make a difference and maybe improve the lives of those poor kids stuck with her.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 02/02/2009:
It sounds like she wanted you to basically do part of her job as well as your own. Then, when she felt threatened, for whatever reason, she felt the need to 'pull rank'. I doubt if it was anything you consciously did, there are a lot of people out there with chips on their shoulders and a lot of people who are nervous about their jobs these days.

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More Ugh Written by T on 01/31/2009Remember that idiot sales rep. I wrote about a while ago...Well he's gone and done it again!! One of my co-workers, we'll call her K, left a bag of nachos here on Wednesday evening. Thursdays are K's days off so my friend fills in on those days. Anywho...I'm sitting at my pretty little desk checking Perez and he walks by and goes into the admin room where my friend is doing the same. All of a sudden I hear a bag crinkling and him saying " oh I'm so happy "K" left these here, I'm starving!" Um?!?!?!?!? You disgusting, CHEAP, sorry excuse for a human being...Guys there is a Subway and Starbucks practically next door but he'd rather starve all day or wait until someone isn't here to raid their food... A few weeks ago my friend brought food in with her and she shared with me because it was too cold to go out. It was hard-boiled eggs, broccoli, chicken breast and a bagel. So we're sitting in the back sharing it and then all of a sudden he walks in and goes "that smells gross." So then I said " well yes it must smell gross to you because you live off chocolate, other people's snack food and the little milkette's that are meant for coffee." He just gave me a stunned look. It was hilarious. :)Read 3 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by CK on 01/31/2009:
Sounds like it's time to bring in the exlax brownies!!!

Posted by BPFH on 02/01/2009:
Personally, I favor chili con carne. With habanero flakes. Lots and lots of habanero flakes. Best part about that is, I can still eat the chili. :)

Posted by sympathetic reader on 02/02/2009:
They sell candy making chocolate wafers at the supermarket. You can cover anything in chocolate. Do you have any pet doo-doo, coffee grounds or cigarette butts?

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Horrible New Hire Written by SunniJ on 01/04/2009I have been working at my current job for a year and used to absolutely love it, so much in fact, that I turned down a higher paying position with another company with benefits to stay here. My initial co-workers were all great, friendly, helpful people. There wasn't much gossip in my department at all either. UNTIL, a few months ago when the Lady that worked the first shift hours of 7a to 3p was offered a management position with another hotel and promptly took it. By the way, this company offers no benefits, no vacation, no sick days, nothing but a check every week that shows just how under paid we all are.

The replacement for, we'll call her "abby", seemed to be a really good choice, but alas, her front didn't last past the first week of her being on her own. She would make simple common mistakes with guest reservations, billing operations, and how to fix a guests problem in the system. When myself, "Bobby", "Kim" or "Tina" would bring the mistakes to her attention she immediately put the blame on someone else. She first attacked "Tina", by making up customer complaints and telling the manager, who in turn reprimanded her in front of the other department employees and a few guests that were waiting in the lobby. When she saw that it didn't phase "Tina" in the least bit, "HER", is what I'll call her, turned her evil towards our new part-time over night shift employee "Kim" who had been here full-time for over 7 years.

"Kim" worked a 10 shift on her new job and would come here and work the 8 hour shift. so you can imagine that she would be a little flustered. "HER" played on this glimpse of vulnerability to no avail because the manager responded that "Kim" sometimes got a little weird. Her next target was "Bobby" who just so happens to be my fiancee. He has been here for over 3 years and is greatly loved by everyone here. With his cool relaxed attitude hardly nothing really gets to him. Everyone knows that in the hospitality field many people will attempt to find ways to cover their stupidity. I usually come in about 15 to 20 minutes early to do some work from my shift which is overnight. A customer came in and paid for their accommodations with a credit card. They said nothing else and went on their way. The next morning when the guest was preparing to leave, decided that they would prefer to pay with cash. When "HER" told her that our policy is that night audit (me)posts payments at night for a quick check out for the guests the next morning and that forms of payment can not be changed after postings, the customer as so many do, said that the guy told her she could. "HER" then went to the manager blowing it out of proportion saying that "Bobby" did this and that. HER left a note for our department stating that we are not to tell customers that we do not accept cash. and emphasized it to "Bobby". So, in defense of my co-worker, I wrote a communicative response about the incident. WHY DID I DO THAT?!?!?!!?

She turned the tables on me. The very next night, our manager asked me to come in one night and show "Kim" how to properly perform one of our system functions and what reports to print with the new system. I told him that I would and proceeded to do so on my night off. I found a simple mistake that HER made and left her a brief note about how to fix it and what happened. Her response was I had no business being on the property while off the clock. She ran to the manager, telling him that I was on location off the clock, when he informed her that he TOLD me to come and show "kim" how to do something she felt the need to show him the note and the information that I left for her. she claimed that there wasn't an issue when she left and that "Kim" and I had done it and blamed her. We all have a log in name and our own password so it would be difficult to do something under someones log in id. When I tried to show her what it was exactly that we found, she continuously shifted the blame onto us, even after being showed the computerized time stamp.

Soon there after, people from the other department and staff in my department were telling me that she was stating some really harsh things about me, and some of them concerned my ethnicity. Yet, when she would relieve me she was all smiles in my face. So after calming myself and regaining my bearing, I asked her one morning was there an issue that she had with me, her response of course, was no, that she thought I had issues with her. I told her that things where being passed around and she denied everything. I figured that I would let it go and that things would eventually get better. I was wrong again. She began to lie to other members of the staff that I had said things that were never even thought of. Things began to come up missing and the cash drawer started to come up short.

The first thing to come up missing was the master key for the safe deposit vault on the property used for guests. Through out my entire time here I have never used the vault and hardly ever remember that it's even back there. When the manager attempted to go into the vault and realized that it was missing, he called me to the facility. After getting "Bobby's" statement he asked me. I told him that honestly I never looked to see if it were there. HER got defensive a little when "Bobby" said that after all this time why would it come missing now. Our manager had the local law enforcement to come and fingerprint us and the vault, Realizing that she also made herself look like a suspect because she comes in at 7 and the manager comes in at 8 she pretended to have found the key right before she was to be fingerprinted.

One would think that she would just give up, well, she didn't. I walked in the lobby as a guest was checking out and there appeared to have been a mistake on his charges that somehow gotten overlooked during my sift, just as she was telling the guest that I didn't know what I was doing on my shift. Taken back by the comment seeing how I have been here for so long. I asked the customer what the problem was and introduced myself as the auditor that didn't know their job. He chuckled because he was a regular here and proceeded to tell me the problem, that he was charged twice for the same night. I told HER to just adjust the charge with negative the amount over charge and it refund it back to his credit card. She looked at me like I was speaking alien and had no clue to what I was talking about. So she told the guest that she would have to give to our manager and that he was the only one with the authority to do that. Taking the opportunity to show her that we all were able to do so, because she may not have remembered exactly how to do it, or may not have been trained properly by "Abby" before she left, I asked her would it be okay if I showed her, with a very obvious attitude she said sure. (let's face it NO ONE likes to be shown up in front of someone by the person you were just talking about) When I was done fixing the issue and the lobby was clear, I stated that she need to be more professional. That if one of us makes an honest mistake, we don't publicize it to our customers. Besides if the rest of us did that she would like as incompetent as she really was.

By this time I and everyone else began to get tired of her, correcting her mistakes, running to the manager about everything, and being blamed for her mistakes that we all began to look and apply for jobs elsewhere. The manager got a little upset that we all were thinking about leaving so he made a memo that we are not to use the company equipment for personal use. FINE, I have my own laptop that I can use. Well, I forgot to delete some cover letters that were on the computer before the memo. HER searched the computer, printed, highlighted, and wrote a note to the manager of how defiant I was being by continually using company property for personal use and that she had found these on the computer. The sad thing was that the manager never got them, she forgot to put them in his box and left them on the counter by the time clock. So when I got to work I noticed my highlighted name and read it.

After a few days I passed I asked her about it and she lied to my face, I had the hard evidence that she did it. She claimed that our manager found it and printed it off. So i waited for the manager to come in and asked him, when he said no I asked HER in front of him, she threw a fit and said that she didn't need this and would quit. I told her that I didn't want her to quit, I just wanted her to do her job and leave my name out of things. I come here to do my job and that is it.

A few weeks passed and nothing was said and no attacks were made. Well, "Kim" and I had a miscommunication problem one week where I thought that she wanted to work an extra day, but really she wanted me to work one of my days off for her and she would work for me on the weekend. I ended up coming to work an hour late. Our manager called to the facility before I left to ask me to stay. ("Tina" called HER to ask her what was going on, and HER after calling "Kim" called the manger at midnight) We went into his office and he asked what had happened. I told him and he brought some other things to my attention. Such things that I was not being a team player and being vindictive and influencing others to be defiant. (He never said anything to me about anything until then) I admitted that i was using the Company laundry facility to do my laundry, (who doesn't)but I didn't OUT anyone else. He brought up a number of mistakes that I made (Each that had a note written to him attached to a copy of what I thought to be a mistake asking for his guidance with no response from him). I told him that I would work on the problems and he in turn showed me how to correct some of the things that I needed to know. Not noticing the next night that she had changed my clock in time on my card and left a note to the manager about how I was so wrong to have changed my time and that she adjusted it. I was once again called into the manager's office. he showed it to me and I offered a hand writing sample. I told him that I got there at midnight and left at 716 the next morning. He just sighed and said that he wants the foolishness to stop. I stated the same thing.

The company Christmas party was that afternoon, I didn't attend because HELLO i worked the night before and would be asleep until late in the evening and I had to work that night. HER took the opportunity to spread lies, that I had been fired, getting fired, that our manager cussed me out and so on and so on. "Bobby" took our secret santa gifts and came back home. The next day when a staff member from the other department came in they told me that she made comments about me and "Bobby" saying that the reason he didn't stay was because he was Whipped and took his orders from me. (he didn't stay because he didn't want to and had other things to do) So after i left for the day, the other department staff member used their mobile phone video camera to record her telling the lies when the manager left to run errands and changing the time on her time card as well as mine.

The next morning when HER came to work, I asked her about my time card, she claimed that she didn't know what happened and that our manager may have done it. That someone had changed hers as well. She then made a comment about this same staff member. I turned on the web cam on my laptop and recorded her. Everything that she said and the way that she acted. She then told the staff member that I had made the comment. So i showed the staff member the footage when they confronted me about it. As they showed me the footage of HER telling the lies and changing the time cards. I had the staff member email me the footage.

HER was good about playing both sides against the middle. She always portrayed this sweet hard working person in front of the manager, but everything that I was being accused of by the manager fit her description. When the manager got there that morning he wasn't in the mood to hear more foolishness. I told him that I had hard evidence of things and would like the opportunity to show him in front of HER. He told me to come back at 3 I was there at 230. We went into his office where I asked HER about all the things that she has been accused of. I explained that I am one of the most easiest people to get along with. It takes a lot to really upset me or cause me to actually hate someone. I asked her about all the rumors and the things that she has done as always she denied it all. She even went so far as to cry. Our manager started to to get upset at me for upsetting HER. So I asked him if I could show him what I was talking about. I opened my email from his desk top and played the footage of her doing and saying the things that she just denied. HER tears somehow immediately stopped and she went on the defensive on how violated she felt and betrayed.

I was extremely close to getting fired because of her. The manager placed her back on probation. she is still up to her sneaky ways but I can guarantee that she stays as far away from me as possible. Now the extent of our conversation goes no further than necessary work related information. And I am still looking for a position elsewhere because of her.

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Posted by sympathetic reader on 01/04/2009:
Reapply to the job that paid more with benefits. Let "her" keep the job with less pay and no benefits. If your boss knew she was causing all these problems why didn't he fire her? Something more has to be going on between this new hire and the boss. Could they be dating?

Posted by CK on 01/04/2009:
It is truly amaising that they would hire such a person. There are a couple of ways to view this. 1) She is totally incompetent. Eather put up with it, look for another position or work on managing her and finding out what SHE needs and what HER goals are. 2) Look for that other job - but considering the current economy, that position may have been filled already. Reapply anyway and keep your eye out for another position while watching your back.

Posted by labtech on 01/04/2009:
Yes, you're going to get stabbed in the back by this woman if you stick around. She's just waiting for the next opportunity, and she knows how to kiss up 'the backside of management', shall we say. We have one like this too, who is trying to get a better position in the company by backstabbing and get this, stealing other techs paperwork and destroying it, to make them look bad. Keep records of what she is doing, including the timestamps, if you can manage to do that, just in case you need it, and absolutely try to get that other job, or any other job. You saw her trying out different targets; this bully will continue to attack others in an attempt to make herself look good by comparison, and when you're constantly in HER sights, she will eventually find a way to hit you. She'll use gossip and lies and misinformation to change the truth to suit her goals and she WILL win unless you are prepared to fight with the right documentation.

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Ugh Written by T on 12/28/2008OK So...I'm a receptionist at a condo sales centre. Work is slow... My coworker is slower. When someone comes in to get info and look around they have to fill out a guest registration. At the end of the day I have to fill out a "daily" showing what time people came in, what they were looking for etc. They also need to be graded(A-C) and commented on. This is my coworker's responsibility. He's a sales rep. and does all the talking with potential purchasers. First off I have to drag my ass and give the registration form to him because otherwise he wouldn't come a do it himself. Second he waits till I walk by again or 5minutes to closing time to give it to me. There was a week when it wasn't done and our administrator got and earful from head office. And even though assface has been spoken to about it more than once...He clearly still doesn't give a shit. So next time when head office calls I'll be putting them through to him.

He also eats all the chocolate head office sends us to put out for people who come in. And they're not just little bites. They're chocolate bars about the size of a small cell phones. It takes him two, 6 hour working days to polish off a box...GROSS...And if any of us bring a box of cookies or crackers he polishes that off fast too. Whether or not he's offered any.

And the latest annoyance...He's been messing around on his cell for the last hour and all I've been hearing is a high pitched beeping noise...Its come to a point where any minute now he's going to be a human pen holder :).......Even though my other coworkers and I can't stand the M*****F*****, apparently, in his own words, "The girls on Plenty of Fish like me!" BBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAA loser... Thank you and goodnight
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Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 12/29/2008:
Honestly, it sounds like you need to be rid of this guy. He is conveniently providing lots of rope to hang himself. Just don't do anything for him anymore (it's not your job, right?). Just let him continue being a lazy douchebag and management will show him the door. I don't think you need to do much except watch :o)

Posted by Sympathetic reader on 12/30/2008:
What would happen if you left several ex-lax candy in a candy dish on your desk?

Posted by anonymous on 12/31/2008:
what a tempting thought SR.

Posted by twiz on 01/02/2009:
I had a guy who would come by my desk and eat candy out of my dish whenever he wanted. I finally got him. I put some "garlic" candy (trick candy) in the dish. Waited patiently for him to stop over. Watched him take a piece and pop it in his mouth. Within a few minutes he started getting funny looks on his face... he ended up running to the bathroom to spit it out. He reeked of garlic for the rest of the day. He never took candy from my dish again.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 01/06/2009:
No wonder he doesn't work! You do it all for him! I have had a few co-workers like that and I just let them hang themselves. Honestly, some people just think they should get paid for simply being themselves! Just order some candy from here and put it in your dish...

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 01/06/2009:
I think I'd just keep a bowl of the hissing cockroaches....

Posted by sympathetic reader on 01/31/2009:
They sell candy making chocolate wafers at the supermarket. You can cover anything in chocolate. Do you have any pet doo-doo, coffee grounds or cigarette butts?

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Lazy, Whines, and Lies! Written by rotifera on 12/19/2008I'm the kind of person who will try to work with anyone and will go out of my way to help people. However, my current coworker has burned me and other coworkers repeatedly, and I have reached the end of my rope.

I work in a laboratory, in a pretty self-regulating environment. Personally I love this kind of environment, because I am very self-motivated and I hate being micromanaged. However, it is not a good environment for lazy people.

My coworker is exactly that. Lazy. She is late to meetings, late turning in reports, and only does what she says she will do about 30% of the time. When confronted with her non-productivity, she will either apologize and offer to fix the problem, but never fix it; or, she draws from a litany of excuses for why she failed to perform: personal health problems, family issues, credit card/banking/finance problems, various technology failures (printer/car/computer/cell phone), etc. She is the most vocal whiner when any of us are presented a new task, but the least likely of any of my coworkers to actually PERFORM the task.

I wish I could just leave her to her own devices, but unfortunately part of our team jobs include raising live animals (insects) for lab studies. She often neglects part or all of her animal care duties. This means I or another coworker has to clean up after her. If we don't, animals die and we have no insects for our studies. She was recently confronted with this problem. Since then, she has started lying on the paperwork we fill out for animal care to cover up her neglect, and still fails to complete her job.

I just don't know what else to do. I tried to work with this person when she was in the neglect and whining stage, but now that I've caught her lying I don't see how to forge any sort of productive relationship with her. I have confronted my boss with this evidence, but I don't know if he's paid any attention to it or not. If he's confronted her about it, I haven't seen any positive results. I otherwise love my job, like my boss, and get along with all of my other coworkers. I don't want to leave ... I just want to see this person held responsible!

I've taken to avoiding my coworker altogether and not speaking to her. Why bother to talk? Anything she says may or may not be true, and in the end I (or someone else) have to clean up after her anyway. Talking to her just infuriates me, as she acts completely oblivious to anything she might have done wrong. I hate acting like such a b***h, but I don't see any other solution. I wish she would leave.
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Posted by CK on 12/21/2008:
One person complaining means nothing! It can be viewed as a 'personality conflict' if nothing else. But if you all have a meeting with the boss (w/o Lazy) and confront the boss then he/she would know how the whole team feels. I would recommend that none of you go in to complain and whine - exactly what you complain about Lazy. Instead, gather the facts, show the evidence, etc. in a factual manor, explain the costs of keeping such a person on board (money talks). And don't walk away without the boss's agreement and action steps. Make sure that your group and the boss's solution(s) are agree upon before exiting the office.

Posted by cam on 12/21/2008:
Maybe it is a good environment for lazy people because they can fly under the radar.

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 12/22/2008:
Wow. This person sounds like a complete peice of crap. I agree with CK, though. You and your cohorts need to all assemble in the boss's office and present your greivances, and ask that something be done. There are few things worse than pulling around dead weight at work!

Posted by rotifera on 12/27/2008:
That's a good idea, CK. Problem is, I only have 6 coworkers who have interacted with Lazy. One is MARRIED to her, two have since left for other jobs, and two have not really worked with her directly. The one remaining coworker agrees with me, but is too polite to say anything to the boss. However, I will keep your suggestion in mind if the circumstances should change.

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Smart Cookie or Clever Backstabber? Written by Innocent Bystander on 12/08/2008My boss, who is both kind and smart, hired a woman 9 months ago to fill a part-time job. The woman, who I will call Cassie, had just been laid off. Cassie was competent enough, and she did a decent job, but she liked to diss on other employees. She'd sneak around our backs and criticize us. The boss is pretty smart about these things, she didn't take them too seriously. Cassie was always playing the good employee and tattling. The last 4-5 months, the boss became aware of what she was up to and started watching her closely. But Cassie was smart, she used her position to cozy up to a potential client who offered her a job. Now Cassie is on the way out, and the boss is delighted. Read 2 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by CK on 12/09/2008:
Sounds like a happy ending for someone and the begining of a nightmare for someone else!

Posted by Matrix on 12/16/2008:
I like your comment! You hit it right on the nail.

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How can I deal with this Mr. Omniscient B. Arrogant Written by Figaro on 12/05/2008I work with a guy that has a perfectionist/arrogant streak that gets annoying at times. We're both programmers and recently I made a minor mistake (totally unintentionally and not hard to fix) which caused him to go in panic mode. He told me from now on to never touch those settings again and to tell him if I need to make changes to them. Well this pisses me off because changing those settings is part of my job and if I made a mistake, that doesn't mean I can't learn from it. I resent being treated like a baby. This person can be ok to work with most of the time but he is the kind that you walk on eggshells around him because little things can really irk him. He doesn't blow temper loudly, but he can be really nasty in other ways. A while ago we went to a restaurant and they brought everybody else's food, but they messed something up about his and it took a few extra minutes to get it fixed... he got so upset and told the waiter to take it away and he sat there and didn't eat anything. That really spoiled the mood. Seems like normal people are not allowed to make any mistakes in His Majesty's presence. The guy is very smart, but I think it got to his head.Read 3 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by Vanessa on 12/05/2008:
WTF is wrong with these type of anal people? I CAN'T STAND PEOPLE LIKE THAT!!!!!!! (Sorry I know someone like this and she irked the hell out me just today). I am too tired to write the story tho.

Posted by CK on 12/06/2008:
One thing is is he a co-worker? If so and it is YOUR job to make the modifications then DO! This other guy is NOT your boss!!! If the guy IS your boss then he is micromanaging you. He also sounds like the explosive type - not knowing when he will go off like a bomb. If he's a micromanager then give him what he wants - e v e r y s i n g l e t i m e ! Go to him with your work every chance you have to have him check it. You'd keep him so busy that he will be unable to perform HIS work! And if he get anoid then remind him that it was HE who requested the information.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 12/09/2008:
CK, I cannot agree with your advice. Going to someone with this type of personality will only feed their arrogance. They will feel that you cannot do anything without them. The best way to deal with a person who has this type of personality is to ignore them and do your job as you see fit. Eventually the person will go away, it took two years but my pain in the butt finally went away....

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Can't believe she's getting away with this Written by freeridenot on 11/27/2008The backstory: I'm in outside sales in an industry that is taking a major hit in this economy. No one is this company is making great money and we are ALL under an immensive amount of pressure from management, not to mention daily abuse from our customers and prospects. Consequently, we often call each other with a quick vent.

The story: I call LL (for Low Life) with a vent and she tells me that I should see a therapist for my work related anxiety issues and go out on disability while I look for another job. I pretend it was never said. Minutes later, she says, "Hey, didn't you tell me that your feet bother you? You should have foot surgery, go out on disability and collect and paycheck while you look for another job." I told her that I would not consider such a thing and she said, "Well, you're a better person than me."

The next Monday, she stands up in the middle of a meeting, bursts into tears and is carried out of the office. Lo and behold, it's a back issue. Comes back to work a week later, is there for maybe two weeks. Then out she goes again and has been out for almost two months. In the meantime, she's gotten married, danced quite vigorously at her wedding (I was there, I know), gone on a honeymoon, all while our company have laid off reps who actually work for their pay. She reportedly told someone that now she's got to have back surgery and who knows when she'll be back. It's interesting that she has not contacted me -- I'm sure she knows I'm onto her and not above calling her out.

Apparently my company does not investigate these things other than reviewing "Doctor" notes. If they did, I'm sure they'd see her driving all over town, running errands, etc. etc.

I'd love to throw her under the bus (and I did comment on all the dancing at the wedding), but I am a believer in karma and so I'll just vent here.
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Posted by CK on 11/28/2008:
Sounds like she would be on Worker's Comp with all that is 'wrong' with her! It also sounds like she was telling you to do the same as a means to 'protect your job.' The isue here is thst she may be committing fraud which is punishable by law! LL could become a jail-bird and spend some of time honeymoon time with Lana-the-love-starved! Nothing like a little girl-on-girl time!!!

Posted by Figaro on 12/05/2008:
I would totally throw her under the bus. What she is doing is clearly fraud. I'd make a few anonymous calls and report her to the right places. Once she gets investigated, she might have to pay back the money she got pretending to be disabled while dancing around. Dang, I hate people who lie. She deserves to be wacked.

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She gets more annoying every day... Written by bghjs29 on 10/18/2008I work at a company where we each have our own cubicle and computer and we pretty much do independent work. Because of this we can listen to personal music players and can listen to movies or tv shows online. Well there is this coworker, a lady in her 50's or so from out East (the place I work at is in the midwest) who absolutely has no idea how to use headphones!!! Everyday I get hear static as she tunes her radio and I get to listen to the pearls of wisdom from Dr Phil everyday! But the funny thing is I see that she has headphones and sometimes she uses them but of course sometimes I guess she doesn't. I want to scream so bad to shut the F*** up when I hear her tuning the radio. I roll my eyes constantly whenever I hear her voice. But one of the worst parts is that she has a constant "smokers cough" that is downright disgusting. In fact last week she thought that she heard me coughing and rushed right over to offer me a cough drop like I was disturbing her! I curtly replied that I hadn't coughed all morning so it couldn't have been me. I wanted to scream so bad why don't you just shove that f****** cough drop up your a**! She also makes these personal calls all day long and of course her phone rings at a high volume. Her personal calls usually end up with her yelling at the person on the other end and slamming the phone. She constantly bangs around her cubicle and when I have question sessions with the team coordinator it never fails that she barges in with questions of her own! I sit there and look at her dumbstruck, I mean how rude is that! I never do that to her or anyone else. And then there are the times that she gives me work that she can't do! At first I did it but now I curtly reply that I am doing a special project and I don't have time for that. I then inform her of the proper way of getting the work reassigned. She just storms off and I smile in triumph. And this lady is the copy machine Nazi. If you don't put paper in when it needs it (whoever really looks at the printer screen anyway?)or don't pick up letters and stuff like as soon as you print them off she comes over and huffily slams them on your desk. But of course do you know how many times I remove HER stuff from the printer and it sits there forever? But the one thing that gets my goat the most is when other coworkers are chatting or whatever on breaks or helping each other with some stuff and there is just a little bit of noise she suddenly says shush in a very annoyed tone! Like her constant radio noise, disgusting smokers cough/clearing phlegm from the throat, loud phonecalls etc aren't annoying! Sorry this was so long but it was so cathartic!Read 4 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by CK on 10/20/2008:
I've noticed that some people from the NE are rude and crude. I'm not talking about ALL people from up there but you can tell the ones from NYC, etc. One thing I don't like about some of them is that they can get so cocky when they are so full of sh!t.

Posted by labtech on 10/21/2008:
I AM in the NE, and our rudest person isn't even from this country - she's from a country supposedly noted for its hospitality and friendliness. Guess they booted her out ! But you can't change this person; just ignore her, because to show you're upset about her childishness may give her some kind of sick pleasure.

Posted by coffeeklatsch on 10/25/2008:
OMG, I know the type of person you are talking about. The best way to deal with her is to confront her. Tell her to put her headphones on. Complain every time she makes noise. If you act the same way she does, she'll realize what a tool she is. I had a coworker do that to me once. A smoker who hacked all day and then one time I swallowed the wrong way, and she was all over me about it. I took the cough drop from her and threw it on the floor and told her to get out of my face and to never ever ever bring me a cough drop again. I told her she was a hypocrite and to stop being so rude. She never spoke to me again. :) She would also listen to music at work without headphones, and after my little chat with her, she never listened to music again. Even her phone calls were irritating, screaming into the phone, talking loud so everyone could hear. She was from the south so I don't think that you can blame everyone from the Northeast. I think it's just how one is raised. If one's parents are clueless, I guess it gets passed on. There's an art to being "mean" to people and not having it come off as rude. To cut a long story short...three months later she quit and told our boss that I was the reason she was leaving. She told my boss what I said to her, and my boss told her that she couldn't punish me over it because all I had done was be honest. Don't be passive-aggressive like her. When she does things or say things that are irritating to you, tell her to stop and point out her faults. She'll soon get the hint.

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HELP ME OUT THEN TAKE MY JOB Written by Katey on 10/04/2008I work for a healthcare facility. A new girl started in June with no experience in Electronic Medical Records but was in the clinical field and had used software for her field of occupational therapy. I on the other hand have over 10 years experience with both setting up and running an EMR. This girl was hired to run a new software for one of our physicians office. I was to handle the other scheduling software meant for 10 offices and all the training for each employee.

The other day she informs me that my boss has just hired her friend as a trainer. I asked what we needed another trainer for and she told me that SHE was to no longer be a trainer and was to head up the implementation of the EMR for ALL offices. Now the hurtful parts are not only does she NOT have any experience she has been drilling me for the past two weeks about giving her files and information I had about starting an EMR. I gave it to her gladly as my boss had just informed me weeks earlier that I was to help her as she had no experience.

How do you handle a situation like this? I am 50 years old and am worried I am being replaced by a younger (40ish) person. Should I keep feeding her information or just tell her that I really don't know the answer and she will have to figure that out on her own.

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Posted by CK on 10/05/2008:
You're old and make more ... sounds like you're being replaced! My org just tried to do that with a contractor with specialized skills but caught on quickly and left for another job (that pays more) - leaving our org in a pinch! Depending on where you live, your state laws, etc., there may be nothing you can do about it. You could claim age discrimination but the company could just say they are trying to make a profit - and there is no law against making a profit! If you suspect you are being tageted to dismisal then I wouldn't teach them everything! I would list everything that you currently do for work and list them. Take your current duties as listed in HR and compare the two. If you are going far above and beyond your listed duties then I would approch the management with the information your duties have changed since you have started and that your position should also reflect the change (or in other words - self promotion with the $$$ to back it up)! If they bulk at the idea then I would revert to doing your duties as discribed by HR - period!

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 10/06/2008:
How have your reviews been? If they have been good you may be targeted for discrimination.

Posted by BonusOnus on 10/06/2008:
It could be discrimination. But then again, it would be just pure cronyism. She was picked over you because she has the connections you don't have. Happened in my last job. A guy who was not qualified was hired at a level higher than me even though he didn't know how to program a "Hello World" program. All because he was friends with another manager in my department.

Posted by indianadan on 10/06/2008:
I think you are in a delicate situation. If you obstruct the young upstart, you will seem to not be a team player to your boss, who might be in the process of evaluating your value to the team. Can you talk frankly with your boss? Perhaps he has a shift in duties in mind for you? Or if you talk frankly with him, at least you'll probably get a feel whether to seriously start looking for a new job.

Posted by Katey on 10/08/2008:
Thanks for all the suggestions. I was up for review in July and have not received it yet. This is my first review with this supervisor as she has only been on the job one year. The person of interest has only been on the job for less than 6 moths. The sad part is I left a fairly good job to come to work for a man I respected. I was promised my own office and eventually two people under me. He left six months after I arrived and now this. I am going to talk to my supervisor today and find out what the reasoning was for this decision. Why would a former respiratory therapist have the skill or knowledge to start an EMR when I have over 10 years experience in the field. I'll let you know what happens.

Posted by Katey on 10/08/2008:
Well my boss did decide to call me in and tell me of her plans to make the new girl the project manager for the implementation of an EMR today. She was pretty adamant about the fact that she felt a clinical person should be in charge of this project. I felt insulted. She said that I would not be able to relate to the staff and they would not listen to me because I did not have a clinical background. When I questioned this she tried to make light and joke about the fact that I had no clinical experience. I have trained hundreds of people on an EMR, I have 10 years experience and even worked on the team at my last job. I may not be an occupational or respiratory therapist but I do know a lot about an EMR. The person who got the job today had to have me show her how to download and install a freeware program from the internet. She didn't know where the file downloaded or how to extract the zipped file. I'm sorry, I just don't get it.

Posted by Sympathetic reader on 10/12/2008:
If your bosses are discriminating against based on age they are valuing youth over experience. You cannot internalize this and think it's your fault. Karma eventually will occur but you have to do your part. Try to get out of there, if the stress causes you grief. When i started my job we had 2 male schmoozers. We noticed the company watched the women like hawks but these two had a free pass to do whatever they wanted. Every time there was a plum assignment who got it? Rich and Larry. There reviews were great and they found paradise. Rich even got his son a job there. Time went on and Rich turned out to be sue happy. He ended up with bosses who were fair and wanted to know why he was walking around socializing while the rest of us worked. Every time he had a review he was threatening to call his attorney. Rich realized they wouldn't pay him to schmooze so he retired. Now they target his son and make sure he is working every minute of every day. Sins of the father I guess. Larry ended up with a higher paying job he is not qualified for. I understand he hates it and is looking for another job outside our company. Everything comes full circle. It is very frustrating. Do your job, don't bad mouth this woman at work, try to ignore others, vent here at jobschmob and wait. You'll see she will be her own undoing.

Posted by Katey on 10/15/2008:
Thanks sympathetic reader your advice is taken. I have been very nice to this woman, you know keep your friends close and your enemies closer. I also help her out when I can but make sure my boss is withing hearing range so she knows I'm helping her. Like yesterday, she kept complaining because she couldn't print a label correctly. When my boss entered the room to see what the problem was I offered to help and was very nice about it. My husband says I'm stupid to help her but I don't mind as long as my boss is aware of it. I'm hoping to prove my worth.

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How should I handle this? Written by BonusOnus on 08/05/2008So that sneaky coworker "L" is on his way out. Next week is officially his last days in my group.

Some of my other teammates want to give him a going away present and stage a lunch. I despise the guy. So do a few others in my group. So we talked about not attending the lunch and not chipping in for a going away present.

I am wondering though if this is in bad taste or not. Should I skip the lunch? I really can't stand the guy and I've never pretended to like someone if I really didn't.

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Posted by thelma on 08/06/2008:
I would skip the lunch/gift. This is a voluntary thing. There's no office rule that you HAVE to take someone to lunch and/or chip in for a gift.

Posted by Catbox on 08/06/2008:
If "L" could ever have the upper-hand on you in any way and/or if anyone attending the lunch/chipping-in on the gift likes "L" and could ever have the upper-hand on you in any way, I would participate in some way. And in some strange way, when you say to "L" "I'm glad your leaving" you would really mean it. It is important to be true to yourself but if not participating will make you look bad to someone important, it may come back to haunt you. I've seen a lot of this sort of thing. It is ridiculous and childish but it happens.

Posted by thelma on 08/06/2008:
Call in sick on the day of the going away lunch and "forget" to sign the card and chip in for a gift.

Posted by CK on 08/06/2008:
Have a party WITHOUT him! Sounds like ya'll should be up for a BIG parrrrTY!

Posted by dontask 0 on 08/06/2008:
Be gracious, chip in as little as you can get away with but make sure to sign the card. Believe me it can be held against you and it will. It happened to me. A card for a very unpleasant person was passed around for signing before I started work. I did not see it, there were no reminders. That little oversight earned me a nasty rebuke on my yearly rating.

Posted by stangsally on 08/07/2008:
Go to the lunch, I am sure you get along with some of the others who will be there, so go have a good time talking with others and havig a good meal. All in all i really dont think if you guys didnt get along to well that he is going to spend all lunch making your day miserable, hes going to spend it talking with his fav people. your co workers will see it as you not being a team player if you dont at least go for a little while.

Posted by BonusOnus on 08/07/2008:
Catbox, "L" might one day get an upper hand with me if I ever run into him at another company. I'm leaving so it's doubtful I will see him again anytime soon. However, this valley is small so I might run into him again in another environment. But...he already knows I'm onto his BS and he's backstabbed me multiple times now - I doubt he won't try to backstab me in the future in another time just because I didn't attend his lunch or chip in for a gift.

Posted by BonusOnus on 08/07/2008:
One other thing - it's not just me who's talked about boycotting this lunch. A few others have expressed a desire not to attend either because they despise him and got backstabbed by him too. It's not like I won't be the only one not there. It will look awkward though if about half the team doesn't show up though.

Posted by BonusOnus on 08/07/2008:
CK, A funny story to this. In the last staff meeting when it was announced that he was leaving, he suggested that we have a party for him because he was leaving. Me, being a smartass and not caring because I'm on the way out, spoke up and said "Yeah, that (the party) would be great. Let's make it a fiesta/Mexican theme. Can we use you as a human pinata?" There were guffaws of laughter. One teammate bust a gut from laughing so hard. L wasn't laughing because he had no idea what a pinata was because he's from India.

Posted by CK on 08/07/2008:
I like the Mexican party the best!

Posted by BigBadBill on 08/18/2008:
That's how you know what your co-workers think of you: is the going-away party the day before or the day after you leave...

Posted by Figaro on 12/05/2008:
That was awesome. I don't know if I woulda had the guts to say the thing about the pinata, but I don't blame you. Maybe you should attend the party and make a simple pinata costume and give it to him as a gift... tell him he needs to wear it at the party.

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When is this sneaky snake going to get out? Written by BonusOnus on 07/31/2008So I'm having big problems with this sneaky Indian coworker "L". Well, he did something sneaky again and I just found out about it today.

I was assigned to rewrite a module and I haven't even started it because I have another task that is a higher priority. This task is writing up a design spec for my rewrite so it shows the impact of my code changes. My manager wants it complete by tomorrow so I've been busy working on it.

I come to work for a meeting with other groups who need to use my module and have been waiting on it. I could have jumped ahead to code instead of writing up the docs but the other group said that they need the docs first to prepare their code to work with mine.

I check my email and a developer in the other group sends me email saying that he wants "L" to attend our meeting because "L" claims that he's already rewrote the module. That took me by surprise. It took my manager by surprise. My manager told me that L has a list of tasks that he was assigned to do and that L hasn't completed any of them. He and I were wondering what this snake is doing.

I suspect that he's trying to make me look bad by doing work assigned to me and then claiming that I am too slow or he is much better at it than me, all the while ignoring his own tasks. My manager knows what's going on but people in the other group do not.

And because of L's previous behavior, we don't know if he even completed my task as he is claiming.

He is pissing off so many people here - his own teammates, his manager, and people in other groups with his sneaky behavior.

I'm fighting back. He's transferring out and I know of 3 other people, in addition to myself, who are personally going to talk to his future teammates and let them know what kind of person he really is.

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Posted by twiz on 07/31/2008:
Sounds like "L" is my old boss! I had an Indian boss who would could never admit he did not know something. He would take on tons of assignments in meetings with bigwigs, only to find he could not complete them later and dump them off on us... Only to swoop in later at the end and re-claim the project as we were about to finish... Then he would "take it from here" and let the big wigs know it was ready... Taking credit of course. Although in our case, we were a fairly small company... and if someone is not playing well with others... management tends to hear about it. He was demoted and ended up quitting.

Posted by CK on 07/31/2008:
You may not have to do anything ... give'em enough rope and he'll hang himself!

Posted by BonusOnus on 08/01/2008:
CK, he's already hanged himself here in his current group. He's jumping to a new dept. I've already talked to someone I know there and given him a heads-up about this snake.

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Hating On The Cute Over Acheiver Written by Good Heart / Broken Dreams on 07/20/2008I got a job as a receptionist for a production company, being a receptionist I was told to file four years of misfiled boxes, that was my first task. I did it, on top of answering in-bound phone calls and customers coming in the door. I was doing a great job and obviously threatened my co-worker (she was never assigned as my "manager") I'll call her Sera.

Every task or whim that was thrown to me was completed and on time. At one point, because of Sera's knack for putting major projects on the back burner until last minute, I had to drive two hours on my Friday night to deliver a product to a customer. That's dedication! I didn't even get a thank you, instead it was my boss's belief that it was my fault and my procrastination that caused the project to be rushed and personally delivered. I wasn't hired for sales however Sera kept pushing me to handle sales calls when they came in, hinting that if I didn't show enthusiasm then I wasn't right for the job.

So here I am, taking ALL calls into the business, with up to three lines on hold while Sera (in the next room) refused to take a call, a sales call. After things would calm down she would emerge with a critique, usually pointing out all of my incorrect sales qoutes (she's never gave me the correct ones, even after I asked several times). This all went back to the owner. At this point I was picking up/ delivering products, placing product orders, making sales quotes, taking orders, shipping products, getting quotes from other vendors, ordering lunch, picking up lunch, sending out mail, making flyers, taking inbound calls of all levels while doing normal assistant things like getting the company vehicles oil changing and fixing the phone lines. I didn't let the job bog me down but after 5 months I wanted a raise and after filling out a self evaluation form the owner told me Sera would have to approve the raise. WHAT. This, after Sera took a 2 week vacation from work, expecting me to fail she came back to the office to find I reorganized her eff'd up method and the employees really liked me.

Around thanksgiving a friend committed suicide and I didn't take a day off, instead I was told to keep personal life out the door, then I was homeless for about week and still I kept my job life separated and at bay. Sera, however, brought her family drama into the office everyday, often times i found myself babysitting her kids while I did my huge job. Sera often would bring me into her office to give me a hard time about my clothes (I wore business casual/formal) while she wore huge t shirts and jeans, all the while laying her family problems on the line to show me my life wasn't that serious. Finally, after being homeless and distraught and denied a raise I was fired, at the end of the day because "my attitude was not what they wanted for the company" and after "several evaluations" it was decided they didn't need me. WTF.
So, I have learned that women who feel ugly or threatened by me have a vendetta for me. I don't try to look pretty at work, I just do the best job I can and I get hated on it for it. Ack!
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Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 07/21/2008:
Sera wasn't your boss and still harrassed you like that? Next time I would check with a person you KNOW is your manager to see what that persons job function is. I once had a co-worker try this with me and I asked my boss point blank was my co-worker a supervisor and my boss replied "NO". The next time the co-worker tried to assign a job to me I told him I would ask our boss if that was ok and he quickly replied "Never mind, I'll handle this!" and never bothered me again.

Posted by Dental Receptionist on 08/10/2008:
Don't you hate that the last guy always finishes last. Don't worry karma is a bitch, I'm sure you'll find somewhere much more deserving of you.

Posted by wakeup on 08/13/2008:
I have news for you: If she supervised your daily tasks, had to approve your raise and was able to terminate you, she *was* your manager. Smaller companies don't always like to award that title because they'll have to pay the supervisor more. You gotta learn to read situations better if you want to get along. I doubt it was because you are cuter.

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 08/19/2008:
I think the only reason why this person was getting away with this is because you were letting her. If she isn't doing her job, is making you do HER work and is laying about all day doing nothing, you need to bring this to the supervisor's attention, and explain that you are feeling overloaded because you've had to take on most of another's work. Don't get discouraged! If your supervisor refuses to correct the issue, find another job and split! Don't let 'being comfortable' keep you from going out and finding something new! Keep your chin up!

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 08/19/2008:
ERm, I just read the very last part. You're in MY shoes. Still, don't let this discourage you. This happens to a lot of good folks. Bad stuff happens to good people all the time. I'm sorry this happened to you, but keep your chin up and don't let one sloppy unprofessional mugwump ruin your life. You have friends here at jobschmob! Keep us posted, ok?

Posted by BP Lady on 08/23/2008:
I detect some ego problems here. There is always another side to the story.

Posted by mia501111 on 08/24/2008:
My daughter was in the same kind of situation about two years ago. She was being trained by her coworker who was purposely teaching her the wrong procedures. In this case the supervisor was not paying too much attention, and my daughter realized this and the impact it could have. Fortunately for her, she found another job and got out of there. It sounds like your coworker felt you were a real threat to her job! Sadly this happens sometimes in the business world. I think once you find the right supervisor, he/she will notice your talents and feel lucky to have you as an employee.

Posted by dontask 0 on 08/24/2008:
mia501111; I am so glad you brought up the subject of a coworker deliberately teaching the wrong procedures. Nothing I can think of is more destructive, mean and vicious.

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Actually, I do know what a binder is... Written by C.C. on 06/26/2008I understand that as the receptionist/ admin. assistant that I am essentially lowest on the totem-pole. I do not expect to be treated like a CEO but please at least assume that I have the competence of a 5 year old. The fact that I am far more competent than a 5 year old and have a college degree with honors is a moot point. I just want you to stop saying "Binder" as though these 3 ring objects may be a new concept to me.
I especially want to staple things to your face when you mime it to me as well. Monkeys may find it amusing, or useful to have the concept of a binder depicted through hand motions but I find it offensive.
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Posted by Nutrionista on 06/27/2008:
I find this monkey like behavior to be rampant and it spreads like a virus. I work with people who have to be the smartest person in the room and if they for one minute think that they may not be, they panic and act like a monkey. My boss is the biggest baboon in a 1 mile radius, and I say a 1 mile radius because the campus is huge and I am sure there are more monkeys out there scraping their knuckles on the ground.

Posted by CK on 06/27/2008:
Does he grunt and make other guttural sounds? Does he make one word sentences (and anything over two syllables or words is a strain)? If so then you are working for a Neanderthal and that is as evolved as he gets!

Posted by Dumber than a Catbox full of sh*t on 06/27/2008:
Bring in a 3-hole punch and really F*ck him up. The next time he mentions the "3-hole binder" point it out. Ask him if he would like you to "3-hole" bind anything.

Posted by Wage Slave on 06/29/2008:
As usual I love Catbox's suggestion!!!! Last year I observed a coworker being extraordinarily cruel to one of our clerks. He made it a point to tell her, "You are not my boss and I don't get paid by you." He would post pictures of Ethel Merman with her name on them. The manager at the time, was so incompetent and doped up on anti-depressants that she yelled at the clerk for having these signs up. The clerk even told her "Do you think I would put up a sign like that?" Our clerks are paid less than we are. They scramble around like crazy to make sure we get paid on time. I guess when people feel demoralized they pick on those perceived to be weaker. Sometimes I feel like I never left grade school. Poster please know there are people in your office that do appreciate you. Sorry that you have to suffer the fools.

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Partner from hell Written by Fed Up! on 06/22/2008A coworker and I always were exchanging invention ideas. We decide to figure out which one is best and go for it. It turns out to be the coworkers idea. OK, we have the item made and then, because I have more training, more talents, etc. I end up doing all the work. I make other prototypes, I set up accounts, find manufacturers, websites, documents, etc. The coworker talks a lot, worries a lot and when assigned things to do ends up screwing them up so badly that I end up jumping in and fixing them. Doesn't have any common sense, but thinks because the idea was theirs that the business should remain 50/50. Oh, and did I mention the personal life is a disaster? I'm talking affairs, depression, lots of drama on a daily basis. I'm tired of this and NOW, NOW that I am saying we need to dissolve this and do something different. The coworker NOW is attempting to make it work. Read 3 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by twiz on 06/23/2008:
Did you form a partnership or corporation together? Since most likely you are just a private corp or partnership, and if it is 50-50, that pretty much means each of you cannot get rid of the other without coming to some sort of agreement. I would welcome their new found work ethic/spirit... and see how far it goes. If that does not work out, resume talks of an alternative arrangement. You may have to buy them out.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 06/23/2008:
You are in a rough spot, if you quit you will get blamed for project failure. The only thing you can do is see this thing to it's end and not team up with this guy in the future!

Posted by CK on 06/23/2008:
That is a tight spot that you're in ... As to the partnership, do you have anything in writing? If not then it's just two guys working together. Personally I would draw the line NOW as to who is responsible for what - be in marketing, research, development, etc. so long as the partner compliments your style and covers your weak areas. But if the partner's personal life is in shabbles then it is better to go your seperate ways.

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Snake in the Lab ! Look out ! Written by labtech on 05/27/2008Here's the problem, I need some advice on how to handle it.

We have a lab tech who makes up lies and rumors, and deliberately lies to other techs (about job-related information as well as fluff), who backstabs and makes a real effort to upset and distress his coworkers. He's making the job worse for everyone. Here's an example: "Hey, I overheard the boss saying to this other boss that they're watching you, they want to get rid of you." Here's another, "They're shutting down this other lab and bringing two lab techs over here, those lab techs have more experience and education so they'll be laying off here." Now, I was able to check up on this and these were BOTH complete fabrications made by him and only him....but in the meantime, he had caused a lot of hate and discontent. Is this loser just happy when other people are miserable, and how can I deal with this ? We have a completely indifferent management system in place, so HR is just a waste of time. I've tried challenging him on "who told you this rumor ? Where did you hear this ?" and he lies about that (unsuccessfully). But there are people who BELIEVE him and it's causing trouble.

Any suggestions ?
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Posted by thelma on 05/27/2008:
Sounds like this dude is a pathological liar who thrives on drama. He pretends to be "in the know" in order to get others to confide in him. IMHO, this guy is using gossip and rumors to distract his co-workers. Maybe he's trying to cover up his own incompetence by keeping everyone nervous and on edge. Maybe he's trying to provoke enmity among the bosses and the lab techs, so, when the stuff hits the fan, he'll come out looking like a hero. I wouldn't waste my time calling him on his lies. Just say something like, "I don't listen to gossip" or "I learned not to listen to every rumor that comes out." This reminds me of that Michael Douglass movie, "Disclosure", where a co-worker spreads rumors about Michael Douglass' character in order to get him fired. All through the movie, he keeps getting anonymous emails that simply say, "Do your job." He eventually realizes that the office gossip is just a distraction to prevent him from completing a very important project. So, my suggestion to you is DO YOUR JOB. When the stuff hits the fan, nobody can point to you and say you didn't get your work done.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 05/27/2008:
Thelma put into words exactly what I wanted to say. It sounds like this person simply thrives on chaos for whatever demented reason he may have. I would type up an anonymous note to the bosses about the chaos this guy is spreading. 10 to 1 he will deny it if he is called to the carpet but at least he will know he is being watched.

Posted by Dumber than a Catbox full of sh*t on 05/27/2008:
This is really mean. I would make up a rumor about about his rumoring.

Posted by Fedup-Timeout on 05/28/2008:
Thelma, WELL SAID, and I agree. As a matter of fact, this is basically how I handle gossip and other mean 'stuff' that goes on in my work place.

Posted by labtech on 05/29/2008:
Thanks for giving me the support, everyone. I've been thinking this guy only feels happy when everyone else is unhappy, and his way of "looking/feeling good" is to cut everyone else down. I'll keep watching him - he watches everyone else to catch their screwups, and I'll throw it right back at him should the situation occur. There are some sick and twisted individuals in the world, and the company just LOVES it when he does their work for them - in the form of snitching on everyone. He's damaged goods - and he can't afford to retire, ever, since he gambles (and loses).

Posted by thelma on 05/29/2008:
Since he has a gambling problem and money problems, he probably figures the only way to keep his job is to be the company snitch. Watch your back!

Posted by Nutritionista on 05/30/2008:
Do your job. It is not your appointment to watch what this guy does or says. Read your job description and do those duties. Don't worry about loser co-workers that are crazy or jealous. Nothing in the work place surprises me anymore. Nothing! I am totally not surprised at bad, inappropriate behavior anymore. People are monkeys without hair.

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Nitpicker Written by tonton on 05/14/2008One day, top management decided that it would be a ‘step in the right direction’ to get an assistant for our overworked CFO. It turned out the decision was not so smart since the CFO was not willing to delegate anything to anyone, least of all a new recruit. When the new guy was finally brought in, he was given pretty much the same tasks that we did with the added onus of coordinating and supervising our work - big job since that meant trying to control and supervise four unruly, laid back junior accountants. The new guy looked ok at first – a little bit too quiet and reserved for our liking - but halfway through his second week, he said something that put us off. We were called for a meeting in his office and he was telling us how things were to be done, handing out detailed work schedules and six-month forecasts printed in tiny fonts. ‘We’ll try to cut late stays at the office to a minimum’ he said and we were like ‘Dude, we cut late stays at the office down to zero!’ From then on it could only get worse. We would be called to his office individually, spending an hour being told something or other that could have been thrashed out in five minutes. He would spend hours trying to grapple with something that we would normally conclude in a fraction of the time, complicating matters needlessly, and losing himself in detail while missing more salient matters and expecting us to do the same. The CFO was getting annoyed and so were we. The ‘minimum’ late stays at the office became the norm (for him not for us) and we would all be gone by half past five while he labored on. We would joke with him telling him the office would still be there tomorrow morning but it was a lost cause! Sometimes, one or two of us would linger on for an hour – more out of pity than anything else – but only occasionally. The CFO is the type of bastard who constantly shouts us down and while we would systematically ignore his tantrums, the supervisor would take it so bad he would come back from these sessions to his office like a beaten dog. Many times his zeal clashed with our lack of it and it became clear that someone would have to go. Needless to say it was him. The amount of grief he got from the CFO coupled with the lack of cooperation from our side was just too much. He left within a few months (how did he last so long?) and life was back to normal – sort of. Two months on, we’re still suffering from the fallout – unfinished work on his part, trying to catch up where he left off and converting his overcomplicated systems to more manageable ones. Co-worker from hell no doubt – but then again, he’s probably thinking the same about us.

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Posted by humph! on 05/14/2008:

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 05/19/2008:
> The CFO is the type of bastard who constantly shouts us down... > Lets see, the CFO is overworked because he can't delegate and shouts the employees down. HR then decides to get him an assistant to help him? What is wrong with this picture?

Posted by tonton on 06/08/2008:
The trouble was that the manager did not want to delegate anything to anyone. Moreover, he felt that a middle man wedged between him and us juniors was an encroachment to his authority. The fact that both men worked on totally different wavelengths made the situation as explosive as it could get. On our part, we hoped that an intermediate manager would streamline things better – actually everything got more complicated and bogged down in useless procedure. We would have sympathised with the new guy but he was too much of a workaholic and crushingly pedantic while we are just so laid back and nine-to-five.

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How ignorant are you Vickie? Written by Wage Slave on 05/09/2008Sometimes I am really taken aback by how rude some people are. On Thursday I went out to have a smoke and I asked a butt ugly troll named Vickie for a light. The cow replied, "My lighter is getting low." Everyone she was standing with got a little slack jawed. Her friend, who is very nice and one of the people who was shocked, offered me a light.

I have never done anything to this little mutant. During my tour in the QA department, she made it a point to sarcastically say "that looks like hard work you should be taking some calls."

She didn't know anything about my work and dealing with my boss. My boss had temper tantrums and verbally abused me everyday at the time. The actual posting of the job should have been scapegoat. This QA department has already replaced my replacement. No matter what I did it was wrong and my boss would cut me to shreds everyday. Towards the end I felt like I couldn't do anything right.

This boss had me almost believing I was stupid and worthless. The other assistant and I had a research project on the same topic. I gave him my results and told him to hand them in as his own. I told him if our boss went ballistic I would tell her it was my work. Well because it was handed in from someone else, it was stellar work. I transferred out about a week later.

I think Vicky (the ugly troll) hates management and being a stupid frustrated coward she associated a QA lackey with management. I am back on the phones now. I don't treat my coworkers badly because that's what management wants. If we all hate each other and are willing to tell on one another we do 1/2 of management's job, keeping an eye on the workforce.

The rude and ignorant trolls of the workforce ruin morale faster than management ever could. They piss on their own legs and don't know why they stink!
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Posted by CK on 05/09/2008:
I hate you,you hate me, we are a dysfunctional family ... I hear you loud and clear! Sounds like my life at work - except that I can't transfer but was transfered! Of course it is a better (but lower) position.

Posted by Wage Slave on 05/09/2008:
I quit smoking at 6:00 this morning. I have promised myself when I know I have completely quit I will thank her. I will say I owe it all to you Vickie, I knew if I quit smoking I wouldn't have to look at you, your dirty hair and dirty glasses anymore. My husband told me this was the most hateful way of quitting smoking. I don't care if it works it works. A million thanks for letting me vent.

Posted by truck21 on 05/10/2008:
So, just because someone would not give YOU a light, for a known cancer causing stick of poison, she is an idiot, a troll, ignorant, incompenant person??!!!??? WELL-----what does that make you?????? A perfect snob, someone who thinks she is better than everyone else???

Posted by Wage Slave on 05/11/2008:
Dear Truck 21, If you reread my post you will see how she was rude to me when I was in a difficult position she knew nothing about. Sound familiar? It's a good idea to read the stories before posting a comment. The purpose of this site is to let people rant. Usually the comments are very supportive, not hypercritical. Also, during my stint in QA, I had to give her an award for time off she berated me because she didn't like her job. She is stupid, loud and rude.

Posted by Wage Slave on 05/11/2008:
Truck 21, I find your post INCOMPETENT.

Posted by Bookwoman on 05/11/2008:
Hey Wage Slave - good luck with the quitting. Sending strong thoughts your way. You can do it!!

Posted by truck21 on 05/11/2008:
In answer to wage slave: I understand that you are/were upset with your treatment. Probably, rightly so. But, in your very first paragraph you call a person names BEFORE you even give her name. Has anybody ever tried to figure out why she is the way she is?? Just because you don't agree with the way you were treated, for whatever reason, doesn't give you the right to call names. I read the intire article ansd the one thing that really sticks out is: "I asked the {butt-ugly troll} for a light and she would not [in effect] give me one." I don't know why you would do that {call her names} just because she wouldn't give you what you wanted. You may have had problems with her as your "boss", and if so, why would you even ask her for anything?? You say there were other people there, why didn't you go to one of them first?? Sounds like you just wanted to make a bad situation worse.

Posted by Wage Slave on 05/11/2008:
Truck 21, It was raining outside we were all crowded under a sheltered area. When I got outside she allowed me under and said "I don't want you to melt, like in the Wizard of Oz." I laughed at the comment. Because we were physically crowded and next to each other, it would have been odd to ask someone further away from me. You don't smoke which is very good. A civilized smoker gives a stranger on the street a light. It's normal etiquette. Her response was IGNORANT. People that were standing there looked at her to register she acted rudely. A week before this incident, I spoke to her we had a normal cordial conversation. She told me about her old job with children's services. It was very eye opening. She was not rude to me. I was willing to let one thoughtless comment in a lifetime go. It is much easier to be civil to your coworkers than avoid them in social situations. I did not think it was absolutely necessary to provide every detail. As for the name calling it's part of venting and this forum. It is much better if I do it in this forum then blowing up at work or at family members. You will probably see some awful descriptions from me and the other writers. I did not mean to offend your sensibilities but you really didn't know the entire situation. Not asking her for anything in the future is an excellent suggestion, I will take.

Posted by My Two Cents on 05/11/2008:
All I can say is CONGRATS for trying to quit smoking. You can do it! I know many who have. Those that did not quit have died of lung and other types of cancer. A very painful, preventable type of death. Also, think of the money you will save! Good luck to you.

Posted by Dumber than a Catbox full of sh*t on 05/12/2008:
Truck 21--the troll was being a petty bitch. Congrats Poster on quitting:)But Troll flowers and thank her as you watch the bloom die of her bad breath--or to further extrapolote--give her a copy of the short story "Rappacini's Daughter" by Nathaniel Hawthorne--says it all.

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A$$hole partner Written by Mimi Yip on 05/08/2008I really need to vent, this has been going on for years.
In short, my husband and our friend go into business together. I left my career and jumped in to help get the company going. It started out small, just a few employees (friends and family) and everything was fine. Since then, the business has grown quickly, and is now very successful. Although I am appreciative of what we have, the workplace is now a living hell. Our partner has turned into an overbearing and demeaning tyrant. He allows his personal problems to affect his emotions at work, which ultimately results in an onslaught of raging fits over the slightest mishaps. The fact that A LOT of his immediate family are co-workers doesn't necessarily help the situation either, although I get along fine with THEM. I honestly can't remember a day that someone wasn't called a "f**king idiot", and the like.
Although my husband is his business partner (and although it's not on paper I'd like to consider myself one as well)I feel torn about how to handle this. My husband has heard my complaints, and has even seen me cry sometimes after being attacked. He merely tells me to let it roll off my back, or fight back with the same obscene insults. I always freeze during these attacks, afraid to say what I'm really thinking. I've mulled this over, thinking I'm being overly sensitive, but I've heard EVERY employee we have complain about the same stuff. My husband wears the white hat in the business, and when we vacation the employees practically beg us not to go. I bust my ass every day, and my job responsiblities are many. I've considered walking about 100 times, but always stop myself because of our vested interest in the company. I certainly don't want to cause any ill-effects by leaving, because there are responsibilities I oversee that no one else knows how to do. WHEW! I already feel better! If anyone has advice for me, (or even a good rip or two to make me laugh)it would be greatly appreciated!
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Posted by CK on 05/09/2008:
Sounds like someone (the other guy) needs to step out and be a 'silent' partner! In my opinion, if he continues he could affect business in a negitive manner. His other partner (your husband) needs to have a talk with him. Also the thought of a buy-out may be in order.

Posted by Veronica on 05/09/2008:
Why is your husband allowing you to be disrespected? That should be your first question to yourself. This man---ONE MAN---is poisoning the workplace and everyone is allowing it. WHY?? If it's because you think you'd be risking the business if he was ousted or you and your husband stood up to him, then think about how much your business will be at risk if any of the following very likely scenarios happened: 1) Your employees get fed up and quit 2) Your employees get fed up and slack off, steal or sabotage your business out of anger at this man. 3) An employee files a lawsuit against this man as a result of something he says or does. Lastly, please consider the risk you are putting your health and your marriage in by allowing this to continue. I wish you the very best.

Posted by twiz on 05/09/2008:
Your husband, as a part-owner and as your husband, needs to stand up for you. If he thinks it would be considered favoritism, he is wrong. It is being a good husband AND boss. Just as a boss alone he should not be allowing the other partner to belittle employees. But especially as your husband he should be sticking up for you. I also agree with Veronica that this guy can start to poison the environment. If your employees find some place else to work, sounds like they would leave in a heartbeat. This is not the type of work environment you want. Non-productive and unhealthy. Just my 2 cents.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 05/09/2008:
You state that your husband wears the white hat and the employees hate when you leave. It sounds as if he/you are the 'likeable' ones of the business and I bet this is what is setting the partner off. He wants RESPECT and does not know how to get it other than through intimidation. I would suggest some leadership training for both him and your husband and anyone else in management. You and your husband should not have to be put in the position of 'peace keepers', this will strain your marriage as I imagine you are bringing the stress home.

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Level of output Written by tonton on 04/30/2008One of the advantages of working in a multi-nationality environment is that you get to meet people from far more diverse backgrounds than working with only locals. Unfortunately, not all the foreign co-workers are nice to work with and some are openly hostile and aloof. I worked for two years in such an environment and although it was a generally great experience, one particular person spoilt the fun for a while.

We were a multi disciplinary team – financial auditors, quantity surveyors and engineers – and our work was coordinated by a British national. His opinion of us was that we were a bunch of bumpkin, idle locals who had to be talked down to. This view of his came to the fore one day when an engineer subcontracted to the project we were on gave us a detailed account of our supervisor’s rating of each of us. We all had our own personal deficiencies; my defect was that I was always half asleep and that my output was low. There was only one thing to do at this point and that was to bring my output down to my supervisor’s level of what he thought it was. What’s the point of working hard when your manager sincerely believes you’re a slacker?

The day that we were informed that he was to be replaced was a day of jubilation. His replacement was also British but was a totally different person and within a few weeks, our level of efficiency and output went back to what it was before the previous manager darkened our office life.
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Posted by BonusOnus on 04/30/2008:
Dude, your (former) boss is British. They look down on everybody. :)

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 05/01/2008:
I can't believe I read this! The reason being is we hired a 'British National' two years ago as a project manager who has thrown chaos into the group. The guy is nice enough and is reasonably intelligent but the problem is he thinks he knows EVERYTHING and will not back down from his ideas! Just recently, a co-worker and I were assigned to him to come up with a solution for a system that would be used world wide and had to be 100% fault tolerant. My co-worker and I are used to that and we came up with a reasonably priced solution based upon the customers requirements. The British national immediately shot down our idea and presented his own design based on another project he did. My co-worker and I called in our manager as a mediator and began going over the customers requirements and seeing if the 'British nationals' solution would work. After an hour, we had proven that his idea would NOT work and that ours would. Rather than take our idea, the British National abruptly ended the meeting and said "I will use a 3rd party consulting company to implement MY idea" and stormed out! My co-worker, boss and I looked at each other with open mouths and our boss finally said "He just can't admit he was wrong, but this time his job is on the line so we will just let him hang himself!" This isn't the first altercation I had with this guy, I truly believe he thinks I am a 'bumpkin' due to my strong Southern Accent and laid back ways. I often imagine myself kicking him hard in the hindquarters while he says in his thick British accent "Owch!"

Posted by Cleverminded on 05/02/2008:
I worked for a British man who was married to an American. He too had a problem with admitting he was wrong or did not know something. He would often brag about how is country was so superior to ours in education etc. I finally told him that we "Americans" kicked British ass once and retarded, fat, lazy Americans came to the Brits rescue in WWII. Most Brits think of Americans as problem children. The British are colonial snobs that have bad teeth and are very insecure about themselves. I say this knowing that I have an English and Irish ancestors who were probably Tory's and wealthy land owners. Thank God that one of my ancestors liked a little bit of spice and married outside of that culture.

Posted by Bookwoman on 05/03/2008:
whoa, whoa, whoa!!!!!! NO nationality has the corner on idiocy! Otherwise, THIS site wouldn't exist! Having worked with quite a few Brits also over the years, I have to say I've only had one bad experience and that guy would've been a jerk in whatever country he found himself. SP, at least your manager also recognized how ridiculous the Brit was who was determined to do things his way. Just think if he'd acted as so many managers do, and supported that guy!

Posted by Fedup-TimeOut on 05/04/2008:
AMEN, Bookwoman! Accolades to the manager for recognizing and supporting the team. That doesn't happen every day.

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A back to stab Written by tonton on 04/27/2008Just like a spreadsheet, backstabbing is a versatile and useful office tool. It’s easy to master, helps to promote your image and you can fine-tune it to your needs. It has survived the information age intact and is self-propagating (back-to-back stabbing we call it at the office). For the poor devils at the receiving end (the backstabbed), it sucks - but so what!

There are clients and clients. I was working at the office of one client, doing audit work on their books when one of the directors came in and stood staring at me for a while. Then he said something that stopped me half way through a bank reconciliation.
“You’re not very good at your work, are you?” he said bluntly, “At least that’s what your audit manager told us!”
I was going to say that a bad manager always blames his subordinates. Instead I opted for a somewhat milder reply.
“Maybe, but you’re stuck with me for now,” I said, trying to sound as deadpan as I could while putting on a forced grin.
All through that day, that terse comment disturbed me no end and I found it hard to sleep that night. How could my manager – a former school buddy – say something like that behind my back; what else had he said about me and how many other clients had he said it to? Or was the client who called me incompetent just trying to put a rift between me and my manager.

It all became quite clear a couple of weeks later when, after a serious argument with one of the audit partners, my audit manager resigned. He took with him a number of clients, including the one who had disparaged me, and set up a practice of his own. Not very ethical, but that’s how many small audit firms start off.

As for me, that’s one backstabber taken care of. Next …..!!
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Posted by CK on 04/27/2008:
It sounds like your (now former) manager had this all set up to leave with a few clients in tow. You manager most likely said that about everyone else as well. I'd bet that this manager explained to the clients that the whole company was incompetent and that is why he was leaving to start his own. I live with back-stabbers at work. These are professional back-stabbers! If they don't like you for some reason, you're a possible threat, etc. then they stab-a-way (psycho music playing in the background)! Read my blog (Predatory Management) and you'll see what I am up against!

Posted by thelma on 04/28/2008:
Yeah, what CK said. It sounds like the audit manager was greasing the wheels for an exit and badmouthed everybody to lure clients away. Some people are really good at making other people perceive something that's neutral or even positive as negative. So the manager probably described something you did to the client in a negative way ("see how he erases pencil with a pencil eraser and pen with a pen eraser?") and twisted it to sound bad. Then the client comes over and watches you and decides you're incompetent. Been there; done that.

Posted by BonusOnus on 04/30/2008:
I got a few I work with as well. One Indian coworker (L) is really bad. He makes up shit. He will say "Joe Smith said this" when Joe Smith never said this. The good thing is that people are catching on and distancing themselves from him. And he doesn't think it has anything to do with himself.

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Is this guy a bully? Written by NotTheLooker on 04/18/2008My office was moved from one end of the building to the other, which put me closer to the production area. The guy who used to have my new office complained that he wasn't getting any of his work done because the production manager was constantly bothering him.

'Besides,' the PHB tells me, 'You're the art department and you need to have a close relationship with his department.'

Well, what am I going to say to that? I was tired of the production manager shouting at me from down the hallway- this only happened like twice a day and always work-related versus the other guy who was the PM's smoking and gossip buddy. Also, this new office was much, much nicer than my old one (painted and furnished very nicely, the old guy was so desperate to get away that he let me keep that furniture (this should've been a clue.))

So I'm in this new office and it became apparent that I got screwed (again.) PM now thinks that I'm his production helper monkey.

Every damn time this guy walks by my office he's got some packaging crisis in production that I absolutely have to drop everything I'm doing and go help him. I now spend more time in that little room than in my own office. When I complained about it PM he said:

'You're young so I'll forgive you for not realizing that this job isn't always glamorous. We're a small company, you have to help out sometimes and the economy is so bad everywhere that you should count yourself lucky to have this job instead of working in retail- THAT'S hellish. At least here you get to do the kind of work you do SOMETIMES.'

PHB found me loading product one day while PM was out getting supplies and asked me why I was there. But I can't complain without looking like a whiner- we were backed up for a while and I honestly had some downtime in my department. Besides, PHB and PM are butt buddies, although...

I used to think that PM stayed loyal to the company (we had some rough spots lately and almost closed) because he was PHB's friend, but he's been saying things like 'I'm too old to start over' and now I wonder if PM is just sucking up to PHB for THE POWER or something.

Anyway, I don't mind helping out in other departments except that there are a lot of instances where I find myself working alone DOING HIS JOB while he's surfing the net for personal items.

And personally I find him abrasive and hard to deal with. He picks and picks and picks until I start to lose my temper and then says: 'lighten up, Francis.' And then he proceeds to talk about how things like that don't bother HIM, implying that I must be oversensitive.

I told him that he was hard to relate to and he'll say 'just look in a mirror.'

Between PHB's frequent 'comedic' references to his sagging sex life and PM's racist humor, I feel completely alienated. And add to this mix this older butt-kissing woman who just thinks they're the just the greatest bunch of guys around and I'm starting to think I have no sense of humor.

Maybe I don't, maybe I'm as interesting as a wet tissue.

But I do remember that the position I now fill (in addition to my REAL job, yes, I'm saying it SATAN! MY! REAL!! JOB!!!) has an extremely high turnover rate and that everyone who's ever filled it has come unglued once or twice and lashed out at Sa- I mean, PM.

The happy ending to this is, I've decided to move to a bigger city to find more moolah (and maybe a job where I'll spend more than 10% of my time doing what I went to school for.) I'm leaving in two months.

You know what he says to that?

'Well, the economy is bad everywhere.'

Kiss mine, buddy!
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Posted by CK on 04/18/2008:
One thing is that I would ask my manager what my duties are and how far they extend. If you are following orders from your boss and the PM comes in with a 'task' for you to do explain that that it conflicts with what you are currently doing and that you will have to ask YOUR boss first before proceeding with the PC's request. It is important that you know the scope and boundaries of your job. If the PM pressures you just state that you need to finish with what you have been tasked with before you can accommodate him. In this way you are not saying "no" to him! If he stomps out in a fit make sure you get to your boss FIRST!!! The PM may be running to your boss and you need to be taling to your boss first before he does - call the boss on hos phone PRANTO!! You need to explain your side FIRST!!!

Posted by Dumber than a Catbox full of sh*t on 04/18/2008:
I do sympathize with your situation. What concerns me is that you are thinking that a big city will give you better opportunities--I work in Chicago and although I am a teacher--I have many friends in business and the job market here is tight. I hope you already are locked-in to a job in the big city--you could be sitting in Chicago unemployed for a long time--we have the highest gas prices except for San Francisco--I paid $3.60/gallon on Tuesday to fill-up and I am a mile outside the city limits. I shopped at Walgreens (our famous drugstore here) for a few items last week and my receipt revealed 12 and a half percent tax.

Posted by CK on 04/19/2008:
Ouch! Big city or not the pain is everywhere you look. I read yestercay that Citi and ATT are laying off thousands of people. I don't live in a big city (with small minds) and it isn't any better here! Gas is alomost as much as what Cat pays - I saw one at $3.42 ... and the state, county, and cities are running out of money! They are cutting all sorts of services. They are laying off teachers and closing schools! But hey - the people wanted a tax cut ... problem is that people are STUPID! They have no long-term thoughts in their heads. It's no wonder why we are in the mess that we are in!

Posted by NotTheLooker on 04/19/2008:
Thanks for the advice and the sympathy guys. I try not to lose my cool at the office but this particular manager is very difficult to ignore. These days it's the thought of leaving that's keeping me from cracking, so yeah, I'm probably being overoptimistic. The two biggest advantages to the move are getting to live near my family again and going back to school for my Bachelor's. I don't have a job locked in but I'm so homesick that I'm willing to bus tables at this point. PM is just the hate-cherry on the sundae with this situation. I tell him I'm leaving a place that I've never been happy to be in to go and further my education and see my loved ones and 'yay I'm so happy' and his response is to shit all over me. And it's not that I crave approval from this dork, it's just that I feel this undercurrent of hostility that never lets up and he sugarcoats it in this layer of fake 'I'm just teasing you' attitude. Worse, his friends feel free to drop in and chat with him anytime and for however long they want so sometimes he has himself a little gang. I wish I could just avoid this guy, the stress in the place noticeably disappears every time he takes a personal day. Unfortunately, I have a suspicion that PHB has decided to save money and combine my tasks with that of the Production Helper Monkey since he knows I won't just stop showing up to work as other monkeys have done in the past. I'm going to talk to the PHB about this on monday but this is what I'm afraid will come out when I do.

Posted by Been There .... Done That .... on 04/21/2008:
I swear, when I was reading this.... it sounded as if you worked at my old theater company. The only thing different is that I am in New York. As for being "bullied" --- the term that I would use is MANIPULATED. Your bosses don't want to get rid of you... they simply want to turn you into a workhorse and save company money! You mentioned that you have decided to leave in a couple of months --- so you have resolved "one-half" of your employment headache. The only other part left is to understand why you have been put into this double-duty situation. By understanding the method to this madness, you will have an easier time getting through the next couple of months without going postal on those two nitwitts. The first step is to remove your "artistic hat" and take a moment and get interested in the company's finances. See how you guys have held up for the past three years. If it looks like the company is in a slump and performance sales are not doing well --- the answer will be staring you right in the face. You are being "outsourced" within your own company to save money. Why should they hire someone else (with benefits, insurance, office space, etc). They've got you. Your PBJs and KBGs "know" gave you an eye-candy office to make it sweet and natural for you to ease into double-duty. I cringed when you mentioned that one of the butt-buddies takes time to sympathize with you in private. He wants you to feel that he's concerned, that you are valued and appreciated. Don't be fooled. Your butt-buddies are very much like my former two love-bosses. They argued in public, cut each other down to me, and on rare, rare, blue-moon occassions, (like robots) would let me know how great I am ... but every night -- when the company closed -- they would go home to the same house. Do not ever join either one of your bosses in speaking ill about the other --- this will get you out of the company before the leaving date that's marked on your calendar. If you are truly leaving in two months, stay and collect everyone of those damned paychecks and watch your spending. You will need this for the move. Yes... it is rough out there, but there is still work. Until then, have faith in yourself, don't get involved in company gossip, keep your leaving date to yourself, build your references and plan well for your next adventure. It will get you far.

Posted by NotTheLooker on 04/21/2008:
Thanks, Been There .... Done That .... Just to update, I went and talked to the boss on Monday and after having a conference with everyone else he told me that he's been paying me way too much for the job I've been doing in production. He suggested paying me my regular wage when I actually do artistic work and paying me eight bucks an hour when I'm in production. This would suck hairy balls for me IF there was even forty hours worth of work in production to do BUT there's not- we've entered our summer slump and the boss is looking to cut corners. I was sent home after half a day. I asked them point-blank: am I being sorta fired? Because I'd rather be free to find other work than be on call for peanuts. 'Oh, nonono!' But my gut tells me, yeah, I've been sorta layed off. I'm drinking at home at two in the afternoon. Y'know, I'm not as mad about getting let go as I'm that they didn't have the balls to say: 'You're fired.' I'm gonna go look for a second job and I feel okay about it. I'm not sorry I spoke up, there'd been other shit to get upset about (like a few rubber paychecks) and I look at it this way: I seriously would rather work for someone who was tough but honest rather than have some ass-hat tell me I'm great to my face and then act differently. That hurts worse and it certainly... ah, I better go lie down. (Been There .... Done That .... I'd been getting that 'you're the best' line too! Along with the 'we're like a family here.') Muchas gracias everyone!!!

Posted by truck21 on 05/10/2008:
You think you have problems??? Become a truck driver. You haven't even begun to experience overbearing, inconsiderate bosses or people. And you complain because you are asked to do something that you don't want to. At least you get PAID for it. Even if you make minimum wage, you make more than most truck drivers. And you complain about BS you need to put up with. Try doing that job when it is "bossed" by some one that has no idea of what is going on. You people sit in offices, stand behind counters, etc., etc., and cry about how bad you have it. Become a truck driver, then we will see who has it rough.!!!

Posted by Wage Slave on 05/11/2008:
Truck 21, The purpose of this site is to VENT! Your problems are not worse than anyone elses. Don't pick on the posters. My husband is a truck driver. He became one after working in an office because he couldn't stand office politics, not moving around and having a boss hovering over him every minute of every day. He has told me being a truck driver is a piece of cake compared to working in an office! Have you ever worked in an office???????? I didn't think so! The mind games can really eat at you. Let people vent and don't be so negative.

Posted by truck21 on 05/11/2008:
News for workslave: I worked in an office for 8 years, I worked as a welder in ship yards for 10years, I worked as a cook in a truckstop restraurant for 3 years; I have probably had more jobs in my lifetime than you will ever have. You want vent? I have not read one post here that has given anybody any reason to "VENT". Complain? maybe, try and change--definitley. Anybody that has ever had a "BOSS" can always find somethng wrong. We live in a society of weak and strong. The strong lead--the weak follow. In other words--the employer BOSSES' and the employee follows. That is the game. If you don't try to change it (and "VENTING" won't) then it is just like politics: "If you don't vote -- don't b----ch.. Granted, there are a lot of bosses, and jobs, that should be buried 10' or more, but calling names, Venting if you will, won't change them. Doing what you can to become a boss, super, manager, leader, THEN INSTITUTING YOUR IDEAS, will change it. You people always gripe, cry, complain, and call names, because you are in a situation, but you never come up with any ideas on how it can be changed for the benefit of everyone. This site might be for "VENTING". Why not use it for both: Vent your displeasure, and at the same time, give a reasonable way of correcting the problem.

Posted by Wage Slave on 05/11/2008:
I have worked steadily since I was 16 years old. I was a waitress (Dairy Queen TCBY yogurt), cook (Pizza Mia), I delivered phone books and junk mail. I was a deli clerk and had to operate an lunchmeat slicer(Convenient), I was a sporting goods clerk (K-Mart), I was a transportation billing clerk (American Trucking), Telemarketer (United Publisher Services). My sales were so good they made me the night manager, I made less money in management and hated it. I was an insurance verification clerk (Stadlanders Pharmacy), paralegal (Westinghouse and US Steel and 3 other individual firms), I was the information lady at Westland Mall in Columbus, I was a toy salesperson(KB Toys), I have been a QA assistant (government doormat) and am a CSR. On several occasions I have been encouraged by management to apply for Lead and that does lead to management. Our district manager made my old manager hassle me while my sister was dying from cancer. Many of my coworkers had similar experiences when taking care of dying loved ones. I have friends that are managers in my office that have confirmed that is a usual practice to hassle people with dying family members. It's to see how loyal the managers are and if they are willing to follow orders. Managers start out in a manager training program and if they don't please upper management they don't become permanent managers. Unless you are in financial straights you don't apply for management in my office. The turnover is like a revolving door. Before I had a child I worked two jobs at a time. When I think about the jobs I have had I think about that Johnny Cash song, "I've been everywhere man." Waitressing is the physically toughest job I ever had and I ALWAYS tip well because of it. Working in an office is the toughest overall job. More people have had heart attacks and died from cancer in my current position than anywhere I have ever worked combined. Stress is a killer. In any case I don't you think you should berate the posters. I like these people they have offered valuable advice and support.

Posted by Wage Slave on 05/11/2008:
Not the Looker, You should not be treated as a pack mule. I love the way you write. Your post was hysterical. I'm glad you're getting away from these psychos. Please keep us posted. You have a terrific sense of humor and your reference to "yes SATAN I said it my real job" was priceless.

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Ex-Employee Speaks Written by Heavy Thoughts & Karma on 04/17/2008I used to work at a theater company where there are no redeemable characters. Everyone was absolutely cut-throat, backstabbing and downright non-caring. We were a small office of 8 people and worked long hours and weekend performances with very little pay. Since I rarely had quality time for my family, you'd think that a family-ISH environment would foster from this communal set-up.... but think again.

The man who ran/runs the place is sixty-eight, psychotic and in dire need of retirement. You would never know when his feeble top was going to blow. Now get this, I'd understand it if I were yelled at for submitting the wrong budget, screwing up with ticket sales, getting caught porn-surfing on the internet, embezzling or some other heinous crime ---- but this old fart would go ballistic over the smallest stuff: no rubber bands in the cabinet, you used a pen instead of a pencil, you are using yellow legal pads instead of white paper.... the ranting that resulted from these small things would go on for HOURS!!! I had to actually go on meds to keep my nerves from breaking through my skin --- either that or drink on the job!!!!

He was also a MASTER at micromanagemet to the point where it was absolutely crippling. He even wanted to be copied on EVERY email that was sent to anyone outside and INSIDE the organization. And to make matters worse, he had the password to all email accounts. His nighttime pleasures came from reading the office email transactions of the day. (TRUE STORY, I kid you not...) We all know he read our stuff, because he could repeat "word for word" conversations that were held only via email.

Now... to make this LONG story shorter. He had an old, loyal cronie female spy who had worked for him in that torture chamber for 20 years -- T W E N T Y years. She (Matahara) was notorious for fixing everyone in the office a nice healthy plate of cold HELL. She enjoyed - relished getting us in hotwater with Mr. Psycho. By the way... she was terribly in love with Mr. Psycho who didn't give a damn about her. When Mr. Psycho would tell Matahara to do something, he would often use the words "get off your fat a**". (I know that your and my Human Resources bells are ringing... but this is a small privately owned company ---- HR was / is Mr. Psycho).

After a year of this insanity, I QUIT....and left the asylum with my dignity intact. But just the other day, I heard through the grapevine that Matahara had been fired. Someone new had come in and encouraged the old coot to fire her.

I don't know how to feel about it. Matahara must be devastated. That theater company was her life and so was the boss. I thought that I would be smiling about the spy getting the boot. But I can't help but feel sorry for her. Matahara is only a couple of years away from retirement. The sun is shining outside, but I find myself being drawn back to her and the darkness that she must be feeling on this beautiful day.

I wish that I could be cold and heartless like one of those daytime soap opera characters --- but that's not me. I'm human. I have feelings. My friends are all telling me to rejoice and they don't want to hear any talk about being sorry for Matahara. I wish I could be a cold fish -- but I've learned the hard way that karma is as unpredictable as a hurricane.

So.... I'm releasing these thoughts into the void. I hope that by doing this tht I can mentally put an end to my thoughts about Matahara, any connection with that nasty theater company, and my fears of all the evil people that still remain.
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Posted by Wage Slave on 04/18/2008:
The Mataharas of the world get what they deserve! Write her a letter and explain Kharma to her. Detail all the pain she caused other people and how she made this workplace toxic. Every office has spies who feel that their contribution to the office is ratting out their coworkers. They cause misery and mistrust. They kill morale and comraderie. You don't even have to send the letter. If you do send the letter, you may help her and her future coworkers.

Posted by the confessor on 04/22/2008:
I have to agree. At the Radio Station From Hell, The owner's secretary Miss Buttock went through the trash, eavesdropped around corners, and used the intercom system to listen in on others, even though we had only a dozen employees! She eventually made so many enemies in and outside of the business that she had to be let go. The owner stated that she "lived in a fantasy world". WARNING TO BACKSTABBERS: IN THE END, YOU'LL BE SCREWED OVER TOO, AND THE PEOPLE YOU STUCK IT TOO WILL FIND OUT AND HOUND YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR DAYS. P>S> Buttock got tossed by her boyfriend after an anonymous caller told him of her affair with the owner...

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How to be a coworker from hell...? Written by HaveADamnNiceDay on 04/15/2008Check out this article! You too can be a (fecal chute) at work and in your daily life! Hee hee hee! I might just get that book, too!

Make Enemies and Alienate People
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Give an a**hole enough rope.... Written by BonusOnus on 03/25/2008So this Indian coworker (L) was at this meeting that was caused by him boasting about a SW library and creating more work for another coworker (H) of ours (see my previous post - Taking Credit But Not Doing the Work). H had to do a meeting to show what his library could do. It didn't go so well. There were other groups that started questioning why we were doing it this way. L started to look bad so he made an excuse that this was the better way to go because it would be easier because H could be the domain expert of the library but the library was easy to use so other programmers could just access APIs of the library without having to know the nuts-and-bolts of the library.

The argument went back and forth and this SW developer from another group, who isn't easily BS'd, kept asking more probing questions. L kept making excuses and then said that he preferred this way because this way, everybody could know the library without having H as a domain expert (and hence a bottleneck). The other guy then jumped on L and said "You just contradicted yourself. You said earlier that this was the way to go because you didn't need everyone using this library to be a domain expert. Now you're saying that everyone would be a domain expert. Which one is it?"

Ha ha ha. L looked bad in front of everyone. Give someone like him enough rope and he'll hang himself.

L had a look on his face. This is a guy who goes to extremes to look good to the superiors and others. A few times, he'd give Powerpoint presentations and because he's not very technical, he'd have mistakes in the slides. I'd correct him in the meeting, saying something like "I don't think that's quite right" or "that might not be correct". He didn't like that because it made him look bad so he told me in no uncertain terms not to correct him in public.
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Posted by thelma on 03/26/2008:
It always fascinates me that so many people know a co-worker who is lleno de caca, but don't do/say anything. ALWAYS correct L's mistakes in public! Take every opportunity to make him squirm. If more people did that instead of keeping silent, there would be fewer idiots in management.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 03/26/2008:
If more people did that instead of keeping silent, there would be fewer idiots in management. > I tried that once with a manager at another job, it didn't go well. I had a new manager who kept telling us she was working on a "Product Support Matrix" After weeks of asking us probing questions she showed us her "Product Support Matrix" which was nothing more than a stupid spreadsheet. Oh she showed this thing off during meetings with other managers and was so proud of her work. One day, we came into work and found that a production line had shut down during the night because of a problem with a conveyor belt. The manager proudly exclaimed "The Support Matrix save our A$$!" I quietly asked how did the matrix "save our a$$" when the problem on the line had NOTHING to do with our department and the problem was due to a conveyor belt and was not even REMOTELY related to a software/server issue and we were never even contacted because the problem had nothing to do with us? I was later asked not to correct her publicly again.

Posted by dontask 0 on 03/26/2008:
Unfortunately give an a**hole enough rope and he will hang you and others.

Posted by BonusOnus on 03/27/2008:
I'm confident in my abilities so I know I can stand on my own based on my skills and achievements without having to "self promote" myself. And I'm also someone who knows I'm not perfect. I will make mistakes. People who make mistakes aren't necessarily stupid. People who never learn from mistakes are stupid. So if someone corrects me on some technical info, I take that as a feedback and learn from it. I'm also someone who will say that I don't know something if I don't know something. I'm honest about my skills and talent. So if I am giving some transfer of info (TOI) and I make a mistake and someone corrects me in public, to me, what's most important is that we get the facts right so the audience goes away with the correct info. To people like L (and others), what's more important is that the audience thinks he knows what he's talking about. I really don't like people like L. I know people like him outside of work - you know, the friends who posture and show off their nice car and flashy clothes to present an image of success and wealth, only to realize that it's based on big credit card debts and fiscal irresponsibility (sounds like the US govt - yikes!). I don't like these people in my social life and I don't seem to like them in my work life either. I just don't like phonys in general.

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Taking credit but not doing the work Written by BonusOnus on 03/21/2008So in our dept. meeting today, one of my coworkers (H) was asked to give status on what he was doing. He has been busy programming libraries and has done a good job. Another coworker (L), someone who has not accomplished much but strives to promote himself, physically moved closer to H, I mean, he stood next to H, and started bragging about how H's libraries would do all these great things. But he made it sound like L had something to do with H when he did nothing on H's project.

Well, the others in the meeting started asking questions and wondering if H's libraries would work on their projects. It looks like this "interest" will cause more work for H, even though he didn't ask for it. It was because of L's self-boasting. I saw it for what it was - H didn't look too eager for taking on more work that he didn't ask for. My manager made a crack that subtlely showed that he wasn't happy that H was being drawn into more work that would distract him from making progress on his current project. But there was L, who wanted to be the center of attention, promoting himself and tying himself to a project that has high visibility even though he had nothing to do with it.

Ever have these kinds of coworkers? Self-promoters who aren't very good but try to talk a good game and take too much credit for their accomplishments? This guy L has, on previous projects, claimed to have done 75% of the work on a project when he only did 33%. Not very technical but he thinks he's manager material. He hasn't done a good job on any project so he tries to substitute quality for quantity, doing a quick, crappy job on a project and trying to go to the next one, so he can claim on his performance review that he worked on 10 different projects this year.

And for all the posturing L does, he's not very well thought of. He's known for doing crappy work but he either doesn't realize this or he doesn't care. Other development groups have complained about him but he deflects their criticisms with excuses (he tried to have me do his work once because he wasn't technical enough to do it and I refused, which pissed him off). He's considered mediocre, but he thinks he's an invaluable member of my team.

Oh yeah, L's also Indian. I see L's behavior in other ethnic groups. But I have to say that I see it a lot more among Indians than any other ethnic group.
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Posted by CK on 03/21/2008:
It wouldn't matter if 'L' is Indian or not there are always leeches who are out to take credit for other's work and efforts so long as it is successful. I have had managers and supervisors take credit for my suggestions ... even if I make the suggestion in front of others! I believe that it is because of their low self-esteem and self-worth that they take credit from others.

Posted by BonusOnus on 03/22/2008:
True, it doesn't matter what L's ethnicity is. But being in this industry for 10+ years, I see it more among Indians. I think there's some cultural thing I'm missing. I've talked to my Indian friends about it and they've said that they see it a lot more than I do since they've worked among Indians (back in India) a lot more than I have. I have learned that the people you need to worry about aren't the superstar performers. Their performance will speak for itself and they *usually* will not play politics or be self-promoters. It's the ones who are mediocre who realize that their performance alone won't get them very far so they embellish their accomplishments to get ahead. Or play politics and try to backstab others. I never take credit for work that someone else has done. In fact, if someone else has done work that I am impressed by, I tend to broadcast it to others to make sure people know that a coworker has done a good job and deserves some recognition. But I'm also honest and if someone else has done crappy work and tries to pass it off as being spectacular, I call them on it.

Posted by CK on 03/22/2008:
I have gotten to the point of NOT making suggestions. I got sick of making suggestions only to be ignored and only later (sometimes a YEAR later) have a manager, supervisor, or 'favored-one' make the suggestion and be prased for such insite. Make me barf! So i just shut up. To illistrate a point I made the suggestion on tightening computer security and that security is where the future lays. A year later my (former) supervisor make an anouncement the IT Security is where it's AT!!! Another time I was in a meeting where one of the exiting contracters made the suggestion that since I like to tinker to see if I could make a bootable thumb-drive. I said that sounded like a good idea! After that meeting one of my co-workers whom I work closely with on projects stated "CK, you've been doing that two and a half years ago!!!" I stated that I knew that but it takes them that long for their ideas to catch up to what I am doing even if it's on my own. To my knowledge they haven't made a bootable thumb-drive yet! But you get what you pay for and they pay contract computer tech $12/hr!!!

Posted by Dumber than a Catbox full of sh*t on 03/22/2008:
I'm with CK--I don't give my suggestions in big forums--I save them for myself or a special project I want to work on with one of my fellow teachers.

Posted by BonusOnus on 03/23/2008:
I usually do the same thing too, unless there's a big mistake that can be avoided if others in the dept or group are reminded of something. However, people like L want to get ahead by self-promotion and what better way to do that than to try to be the center of attention in a big forum? He sickens me. All this posturing by him to make him look good, yet he's thought of as someone who talks a lot but delivers 1/2 of what he claims. If he just spent 1/2 the energy on "managing the perception" and spent that 1/2 on doing a better job, he'd be better off. But he isn't very good technically (other developers make fun of him behind his back at his ignorance) so he tries to make up for it by playing his games.

Posted by CK on 03/23/2008:
From what I have been reading when there is mistrust among employees it then becomes a free-for-all environment! The company/organization becomes tainted with the cancer of mistrust, lies, and manipulations and does not progress very far for very long (except for government agencies ... like where I work). I read once that if an employee comes up with an idea, even it has been suggested and failed before never, NEVER, EVER tell the employee that "It won't work here" or "We tried that before" or that they are stupid for thinking that would work! There is no way quicker to shut down an employee who is trying to think of ways to improve! Even it the employee is WRONG - it doesn't matter - he/she is THINKING!!! All the manager has to say is "Thank you." If you belittle an employee the employee shuts down. And what ever you do DON'T add to their suggestion! It only makes it look like their suggestion isn't good enough!

Posted by BonusOnus on 03/23/2008:
CK, Maybe. L has been known to make stupid suggestions and then go off and try to implement them, wasting time. My manager doesn't do a good job reining him in at times. I wish he would keep L on a tighter lease and have him focus on his work. It's good to encourage suggestions but there are employees (L) who don't learn from making bad ones and will continue to just make suggestions to promote himself. My boss's boss also does this (and he's incompetent).

Posted by CK on 03/24/2008:
That is a management issue then. If management goes willy-nilly at every suggestion without any filters ...

Posted by thelma on 03/28/2008:
Yes, it's definitely a management issue. If the boss won't (not can't) rein him in, that's not your problem.

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Wild hair-brain thoughts Written by CK on 03/05/2008I have been hearing a WILD story lately! I heard that our over glorified call ticket pusher thinks of himself as Supervisory/Management material and should be promoted! And what ... he has a High School diploma?!? He is more like a secretary than anything else.

I tell ya! This guy is french-kissing rear like a rabid Pepe La Pew. He has, on purpose, divided our department of his favs and the REAL workers. Of course the favs get all the fluff while the workers get all the cr@p work. I am a fine example of his handiwork.

Granted that I may be BIG as well as strong but there is only so much a body can take! And I was given a constant flow! I was told it is because I "am good at doing it." I explained that I try to do good at my job ANYWAY! Besides, no one else was willing to do all that lifting! And they are half me age! I guess Game Boy was more their style. And boy did I hear about all the whining about the work! "It's too much for one person to do!" was one that got back to me! When I went out I was told that it took at least two people to do the task that I was assigned on my own!
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Posted by CK on 03/06/2008:
I called a co-worker today that I haven't talked to in a while for a part. He sounded down so I asked him how he was doing. He said "fine ... just fine." I asked what's going on and how was work. He said that all work is to him is 'a job - just a job and a pay check.' I told him that we will have to talk later off-line. Yea ... work is now such a joy ...

Posted by truck21 on 05/10/2008:
You have to have a COLLEGE DEGREE to be a supervisor of idiots!!!!?? Says who, you???? It doesnot take "schooling" to learn how to "handle" people, or learn an excellent trade. I retired from welding in 1998. I was making $25.00 @ hr plus benefits. I never spent 1 minute in a class room in order to learn it. All it takes is perseverance and the will to "get it done"!! I have seen people with degrees that are driving trucks, digging ditches, working counters in McDonalds, all of which is "unskilled labor". All a degree proves is: You (or your parents) have alot of money, and you have made some one else a "millionare" just so you could waste more time NOT WORKING at a job that you could be "boss" of before you graduate. Just don't never try and tell someone: "You don't deserve to be a supervisor/manager because you don't have a degree"!!!

Posted by Wage Slave on 05/11/2008:
An education is not a waste of money. Many people pay their own way and are not millionaires. Why do you attack the people writing these posts?????? Did you read the other comments? Didn't you see they offered solid advice and encouragement? When I read your comments you degrade the writers. Also, why would you retire from welding and make less money?

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For Work Next Week Written by Dumber than a Catbox full of sh*t on 02/28/2008I came up with a new phrase--I think. Has it been coined before? The New Phrase is...Prima Donna Drama. We all have one.Add a Reply
The Ladies in my Office 101 Written by HR Hippie on 02/26/2008Here's a profile of the other ladies in my office. Since I'm female, I'll include my own, as well, to avoid any appearance of discrimination.

THE MANAGER - Sneaky and underhanded, she'll smile to your face then rip you apart behind your back. VERY self-centered to the point that casual lunchroom conversation is always centered around her, her life, her husband, her kid, etc etc etc. To the point where you hear the same stories over and over again.

She doesn't want any of her subordinates speaking to there managers, except through her. That way, she can spin the story to her liking.

She NEVER admits even the tiniest of mistakes. For example, she insisted she gave me some reports, which, she did clearly did not. Instead of, "oh, gosh, I thought I gave you those reports and here they were on my desk the whole time! Sorry about that!" it's a dirty look as she plops the reports on my desk, as if I REALLY HAD THEM at one point and put them back in HER office to be funny.

THE DYSFUNCTIONAL RECEPTIONIST - Spends more time on her personal cell than answering company phones. Is consistently late and misses a lot of work due to personal issues, but is well-liked by THE MANAGER and does well with customers so she gets away with a lot. Usually looks like hell every morning.

MISS "GEE I WONDER HOW THAT HAPPENED???" DATA ENTRY CLERK -Always has an excuse as to why errors occurred that do not include her own ineptitude. Very young and cute, which, I think, is what leads database and IT employees spend counteless hours trying to find somehing wrong in the process instead of with MISS GIWHTH's work.

SYBIL (aka MISS BIPOLAR) - We never know if she's going to be disgustingly jubilant or completely morose. Do we say hello... or just walk away. Prone to obscenity-laced tantrums that would get anyone else fired, but for some reason, she's still here.

THE OLDER ONE - Longest length of service of any of the office gals, but not the highest paid and she knows it. She's very bitter about that fact and tends to over-react to the small stuff. Can't keep her mouth shut about anything so don't trust her with confidential stuff. However, she's an EXCELLENT employee and very valuable to the company.

THE PERFECT ONE - (no, its not me!) Really knows her stuff and does a good job. However, when she does slack, her lack of follow-through trickles down through the entire system. Oh, and that's OK because she socializes with THE MANAGER. And I think the two of them are each others only friends.

THE ONE WHO SLEEPS WITH HER BOSS - Has been boffing her boss for over a year and I'm one of two people who know. It doesn't seem to be affecting work, but we all know that it will... eventually.

THE ANNOYING OFFICE-CLICHE GAL - Peppers everyday chit-chat with those stupid phrases that we all hate:
(on Monday)"It sure FEELS like a Monday!"
(on Tuesday)"Is it Friday yet?"
(on Wednesday) "We made it this far!"
(on Thursday) "It's almost Friday!"
(on Friday) "Hey, it could be worse! At least it's Friday!"

and finally...

THE PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE-YET-HIGHLY-EFFECTIVE JOKER - The admin assistant who knows how to perform nearly every job in the office, thus, must fill in when people are gone. Gladly accepts the challenge out loud, then bitches silently as her own work goes undone. Consistently receives praise from managers, but not from her own manager. Always making people laugh but could be seen as a bit overbearing. Pisses off management by not being a yes-woman all the time, and is prone to giving her opinion even when its not wanted. Not always the most professional person in the office, but knows when to turn on the charm if needed. Needs to learn to shut her hole when it's appropriate to do so. Wants more responsibility and willing to accept more accountability, as well, but works in an environment that's only conducive to stagnation. Would love to switch gears and move on, but the pay is so good that it would be impossible to find another company in this area willing to pay as much.
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Posted by Wage Slave on 02/27/2008:
Your characters are very vivid and realistic! I swear you came to my office and former employers' offices. Just add the guys who do nothing and are never reprimanded and you would have most offices. Have you thought about bringing them to the big screen. If you wrote about them, this would be much better than the movie "Nine to Five."

Posted by twiz on 02/27/2008:
I think you could probably paste these descriptions up at any water cooler in the country and folks would find matches for most of these "types". It appears to be an unfortunate side-effect of corporate America. You have to fit one of these roles to fit in...

Posted by SunnySideUp on 02/27/2008:
I agree; your descriptions were really good and I could see the people vividly in my mind. I'm assuming the last person was you. Your office could most likely make a good comedy series.

Posted by CK on 02/27/2008:
My question is when do the elephants come in and where is the popcorn!?!?

Posted by Fedup-TimeOut on 05/04/2008:
Twiz is absolutely right, because the article described several people in my office, but the sad part is, several of them have ALL of the traits combined, of ALL of the characters that were described.

Posted by Fedup-TimeOut on 05/04/2008:
CK, the elephants come in just before the clowns!

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Gold-digger! Written by FriendOfAFriend on 02/19/2008FOAF comin' at ya with another tale from Hell's Advertising Agency.

If you remember my previous story from my old job, you remember Rumor Man and his dastardly plans. However, I neglected to tell you about his wife. Madame Gold-digger! (In case you haven't noticed, I enjoy giving my ex-cow-irkers humorous names).

Now, GD wasn't exactly a bad lady. For all intents and purposes she was actually pretty decent. She wasn't a PHB, she actually knew her job (compared to 3/4 of the agency's workforce), but let me tell you, there was a reason we called her Gold-digger.

You see, it was fairly common knowledge that she married Rumor Man for his moolah. His manooch, his greenbacks, his cha-ching, his bling, his mon-ay. The problem is (and believe me, we heard enough of these laments for us to collectively buy earplugs) that he wasn't exactly that good in the bed department. Lady, we didn't need to hear this crap!

So, to quote Chicago, she started fooling around. Then she started screwing around, which is fooling around w/o dinner. But the real kicker is that she constantly did this to agency employees. And, due to her high position (her husband hired her and gave her a managerial post *cries*) she basically held the power of firing over us. She would flirt with anything that had legs!

Lucky for me she never tried to "attract" me (courtesy of her husband's little rumor, read previous story), but those she did, didn't exactly enjoy a great deal of longevity in the company. Either they quit or were shunted to another department, but they was going, going, go-o-ne.

And the real kicker is, she wasn't even that good looking, kind of plain. Oh, and Rumor Man never seemed to even notice either.

Tune in next time for my next tale of sorrow and woe, "Prank-o-matic!"
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Posted by the confessor on 02/19/2008:
While name-calling doesn't really solve a work issue. it does release steam, and provide humor. Here are a few of mine. Interestingly, most are from past jobs...maybe I'm getting smarter after all! Miss Buttock (Enorm-ass, Deformock, etc.) Petey Drunk-A-Lot Tom Pantysniff Katy Butt-boogie Karen Hatefield Martha Stap'd-It-On The Rodent I've got to stop here...I'm having too much fun!

Posted by sick of it on 02/19/2008:
YOU CRACK ME UP! I dig the screwing around is fooling around without dinner bit. LMFAO!

Posted by FriendOfAFriend on 02/19/2008:
Umm....thanks....can we get some ritalin over here? Rofl, yeah, last I heard, after Rumor Man got fired, she was filing (finally) for divorce.

Posted by CK on 02/19/2008:
One I like is "gong farmer" - It may not make sense but you have to be there ... in the 5th to 9th century! But what I sometime like to say (as an insult) is to call someone a "codd piece chewing gong farmer." *** As a note *** "codd" is spelled three different ways ... cod, codd, and coddd (and that is not a typo)

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a Jerk Written by Denverguy on 02/17/2008I'm doing a contract in Denver and this new guy from NJ started. He’s obese and on the first day he just glared at me in the meetings he glares at me all the time. And asks favors of people all the time and for money. We are in the computer field. He brags that he's this great singer with a great voice. He about 5'7" and weights about 340lbs. with a pocked marked face. He’s like Shallow Hal he thinks he’s great. He asked me how much I was making on the first week. I told him not much. then he pushed me to telling him and I gave him a much lower figure than he. He told me how much he was making and I got ripped off in negotiations. he also told me that he also has a gun with license to carry in the state of Florida, Ohio and NJ but not Colorado yet because he's not a residence.
Every day he puts on his head set but listens to me and the perm guys talk with is volume turned down. Then he'll get up and come over to me with a nurf ball and throw it at my head while I’m concentrating on my work. And he'll pull up a chair and sit behind me. I don't know what to do about this guy he invades my personal space all the time. He talks about one of the other guys that he’s an idiot etc. He's got tattoos’ up his arm and a big cross ear ring. He looks like a fat KC and the Sunshine van! I guess he's been married and divorced 3 times and his dad was a marine.
He came up to me the other day unexpectedly and asked me to drive him to the hospital for his day procedure and did it in a very intimidating way and I didn’t want conflict so I said yes I would. And then he asked me to drive him to the dealership to get his car fixed and because I live closest to him I said yes I would and I did that the other day.
Now if I got in an accident I world have been liable for him and out of fear and intimidation It world have been my own fault. I feel like a fool and a sucker. Now he wants me to drive him to the Hospital and pick him up from a procedure. he asks me almost every day at work he asks me to go out with them. He has a small following. Whenever the boss comes in he acts so nice. Our boss works from home so he's never there. The perm guys see what a jack ass he is. But they can't do anything about it they don’t want to look bad by complaining about him. So last week my boss instant messengers me that he wants to extend our contracts. So I told my boss yes. and I overheard them saying don't answer take your time answering him. you don't want to look desperate. that's what kind of jerks they are.
Now I’m having second thoughts about staying. When this guy goes away back home, the job is so much fun. All the stress is gone from the room! This week I want to tell him I’m not driving him and to find alternative transportation. and to stay out of my personal space.
When this guy doesn’t take NO for an answer, he gets red faced and glares and asks why when I tell him I don't want to go out with them after work. So how is he going to take the news I’m not driving him to the hospital. And to stay out of my personal space and get back to work I'm working.

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Posted by CK on 02/17/2008:
Someone like that would crawl under my skin as well! With gas as exspensive as it is just say 'no' and be done with it! If he gives you grief then tell him you took the bus into work. They still have RTD in Denver don't they? Get a couple of bus maps and stick them in your pocket! If he asks tell him that he can have one of your bus maps! Here is a story I read about a long time ago where a boss would always pick a volunteer to drive him to the airport. Drive like you are crazed! Hit every bump and pothole. When the light is green - floor it! When the light is red - stomp on the brake! The story ended that the boss was so white-knunkled that he never asked for a ride again!

Posted by dontask 0 :) on 02/17/2008:
CK : Gee I once had a bus driver like this.

Posted by Dumber than a Catbox full of sh*t on 02/17/2008:
CK--like your advice--the yellow traffic light signals...hurry-up!

Posted by CK on 02/18/2008:
When I lived in Denver RTD use to mean "Run Then Down" because they would run over peds.

Posted by Dumber than a Catbox full of sh*t on 02/18/2008:
This guy is a weirdo and you need to stay away from him. I smell danger.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 02/19/2008:
Why go to the trouble of risking a ticket by driving dangerously? Take the guy to the hospital and then go back to work and forget about him. I have worked with jerks like this and Denver, you are being used royally. The glaring at the first meeting was an intimidation tactic, this guy was looking for someone he could use and I hate to tell you but ...he found someone - you! I can tell you without meeting him that this guy is a master at using the system to his advantage, he will use tactics to intimidate you that are such if you go to HR they will simply shrug. So here is what you do, tell him you don't have time to drive him everywhere, if he starts huffing and puffing and pulling himself up to his full size tell him you are going to report him to HR for sexual harrasment. That will get him to back off.

Posted by FriendOfAFriend on 02/19/2008:
*nods sagely* Unless you have a "Catbert" as head of human resources, they should be able to do something about it.

Posted by pablopar1 on 06/08/2008:
it's simple. i also have an annoying retard working with me and my philosopy is "if you're not paying, i'm not playing". keep your cell phone in your pocket. the next time he tries to use you, pretend you got a call. don't even let him finish the first sentence while you "take the call" and start walking away, while giving him gestures that you'll "talk later". a few times and it should work. ignore him politely. he's not your responsibility!

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Super Bitch Written by NewbieTotheRealWorld on 02/15/2008You should know I am a male. early 20's and I am just landed myself a job in my field of study. This is really my first job out of college; the first job that will set up the rest of my future. I have only been there a week.

I made a comment to a co-worker that she was having lunch at 5pm, and she said to me "you cannot talk to me like that, me and bob have repor(however you spell it) but you and I don't, seriously". I said to her, "I don't think you understood me". then she said "I have a short temper that is just the way I am". Holy crap is she right, she bites off everyone's head even the bosses, and they all take it. she is training me to do her job.

I pray that they want me to replace her. So eventually she will be fired. that would be great. my day today sucked big hairy balls.
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Posted by Bookwoman on 02/16/2008:
You should know I'm an old lady (in my 40s, at least!) but I can totally relate to those kind of bad days that suck big hairy balls. Hang in there, newbie. Don't give her any ammunition. She obviously doesn't want to be friends, or even friendly. Just learn the job. It's spelled "rapport." The final t is silent.

Posted by CK on 02/16/2008:
I agree with bookwoman - keep your trap shut and learn. Just think of it as earning your dues. And if it get tough then come here and vent. We are all willing to listen and in some cases advice. I am sure some of us have been in simular situations and can give advice on how to handle these situations.

Posted by NewbieTotheRealWorld on 02/16/2008:
Thanks for the words of encouragement. Yesterday I felt like the whole world was coming to end. Today I feel better. I really dislike that woman.

Posted by Dumber than a Catbox full of sh*t on 02/16/2008:
Newbie--unfortunately she may be the first in a whole long line of a-holes that you work with. But we have survived and you will, too. One of the best things in life is that if you just get through the day--the next one can be completely different!

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 02/16/2008:
Ouch, makes you want to run right back to college doesn't it? Hang in there, this woman sounds as if she ENJOYS being difficult and no-one has stood up to her. If she snarls "You can't talk to me that way" again just say "In WHAT way would you like me to tell you that you are being a bitch?"

Posted by Bookwoman on 02/17/2008:
Southern, once again you make me laugh out loud. Unfortunately, it's because I myself actually SAID that once to a co-worker. (Yes, I've always been true to "it is what it is," and see where it's gotten me? But at least I have a sense of humor too!)

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Who Am I To Oppose Deserved Karma? Written by UnsupportedSupport on 02/12/2008Just sitting down to lunch with my Coke and my sandwich and I am asked to pick up the phone. It turns out the office paranoid back-stabber (that I have posted about before) went out to lunch and has a flat tire. I manage not to say, “Sucks to be you!” and hang up and instead ask why she asked to speak to me.

Apparently, it was because I was the only man in the office and changing a tire is men’s work. I hesitated while thinking of various exchanges that could be made based on this genre of stereotype. Maybe I don’t want to wash a dish in the office for as long as she works there. Perhaps she could vacuum my office once a week while I supervise. Having her clean the men’s bathroom could be fun. Breaking into my self-amusing thoughts she asks, “You really don’t want to come out here and change the tire?” I responded, “You don’t want to change the tire and that is why you called me.” The person she was with had someone on her cell so that was the end of the conversation.

As expected, she came into the office fuming and vented it all out on everyone else in the break room. I was happily back in my office by the time she returned. Turns out, I’m an a**hole. However, she seems to have overdone it, even for her. Some of her allies in the office have distanced themselves from her and I think this managed to show everyone a bit of how crazy she is. I don’t think I have ever been happier to be an a**hole.
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Posted by thelma on 02/12/2008:
Tell her to get AAA.

Posted by Dumber than a Catbox full of sh*t on 02/12/2008:
Good for You! One of my philosophies is Don't Help People Who are A-holes to You!!!

Posted by CK on 02/12/2008:
Payback is hell isn't it! I agree that she should join AAA. Couldn't she call a husband/BF? Tell us that she didn't want to ruin her manicure!

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Maybe Im being paranoid Written by secondchance1974 on 02/09/2008I sit next to the office " B--ch"...

She complains about EVERYTHING.... even now that she has been promoted... and she has a love/ hate relationship with me.....who has only been with the company 9 months... but moved up into her section.....Ppl says she is jealous,,, But I don't see it...

Anyway... the other day she did this child like sing song to me about how she " Knew secret about me" and when she finally spilled told me that her Ex bF ( who SHE dumped because she cheated on him)... had told her I had flirted with him when he used to work there!..

Now.... he was FIRED months ago for his bad behavior and Yes I was friends with him... but NO I didn't flirt with him....I feel he is trying to make her mad because she dumped him and now he has to go live with his Mommy across the Country.... But I assure U I had NO interest In flirting with him... HE However DID flirt with me but I just ignored it because it was just talk and he wasn't Coming on to me or anything...But I REALLY don't want to open up a can of worms and TELL her that...since I sit next to her and have to look at her nasty face all day....

Point is... He told her this... and that I started the flirting.... OMG so NOT the case.... so Now she thinks I came on to her BF at the time.. EWW!!...

And know her Lovely professional attitude.... she may just Blurt it out during work...." well U flirted with X".... because she is Just THAT Kind of Lady....

I really don't know how to handle this short of just looking at her and saying out loud...."UMMM.... Told u Once nO.... and I meant it..."

we work in a pretty open minded place.... so I really don't think my Boss would want to be bothered with this... so I would need to deal with it... so... any suggestions... or am I just being PMSy and Paranoid? lol
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Posted by CK on 02/09/2008:
There are always two sides of every story. He was jilted by her and now it's his way to get back at her. It also sounds like she is immature with her attitude and sing-song.

Posted by secondchance1974 on 02/09/2008:
No ur right she absolutely is.... my question is... how do I deal with it... if at all?

Posted by Dumber than a Catbox full of sh*t on 02/09/2008:
Let her think what she wants. If she is still listening to him--that's her problem. I would not even address his accusations about you.

Posted by Dumber than a Catbox full of sh*t on 02/09/2008:
Sorry--let it go--it will just open up more worm cans if you give it any legitimacy by talking about it at all to her.

Posted by CK on 02/09/2008:
I agree with Cat - let it go ... don't go down to her level.

Posted by secondchance1974 on 02/09/2008:
OK guys... If u say so.. I was just afraid thats how rumors get started if she said out loud and ppl on my team are gossip hounds....I didnt want my boss to also think there was an issue with professionalism either... but if u think just letting her act like a dumb ass out loud is enough to make it go away... then cool....

Posted by CK on 02/09/2008:
Just watch you P's and Q's, dot your T's and cross your eyes ... :-> Just do your work and she will probably move on to a different person because if you don't react then you'e no fun (to her) and she'll move on. Besides - If you give her enough rope she could hang herself! It will be HER that aquires a "reputation" and not you!

Posted by secondchance1974 on 02/09/2008:
OK guys... If u say so.. I was just afraid thats how rumors get started if she said out loud and ppl on my team are gossip hounds....I didnt want my boss to also think there was an issue with professionalism either... but if u think just letting her act like a dumb ass out loud is enough to make it go away... then cool....

Posted by secondchance1974 on 02/09/2008:
whoops.. sorry that was a repost....

Posted by Bookwoman on 02/10/2008:
The sentence you wrote in your initial post LEAPT out at me: "People say she is jealous." BEWARE. You said you were promoted to her old position after 9 months. How long did it take her to get the promotion she has now? A lot longer? She may see you as someone coming along behind her, possibly able to overtake her. While her current defense is the whole you-flirted-with-her-old-boyfriend line, it could quickly and easily turn to an attack in some other way or area. Don't let her rattle you, don't react, don't even respond. I once worked with someone who acted somewhat like this. I was rather taken aback initially because it struck me as unbelievably childish in a way that was so discordant with appropriate work place behaviour. I did not respond to the jibes at all and acted like I hadn't even heard anything that was said in this manner. This type of co-worker is poison. Stick to the job, and don't ever trust her, EVER. She's on her own little train-wreck ride. Don't get on board.

Posted by secondchance1974 on 02/10/2008:
No ur right.. I AM very wary of her.... I just hate the fact she may spread her poison around either in front of me to embarrass me or behind my back to colleagues to discredit me..... I realize I cant stop ppl from thinking what they want and her fro doing what she wants... I just wanted to know the best way to handle it... again, I dont think My Boss would want me to come to him with a petty problem like this.... but I aslo dont want it to get back to him....But my husband says Im just Maybe I should just wait it out and IF my boss does say something... just tell him its not true and I had already told her that.. since he KNOWS how she is and he likes her work but hATES her.... AND he was the one who pushes for her ex to be canned...

Posted by anonymous on 02/11/2008:
She acts as if she was the one who was dumped and now has to take it out on someone. You maintained a good work relationship with her boyfriend until he was fired. Add to this that she feels insecure and somehow threatened. For her you are the perfect target. Document her behavior just in case she invents a good story and your boss asks you to step into his office "for a moment" and stay calm.

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Why? Written by Quality248 on 01/27/2008It's always a little strange when people bitch about me because I am very boring. There's not much to talk about and, frankly, I didn't know anyone cared that much. But, apparently, they do.

I work in a small office -- which I suppose makes it even worse. Recently our company was swallowed up by a very big company and our small division is going to be shutting down. This means several people will be losing their jobs.

For the last ten years I have been working very hard to make a difference and drive improvements. I have been successful at meeting some important company goals and have worked with other divisions to help them with some quality systems stuff. Unfortunately, a few of my coworkers hate me and I cannot figure out why.

Someone complained to my boss that I am never there and, when I am, all I do is my homework. When he did not give them the answer they wanted they immediately complained to the H.R. department at our corporate headquarters. They're response: "She is too valuable an employee for you to worry about." :)

Recently, with all of the buyout and everything that's going on, I was offered a job at the corporate level. I have been put on some very aggressive projects regarding the merger and have given up some of my other duties in order to do well with these projects. I did not raise my hand and volunteer. I was told that this was what I was going to be working on.

The same said coworkers won't even talk to me. We had a potluck last week and they didn't participate. They are angry at management but taking it out on me.

I know that saying someone is "jealous" sounds very stupid and juvenile. However, I know that these people are jealous. I suppose I shouldn't care but I do. It hurts my feelings because after all of these years they are angry at me for being successful instead of being supportive.

I will try to get it off my mind. Writing it down helps. I will focus on being successful and stop worrying about what others think of it. I know that it's okay to be good at my job and to be wanted.

Thanks for letting me rant. Best of luck to everyone!

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Posted by CK on 01/27/2008:
It sounds like you are handling it well dispite the others. I tell you what ... just get out the song "Garden Party" and play it over and over again. You can't please everyone so just please yourself!

Posted by labtech on 01/28/2008:
CK's right. Look after yourself - you can't MAKE anyone like you. And some people just love to complain, and treat their jobs like an inconveniences, rather than the means to an end. Looks like your lazy coworkers are trying to save their jobs by making you look bad - and it isn't working, so good for you. We have a guy who lives 5 minutes from the job - but he never finished his bachelor's degree (even though the company would have paid for it !) and now whines endlessly that he has never been promoted - because he doesn't have a bachelor's degree. This guy is an idiot - and so are your coworkers for not trying to keep their jobs by actually working. Though, I will mention, it doesn't matter how hard you work sometimes - all that matters to management is The Bottom Line.

Posted by thelma on 01/28/2008:
You're lucky you have superiors who recognize that you are a good worker and that the lazy whiners are not. That's rare.

Posted by the confessor on 01/28/2008:
Your strong abilities fuel their fear of their own inadequacies. I agree that management supporting someone like you is rare. Put as much distance between you and these losers as possible. Good luck and happy days ahead to you!!

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server Written by scrambled on 12/31/2007Hi,
I have a job that I (up till now) have really liked. Almost a year ago, I got my friends husband a job at the same place. Oh My God, he is the most paranoid, angry, morale deflating person I have ever encountered. And now just a few days ago, the 2 of us got called outside for a confrontation. He had the nerve to tell me I was psycho....Mr Mood Swing....and when I told the owner of how disruptive his attitude was, the manager said "I don't see it that way". This guy walks around all day complaining that our customers are "in-bred" and how much he hates them, complains about how much money the other servers make because he is stuck delibrately in the back area that is not as busy as the front. When he is not complaining, he is text messaging another waiter This is weird, because he is 47 yrs old and his only friend is a bi-sexual 27 yr old, yeah creepy, considering he is married to one of my vest friends, who by the way isn't so best anymore either. I just don't know what to say to her, I am not going to bad mouth her husband) He is so disruptive, that I am looking for another job. I guess it is not just that I can't stand working with him, it is the reaction of my superiors letting him get by with this behavior that is very eye opening. I am a reactionary and have struggled with this situation because of the friendship part, but now he is just being hateful and vicious and I think I am the one that will end up paying for it. He was recently convicted of embezzlement from his last job and he has a gambling problem. ( I haven't told anyone this). His wife has already moved to Reno and for some eason, supposedly because of his probation, he can't go with her right much longer, I don't know.I don't understand why, unless he plans on staying here and leaving her.
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Posted by Dumber than a Catbox full of sh*t on 12/31/2007:
Sounds like the wife knew exactly what she was doing--ditched him and to assuage her guilt, used you to get him a job. She may or may not have known that she was putting you in the trick bag (knowing he was a bad worker) but I'll bet she knew this too-- can't hide losing your job due to embezzling from your wife. She is no friend at all.

Posted by CK on 01/01/2008:
Cat is right on many points. But I would like to add to her remarks. It sounds like the guy has many personal issues. He has a gambling issue (NV is not the place to be if you have a gambling problem!), he may not be out of the closet and so has frustrations pent up, he has embezzled - maybe to feed his gambling problem, thus making him harder to employ. Then he calls the customers inbred - it all sounds like the hostility is about to burst. I would highly recommend staying far away from him. Just pray he doesn't have guns! The guy needs, but probably can't afford, professional help.

Posted by the confessor on 01/01/2008:
I agree that this guy has serious personal, emotional, financial, and sexual issues. He reminds me of Psycho Boy Randy at one radio station I worked at. One day he was extremely agitated and disrupted. I confronted him and demanded to know what was up. He informed me that a female co-worker was "using her ass and feet (?!?) to control him"... 'Nuff said!

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 01/02/2008:
Don't let this guy run you away from a job you like unless you find something MUCH better for you. Sooner or later this creep will self destruct and will either leave or get thrown out. Remember, you did not do anything wrong except try to help someone in trouble, too bad your friend didn't disclose her husbands problems to you before. Good luck and keep us informed as to what happens.

Posted by scrambled on 01/02/2008:
Thanks you guys for all your comments. I really needed to vent. This guy really knows how to push my buttons and I am sooo afraid that I will say something to him and then I look like the bad guy. He is really good at that sort of thing. Another part of me doesn't want to believe that he is all so bad, either. I just don't want to be in the path of his wrath any longer and I don't know how to neutralize the situation. He is so overly sensitive and paranoid that I feel he will misinterpret anything I say. OH THE TENSION!!! And yeah, he is sorta creepin me out too. As for his wife, you're right! I have been letting her off the hook way too easy. She is the one who left town, has a new job and is with family. He is camping out with her aunt, can't afford to do anything else. Once again, thanks for your comments.

Posted by rodriguez on 01/16/2008:
buy him a gun, he will kill himself

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It Never Ends Written by misunderstood on 12/28/2007My main gripe is my coworker, I will call her Cindy, never pulls her weight around the office and what makes it worse is that the boss just thinks that Cindy walks on water. My idiot boss has no idea about what goes on in that office, there is only the three of us. What makes it so hard is that he would never believe me if I told him what Cindy pulls on a daily basis. First of all, I was at this company first and I'am full-time. When my boss and I interviewed this gal, it was understood that she would help answer the phone and wait on customers, and her position was only part-time. Well, from day one, she played it out that she had to be there all day in order to get her work done.....bull! There is no reason for her to be full-time and eventually, the boss allowed her to become a full-time employee. What my idiot boss doesn't realize, is that Cindy messes around with personal e-mail all day and even does personal work for an organization she belongs to on company time. I can be up to my elbows in paperwork but still have to answer the phone and wait on customers while Cindy sits in her office, eats and surfs the net. My boss baby talks Cindy and shows her special attention all of the time and even pays her more! No, they are not romantically involved. My boss talks down to me and never listens when I try to air my greviances. I have been job hunting but had no luck so far. I really like my job, but this crap with those two is making me see red. Cindy calls him horrible names and talks about him to other people behind his back. The idiot boss claims to be super religious, but is very judgemental and gossips behind peoples back every day, it's so disgusting. Oh, and all of the guys at work think Cindy is the best because she bats her eyes at them and goes out of her way to suck up to everyone and why? Because she can and the idiot boss makes her look good to them. Now me on the other hand, I sit there and work like a dog and it doesn't matter. Other people including Cindy see how my boss treats me and when I confront him on showing favortism, he just laughs at me. So, does anyone have any suggestions for me? My husband tells me to ignore them, but it's hard to do when you work in a small office and it is thrown in your face everday.

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Posted by CK on 12/29/2007:
Sounds like she is nothing more than eye candy. And if she does nothing all day while you do all the work then I would suggest that you just chill ... take two weeks vacation if you have 'em and be 'unreachable' - after all YOU'RE on vacation! Then let's see how things go in the office. And if 'eye candy' is still there when you get back then make sure that you do YOUR work cuz you have to catch up on it (and refuse to do HER job cuz you're too busy doing YOURS)! I would also make sure that I take my time doing it as well! After all, there is just soooo much of it! And on those two weeks vacation look for another job!

Posted by labtech on 12/29/2007:
I understand your pain, it's rough when the cute little princess gets away with doing nothing, and every male there thinks she walks on water. We got rid of ours over a year ago and these stupid men are STILL asking me if I have heard from her. Ours not only didn't do any work, she couldn't show up on time, and after a while the company got rid of her. It may take a very long time to get rid of your little Princess, so go looking for that next job ! Especially now that you know what idiots your bosses are.

Posted by BoneyardDiva on 01/01/2008:
CK has some really good advice there. Take a long vacation & sort things out in your head. Let them do without you! They'd probably have to hire a temp just to get things done! I had a coworker who was the laziest person EVER. She was supposed to be taking incoming calls & she would wander off from her desk, do personal e-mailing & other personal online work & probably made it into work about 50% of the time she was scheduled under the guise of FMLA. Well, that excuse FINALLY ran out (after about 2 yrs) & she was "let go." I think she tried to get the job back, but didn't have any grounds to return. I REALLY don't miss that loser.

Posted by rodriguez on 01/16/2008:
i recomend that you buy a gun and AT LEAST TWO BULLETS . i will leave the rest up to you

Posted by Cindy on 01/24/2008:
Well you fail at the simple job survival stuff. Cindy is obviously smarter than you. Also, you badmouth cindy and your boss on a blog. You're pretty the same.

Posted by Poor Cindy on 01/24/2008:
Looks like cindy found your blog. She reaps what she sews. She is getting what she gave. It's too bad for you, cindy. You're cheating yourelf on the reward of accomplishment. I pray you realise your ways hurt everyone around you, but they hurt you the most.

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old lady does not equal harmless Written by fed up with this on 12/28/2007I work with a miserable unproductive harvester of misery that is causing all of us to loose clients. She thinks nobody would suspect her, an old lady, of cursing out loud, berating clients, having personal call fights mid-office and slamming around things intermittently throughout the day. That may be, but I intend to record, hit play and dispel the myth so she can no longer play the "harmless old lady" card if I can do that. She is jealous of her friend who got the job she thought she was going to get when hires, She in spite of any level of supportive mentoring or help is unwilling to work unless she thinks someone important is near. She rips these same people down behind each others backs just like everyone else. She is in a low position and only intends to be a slow acting poison to the boss and everyone she's around because she is opposed to doing her job. She practically has HR on speed dial daily for CYA when she's late or wants to invent an issue or excuse. She milks away every hour of pay she can while mostly making personal calls to stir fighting wherever she can. She makes it impossible to do business. She acts like it's a free ride. Other people her age work as hard as anyone and yet this one person takes advantage of the place and destroys our company client relationships with her foul mouth and our office moral with her quiet gossip. It's time to throw mama from the train before it derails. Does anyone here know how to get rid of a nasty person like this?Read 5 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by the confessor on 12/29/2007:
If you read other posts ("It Never Ends") this person is angry and feels entitled to do these things. She needs to be stopped TODAY. Visit and Recording her and documenting her behaviors are a great start.

Posted by dontask 0 :( on 12/29/2007:
Before you start anything do some sleuthing: Find out if your Old Lady is close to retirement. Don't rely on anything she says. Find out her real age and how long she has been....working. *Find out if she has any protectors in high places, relatives, grown children friends local politicians e.t.c.* If any of these facts fit it may be a wasted effort to do anything; or you may have to change your plans, play along until your find something better. Remember, she has played this game since before you were born and she became very good at it. Aging sociopaths have to end up somewhere. Therefore proceed with caution! Don't want to write a long paragraph about my little old lady experiences it could turn into a small book by the time I am done.

Posted by Dumber than a Catbox full of sh*t on 12/29/2007:
Our "Little Old Lady" is a secretary in the office. She is awful--she thinks she is the Boss and hasn't even gone to college or ever taught a class (we are teachers). Since the new Principal took over though, she has had to clamp it with her rudeness and condecension towards others. I hate her.

Posted by rodriguez on 01/16/2008:
kill her with your car.

Posted by Quality248 on 01/27/2008:
My advice is to take the high road. Don't play into her gossip. When she tries to gossip with you tell her you don't appreciate it and that you don't participate in gossip. When she does things that can harm the company you have a responsibility to report her. If she is behaving disrespctfully to clients she should be fired. I think her supervisor should be made aware of it and, if nothing is done, then it needs to be moved up the chain. Don't worry -- these people tend to hang themselves. Just be patient.

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Men Behaving Badly Written by BoneyardDiva on 12/26/2007Several of our newer call center reps think it's fun to run around in the aisles, wrestle & yell over their cubicles at each other during business hours. Yes, really. One guy even broke another guy's shoulder because they were rough-housing. Their managers seem to promote this immature behavior & one manager seems to think he's coaching a kid's ball team. He constantly yells "GO TEAM!" & "HOW ARE WE DOING TODAY?" in a very loud voice. This can be heard all across the call center.

Needless to say, if I brought up the immaturity of the CSRs to their manager, he wouldn't do anything about it. Therefore, I will be sending the information to the manager's supervisor to see if something can be done about the disruptive behavior the rest of us have to endure on a daily basis. I'm sick of the stupidity!
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Posted by Dumber than a Catbox Full of Sh*t on 12/26/2007:
Wow! You just described my work environment--an inner city high school! Contact your insurance carrier anonymously to report that the broken shoulder incident was a result of this type of behavior--not the "accident" which I'll bet was listed on all the paparwork.

Posted by CK on 12/26/2007:
Is the now injured worker on Worker's Comp??? After all, he was injured on the job! Also what kind of place do you work?!? Rumpus Room? How old is the boss? 10 years old?

Posted by bored Techie on 12/28/2007:
WTH is wrong with you? You're the type of person that drags down morale. I'm wondering if you take incoming calls or are the type of jerk that calls people at home during family dinners. I *know* you don't do tech support, cause then you'd know that fooling around is necessary to keep sane. That "work shouldn't be fun" mentality is a bunch of BS. You have to enjoy your work environment to excel, and sometimes, it involves getting a little out-of-hand. Why don't you see if you can move farther away from these antics, readjust the seating arrangement before you go rat on people? True, the shoulder thing is an extreme, but how often does something of that magnitude happen?

Posted by labtech on 12/29/2007:
Bored Techie, Please grow up. When the workplace is unprofessional, it demeans the company and disrupts business. You wouldn't last a week where I work, which is what happened to the last "Fun" guy that was hired. He thought it was fine to run around whooping and hitting people too, which is all well and good if you're in kindergarten.

Posted by Dumber than a Catbox full of sh*t on 12/29/2007:
I'll bet that bored techie is under age 25. They call it "work" buddy--as in "I'm going to work" not "I'm going to fun." Grow-up--you must be the fool that the Poster is complaining about.

Posted by BoneyardDiva on 01/01/2008:
It sounds like "bored Techie" is one of the guys dancing around in the aisles at my job. I work in a cable company call center & believe me, wrestling & throwing things around in the aisles is VERY inappropriate. Most of the supervisors just turn a blind eye. I have forwarded the information about the situation to these idiots' supervisor's supervisor. (Their supervisor won't do anything about it & seems to encourage their actions) I think this other supervisor will return tomorrow, so we'll see how it goes. Thx for the support!

Posted by rodriguez on 01/16/2008:
you should poison everyone with laxatives. they wont be wrestling much after that.

Posted by SunnySideUp on 02/27/2008:
Dumber than a catbox, why does it have to be an inner city high school and not just high school in general? Rough housing occurs everywhere and being inner city makes it no difference. That statement seemed a little prejudiced. I agree with Bored Techie in regards to the employees are having fun. Its okay to enjoy work but if its disrupting others than it can be turned down a little. But if they are only having fun with each other, whats the big deal? And no, I'm not under 25. I'm just of the notion that just because your work is boring does not mean you should not be able to have fun.

Posted by catbox on 02/27/2008:
Sunny--there is a lot of differences between a high school and an inner-city high school. Here are just a few under the category of safety/crime:here we have several full-time police officers--not security--I mean full-fledged police officers in addition to our security. The police even have their own office. It's our police station here within the school. The cops are armed and daily kids are escorted out of school handcuffed. We have metal detectors and in addition the security personnel have the wands. I have had my car keyed with the word "*uck" on the hood--the "f" was about 8' long. And my car has also been keyed all the way around and the windshield broken. From my experience in working at and being in contact with teachers and others in education--the inner city is different from just "high school."

Posted by catbox on 02/27/2008:
And I've had my wallet stolen by a student. He was a professional pick-pocket.

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Leaving the Mad House Written by A Rolling Stone on 12/20/2007I work in a small company that has 12 people. Most of them are not tech savy, do not get along with each other and scream like whiny children. They rely on me for a lot of office support. I'm smart, kind and have always been respectful of others. But a lot of good this has done me!

Several months ago, a new supervisor was brought in and given a lot of room to make changes in the organization. SHE bitched about how awful situations were and started hiring her friends and friends of friends to work at our company. It has now turned into a frikkin family reunion!!!!

It didn't take long before two camps were formed: us, the old staff --- verses -- them, the family)

The "family" gets to laugh it up, have extended lunch breaks and unexplained absences and vacation days. The old staff work early and late hours, get to have lovely meetings about performance issues and get publicly humiliated for every thing we do. Sadly, I fall into the category of the old staff. I don't deserve being humilated and recently submitted my resignation.

My resignation didn't seem to phase anyone. However, now that I'm nearing my last day, folks are suddenly panicking.
My supervisor has practically camped outside my door for fear that I have vital information stored in my head and that I can't leave without divulging secrets. The information stored in my head is called SKILL and TALENT. And these f##kers don't have it. You are born with it.

One of the new people who has been the most verbal bitch to me asked if I had any work tips or information that I need to share with him. I wanted to sock that son-of-a-**** in the nose. Instead, I simply said "NO". He walked away, but I'm sure that this won't be the end of it. He'll go ratting to the supervisor that I'm holding back secrets.

I'm feeling so angry, yet so calm, and so twisted. I don't know what to feel.

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Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 12/21/2007:
Congratulations on leaving the madhouse! IMO, it is always alarming when a manager starts their duties by bringing over friends and cronies. This signals the new manager has decided everyone is incompetant or the new manager needs to be surrounded by a bunch of yes-people. The situation you describe, old hires vs new hires, is a 'push out'. This is where the manager pushes the old work force out by replacing them with his/her own team of selected people. I have gone through this and have also been part of 'the old staff'. It is a very humiliating situation to be in. The only information you should divulge before leaving is information needed by your replacement. IE: Passwords, support phone numbers, etc. You do not need to divulge information pertaining to your skills: IE: "I fixed Alices Excel problem by...." Again, congratulations.

Posted by ResearchScientist on 12/21/2007:
I would not even divulge passwords or whatnot! If you have another job lined up or are independently wealthy burn the Mother F#cking bridge to the ground!!!! I would not care if they lost vital years of work over my departure. I would come in to work on my last day dressed to go to the Bahamas and tell them that you hit the lottery and you are never coming back! Call all of them poor working slobs and treat them like servants. When you walk out the door for the last time turn around and toss a dime to someone and say, "Treat yourself to something nice!"

Posted by UnsupportedSupport on 12/21/2007:
Wow, I can empathize. I am the support person for 13 people at a small business. Very, very non-tech savvy. I would go so far as to call at least half of them tech-retarded. While gathering kindling for my own bridge burning ceremony, another idea occurred to me. Instead of letting it all burn down, when they don't know how to do anything after I am gone, I will offer my services as a consultant for about $115 an hour plus mileage with a minimum one hour charged per request.

Posted by the confessor on 12/21/2007:
Yea and verily, huge congrats on getting out...better days are ahead!! As far as secrets go, they obviously know nothing about the business. Even if you gave them an honest and exhaustive run-down of everything, they wouldn't understand it, and will either blame you or even try to call you in to fix it for free. Bye-bye loser family!!!!

Posted by CK on 12/21/2007:
$115 !!! I would say $200 with a minimum number of hours (regardless if you work all the hours or not!).

Posted by Squee on 12/30/2007:

Posted by b3 on 12/31/2007:
I was in a similar situation, and can only congratulate you for leaving. I left, and it took my former company a full 3 days to feel the impact of my leaving. I was getting phone calls for a week with the owners asking me how I performed my job. I told them they were the ones that hired me, they should know. I was also the technical contact for the company. My guess is it will take them 3 or 4 people to do the work I was doing, as I was already doing 3 or 4 people's work. Best of luck.

Posted by rodriguez on 01/16/2008:
you should have the place fumigated while they are inside

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The Bitch can't let go!!! Written by scorpmomma on 12/20/2007this chick is always around ,has no life.and I am being compared to her..shes's been with the company for 3 yrs how could I know what she knows!!!Read 4 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by IILL on 12/20/2007:
Jealous much! Why don't you work harder and be honest and get ahead the old fashioned way, instead of being jealous of someone, make a name for yourself. She has a right to be there just as much as you do, unless you are insecure and unable to do your job.

Posted by Wage Slave on 12/22/2007:
IILL, This website is a forum to vent. I don't see any jealous statements in the original post.

Posted by ksdjflksdyre9o on 12/26/2007:
Wage slave the poster made no argument, he or she has no right to tell someone whether or not they have to right to be around their own work place. Please. Then states that everyone compares him/her to this woman he can't stand to have around. Sounds like jealousy to me, which is very common problem with bullies. They are usually very insecure and jealous of their target!!!

Posted by Squee on 12/30/2007:
First off, why is it a bad thing that you are being compared to her? She's been there for three years and it seems like you've been there for less. If you think about it, that might be an accomplishment. Honestly, if you want to be better, all you've got to do is do your best, without overworking yourself. You are all you have, so why take cheap shots to the top? (Doing that is completely fake and everybody will know what you're doing.) So, why don't you learn how to properly form a sentence and do what you're supposed to do?

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What do I do? Written by HaveADamnNiceDay on 12/18/2007Hi Guys, sorry I've been absent for a while. I've had to get a root canal, and I've still been fighting that damned dragon called insomnia, so I haven't been by the site in a while....I've been out cold on my face on my living room couch.

However, I've been pondering this for a while, and wanted to bring it before the other wizened schmobbers for review and opinion:

There is this guy at work, we'll call him Joe. Joe is a fellow nerd like me, and has an appreciation for the same games and anime that I do. However, there lies therein a creepiness to him that has had several little red flags waving in my face over the last ten months.
When I met Joe, it was generally understood that he favored girls of generously proportioned lower halves, particularly black girls.
I am not black, but I happen to have a generous lower half, and that part of me seems to because for attention from this guy. He would say something about it nearly every time he saw me push open a door with my rear end (hands full of mail or what have you), and I always found it weird. It made me feel weird.

When halloween came around, he said to me,"It would be so cool if you came to work dressed like Rikku (scantily clad video game character from Final Fantasy X-2) for halloween!"
I looked at him funny and mentioned she barely wore anything and it wasn't appropriate for work.
That started to weird me out when he would repeat himself.

Another time I had worn a favorite old dress that I often wear to work, and I happen to think it compliments me well, and drapes nicely. When I handed Joe his daily stats (which always suck because he barely works--I believe the only reason he still has a job is because his aunt is one of our managers), his eyes wandered over my pelvic region, and he said, "You're teasing me."
Quite frankly, that's the most openly disgusting thing anyone has ever said to me in a work setting.
I really wanted to kick him in the face right then and there.
There was nothing suggestive about my dress. The hem is down to my KNEES for pete's sake.

So, I was discussing these incidents with my lunchtime walking buddy, and she said he'd said similar things to her. Whenever she walked past him he'd make comments about her butt. She declared he is very much a creep and she doesn't talk to him anymore. I had actually done the same, as I was getting sick of his weird comments, and my responses became, "You used to be nicer. What happened?"
I eventually stopped talking to him altogether. I think he's mad at me for never flirting back and ceasing socializing with him completely. He's begun to insult me from time to time, and it really bothers me.
Have I become a recipient of sexual harassment? Should I speak to the company president or the owner? They like me very much, and I really don't want to rock the boat, but I do feel that one of these days I'm going to break both of his knees and then his face.
Recalling these events makes me feel violent and angry.
What do I do?
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Posted by ResearchScientist on 12/19/2007:
I think every women has had this happen to them. It starts off innocent and friendly banter to make nice with other coworkers, and then it turns sinister and unwanted. The thing is he has not learned that the relationship will never be sexual, he probably does not know how to talk to a women without being suggestive. I have the same problem here. Men think it is okay to flirt with me because I am single and therefore I must be receptive to all of their flirting. I have to live with this to keep the peace. My boss would never dream of doing something like this,and this guy has had several verbal warnings from HR. He thinks I must be desperate! I want to scream in his face that I would never ever find him attractive in a million years and that I love being single because I can do what I want when I want. I do not know what to say other than call him out. If he says something suggestive flat out tell him that these advances are unwanted and leave you unsettled. Be polite at first and tell him that his advances are unwanted but you value his platonic friendship and you his quirky sense of humor but the relationship will never be sexual in nature. EVER! However if he persists in making these rude inappropriate comments you will report him to HR for sexual harassment. Some men never learn that friendly social banter does not mean that you want to jump in bed with them. DUH!

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 12/19/2007:
Well, the kicker is he KNOWS I'm married, met my husband and everything. We've made jokes of that nature, but never directed at one of us or anyone else. I don't like the way he looked at me. It made me uncomfortable. He does not joke with me anymore because I began ignoring him, and because I don't flirt back. The moment he walked up to my desk, my boss said to him "You're too late, joe, she' already married." I hate confrontation, and I really don't want to sit there and tell him while his aunt is sitting 10 feet away that he's being inappropriate and needs to stop. To boot we don't really have an HR dept. Just managers, owner and president.

Posted by Interesting on 12/20/2007:
I had the same thing happen to me here at work. I kept telling the guy directly to knock it off. Telling him that his words were unwanted and inappropriate. After a couple of months, he didn't get the hint, so I went to the super. Now he's gone in the opposite direction. Tries to make fun of me and what not. So I started ignoring him and for the most part it works. He does make snide comments from time to time, but I don't care anymore.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 12/20/2007:
Yes you are being harrassed and this guy can't find a clue with both hands. So far you have told this creep he makes you feel uncomfortable. He has met your husband, knows you are married and still continues to harrass you and others. You job does not have an HR department so you have only one recourse, you need to talk to the boss and tell him that creepo is making you very uncomfortable. If the problem does not stop then you need to either find a lawyer or find another job. No-one should have to put up with this.

Posted by Dumber than a Catbox Full of Sh*t on 12/20/2007:
I agree with S.P.! This guy is a whack job!

Posted by Bookwoman on 12/21/2007:
I sort of understand that you don't want to rock the boat, but maybe you need to re-examine that perspective. For those of us on the outside, looking in at your scenario, your creepy co-worker is the one rocking the boat, not you. It actually sounds like you want to stabilize the boat. Go to your boss/owner. If you give them the head's up/opportunity to handle this guy, you may be saving the company from a sexual harassment lawsuit by some other employee who wouldn't have your patience with such unacceptable behavior. There is a difference between casual whining about other people's treatment of you, and true harassment. To expect civil, respectful behavior from co-workers is your right. In this case, this guy is so blatantly off base you would actually be remiss if you did not address it.

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 12/22/2007:
Thanks for your input, guys. I have a lot to think about. Perhaps I'll bring it up after the holiday.....

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 12/22/2007:
It's a good thing the company is run and owned by a woman.....

Posted by BoneyardDiva on 12/26/2007:
Everyone has given great advice. I had a similar situation occur where a guy was telling me to come & get his "duck sauce" (he was Asian, but I didn't find it funny). I had a copy of a text message he sent me saying this & I sent it to a supervisor. The guy was taken to see the VP & he tried to blame ME for the situation. Luckily, our VP is a woman & saw right through him. He eventually backed down & resigned. Listen, you have to fight for your right to a safe, comfortable working environment. Please tell someone in authority!!

Posted by Zoomer on 01/13/2008:
Document, document and document. Keep a diary of his offenses and make no secret of it. You could also try finding some leaflets on Sexual Harrassment on leave them lying around . As for the dress down to the knees the BBC had a interview with a Muslim that had him complaining that a woman walking past was flaunting herself deliberatly. The reporter pointed out to him that she was wearing a full veil and ground brushing dress and had never even looked i their direction. Some men will assume anything about any woman in their area whatever the women do or not do. Oh, yes before someone says "Man hating Lesbian" I am male

Posted by Quality248 on 01/27/2008:
What do you do? You report him and get him FIRED!! No person, woman or man, should ever feel uncomfortable at work. If he doesn't get FIRED then you get his boss FIRED or you sue them. Believe me, that will get their attention. Don't let anyone make you feel creepy or unsafe at work.

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When can I start doing my job? Written by price mizer on 12/17/2007I was hired nine months ago to take over duties for someone else at a company so the other person could handle other things that needed to be taken care of. Long story short, the owners don't like the way she was doing the job but like the fact that she has been around for so long, they want her to stay and use her tenure for something that will benefit her and the company which is great for everyone.

You'd think everything would be fine, but she is not happy about the change and now doesn't want to do the job. I knew this was going to happen. She never bothered to train me when they asked her to show me things, when I asked her things sometimes she'd tell me the truth, sometimes she didn't and I'd waste time running around for no reason. I've put up with her tantrums, silent treatments, nasty emails and's a lot for one person to take but this is a great job opportunity and I don't want to give it up. I also can't find another job with this kind of pay.

I've been nothing but understanding which management is incredibly grateful for, but I've told them it's gotten totally out of hand and told our manager several times that something needs to change. Now the gal has been told she officially needs to do her new job as issues keep coming up which could easily be fixed if she'd do her job...and she literally still will not leave her office or take steps to start her new position, won't do anything else...just continues to try to do my job. She is being stubborn and in my opinion, is just waiting for things to blow over so she can go back to things the way they were.

No "official" announcement has been made to have everything switched completely over to me so when anyone comes to her with anything, she doesn't give it to me and does it herself. She also continues to try to one up me on everything which is really pathetic.

I've warned management that I'm moving forward and if she blows, she blows, because I have things to do. They seem fine with it as they agree. They know now that this has gone on too long and say they are now finally ready to tell her that she either has to accept this job or leave. It's been a month...I'm not kidding.

I've never experienced something as crazy as all of this! I keep getting asked to be patient but this is crazy! I know they need to just sit her down, tell her to clear out her stuff and get to work or get out, but this is ridiculous!

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Posted by Dum Dum Da Dum , Dum Dum Da Dum (funeral music) on 12/17/2007:
Can you, could you, would you be willing to take her new job? Maybe if she had her old job back, her 2020 hindsight may encourage her to actually do it.

Posted by the confessor on 12/18/2007:
The problem here is obvious. Everyone agrees that she should move on in some way EXCEPT her. You need to sit down with her with appropriate HR and management people there and present her with a legally valid agreement that she will move on as of that date. Refusal to sign the agreement or start in new position signifies a de facto resignation. Point out that she is refusing to follow direction by doing a job assigned to her. This is insubordination and wage theft. Don't fool around with this twinkie. I'd get rid of her NOW...

Posted by the confessor on 12/18/2007:
PS- In my experience, a passive-aggressive monster like this will continue to throw monkey wrenches around no matter what. When we finally rid ourselves on one such person at a radio station I helped manage, she made surprise "visits" back even though she had been asked to leave. Despite being confronted by myself and the regional manager and knowing the police had been called, she slowly slithered to the door as both of us kept chanting "out, out, out" to her. Only after the police served a notice of trespass to her did it stop, though she continued to meanmouth us in public. Look up passive aggressive disorders, and use this info when presenting your case for her dismissal. Make no mistake, she will not rest until you're fired or the company is crippled!!

Posted by the confessor on 12/18/2007:
Here are some signs of a passive-aggressive co-worker: 1. Procrastinates. 2. Sulks, becomes irritable or becomes very quickly argumentative. 3. Tends to work slowly or deliberately do a bad job on tasks that he or she really does not want to do. 4. Protests (unrealistically) that everyone is making unreasonable demands. 5. "Forgets" obligations. 6. Believes that he or she is doing a much better job than others think. 7. Usually resents useful suggestions from others on how to become more productive. 8. Fails to do his or her share of the work, thereby obstructing other's efforts. 9. Unreasonably criticizes people in positions of authority. 10. Cannot seem to accept responsibility or blame for problems resulting from their poor performance and tend to project this blame on others.

Posted by price mizer on 12/18/2007:
Thank you so much for your comments and I couldn't agree more! I've warned management that she's passive agressive but I don't think they realize just how serious that type of personality dynamic can be in the workplace, especially the level she takes it to. There is no mistaking the problems we've been having are a direct result of her unwillingness to cooperate, you'd fall over if I told you! And yes, I can tell she trying to take me down as well as our boss and has been for some time. I've already talked to the boss again yesterday and apparently, we're still "waiting for her attitude to change...". Wow. I'm sitting here trying to do my job which is extremely difficult with her doing things behind my back. My next move? I'm going into the president of the company and not sugar coat the turd and let him know exactly what is going on and just how much more he stands to lose if we all wait. I'm also going to let him know that if the issue here seems to be everyone is afraid to take a stand with this gal, hand it over to me and I'll take care of it. Things move way too slowly around here. And I totally agree, everyone should sign a basic duties agreement with regard to compliance. If she refuses, then don't let the door hit her ass on the way out. Thanks! ps and yes! I'd do her new job in a heartbeat. In fact, I've tried to help out with daily duties and formed reports as time has gone on and I've seen the problems we've had and how this position and she'd be great at the job.

Posted by the confessor on 12/18/2007:
A good way to illustrate this behavior is to place a pen on the table. Then say to your bosses "ask me for the pen, as politely as you can". Once they do, extend your arm just short of the pen and with a mincing expression on your face go "Gee, I guess I can't help you...". This is a vivid depiction of the passive-aggressive response. Follow up with documented examples of her behavior. At the conclusion of each, comment that "I guess she just can't reach that goal..."

Posted by Bookwoman on 12/18/2007:
I had a somewhat similar experience once. I worked for a family owned company and one of the daughters was "demoted" from a lucrative sales position to Accounts Payable. Basically someone walked in the door and sold herself in the sales job, although there was really no plan to hire outside. The family placed her in the A/P job at the same salary as the sales job (the highest paid A/P person ANYWHERE). The daughter was so angry that she started coming in late, leaving early, not showing up....the daughter and I had actually been good friends, up to this point. Now she was reporting directly to me and just had fits. I even sat down with her to say if she wasn't going to be in, just let me know and I'd do the work (we lost alot of discounts and had supplier problems because her work was so hit-and-miss). I really thought I was nuts to tell her I'd do her job for her, but what else could I do? She was part of the family...anything that went wrong would be laid at my door anyway. I tried speaking to the family about the situation and got nowhere. I actually ended up quitting, in part because of this situation. At least in your scenario the woman is not a relative! It's obvious, though, that your management, despite their WORDS, are loathe to ACT. Beware....

Posted by CK on 12/18/2007:
Regardless of what other people posted but it could also be that she is afraid of change and would like things to remain the same. Problem with that is that if you don't change you may be left behind (or even in this case let go). A good example is that Jack Welsh would use the 80/20 rule. If people were against the change that it were these very people who would hold up progress and were let go. The very same could happen to your 'friend.' Upper management may be fully aware of the situation with your co-worker. The only advice that I can give you is to be an advocate for the change - or in other words be a change-agent! This will put a good light in your favor towards management.

Posted by price mizer on 01/04/2008:
Thanks for everybody's support and comments! You are not going to believe this, but she is still sitting in her office pretending to not know what she is suppose to be doing. Our supervisor kept telling her not to be interfering with my job duties and to focus on hers, so now she just places orders for the day and the rest of the time? We are not sure. She has dropped the ball several times on basic duties she is supposed to be handling, typical passive agressive behaviors, and I keep warning management it's only going to get worse...which it did. It has now spilled over into other departments. And as I said, they STILL haven't done anything about it. I sat down and visited with her yesterday to see where her head was at. She said she didn't know what her job was anymore, that our supervisor hadn't discussed anything with her, she didn't know what her goals were, lied to me about various things (I know because I had visited with vendors about the things I asked her about)...unbelieveable. Then came in to work today to find her once again attempting to do my job again! I let management know she and I visited, to show I made an attempt to work things out and let them know what she told me and told them everything I said, so it's up to them. I really wish they'd let me be director of this department. Let me write up her duties and make her sign an agreement. I could probably get her to clean out her desk in about 5 minutes.

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EX Written by Ex-boyfriend on 12/14/2007I got a great job, but my ex, who is still in love with me (I broke up with him A YEAR ago)works here too. We get along OK (I ignore him), but now I'm dating his roommate! Can you say Tense??Read 1 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by UnsupportedSupport on 12/14/2007:
Wow, that would be tense enough if you didn't work together. From where you are, none of it is really your problem. I just hope the guy you're dating knows the situation he is putting himself in. I don't think I would sleep too soundly if your ex knows or becomes aware of the situation. If you can ignore your ex at work, then it sounds like you just have some awkwardness to deal with, but any actual confrontation is not likely to occur.

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Knows my button and *#@! pushes it every time Written by beyond being a professional on 12/03/2007I work with a SOW that enjoys the EXCREMENT out of seriously p*#@ing me off. God, I'd like to run over her in the parking lot a dozen times and squish her nasty guts down the sewer hole. I've done all the corporate POSTERIOR kissing suck-up and shut up EXCREMENT that I can stand, she doesn't change; but I'm supposed to keep putting up with her crap. She's stupid, overpaid and can't hear a (EXPLETIVE) word anyone says to her. Her title is engineer, but she couldn't engineer her way out of a pile of EXCREMENT. How's this language for professional? OMG, I've been working professionally for 18 years, and I've never met anyone who I'd like to force feed drain cleaner to more than this one. Read 4 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by CK on 12/04/2007:
Sounds like someone has anger issues ... I would recommend a cool-off period. Take a vacation or at least some time off before you blow a gasket or something! A new year is coming - try to make something positive about it like dusting off your resume and looking for a new job (like the rest of us). We all have bosses and co-workers that we would like to see drawn and quartered at times but to be that angry is not worth ruining my health over. So what that they are A-holes - you can't change them! You can only change yourself. I have been stabbed in the back by some many co-workers and bosses that I almost expect it! And what can I do? Nothing! Nothing but keep looking for another job. I realize that this is how they treat other people they dislike (and those are the ones who are the best and hardest workers in the orginization).

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 12/04/2007:
Take a vacation quickly! This person sounds like she is seriously increasing your blood pressure and it's not worth it! Is anyone else having problems with this person? There are three options you have: 1) Get another job, 2) Get over it, 3) Have a heart attack from getting angry. If you can, take time off and get this person out of your mind! I seriously doubt SHE is as upset as you are.

Posted by Wage Slave on 12/05/2007:
Remember, no matter what you are not causing this. She has the problem. I had a similar boss (a Crazy Monkey) and for nearly a year I came home feeling like I was worthless. I transferred away from her department and within a week my confidence returned. She has replaced my position twice since July 2007, because no one can stand her. I am very thankful for this site because I could vent without repercussions. The comments directed to my posts reminded me there are toxic bosses and toxic worksites. I hope you can escape as soon as possible.

Posted by Quality248 on 01/27/2008:
My advice? Always take the high road. No matter how you are feeling inside don't let anyone know at work. When you have an issue, make sure you have your facts straight and document it to the co-worker and your boss. It will pay off in the long run and you will be the better person. If you can't do that then you won't be successful in life. There are always people like this. On the other hand, you need someone you can talk to honestly. Everyone needs one friend at work with that lets them vent and get out the frustration. That's why this site is helpful. Say whatever you want here -- just don't say it at work.

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and I? Need to be more compassionate? Written by secondchance1974 on 12/01/2007I am now in a CS position with a chance to excel. I do TRY to be compassionate but there is ONE guy that drives me batty! it is an office wide problem and everyone has tried to deal with him. Dilbert DANCES at his desk in front of the CEO while he is interviewing ppl, gives out wrong information to clients, talks over ppl, is condescending to the new workers, has done everything but full out physically sexually harass the female workers ( all expect me for some reason, I think he knows better), and this past week FELL asleep at his desk. He is so underproductive and has actually asked ME why ppl don't like him, why he keeps getting called into the Bosses office and what he is doing wrong. I told him what I saw, since he asked me.. and he ARGUED with me, and NO changes were made. Another co-worker and I were talking about it, and a project manager who is not over us but is Mid management made a comment that " I need to be more compassionate If i ever want to be a manager". Am I crazy? I have tried to ignore it, deal with it on my own, talk to the boss about it, talk to HIM about it, all of it and NOTHING helps... and I get slammed from a higher up.. am I missing something?Read 13 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by dumber than a catbox full of sh*t on 12/01/2007:
Go to the A-hole who told you you need to be more compassionate and invite him to take on this troublesome co-worker.

Posted by secondchance1974 on 12/01/2007:
LMAO... U really think so? I thot it was just me... He HAS had mngmnt experience and I haven't.. and all I could think was and I told as well was that he had come into the situation LATE in the game and didn't see or go thru what I or the other workers had.... so... But I was REALLY put off by it and it has botherd me all weekend... he and I have a generrly good relationship.. and I didn't think that was fair... PLUS he said it in front of anther co-worker of mine... so U think I was right and I'm just being too hard on myself? or does what he said have some merit? Btw... SO glad I found this site...

Posted by Bookwoman on 12/02/2007:
sounds to me like the mgr who told you to be more compassionate has that quality lacking himself, to say such a thing about a situation he has no first hand knowledge of. Stop setting yourself up to give weight to someone's words based on their position or title. He may have mgmnt "experience" but his people skills show as sorely lacking. Hang in there with the wack-a-doo co-worker; surely HIS days are numbered.

Posted by secondchance1974 on 12/02/2007:
Thank You Bookworm! I really needed to hear that..-SC

Posted by CK on 12/03/2007:
As you move up into management one must increase their peoples skills and lose some of their technical skills. Obviously that hasn't worked for this person!

Posted by the confessor on 12/03/2007:
Love the part about Dilbert dancin' at the desk... Check out "Dancin' Fools" in my Professional Confessional archives here. This is one of the reasons I love this site-you fully realize that the crap you've witnessed or been through is NOT unique and in fact may be a way of diagnosing sick workplaces and/or co-workers.

Posted by WalkingInMyOwnShoes on 12/03/2007:
A friend of mine was in a similar situation while dealing with a volunteer. She also got the more compassionate phrase rehash by so-called trained administrators. Exasperated she finally blurted out: "It's easy to feel noble if you don't have to deal with it ..." And I got the... if you would only walk a mile in her shoes...speech. Before you can take any action investigate what makes Dancing Dilbert feel secure enough to act that way. Any preferential status, family connections or other protective ties? Very careful sleuthing is recommender. Maybe you can proceed, maybe not. Giving him a good recommendation and getting him transfered may be an option. In that case enhance his reputation a bit and don't complain about him any further.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 12/05/2007:
I wonder if your co-worker is a high functioning autistic? There are certain ranges of autism that meet the symptoms of what you describe. A:) Gives out incorrect information (they do so because they BELIEVE the information is correct) B:) Dilbert Dancing - (they do not understand what type of behavior is inappropriate - inability to pick up on social cues) C:) Harrassment - (See above) If this is indeed the case, yelling at the guy or getting mad won't help but will simply make him worse as he seriously can't understand what he did wrong. You have to talk to him gently and tell him firmly and without malice why [insert bad behavior here] was inappropriate. Eventually they learn.

Posted by dontask 0 on 12/05/2007:
SP even if this is the case, who has the time, patience and training to deal with this in a work related setting? I would feel sorry for the person, but most disabled people can be trained by professionals to become productive workers. As a new worker bee I was thrown into a situation of dealing with several young disabled beginners. Some had been trained, but would hold on stubbornly to their training, no matter what the situation required. Others wanted to fulfill the high expectations their parents/caretakers had for them and could not. One summer I explaining and demonstrated the same simple task every day, every morning and again after lunch. The person still could not remember what to do how and when. I was still required to do a larger volume of work. "After all I had help"! The next summer her social worker was surprised when my supervisor turned her down after asking staff. The surprised social worker said: "...but she has DONE this work before."

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 12/05/2007:
I agree, it would be very difficult. However if he truly has this problem it is protected by the ADA.

Posted by secondchance1974 on 12/06/2007:
as far as I know... he is NOT disabled...Nor does he have Ausburgers or Autism.. tho I had thot that.... He is a college graduate and like me has held a previous job in the Mental health profession ...when questioned He just admits to being " socially inept" and just doesn't care..... Unfortunately... since Im not his manager... I do all I can to help him.. but its really not up to me...and he is Very argumentative and has let me know that he doesn't see an issue.. so... I just try not to let it affect me as best I can... and Just to be clear on how ridiculous he is... when i say dancing at his desk..I mean Standing up at his open cubicle and dancing with arms out, hips swaying.. to NO Music...!!lmao...and he sits across from me.. Lucky ME!!

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 12/06/2007:
Aspergers! That's the word I was trying to remember. Based on what you are saying, it sounds like the guy is just a bit of a nut. I worked with a guy like that before, once during a meeting with the department chair the guy suddenly opened his briefcase and pulled out a pair of handcuffs and a large army style shortwave-cd radio and began fiddling with it DURING THE MEETING. Our boss stared at him with open mouth and the department chair said "What the he**? Are you a CIA agent or something? Put that away!" A real nutjob who fortunately moved onto another company. Maybe you got him?

Posted by secondchance1974 on 12/08/2007:
LOL.. Maybe we did....u never know... thanks for all the advice guys!

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Alpha Bitch and the Thin Sheet of Ice Written by HaveADamnNiceDay on 11/19/2007Before I begin, I'd like to mention that I grew up with an emphasis on the importance of dreams, as they can tell us important things about ourselves, our lives, and others' intentions toward us. They are hardly ever literal, and the meanings behind certain images differ from person to person, and from culture to culture.
There runs in my family several images that we share, that mean roughly the same things. Among them is the snake.
The snake for me and my family is a representation of disaster, betrayal and deception at the active hands of others.
The other night I dreamed of two. They were two cobras in a jar of pickled herring (weird, I know, but it's a dream, right?). One liked to remain IN the jar, while the other liked to pop out and bite anyone who got too close and might have wanted any of that pickled herring. Well, this jar of snakes and fish ended up sitting in the middle of my kitchen stove. Well, I wanted some of that herring, sooooo, I reached for the jar, and the aggressive snake popped out, spread its hood and hissed at me. I reached again and it spat venom into my eyes. When I recoiled and covered my face with one hand, it bit me on the other hand. It had fairly small teeth, and as I saw a little bit later in the dream, very weak venom.

Alpha Bitch has a new toadie at work who follows her around like a lost dog. Toadie is much younger, so I feel that to some degree she really doesn't know any bettter. They lunch together, take smoke breaks together, and generally play around together in the office. Toadie girl really isn't that much of a threat to me, as she tends to be just fine around me and doesn't act any diffferently than if she were following around Alpha Bitch. Two snakes in a jar of fish. One wants to bite everyone, the other stays in the jar with the fish.
Alpha bitch likes to follow my boss around and whisper in her ear. Whatever it is she says, I really don't know. But, what could be so sensitive that she has to follow her around and whisper in her ear all day? My guess (and a few others') is that all she's doing is gossiping. My boss, too nice of a person to tell her to take her gossip and piss off, just nods and listens and goes about her work.
Lately, also the Alpha Bitch has been watching me closely again, looking for an opening to jab in sometthing sharp, but she's been ultra nice to me, too. Venom in the eyes. Attempt at deception.

I know that because I AM well-liked, do my work and only leave my desk to do other tasks, take potty breaks and lunch, she can't take it. I'm sure she's walked around and told lies to whoever will listen about me and whoever else is on her hit list. More than once, people have come to MY desk and murmured to me, "Gee, I sure wish Alpha Bitch would just go back to her desk and actually work instead of standing around gossiping all day." I'm really tempted to mention it to my boss and her bosses.
However, I've made a promise to myself not to interfere. This one is good enough to hang herself. I don't need to do anything ^_^.
In fact, today my boss got out her matches and lit a fire under Alpha Bitch's butt. Alpha Bitch doesn't like being told she has shortcomings. So far, she is often late to work, doesn't do her work until the last minute and is always behind updating our fees. To boot, she takes too many smoke breaks and takes longer than she's supposed to. Our boss basically told her to get it in gear, because she was way behind.

Yup.... all she boils down to is a snake with a weak bite, weak venom and no lasting effects. I hope they fire her soon.
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Uh, Thanks? Written by A little scared. on 11/19/2007I have a couple of coworkers who I have a love/hate relationship with. They are the office bullies, but I never fall into their traps nor play into what they do. So they pretty much leave me alone. I've learned to not show my fear and it seems to work well.

Last week, we had a small issue with a few people in our specialized team, so I sent an email to everyone in our group and asked them a quick question.

Well the bully, without opening the email, right away took it personally as an attack against him. He threw a fit and went to our supervisor (who had a copy of the email as he was CC'd in on it). He shouted across the office about something or other in regards to just the subject of the email. Whatever, I ignored him and kept on working and let him dig his own hole.

Today, I'm sitting at my desk and he comes over with a donut and hands it to me. I then ask him what it's for and he said, "Well I heard you were craving these the other day. Since we were at the store, I thought I'd pick one up for you." So I thank him and he goes back to his desk.

Now it is true that I was talking with a co-worker in about this donut. But I'm a little freaked. Last week he was going off on me, this week he comes over with a donut and refused to take money for it.

I'm a little scared... Would you eat it?

(The hot and cold from this coworker to me has been going on for close to 3 years now too.)
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Posted by sick of it on 11/19/2007:
I would NOT eat it. But I would do it discreetly. Throw it out in a garbage can the pyscho can't find it in and if they ask tell them it was delicious.

Posted by dontask 0 on 11/19/2007:
When I encountered the first sneaky bully I was still trusting that food served would be alright, until I got a funny tasting donut. I took one bite and I have never accepted food at work again. There is pressure to bring and eat homemade food, sometimes I can smell the poppy seeds or the essence. I dodge and weave all I can. I tell them that I will save their delicious goodies for dessert, that I can't eat sugary snacks...can't eat sweet stuff on an empty stomach.. whatever. I once took a donut home and before I could pitch it my spouse ate it and did not feel well. Could have been an allergic reaction - or not? This is my take on it. Any more suggestions?

Posted by A little scared. on 11/19/2007:
I'm wondering if I should "bring it home" and then mention that my son ate it and isn't feeling well....

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 11/19/2007:
I agree with dontask. Get rid of it and don't let them think you didn't eat it. Stay on your guard and trust no one!

Posted by dumber than a catbox full of sh*t on 11/19/2007:
I would bring in some donuts for him and insist that he eat them then and there in front of you--don't let him weasel out of it. His reaction and ability and effor to weasel out of it will tell you if the donut he gave you was "poison" or not. When I first read this--it did not occur to me that the donut could have been tampered with (it was when I read the comments that this idea came into play for me). When I read the post it seemed like what was going on is that the person was trying to apologize without coming out and saying it. Then I was thinking that the Poster said that this person has acted hot and cold like this for 3 years. I hate people who act like this. I would just treat them totally coldly until they completely let me alone permanently. If you do actually like the person, though, maybe you could talk to them about their unstable/hot to cold behavior.

Posted by the confessor on 11/21/2007:
If he asks how the donut was, reply "you want to know if I ate the donut...". Keep repeating his statements until he leaves or gets the hint.

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Hr Woman Is Really Lame Written by tj on 11/15/2007The HR Woman at my company is so lame. She is part time and comes to work with this holier than thou attitude and I'd love to smack her right in the face. She's a menopausal overweight too tall banshee woman and I'd like to see her fall off her chair and bark like a dog. She thinks she's an expert on everything, but in reality she's a clueless little twit. I will see her fall. Like an old statue. She thinks she's all that but she's actually none o this. I'll devise an evil plot to oust her. WAHAHAHAHA if she had a brain bigger than a pea she'd realize what a total idiot she is. She's a has-been who will get a big surprise when I see her demise. Dog woman! Read 3 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by dumber than a catbox full of sh*t on 11/15/2007:
tj--my you have a way with words! I love it! So I'm glad that you seem that you are just venting...I hope.

Posted by kitkat on 11/16/2007:
Serve up the Dog Chow ...

Posted by the confessor on 01/01/2008:
I love the way you vent!!

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I Hate You Gabe Written by ... on 11/15/2007I worked at an insurance place, selling insurance allll day long. I had an office all to myself and it was the dirtiest office of them all. well...there is this person named Gabe. (eh I want to shoot her whenever I hear that name.) she was the 'second best worker' in the building and I was fourth best worker, who cares. but she was such a brat! she would come into my office everyday and say "you need to clean this place up! or I'm telling boss!" or "tell me why I'm in second best worker and ur in fourth? oh that's right, I'm #1 and u suck azz". she would always where those revealing shirts showing stuff. one time there was a chance where I could prove I could be 1st best worker, and Gabe got the chance too...I had a GREAT idea and that little devil stole it right out of my office drawers when I left to go to the restroom. I said she stole it from me when she got the 1st place best worker award thing, but my boss never believes me, Gabe always convinces him that shes right and I'm wrong. but a bitch. but o well.Read 1 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by anonymous on 11/16/2007:
In the future leave only faulty plans in your drawer.

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Hitting at work! Written by newtothegame on 11/13/2007I am not sure if I am over reacting but why do people at (WORK only )always back hand or slap me? Mostly in my arms or legs, I swear that I want to turn to them and punched them as hard as I can in the shoulder area and give them a charie horse. They mostly do it when I am least expecting it and I get startled and my face turns red, I don't know I have been trying to ignore it but I have been taught to keep my hands to myself and am to embarrassed to ask them not to slap me, I am afraid on day I might blast the person back.

I almost did one day when I was getting drilled by my bosses and a coworker came up from behind and slapped me on my back so hard you could hear that hollow sound and said, "What's the matter you under pressure" and laughed and walked away, I was pissed, do guys hit each other at work?

I am a chick and I am not sure if these are friendly gestures or what? I don't know ....... It's weird!
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Posted by Wage Slave on 11/14/2007:
Preprare yourself for the next time it happens. Wear pants. Wait for some unsuspecting fool to hit you and fall down like you fainted. Do not laugh no matter what. If you have to, think of road kill to stop yourself from giggling. I'll bet it would be the last time anyone touches you. Good luck.

Posted by CK on 11/14/2007:
I am not sure how to handle this one. I am attempted to say that the next time this happens to have a nice little talk with the 'offender.' I am not saying to go all Rambo with him/her but to be calm about the whole thing and nicely explain that you don't really like this mannor. Give the other person time to explain his/her actions. Maybe they didn't realize you feeling on this or it may be the office culture and they just want you to fit in not realizing how you feel. Put this in a nice way - it may just be the office culture like I said. I you don't put it in a nice way at first it may back fire and make you look hostile. But if it continues (make sure everyone who does this understand first) then you esculate it. As an example, I know this one woman who is from N.Y. When we were working together she would punch me in the arm and say "HEY" and then start her story. I took it as something that she learned in NY and probabaly after a while she stopped punching my arm (probably from the suprised look on my face every time she did this). I didn't have to say anything but like I said - I thought it was a culture thing and took it in stride. We are the best of friends for quite some time now and even though we no longer work together but we still talk, e-mail amd sometime meet for lunch. (Don't get me wrong - I am not attracted to her. I deeply apriciate her honesty and respect her professionally.)

Posted by twiz on 11/14/2007:
This can be considered a form of sexual harassment. A friend of mine had a manager that would always put his hand on her shoulder when they were working etc. She was uncomfortable about it and told him directly. He continued to do it, and she mentioned it to HR. He stopped after that. If it makes you uncomfortable, say something. If they continue, mention it to HR.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 11/14/2007:
IMO - You are being sexually harrassed. Yes, guys do slap and punch each other because we are brain damaged. But most guys will not punch a female in the arm unless they are VERY close to that person and they have an established friendship. Punching a female on the leg is outrageous, that is almost like swatting you on the rear which is harrasement. Don't go to HR...yet, the next time it happens just turn around and said "That's IT! No more! I have said I don't like that and next time I will walk straight to HR and file a complaint! NO MORE!!" That will get your point across and also show that you can handle things yourself, if this doesn't work...go to HR.

Posted by dontask 0 :( on 11/14/2007:
No punching no slapping ever! No man or woman should get away with this. They can't hit their spouses either unless they want to spend time in jail. You can file for assault, talk to your local police information # first and inquire. According to an old state law in my home state one could not threaten legal actions or any action. I hope this is not how it works in yours. Do something ASAP because the attacks will escalate. My tormentors started with a playful slap on the wrist. I was surprised at the painful stinging sensation. It ended with "accidental" body slams against my left side to re-injure back injuries and to keep them from healing. A visit to a lawyer was a waste of time and money, but I heard they have come a long way in a few years and are more astute. Chin up girl, you'll need it.

Posted by CK on 11/14/2007:
Before I would go to HR I would tell the person(s) "NO" on the hitting. HR amy ask you if you told the person(s) involved in the hitting to stop. Not to be insensitive here (so please don't take it that way - I will only be trying to stress a point). If a woman were about to have sex and didn't want say "NO" to the guy it could be interpreted as acceptance. If in court the judge would ask the woman if se said "NO" and she didn't then the case of rape may be dismissed. I know what I am saying is extreme as an example but I am just trying to make a point here. If you are offended by their action then say "NO" - and if it doesn't stop THEN you go to HR. You have the right to say "NO."

Posted by dumber than a catbox full of sh*t on 11/14/2007:
I would say loudly "ouch."

Posted by newtothegame on 11/15/2007:
It's not men slapping or hitting me its other women,I've told my boss to ask one person in particular to stop who always does it and I believed she talked to her about it and she stopped for awhile then recently she started up again my Boss has seen her doit too and not said anything ,she actually slapped me on my back today and it stung then she said "hey give me five"and I turned around and gave her a five like a dumbsh*T,I am not a wussy girl but have this whole thing of personal space I don't like invaded .We get along other than this it's just when she slaps me I get irritated and embarrassed,but shes not the only one other people have done it to me too,but she does it like everyday,and only to me I haven't seen her doit to anyone else????PUZZLED!!! Thanks for listening guys!!!!

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 11/15/2007:
> It's not men slapping or hitting me its other women > When you asked "Do guys hit each other at work" that seemed to suggest the hitters were men. Based on what you are now saying, it seems as if you have someone who has a need to be accepted by the new person. In other words, this sounds sort of territorial. If you can stand it, try 'playing along' for a while and they will probably calm down with the high fives and all will be good.

Posted by Bookwoman on 11/15/2007:
Hit back. Harder. Apparently it's OK with your boss. Just smack her down and walk away.

Posted by dumber than a catbox full of sh*t on 11/15/2007:
After saying, "ouch" I would say, "What the f*ck is your problem? God da*nit, that hurts!" I have had to do this before. It worked. Use a really crabby tone of voice with it.

Posted by felisdraconius on 11/15/2007:
it sounds to me that maybe its meant to be more of a friendly thing, so I would politely explain to them not to do it anymore, then move to more drastic measures it it continues

Posted by dontask 0 on 11/16/2007:
Newto These are all very good suggestions to choose from. If none of the reasonable suggestions work and your boss ignores the situation you will have to reevaluate. It also works to keep the hitters in mind at all times. Don't make yourself a target more than you have to. This means no free standing with your back turned. Have a wall, merchandise, packings, machine, cart or furniture behind you and in front of you. Always position yourself that your tormentors cannot physically reach you.

Posted by Anonymous on 11/16/2007:
You should keep a written record of the who, what, where, when, and how information. Any conversation with your boss or even the people who are doing this issue should be noted and documented including the date. Keep your records in order. If you dont like your personal space invaded dont high five her back. If she hits you so hard you end up with red marks or bruises take photographs of them for your log. If you end up going to the HR department or to court over this at least you will have done your diligence to stop it and to document it. Under no circumstances should you give them your original copies of anything, and if they ask for copies document that too.

Posted by tiredofitall on 11/23/2007:
Um, hello. Nobody can hit or slap you at work. Go directly to your boss one more time and tell him so. The next time, leave the office and head right to your HR department. I can't imagine it's ok for such behavior to take place. I'm sorry but if this is a small company you may want to consider finding another job.

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Mobbing Written by ResearchScientist on 11/12/2007I know that mobs pick a target based on the whom they fear the most, I have been the target of a mob for quite sometime. I usually am quite amused with their behavior and this has been I think fuel to their flames of insecurities. However, on my hour commute to work today, I really started to think about how much more of the abuse I can take. I almost turned my vehicle around to go home, because honestly, my sh!t meter is pegged to the limit. What made me keep going? I don't really know. I could walk away from my life right now, literally. If I did not hate the cold weather, I would most certainly, just leave everything behind. I would find a nice warm beach somewheres and build a hut and eat coconuts and fish for food.

I see homeless people everyday, if they can do it, so can I! Maybe this is it, maybe I have crossed the line of no return? Do you know what? I don't even care about leaving my dogs to fend for themselves. Someone will take them in and give them a home. I love them but how happy can they be with an owner who is miserable and wishes they could just disappear into thin air? I think they would be better off with someone who has children who could love them and play with them. I have to work all the time! I don't care about anything! Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose! Love that song hate my life! Best wishes to all!

If you see a woman hitchhiking to somewheres warm give her a lift, it might be me!!
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Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 11/12/2007:
We have all been there, I don't think a week goes by where I don't think of chucking all of this and going to work in a nice quiet library surrounded by nice quiet books. If you chuck it all, it means 'they' have won. I thought you were tougher than that? Take some time off and just relax, take some 'me' time.

Posted by twiz on 11/12/2007:
Don't let the mob win. Make you own happiness at work! If you are miserable, see if you can make changes. Maybe switch to another group, or something new all-together.

Posted by ResearchScientist on 11/12/2007:
I know that is what they want (for me to leave), and there is a part of me that says, "Never!" Then there is the pseudo hippie in me that says, "whatever, Chill dude." I am so conflicted, I hate competetition and I feel that I have to constantly compete to keep my job. I also feel that I am constantly defending my results, because I have developed the methods. People are always trying to knock you down. I just want to do my job and do it well. I am tired of having to defend every little thing I do and how I do it. There are some aspects to these experiments that I have no control over! If a person did not get the expected results, they question me! Argghh! Thank you for the great comments! Although, I still may catch a train to nowheres and do that hippie thing and live a VW van and sell t-shirts at a Grateful dead concert. Oops! I guess I missed my opportunity to do that! I guess I will have to pick another band! But I am not giving up on the VW! Peace out Dudes! What Band should I follow in my VW?

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 11/12/2007:
I think HaveANiceDamnDay has a band.. It's called HaveANiceDamnDay and the Damnits.....

Posted by ResearchScientist on 11/12/2007:
I could be their roady!

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 11/12/2007:
My grandmother had two cats (for real!) named Dammit and ToHell. Every night she'd call them from the back stoop of her house.... "Dammit ToHell!"

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 11/12/2007:
I read an Readers Digest entry a long time ago from a woman who had a cat named MISTER. One day she stood on the front porch in her bath robe and said "Misterrrrr want to come in?" and a man jogging by said "No thanks lady!"

Posted by Bookwoman on 11/12/2007:
Half of me is right there with you but all of me loves all my dog. I would never, ever leave my dog. I would love to take my dog to work. He could be my therapy dog. Notice I say "my." He would be my therapy dog because he's a German Shepherd and only loves me. He adores me and he doesn't care for anyone else (he tolerates the family, some of them). There would BE no one else if I ever took my dog to work. Then I would be able to get my work done in peace and quiet. I love my dog. When he gazes at me adoringly (as all good dogs do with good masters and mistresses), I know that I am the end-all and be-all for someone. Sort of. Today I actually had some fun at work. One of my co-workers decided our office would have a bake-off, with each of the 4 of us (the supervisor said she'd participate but that's an old song and we knew she wouldn't) preparing some baked good from the Kraft Family Food magazine (free at My co-worker called 3 people in other areas to tell them they were judges and gave them all judge names, printed out forms for them to use to rate the goodies, set it all up (on my desk, the only clean one), and everyone ate delicious treats for 15 minutes and chatted. It was fun. For a change. Chocolate is always good. These days even a VW van would suck that gas. But if you go - have fun!! (Take a laptop. We would all like to live vicariously with you!)

Posted by dumber than a catbox full of sh*t on 11/12/2007:
Research--I have been where you have been. Luckily my Boss retired last June and things are somewhat better. But I am still working on my plan to ditch it all--my plan should come to fruition about March or so--at that time I will have spent a little over 3 years preparing for my exit. When the Chicago weather gets bad, or traffic (have an hour 20 mins. one-way commute to work on a good weather day), or the Administration is a bunch of colossal a-holes, the students are so disrespectful and their parents come to see me drunk, stoned or with the wool pulled over their eyes by their lazy, entitlement, selfish, a-hole kids, I think about my plan:) THE PLAN has helped me get through. And when I quit--I'm not giving notice. Make YOUR PLAN!

Posted by CK on 11/12/2007:
Bullies and now mobbing has graduated from the schoolyard to the corporate world. Other than that - nothing much had changed. I know how you feel because I think many others on this board have or currently living what you are going though - myself included. Like I have said before, Europe has progressed furhter than the US and have laws in place to prevent such acts. I read that in England it could cost a company about $1.6 million in fines! I had also read that there are a few states that are just now starting to pass laws reguarding bullies. But in todays environment (and trying NOT to sound political here) Republicans had a historical past that has sided with the Corporate World and against the workers. Until it swings around to the other side you may want to hold tight. I know I've been looking for another job as I would think many others are as well. But there seems to be fewer and fewer every day. Our 'Employment' pages on Sundays has been getting thinner and thinner as do the pickings on the Internet so I don't feel that it is my imagination.

Posted by Wage Slave on 11/12/2007:
I noticed bullies usually attack the people with the most snap. It has happened to me and I noticed it when they went after other intelligent people in my office. When the hooligans make fun of anyone, I make it a point to stare coldly and make sure they know I don't think this is fun. For some reason they don't pick on me anymore. If at all possible, please take a mental health day off. These kinds of people are draining.

Posted by CK on 11/13/2007:
But don't you just love it when the psychopaths at work do things behind your back or in the appearance of 'doing their job' stab you in the back? As an example they overload you with the crap work that no one wants but if you complain too loudly it makes you look like you're not a team player? That is one way that I go hurt at work! Too much crap-work that involved heavy lifting in a repeatable pattern that hurt my shoulder. So I filed WC!!! Now I am on light-duty until further notice. They transfered me to HelpDesk to answer phones. I know it's a lower level job for me but it is one way that they could be sure that I wouldn't lift anything! So there are a few (mobbers) that may think that this is a 'put-down' job but I look at it as a new adventure to learn more about other departments and that I can learn HD and the inter-workings. In turn I can pass on my expertise to the HD people who will end up helping me! I know all the people there anyway and they are good people (unlike the psychopaths I work for!).

Posted by ResearchScientist on 11/13/2007:
Thank you for all of your great comments! HAND and SP you guys are so funny, I can not wait to read this page in the morning! It is the only thing that keeps me from running screaming from the building on some days. Bookwoman, I love my dogs so much it scares me when I think of one of them passing away someday. I will take them with me, they could be my cheap security system. A German Shepard was my first dog I ever owned and the best dog I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. You are right, they are one owner dogs! CK, Europe had to pass laws because mobbing was the number one cause of suicides in adults. It is almost murder if you look at it a certain way! I actually know someone who lost their son because of suicide and work place mobbing. Corporate lawyers tried to cover it up, but people are now talking because that group of people have targeted another victim. Scary! Dumber than a catbox full of Sh!t, I do not know how you do what you do! I am amazed at every person who is an educator. Entitlement is ruining the next generation, hell it ruins everyone. I will keep my plan and build upon it. Fantasize about it and maybe one day I will live in "a van down by the river" I think I might need a break from work. I have a "friend" in a distant city who wants me to spend a long weekend with him, so maybe I will ditch work and have some good old fashion carnal fun!

Posted by Interesting on 11/13/2007:
I'm there too... but in a little different sense. I'm working only until my son graduates High School (8 years to go...) after that, I'm selling all my possessions quitting my job and spending my life traveling.

Posted by Bookwoman on 11/13/2007:
I went back and re-read your original post. I don't think I've ever been a target of a mob, just lone, crazed supervisors. I'm trying to put myself in your shoes, and it feels really rough. If I was younger I think I would really struggle in your situation. At the age I am now (old and tired), I just don't have the energy to invest in office crap. I feel confident of my abilities to do my work, but don't love it. Whatever my work has ever been, it has never done more than bring in the money and benefits needed to help support my family, which, while they drive me crazy, does mean everything to me. I've never had a job that meant anything to me outside of what it provided in my real life. Well, other than when I was in the Navy, but that's another, old, story. I don't like competition either, in a big way. I don't think I like being questioned a whole lot either, but I don't think my experiences are like to yours. I guess if I was questioned alot about my methods, or the results of my methods, to the point where I couldn't stand it, I'd try to figure out how to respond to that so it would stop - or at least slow down. When people question me I question back. "What did you expect?" "What do you suggest?" "What would you do differently?" "Would you like to try yourself?" If you can't stop the unwanted attention, whatever it is, then deflect it or re-direct it, or throw it back. Don't ignore it though, it's guaranteed to never go away. I'm all for the van down by the river, too, if all else fails.

Posted by dumber than a catbox full of sh*t on 11/13/2007:
I don't even need the van. Or the river. Actually I always thought that if I lived in a beautiful area with temperate climate (say Hawaii) that a little lean-to would work for me.

Posted by ResearchScientist on 11/14/2007:
Yes it is a group of people, however the problem trickles down from the top. The boss, and yes this is his management style, likes to create an environment of competition. I have seen him pit graduate student against graduate student on purpose. Another problem of his is that he needs a lab scapegoat. Someone he can point the finger to and say so and so did this. I am said person. It has been my title since the other scapegoat left. He likes to put down his employees behind their backs to other employees or graduate students. They lose respect for you and assume that they can mistreat you as well because the boss has nothing nice to say about you. How do I know he talks this way about me and others, because I was once the person he would talk to about the former lab scapegoat. I would politely ignore his comments about so and so, but he would put you in a position that made me feel uncomfortable. I was always told, if you have nothing nice to say about someone then you should say nothing at all. He is a very powerful man and well respected in his field of research. He could make or break my career. I understand that this is his policy and how he runs things, so I have come accept my role. There is also a post doc, former student, that is a little envious of my position. Why I do not know, she has a Ph.D so she should not feel any insecurities from me. When she is around no one is supposed to talk to me because she hates me. The funny thing is I get along with everyone else, from the janitors, other technicians in other labs, to administrative assistants. Most of the graduate students and postdocs mistreat other employees and are rude to support staff. This is a problem that comes from the very top of the food chain here. The professors have no respect for the support staff and treat them like non humans. Although occasionally you will get a prof. with a great personality who is kind to everyone, but they are rare and never seem to make tenure.

Posted by the confessor on 11/14/2007:
Here are some great insights on mobbing from In a mobbing situation, the ringleader incites supporters, cohorts, copycats and unenlightened, inexperienced, immature or emotionally needy individuals with poor values to engage in adversarial interaction with the selected target. The ringleader, or chief bully, gains gratification from encouraging others to engage in adversarial interaction with the target. Many people use the word "mobbing" to describe this pack attack by many on one individual. Once mobbing is underway the chief bully foments the mobbing into mutually assured destruction, from which the chief bully gains intense gratification - this is a feature of people with psychopathic personality. One aspect of psychopathic bullies is that they home in on Wannabe types - non-psychopathic lesser bullies - and then empower these individuals to gain the positions of power and authority they crave. Once installed, the Wannabe's lack of competence makes them dependent on the chief psychopath, which means they become unwitting but willing compliant puppets. They also make perfect corporate clones and drones. A characteristic of the Wannabe is that as well as lacking all the competencies necessary for their position, they also lack the intellect to understand the nature and manner of their compliant subservience. Throughout the mobbing experience, the target is deceived into fighting, blaming and trying to hold accountable the minor bullies of the mobbing group rather than the chief bully. The main reason a psychopathic chief bully gets away with his (or her) behaviour repeatedly is that no-one wants to believe that s/he could be the monster s/he is. This is also the reason that many pedophiles and wife-batterers evade accountability and sanction for years, often decades. They appear so charming and plausible to naive, unenlightened and inexperienced people - usually those who haven't experienced bullying themselves. Psychopathic chief bullies are very likely to have everyone in human resources and management in their pocket, who are then manipulated into further mobbing, victimising and persecuting the target. The golden rule when tackling a mobbing situation is, I believe, to identify and focus exclusively on the chief bully, and concentrate on holding this ringleader accountable. Expect an immediate increase in mobbing activities, and a rapidly-expanding web of deceit to be concocted against you. Alternatively, the best solution may be to make a positive decision to leave and refuse to allow these people to continue to ruin your career, your health and your life. In the unlikely event that the psychopathic chief leader is exposed and then leaves, the dysfunction, aggression and negative feelings fostered by him or her are likely to linger for years.

Posted by ResearchScientist on 11/14/2007:
So, I have been thinking about this for sometime and going between one extreme for the other. I am applying to the Scripps Institute for a PhD program. I don't have lot of time considering the application deadline is Jan 1 2008. However, nothing is changing in my life. I have been waiting for Mr.Right to come along and I am tired of waiting, so I have decided that I need something I can call my own, something to live for. I may be making the biggest mistake of my life but I think I need some regrets anyways. I will keep you all posted. Thank you everyone for your all of your kind words. California here I come, hopefully!

Posted by anonymous on 11/14/2007:
You might find Mr Right right there too, or at least the right sperm donor. It will be fun to watch your tormentors faces once they find out their punching bag is moving on. For them it's an act of desertion and having to do the work they should have been doing all along. Stressing again! Plan your escape quietly, don't change a thing until you have a new place to go to. You never know how low a bully will stoop to keep you boxed in.

Posted by ResearchScientist on 11/15/2007:
Ha ha Sperm donor!! I love it. But you are right on!

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 11/15/2007:
Scientist-- Just wanted to let you know about Mr.Right: He's probably looking for you on There is hope for EVERYONE, trust me! If my dad can find true love there, anyone can! My new step mom is Wonder Woman. I think Superman is waiting to be found. ^_^

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"I am not a girl" Written by Stressed on 11/09/2007The bathroom door was closed.
Most of the office was gone.
Only 3 doors are open. One is mine, one belongs to a male, one belongs to a coworker.

I knock.
I hear movement.
I return to my office to wait for the bathroom to be free.

The occupant exits, and asks who knocked.
I say, "I did. I thought Jane-Doe and I were the only girls here, and Jane-Doe was at her desk, but I wanted to be sure I wasn't walking in on someone."

Occupant says, "Oh, that makes sense."

Jane-Doe starts screaming, "I am NOT a girl! I am a woman! Do not call me a girl! I am NOT a girl! I am a WOMAN!"

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Posted by twiz on 11/09/2007:
Yikes. Sounds like your co-worker has some issues...

Posted by CK on 11/09/2007:
But she was right in her statement. As to the attitude - over look it for now. But if she is an adult (21 or over) then she is a woman. I consider a young woman being 16 to 21. I do the same with men as well. But you have to be very careful when you use the term 'boy' around some ethnic groups because they may consider it insulting - even if they are under the age of 16!

Posted by Experienced on 11/09/2007:
CK, If I was her supervisor, if I was not a female myself, if I had simply referred to HER as a girl - I might have understood her objection. However, the phrasing I used included myself. "I thought Jane and I were the only girls here." In that useage, it was CLEAR that I meant "females". And, had she really been offended by that, a simple, "I prefer to be called a woman," would certainly have been more professional and mature than the screaming fit she threw. As it was, she convinced me that "girl" fit her because in its most negative sense it represents immaturity, and her fit was immature.

Posted by CK on 11/09/2007:
I don't disagree but it is also 1) a business setting, 2) the term girl could of used in a 'personal' format such as friends, 3) also the 'timing' may have been 'off' - not to make any excuss for the woman. That is why I suggest being cool about it and to overlooking the situation at this time.

Posted by Interesting on 11/09/2007:
I'm a "girl" and don't take offense to: girl, woman, female when reffering to gender. The term, "Lady" however sometimes offends me depending on how it is used. I'm cool with "Ladies room." But hate, "Hey Lady" or "ask that lady".

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 11/09/2007:
Sounds like a reasonable statement (I am a woman..not a girl) but the fact that it was delivered in almost hysterical terms just totally ruins the message. I learned a long time ago to call any female over the age of 16 a woman just to play it safe. I also learned not to pat short women on the head like a dog if you value your life, I did this to a cousin of mine a long time ago and still have the bruise on my knee to show for it...

Posted by WalkingInMyOwnShoes on 11/09/2007:
I once had an ethnic supervisor who objected to boy or girl terms. We were using the term to talk to kindergarten to grade school kids. She immediately started foaming at the mouth, screaming prejudice, wrote people up. We had to go attend a course. The instructor did her best to find raving bias. It did not exist. At least three people in that group grew up in other countries and learned the King's English there. They had no idea what they had done wrong. Finally used terms like young lady or young gentleman. Rather silly. Most of the time we did our best not to talk where she could hear us. Walking on eggshells but in my own shoes to this day.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 11/09/2007:
If one looks hard enough, one can find biasness or racism anywhere....

Posted by TexasSky on 11/09/2007:
Actually, CK, Given that I was speaking to a friend (AK), when I used the statement, "I thought that Jane and I were the only girls still here," that it was way past closing time, and that it was not said to Jane as in "Hey girl." I really disagree with you. Then again, I think political correctness has gotten so far out of hand that it hinders business more than it helps business. Of course, the fact that Jane has been known to call other women "Granny Yokum" and "Aunt Jemima," in the office, when she thinks only her friends are listening, does go a long way to making me feel less like she actually felt as if I was putting her down than that she just delights in making trouble.

Posted by avid reader on 11/10/2007:
Wait---do you guys know each other (CK and TexasSky)?? Personally, I like being called a girl---it means I'm viewed as young. But lately people have referred to me as "ma'am" and "lady" and it's given me pause! Wait a minute! When did I go from being thought of as a "girl" to being thought of as a "lady". Uh---oh...I guess it's all part of the cycle of life! =(

Posted by avid reader on 11/10/2007:
Nevermind---I see Stressed and TexasSky are the same person. Got it now.

Posted by dumber than a catbox full of sh*t on 11/11/2007:
You can call me any word for a female as long as it isn't "broad" or "dame".

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 11/13/2007:
"you and me, we have an opportunity and we can make it something really cool but you--you think I'm not that kind of girl I'm here to tell you baby I'm gonna rock your world Don't think that I'm not strong I'm the one to take your arm don't underestimate me boy I'll make you sorry you were born you don't know me the way you really should you sure misunderstood Don't call me BABY You got to learn that baby that'll never do you know I don't belong to you It's time you knew I'm not your baby I belong to me So don't call me BABY!" I had a guy call me that on the phone. That riles me up. I've never had a problem being called sweetie, love, poop-head (boss sometimes uses that one ^_^), ma'am, miss, girl, even lady. But NOBODY (not even my spouse) calls me baby! I absolutely find it repulsive! To me it nearly denotes ownership (because of how it's been used, and I've never seen it as a true term of endearment). Therefore, I told that man on the phone (who was a pal of one of the principal architects where I worked ) to not call me that. Yuck!

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 11/13/2007:
*ahem* Song above by Madison Avenue.

Posted by Ze Squirrell on 12/07/2007:
Personally, I hate pet names from strangers. Being called Honey, or Sweetie or Dear by someone the same age that you just met makes me grit my teeth and it makes them sound like a truckstop waitress. Must be a regional thing, because it happens all the freakin' time here in CNY.

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Alpha Bitch And The Parallel Universe Written by HaveADamnNiceDay on 11/07/2007An update on my primary nemesis at work:

Now, first I'll mention that for about two weeks recently, I suffered some serious prolonged insomnia. When it's stretched out like that, I become very hard to be around. Even cheerful little me has limits, and I was reaching mine. I was sullen, quiet, grumpy, impatient, and even sometimes a little rude to people... Like I had been replaced with some kind of polar doppleganger from a parallel universe ^_^.

I guess Alpha Bitch noticed this and it really made her day, because every day she was animated, talkative, and she shamelessly kissed the owner and president's asses. She'd laugh and cackle and make small talk with people and generally act like she was having a good time.

I've finally managed to address my insomnia in a holistic way, and my sleep has improved greatly, as has my general attitude. I perked up, was friendly and approachable, started to joke and poke at co-workers and generally just be myself again.

It's like someone flipped a switch on Miss Alpha Bitch. She's been sullen, nasty, grumpy and uncooperative with people. Just the other day she came walking into the admin office (where we both work) and was saying, "Idiot, idiot, IDIOT! She's an idiot!!!!" I usually put my nose to my papers and keyboard when I hear/see drama going down, but this time I worked up some nerve and asked (as innocently as possible)"Who?"

She started going off about how she thought our legal collector was stupid and bragged she called her an idiot to her face. I just shook my head and went back to my work. I'm patient. If I want to know something, all I have to do is keep my ears and eyes open. Besides... I walk with the legal collector nearly every day at lunch. I knew I'd find out sooner or later.

Well, today I found out. So Legal Collector and go walking and she starts telling me what went down. Turns out that Alpha Bitch isn't satisfied with stepping on the company president's toes, she has to act like a freak-tard in front of the company owner too. Turns out this little incident took place RIGHT IN THE OWNER'S OFFICE while Legal Collector was in there. She had asked Alpha Bitch to do an administrative letter which IS her job, because my boss told Legal it was, and told Legal to give her the assignment. Alpha Bitch flatly refused, went on a tirade and called Legal Collector an idiot in front of the Owner.

When Alpha Bitch walked into admin to brag about it, she walked out again and apparently went to the Owner's office not to apologize, but complain about Legal person. She came back, bragged about that and promptly went on a smoke break.

When Legal and I were talking about the incident, I mentioned that Bitch had gone back to the owner to complain. Legal was surprised, because she never heard a peep from the owner about it. Our guess is Owner set the Alpha Bitch straight and told her her complaints were pointless and unfounded. Our reason to believe this is that we know the owner is not unreasonable, and favors my Legal friend a lot, and with good reason.

When Alpha Bitch is in trouble or scared, she swaggers harder and brags louder and talks way more. What's even funnier is that she's inadvertently admitted to having a napoleon complex, and indirectly said she compensates for her lack of stature (she's quite short and petite and small) with big talk and threatening behavior. I wonder if she realizes she's said all that.

I've concluded this creature cannot be happy unless she sees that someone is miserable. When she herself is miserable, she wants company and attention, so she badmouths people behind their backs and belittles ME and my work performance when it's clear she needs to worry (and I do mean worry) about her own. She is THE most insecure person I've ever met....and the stupidest. She has a few mouths to feed. She really can't afford to keep digging the hole deeper.

Have any of you guys had to suffer through such an experience with such a creature? (should I even ask?)
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Posted by CK on 11/07/2007:
I know one of those types ... Best of luck! But as far as I am concerned she is insubordanate and could be fired (if the big boss had a pair)! But in the mean time I just got another book from the library. I accidently came across it from an artiicle on the internet. The name of the book is "Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work." It got high marks by other readers ...

Posted by anonymous on 11/07/2007:
You seriously have to get some ZZZZZZZ's. Not enough sleep makes me touchy. Other then that I would sit back and enjoy the show.

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 11/08/2007:
Well, I have been getting better sleep, and have consequently been myself as a result. I feel better and I have more fun with people now. Alpha Bitch can't stand that. When I'm happy, she's miserable. When I'm miserable, she's happy. I HAVE been enjoying the show, too! Just this morning I heard my boss grumbling about how she doesn't show up on time to work, doesn't do her job and takes too many smoke breaks. People have started openly ribbing her about doing her job (not in a nice way either). She isn't fooling anyone, and I've been watching her job crumble around her. My boss has been picking up her slack because she can't stand to work a whole 8 hours. She's starting to look real bad to everyone. She comes in late and leaves early alot. It's just a matter of time.

Posted by CK on 11/08/2007:
Well if she is unhappy when you are happy - I'd make sure I would come in happy all the time. And if you're not - fake it!

Posted by dumber than a catbox full of sh*t on 11/08/2007:
Yeah--I would fake happiness even if I was miserable to get her goat. Additionally, I would start mentioning little wonderful things that happened to me (be them true or not)--like, I won $1500 on the lotto or my husband got a new job or my boyfriend bought me a new coat or my parents were treating me to a trip to Hawaii:)

Posted by ResearchScientist on 11/09/2007:
I agree, FAKE IT! I would win an academy award for my acting skills if I knew that my happiness crushed this weirdo. Just make like everything is all about you! That really pisses those types off! I pretend I am the staring role of a movie; and everything, right down the my cute little gestures and smirks, are all about me. The world is here for me!!!! I also pretend that everyone loves me. Just like the show,"Everyone Loves Raymond" except it is funny. When I do this my nemesis gets all of her b!tchy club together and they chinwag for hours about me. I love this! I am finally hated, and everyone knows the fine line between love and hate! I am powerful! I have control over these women by their own doing! Of course I am joking!! I sometimes just like to write nonsense! But I really do agree that you should fake happiness even if you are not feeling it. Studies show that even faking it can have benefits for your health!

Posted by Experienced on 11/09/2007:
I work with someone like that right now. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Posted by DESPERATE! on 12/10/2007:

Posted by beenthere2 on 12/27/2007:
I work with a miserable person like that. This unproductive harvester of audio misery is causing the rest of us to loose clients. She thinks nobody would suspect an older lady of cursing out loud, having personal call fights and slamming around things intermittently throughout the day, but I intend to record, hit play and dispel the myth she uses to hide her true nastiness in. The bottom line cannot take any more hits from her antics. She is unwilling to work unless she thinks someone important is nearby and yet she rips these same people down behind each others backs. She practically has HR on speed dial daily for CYA. This is not a free ride. It's time to throw mama from the train before it derails.

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Did you just say that Written by Interesting on 11/02/2007A few years ago, I was working at a grocery store as a cashier. There was an older guy there who was a total pig to all the young girls there. He was in his late 40's, grossly overweight, never bathed and only had about 8 teeth. He still thought he was God's gift to women.

I was 19 at the time and very thin. I was in the break room eating a MASSIVE chocolate bar. I wasn't feeling well and someone had stolen my lunch that I left in the break room.

About halfway through the candy bar, Mr. (Puke to the)Right shows up and sits down next to me. He sits close to me, and leans into me. His nasty breath breathing hot on me. He then looks me deep in the eyes and says, "You know, if you eat that whole thing you're going to get fat."

Taking a big bite of my chocolate, I looked up at him and said, "I don't really care. I've got my period today."

He looked at me and said, "That was really rude of you to say. I can't eat anymore." With that he got up and left the break room. He never said a word to me again... But every once in a while when I could tell the other girls were getting grossed out by him, I'd tell them my trick. Shortly there after all I ever saw were tampons sticking out of their back pockets or purses.
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Posted by CK on 11/02/2007:
Great story! ... and a great comeback!

Posted by rev.belevit on 11/03/2007:
Here,here!! Well done. You should've added,"I'm bloated, have d.m.s (during menstrual syndrome) and am going reallllllly heavy today.

Posted by CK on 11/04/2007:
You could also add "You must have SRH (sperm retention headache)."

Posted by is there anywhere good to work? on 11/05/2007:
HEHE. Good One!!

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 11/06/2007:
HA! THAT sent him running! Great idea and great delivery! I'll have to remember that next time I come into contact with another true pig. ^_^

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Dont Get Me Wrong. Written by callcenterhell on 11/02/2007I know I'll get flak for this but I don't care.

I love women. Just not when they're the boss.

Seriously, woman bosses tend to figure into two categories: There are the ones who overcompensate for being a woman by dressing and acting like a man and trying to be over assertive and over authoritative. Or there are the ones who act like women, ie: they cannot separate their emotional issues from work issues.

Our boss just left, coolest guy I ever worked for. In his place, until the cheap ass company hires a new person, we have a senior manager who is from column one and the senior agent who is in our department and also column 2, sharing his position. The new boss is now micromanaging us, telling me to do things that were already done yesterday and has no idea how the team is run: ie: by ourselves, with little to no need for us to be told what to do. The emotional one came in on Monday and snapped at me for not doing something that is not my job to do as it is normally the bosses job. Normally, we get along well so I let it pass, since I know the times when she gets b*tchy are when she's either had a fight with her boyfriend or its that time of the month. That's not me being sexist, she will tell you that's the reason. As if I want that info or give two craps about it.

So two days later she tells us that even though emotional girl is taking on new responsibilities, she is not getting any more pay but that it will look good for when she goes for a higher position. And that we should follow her example by showing initiative (Ie: do things we never had to do before while her and the b*tch who are supposed to replace the boss are not doing anything)
Of course, there is a higher position available in the department emotional b*tch works in, but they have only offered it to people who have shown they can handle managing (2 men in other depts.) And beyond that, I would rather eat fire ants than go through hoops with this company for a 'higher position'.

On the same day, emotional girl said she was in a bad mood because she broke up with her boyfriend and that's why she yelled at me on Monday. But she only said that's why, no apology.

Maybe I should yell at her and tell her its because I've been single for over a year and I'm sexually frustrated. Because apparently it's cool to bring your shitty love life to work and make other people unhappy just because you are.
If she said she was in a bad mood because she hates this place and didn't want to be there, I would have accepted that. But I don't care that you broke up with your boyfriend, especially since you will be back in your pathetic relationship next week when your cramps are gone and he decides he's gone long enough without sex.
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Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 11/02/2007:
I have to agree with you, I hate to say but my last female boss made me swear off female bosses forever. This woman destroyed an entire department and caused EVERY employee to be put on anti-depressants. All of us complained to HR about her to no avail, they did not want to admit they made a mistake in hiring a high priced manager and told everyone of us it the problems were our fault. She was so difficult to get along with that the other managers actually scheduled annual meetings when they knew she would be out of town! They saw her as a roadblock to progress and caused department moral to plummet because no-one wanted to deal with us because they knew they would deal with her. Finally, several of us resigned in the same two week period (which set a company record) and caused HR to finally engage, they moved her to a different position at another facility in another state. When they threw a going away party, I mean it when I say NOONE showed up except for the management team who absolutely had to attend. Oh yeah, there was one person who stuck with her through all of this. She promised to recommend him for a management position, when he applied for her old job she recommended he NOT be given the job because he was not ready for it (not me, no way I would want it!). I could go on, but after working for this person for two years and suffering a TMA from stress I swore off women managers. I admit it is probably unfair but this person jaded me for life.

Posted by the confessor on 11/02/2007:
I think the real problem is women that think they have to really act like men to be a boss. Since they can never really know what it's like to be a man, they act out in weird ways. Men tend to be tribal when in a group, and order themselves accordingly. The best male leaders take charge, while acknowledging and respecting the contributions of others. One great male boss I had used to reward employees by giving them surprise privileges. Example: when one guy mentioned that his fiancee was celebrating a birthday, the boss recalled his coming in the previous weekend to help with a problem and told him to take the afternoon off to be with his girl. This sort of things inspires huge loyalty. Unfortunately, many female bosses would tend to act like the extra work and effort was expected. If women acted more motherly, they would literally have the guys lining up to help. Nuturing, caring, giving, loving...these are the traits that are sadly lacking in most female bosses.

Posted by ResearchScientist on 11/02/2007:
Wow, I don't agree. I have had both male and female idiot bosses before. It is just that people expect different behaviour from women and not from men. However I have never let a single boss put me on antidepressents. I will never let my boss control my mood. If he is in a bad mood that is his problem, I can go home at the end of the day and leave work at work! Why would you allow work to follow you home or why would you allow someone else that much control over you. Of course we have all had bad bosses, who hasn't? But I can offer a reason most people can not tolerate a female boss, stereotypes. Men and women are different, men do not take things as personally as a women do. Women are supposed to be coy and polite and never have an opinion. They are to be seen but never heard and do as they are told! However if women would stop in fighting amongst themselves got over the stupid men in their lives and really took their career seriously, they would rule the world. Men are not as intelligent as women are, biologically they are stronger but women are truly the evil geniuses. It would be a great world if men would just do as they are told by the women running their lives. I really believe that a smart woman would opt to stay at home and make the stupid man do all the wage earning so that she could control the homefront. If I was married and had children, I know I would choose to do such as that. I don't need the stress of working, make the man do it and he will die young! Who needs a new car, or the nicest clothes, and I do not need to keep up with the Jones. Childcare is too expensive. However I am not married and have no children so I am forced to fend for myself and I have to face people who think I should behave a certain way because I am a female. Boo to you! If you annoy me, I am likely to tell you but maybe in a tactful way. Men can not deal with this! I am called a B!tch daily. Guess what no one would dare call a man a b!tch if he told someone he was annoyed at their offensive behaviour! I also do not tolerate other women bashing other women. Enough already ladies. We need to get together and take over! Men are only good for sperm donation, heavy lifting, sex and grunt work! They have no need for an education past highschool. They should not even have the right to vote! Look at the world, it is run by men, why do you think it is in the state of decay it is! Oh and men are just as much at the mercy of their hormones as well. In fact testosterone levels can vary greatly in a single day!!! And everyone knows that testosterone is a very dangerous hormone that can cause people to act and behave very aggressively! Maybe men should be put on hormone therapy.

Posted by ResearchScientist on 11/02/2007:
Why can't people see through things like color of skin and sex! I have met people who I did not like who were a different colored skin and I did not chalk it up to their race. Imagine the can of worms I opened there! Why can't people see the individual and accept them as they are. We are all different. I have met some men that I absolutely think are great human beings and love them for who they are and the same as some women. I have had some male bosses who were very unstable and could not control their aggressive beviour and I have had women bosses who took everything personally and were horrible people to work for, but I never wrote off a sex for one "a singular" persons behaviour. That is sexist and racist!

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 11/02/2007:
ResearchScientist - Normally I would agree with you. But out of the several female bosses I had, I would say two were in the top five I have had. The last one that I had was so seriously bad I will NEVER take a chance on having a female boss again. Lest you think I am alone in this, my former teammates agree. One of them even went to interview for a job and when he found out his boss would be female he pulled his application. I'm sorry I can't be more open minded but this woman did a lot of damage, you may be right but I refuse to take a chance.

Posted by dumber than a catbox full of sh*t on 11/02/2007:
The 2 only people I hate are people who were formerly my Bosses...different is a man, the other a woman.

Posted by Bookwoman on 11/02/2007:
this is such a charged topic. I agree with ResearchScientist that bosses come in all sexes, shapes, sizes, and colors, it's not limited. I think the clash between the corporate or business world environment with the natural tendencies of females is a resounding one. I have met women (and, well, men too, actually), who would have been decent bosses if they had just been who they really were in their boss role. The environment of "work" regardless of type of industry, has been built up by - men. Sorry, guys, but you screwed up. That being said, not all women are bad. Southern Programmer, you disappoint me!! Your stance that you would never work for a woman again because of your experience surprizes me. I do understand how you could feel this way, but am still taken aback. I myself have decided never to work for a certain category of boss again - no more out-and-out crazies for me - but still.... (I do love reading your posts, Southern!! LOL from me.)

Posted by felisdraconius on 11/03/2007:
I dont really have anything to add but wanted to comment about my personal experience. So far, I have not had a male boss, not immediate and direct anyway. All of them have been women. There is one huge difference that I have noticed. For the male bosses, that is to say they were bosses but not really my immediate boss. I have almost always hated them on first sight. The few I have not hated, actually took some time to try to understand and learn how to communicate with me, they also more or less felt the same way about things. could almost call them a friend. But Women bosses...they are the worst. They'd start out well enough, but overtime the manipulation, my building hatred, their bitchy selfcenteredness rears its ugly head. To me that's worse because they get you to think they are trustworthy and honest in a way, all the while they are just f-ing you over. Its more humane in my opinion to just be the jerkwad upfront so everybody fully understands were things stand from the start. Of course not true of everyone, just my experience.

Posted by the confessor on 11/03/2007:
I'd like to add that I also believe that some of my worst female bosses and co-workers were manipulated by male superiors, and in most cases were sexually involved with them. I'm not letting guys off the hook, but in my experience, there are women will go to any length to antagonize someone they feel is an easy target. Fight back, even in a non-violent way, and they will be the first to burst into tears and call the authorities, both inside and outside the workplace.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 11/03/2007:
Bookwoman, sorry to disappoint you. Notice I did not say I mind women co-workers nor do I mind women in the work place. I just will not work for one based on my prior experiences. Yes, I am sure there are EXCELLENT women bosses and I have had them

Posted by Bookwoman on 11/04/2007:
SouthernProgrammer, I was taken aback by the strength of your conviction. I've been thinking about this post and the responses over the last couple of days and turning over all the opinions in my mind. Our experiences go to making us who we are, and I do respect that aspect of anyone I come in contact with. Thinking back on my experiences, I realize that many of my female bosses were crazy in one way or another, more so then the men, although men had their own brand of badness also. Based on my own experiences, I feel that women will play with your mind, but men are more dangerous. I have actually been a target of sexual harassment by a nasty, dirty old man who was proud of his prior association with the Klan, who kept a loaded shotgun in his office next to his desk, and was dishonest in his dealings with his employees. He scared me the most. What I came to learn about him over time has made me feel very mistrustful of any boss, and men in particular. The outside wrappings can very easily mask inner rot. Women tend to be more obvious, though not always, and are not less evil...but I haven't yet had a female boss scare me the way that man did, which was on so many levels. That man continued to call me and harass me AFTER I left his company, and I really did feel fearful of him even after I had left that job. I have since had other jobs and even moved over a thousand miles away, but I actually still read the online newspaper from that area, particularly the obituaries. I don't wish him dead but I am sure going to breathe easier once I know he's gone. On the other hand, I've had the following experiences with female bosses: -been cornered (literally) in an empty office by a female supervisor who got right in my face and shook her finger at me in a threatening manner, and then denied that ever happening and accusing me of lying and making it up -been sent to mandatory "counseling" (go to counseling or lose your job this minute) for what offense I never did get an explanation of. I went to the counseling because I had to keep that job (at least until I got another) because I had the health insurance. I did what I had to do, and went, but I made a big stink about it. I insisted that the appointment be during the work day (not using my own time for this), was paid mileage, and actually let everyone know (this was when I worked for the county HR office, of all places. My job put me in phone contact with many, many employees and departments, and I told them all). My responses completely threw my supervisor off balance because she expected me to completely cower and feel ashamed. Everyone at the county knew she was a wack-a-doo, though, and I got nothing but encouragement, emotional support, and good wishes. I eventually got the counselor to admit that the purpose of the counseling was harassment and unreasonable. My evil supervisor took away my work and would not let me help with other areas in my office, which had so much work that overtime was authorized. I made a habit of spending my "free" time looking up and researching employment law on line, and left the sites up on my monitor while away from my desk. I put together a whole package of documentation, which I let be known I had, to pursue legal action. I did not actually pursue that as I did find another job and moved on. When I gave my notice and let all my county co-workers know they'd need to contact my supervisor after I was gone, most of them said flat out that they would not deal with that women, period. I did not want to spend any more of my precious hours on earth on such evilness. I wanted to heal. And I have. It did help that that woman was fired a couple months after I left, for falsifying her education level. It also felt pretty good when years after he left, the HR director who supported her, was trashed in all the local papers for various "nefarious" activities while in the position of HR director. -and then are many, many, many more. As much as women have tried to drive me crazy, though, by playing games, trying to make me doubt myself, trying to make me look bad, etc, and as rotten as those experiences have been, I do have to say that still, men just scare me more for the type of behaviour and craziness they can get up to. Through my experiences I have come to the conclusion that everyone has a little craziness in them to begin with and anyone can go bad with even a little taste of power. Which has led me to my own philosophy of work: since we all DO have power of a sorts over others, to some degree or another, ALWAYS USE YOUR POWER FOR GOOD. And I believe that many of you who post on this site recognize that, and do not experience it from the people with power in their lives, and are terribly hurt. Sometimes being hurt badly enough can make one terribly, deeply angry. Some anger can be righteous, but it often can end up hurting others...and it all goes on. Which is why it is so important that we all remember, each of us in our little worlds, to only use our power for good. Whether we have evil male, or devil female bosses!!

Posted by dumber than a catbox full of sh*t on 11/04/2007:
I found out a week ago that my Boss (the one before the one that just retired in June) died. I am still shocked. But when I think about it I get a little thrill---like you get right before you check your lotto ticket. I'm not ashamed. I worked for that a*hole for 8 years and he was so terrible--not so much to me but to tons of others. I'm glad he is dead. Too bad it didn't happen sooner--like when I was working for him.

Posted by labtech on 11/05/2007:
Oh, you haven't lived until your female boss is wailing and crying in the corridor to HER female boss, "YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE !" But, seriously, I've been treated horribly by both genders; right now I'd trade my micro-managing, whip-snapping male boss for the female boss of the same level in a New York Second. Quicker, even.

Posted by is there anywhere good to work? on 11/05/2007:
Geesh. I am a woman who works in a Very small building that employs 43 women and 1 man. I turned in my resignation today. Nobody should have to live in that hell!

Posted by callcenterhell on 11/05/2007:
I knew this would start a bunch of sh*t! I love how one person complained about men being sexist and then went on to bash men as only being sperm donors, etc. I like working with women, just not for them. I am not someone who thinks that women with opinions are b*tches or that they should be seen and not heard. It's the backbiting and emotional up and down and the trying to be a man that gets me pissed off. Maybe it is partly our fault, though. So many women seem to be so cold, judgemental and demanding, they must have a lot of pressure on them. But of course there are some cool ones. And the head manager of the office (not the one I posted about) is a woman here and in the few times I spoke to her she seemed actually pretty nice. But I wouldn't want to get on her bad side, either! One funny thing that happened recently was we had a halloween dress up day where we could wear either casual clothes or a cosetume to work and we were donating 2.00 each to charity collection. We had two guys dress up as women because other employees pledged like 100.0 each if they would do it. And then the head manager said she would pledge 50 if the dykey manager would wear a skirt to work (she always wears pants). She showed up in jeans, that's how serious she takes herself, two guys would dress up as women and she wouldnt do it even for charity, and she is a woman. At least I think so. At this point I'm not sure.

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 11/06/2007:
Ok ok guys, let's face it. There are still alot of women who don't seem to handle being bosses. Being a woman in the working world, and having had both male and female bosses, I have this much to say: I am not sexist. I am not prejudiced against folks who look different from me in some way shape or form. I have had AWFUL experiences mostly with women bosses AND women co-workers. It seems to me that a lot of women use being female as an excuse to bring their personal problems to work with them. While it IS easier for men to partition their lives, I will say that women DO have a harder time with this, as our brains are structurally different. This translates into: Women have a harder time partitioning their emotional episodes and personal lives from their work lives. It IS more difficult....but not impossible, and therefore, in my opinion, inexcuseable. We do have a lot of stuff going on. Our bodies are in constant flux. Hormones fluxuate ALL the time, and not all of us are well-balanced, even when hormones are on the wane. I have watched bosses of mine (who were female) abuse others and act out, as they were motivated by misery, jealousy and the need to compete with the cute new hire with blonde hair and button nose. I sometimes wish other women could have experienced the childhood I had: My father raised me. There was no adult woman in the picture. I learned to think (and sometimes act) like a man. Even though I missed out on the mother-daughter thing, I gained a valuable experience: I have a better understanding of BOTH men and women, because I spent my childhood picking my dad's brain. I really believe that another workforce revolution needs to take place. The first was entry into the workforce by the female half of the population. The working world has not changed to make room for the female psyche. That needs to take place. Right now, the working world puts us in an environment of competition, and as anyone knows, we women are ruthless. Women are empathic, intuitive and nurturing. Corporations don't want empathy, intuition or nurture. They want MONEY. It isn't personal. Women in positions of power and influence in the working world forget this, and become ruthless, domineering and passive-agressive. They interpret everything personally, and translate everything personally. However, the bottom line is that it all boils down to CHOICE. Females of jobschmob, remember this: Only YOU can prevent further workplace bitchiness! Make the right choice and leave your personal issues at the office door, and likewise leave your work woes at the front door to your home. You have to make the choice.

Posted by ResearchScientist on 11/07/2007:
I also have to add; that is, if we were all more comfortable in our own skin, thin, fat pretty etc. I think there would be less petty behavior from women. There are still double standards in the work place. If a women is unattractive she is automatically assumed to be jealous of another female. I wonder why?!! I know! Because white men are still predominately the power holders and they can not biologically help favoring an attractive female. Just remember ladies that having sex with men to gain power will only limit your potential. True power is knowing yourself and being happy with yourself no matter what you look like, your social status, financial status etc. True power is knowing the difference between cooperation and subjugation. True power is knowing that men need you more than you need them!

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 11/07/2007:
Hear,hear, Scientist! Tru dat! However, what about Confessor's "Miss Buttock"? Sometimes it isn't about beauty, but power. Ugly women bang the boss too. Perhaps white males simply "go where the store is open"?

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 11/07/2007:
Man, it's been a long day. I missed some critical data here. Sorry, scientist, after scrutinizing my comment and yours, all I've done is be redundant. I'm in complete agreement with what you just said. I probably need a snack and a nap right now...

Posted by Betterdays on 11/08/2007:
Love the comment about the open store!! I guess it takes a wide range of people to make the world go around. Some people are compelled to do strange things. Men will screw anything with a hole in it, but they use a womens insecurities against them. What are women usually insecure about? Their looks, most of the time. I know most women are smarter than men, even the ones who play the dumb blonde. They are just using what limited resources they have to get what they want or need. An interesting study was conducted about what men find attractive or unattractive, smart women are a complete turn off, even if they are cute. Now do wonder why women use manipulation to get what they want?!! I understand why! Men have most of the power and are easily manipulated by a woman in a tight dress playing stupid. Wake up ladies! We do not need men, they are like a necklace yes they are nice to have but not really needed. Sperm banks have great methods of cryopreservation!! Men look out! Your kind could find it's way into extinction. Think of it ladies, no men to compete for, if you want kids go to the sperm bank. We would have longer maternity leaves and women would not fight against each other for mens attention or power. Sorry guys, you have had it good for a long time. I love it when a man complains he has a tough time because he is discriminated against because he is a white man. White men have no clue what discrimination is because they have always held the power. Give me a break, women and blacks had to protest and fight for the right to VOTE! Black people still are afraid of law enforcement and get unfair penalties and sentences! The day of reckoning is coming soon and white men are going to have to pay for the abuses they have done. I do feel bad for you because there are a lot of good guys out there but the sins of the fathers are paid for by the blood and tears of their sons. I hate to sound so melodramatic but guys you had the power for a long time and your time will soon be up!

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 11/08/2007:
Well, there is at least one jewel in every pile of garbage, so there is still hope for males in general. I am a white female married to a gem of a black man. He's ridiculously smart, wise for his years, resourceful, respectful and fun. He loves intelligence in a woman, and I feel he and I are responsible for making more people (I hope young men) like him. I don't agree with reducing men to mere sperm banks. There are many (hard to find) men out there who are worth the time and energy spent to build good relationships and friendships with. We women need men, and men need us. Don't let a bunch of idiots ruin it for the good guys!

Posted by Betterdays on 11/09/2007:
HAND, I am glad to see that you have found a gem in the rough! Black men have not had the easiest time in the white mans world. Black men have observed the deeds the white man has done and how he treats women in general. The black culture is truly a maternal society. Black women are truly powerful beings in their communities, not because their men are weak but it who they are. I am sorry I really do not like to make generalizations. I like to observe and treat people as individuals but white men have it coming to them. The good ol'boy network is going to come crashing down around their ankles. Betterdays are coming soon. Jena 6 is just the calm before the real storm. Things are going to change.

Posted by Experienced on 11/09/2007:
I agree with you 100%. I've been working for over 30 years. The males are generally less emotional, and more about the job. The females view everything as personal. The male bosses are also much, much more honest and up front. They are much more "about the job". I can say, "I disagree with this report" to the males, and they ask why. I can say that to a female, I get a lecture on being competitive, not liking how they dress or am accused of being jealous.

Posted by MillyMoo on 01/04/2008:
Great comments fellow Job-Schmobbers - let's just take it as accepted that we all realise that it's not fair to generalise on the basis of gender, and yet..... ...and yet, as the proud owner of a set of functioning ovaries, I’m compelled to admit that no female manager I’ve ever worked for has been worth the pay cheque, card-entry or logo-ed lanyard! The boss I have just resigned from was forced - by our HR department no less - to pay me seven months' salary in recognition that, despite being a world-renowned academic and director of her own research school - she had been using bullying tactics to forcibly transfer me from her unit because – and this is an actual statement – “I have management prerogative to be able to transfer you on despite your excellent work.” What's appalling is that I'm NOT a fellow academic or even a PhD student - I was her research *administrator* (the lowest of the low at uni), yet she couldn't handle the fact that I planned, researched, interviewed case studies and wrote an entire book in the three-month time frame she gave me! After all, how dare a pond-scum-level minion summarise her research findings and put them in plain English for ~gasp~ non-academics to read? What is perhaps even more disturbing is that her field of research expertise is work/life balance and yet she extends absolutely none of those initiatives to any of her staff. She talks-the-talk of course, but rapidly runs out of interest or sympathy if a staffer is ill for longer than one day or doesn’t have time to hang on her every word or compliment her on her latest TV or radio interview. All of my workmates are now looking for new jobs (which is hard in a smallish city in Australia, esp. in academia) to get the hell away from her double-standard, limelight-hogging, snide-remarking, ego-driven hypocrisy after seeing what she was capable of with me. As you have all commented previously, she displayed all of the classic Estro-A**hole failings: took things personally, got irritable with staff for no reason and then used 'personal reasons' as her explanation, abused the credit card/travel/seniority privileges she'd been given at the university (how does spending one thousand dollars for one night’s accommodation at the Hyatt Hotel in the Rocks, Sydney sound as an appropriate way to spend grant funds?) but made other senior academics travel via 3-star, 2-years-out-date daily allowance rates and resorted to thinly-veiled insults and put downs during important meetings. I am comforted by HR's stance in this matter. I'm not naive enough to think that she'll be fired - it's the real world and as a big name in academic research she brings in the media attention to our wannabe-big-but-still-in-a-distant-third-place-university and its accompanying research dollars from government and private industry. This didn’t mean that I wasn’t able to ask my union for advice and back-up (which they did admirably) and by carefully documenting events (thank God for emails and work mates who were willing to back up my claims). The result is that she is now regarded by HR as someone who has used up her big-wig brownie points and who won't be permitted to take any short cuts with staff from now. So does this long and winding ramble have a point, you who have lasted this long ask? Yes - apart from finding a new job there is another avenue - document everything, see your union rep and keep on hassling your HR department. Persistence – and good strategies on how to leave it all at the office when it’s time to go home every night – will work. Or, more simply: Karma will win out in the end, baby.

Posted by dontask 0 :( on 01/04/2008:
Lucky You! MillyMoo! You have an excellent support group. Keep it that way and don't let some sleazy Lawyer-Politicians talk the population into changing employment laws in your country. In some states over here workers have no protection or recourse whatsoever. Our safety nets are gone. Rules are written in such legalese that interpretation is up to any managing boss. Female supervisors have been the worst, taking advantage and twisting every rule to suit their own sick needs.

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The Boss Lady Written by somebodywhocares on 10/30/2007Okay here's the situation. I've been working in this area of my job for five years. I've trained lots of people in this area. My boss thinks I"m an asset to the company, and says good things about my job and performance. There have never been any complaints against my job performance and how I have been doing things in the department.

Until she steps in...the boss lady. Now she's not really a boss at all, in fact she's just a team member like me. However she "thinks" she runs the place. She came into the department all nice and sweet. I trained her and showed her all that I knew to help her perform well up there. For a long time we were on friendly basis and things were fine. Then after some time when I suppose she started to feel more confident in the department she started being bossy to me. This irk's me off because I know what I'm doing and hell I trained her!

She criticizes my job performance and says that I'm not doing my job. She says comments to me like, "That's not how I would have done it." or other things to the effect like. It's starting to really get under my skin and I can't stand it. The situation I'm in is turning really sour and bad and I don't know what to do to get myself out of this jam.

The situation is compounded by the fact that I"m not an actual "Trainer" at my job....but the bosses have assigned me as a trainer kind of on the hush hush...and I've done it because I care and I like helping people...and I figure that someday it will do good for me in my job for promotion or something someday. Yet however this is her tool against me all of a sudden. She comes up there and commands me around and puts all the work on me. She does no actual work, but she kisses up to the boss and tells him it's all her doing, while I"m stuck picking up her slack. I train the new hires, take care of the problems and fix the mistakes she makes...and she sits around and talks a bunch of crap to the other employees about me..and then walks up to the boss and tells him she did my work!

In a specific situation I had to train someone. In order to train this person I had to make a decision to move everyone around in the department so that I may be next to her all day to help her with any questions or problems she might encounter along the way on her first day up there. Boss lady comes up to me in a fit of rage and gets all irate with me in front of all the other co workers and questions me for doing that. She gets all bent out of shape about messing up the rotation! Oh the rotation and if it gets messed up...for a greater purpose of training someone new she gets all worked up and starts her obsessive b*I(thing.

Then last week I decided to take vacation. She comes up to me in a storm of fury and snaps at me...."What about the new girl? Does she know what she's doing?" I looked at her and said, "if she has questions I"m sure you can help her..." What I really wanted to say was, "since you can tell me how to do my job that I've been doing for five years....I'm sure you can train her if you think you know oh so much!" However...the funny part of this woman is she doesn't want to train anyone or help anyone with any all. She wants me to do it , but then she wants to tell me how to do it.

So I told her, "Look I'm going on vacation and you are just going to have to help her if she needs it....I'm sure you can handle've been up here long know what you are doing."

I came back from vacation and into a living hell. She had managed to talk about me to all the other co workers...and managed to turn them all against me. They no longer speak to me and I see them congregate and talk about me behind my back. It makes me mad, because I know I trained every single last one of them...and I know that they will continue to talk crap about me...until they encounter a problem and then they need my help. In which case since they see that I'm a sucker and a push over they will walk right over me and be nice to me to get their issue resolved and then they will go back to gossiping and ignoring me.

I've about had it with this boss lady...I want to put her in her place...but I'm not sure how to do that and save face. *wow that rhymed...* I have had a great reputation as until now and I"m afraid this manipulative woman is going to ruin everything I've worked so hard for for five years. What the hell can I do? besides back slap her...? which is really what I want to do.

I've kind of made the notion that may be I should not help her anymore with her problems. I'm thinking that when she comes up to me and starts being fakingly nice all of a sudden to butter me up for what she wants out of me which is to fix her problem, that I am going to look at her and say, "You know I don't know....I can't help you. " and let the bossy lady go figure it out for herself. But then I think that could probably go wrong because she could start telling the boss that I don't' know how to fix the problems up there...or something or justify that I don't' know what I'm doing in the department, when in fact I do. Maybe I should say to her, " Look since you think you know more than I do and you can tell me how to do my job, I'm not going to help you...because if you know more than I do...then why do you need my help anyway?"

Anyone run into a person like this? What do you do? I"m afraid this woman is going to try to ruin my reputation and make me miserable or get me fired. Like I said she has somehow in a weeks time turned everyone against me and they are all ignoring and not speaking to me anymore and when I left things were just fine with everyone and I. I get back and there's all this drama going on...what the hell do I do to defend myself against this bossy lady?
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Posted by ResearchScientist on 10/30/2007:
It sounds like this person is a drama queen and she is trying to dethrone the old queen (you) and take over. I know that you may not think that you have control issues, but maybe your co-workers do not see it that way. Find out what has been said behind your back! I hope you have loyal minions to thwart her effort. This could be a cold war of epic proportions! Do not worry about this low life scum sucking, bottom feeding, filthy ameoba; she will hang herself with her own evil machinations. Be polite but offer nothing, if she comes to you and asks for help, find the boss and make sure he is in earshot when you tell her how to do something. Do not offer to do anything for this women. She is evil, plain and simple. This person is a waste of flesh. Rise above her petty behaviour and others will start talking to you again when they see that you will not take the bait. They are not talking to you because they do not want to get drawn into this fight. They are scared they will be the next target!

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 10/30/2007:
This person is trying to set herself up to BE your boss. She is doing simple mind games and the fact you are calling her boss lady shows they may be working. Quite frankly, since you trained her, a normal pecking order would have HER asking you for help but she has managed to turn it around where SHE is questioning your actions. What this is boiling down to is a contest of will power, yours against hers. If you want to have a happy work environment you need to slap this person down hard enough where she will leave you alone. The next time she says something like "I wouldn't have done it that way" simply reply, "I know, that's why I did it MY way...I wanted it done RIGHT" and then walk off WITHOUT giving her a chance to reply. If she continues to question her, BLOW up at her and say "I have done this job for FIVE years and TRAINED you, what makes YOU think you are in a position to question how I do MY work?!" Sometimes, a situation arises where you have to blow up at someone to let them know you can't be pushed around.

Posted by anonymous on 10/30/2007:
"...The situation in compounded by the fact that I am not the actual TRAINER at my JOB....but the bosses have assigned me as a trainer kind on the hush hush...I figure that someday it will be good for me in my job for a promotion or something someday..." These lines sent chills down my spine, because it is understood that your training of new coworkers is supposed to be done in silence. That can mean no future credit for work done and scant chance of proving that your work volume is as high as the rest of the 'gang'. Do you have lazy bosses or are they overwhelmed? Among other things this is a management issue. A situation like this does not happen unless management lets it happen. In one particular case, the managers were too cowardly to admit that a subordinate had done the training. It was also nice to take all the credit and work that person into exhaustion while a coworker created a hostile situation. The subordinate could never mention his training experience because the managers would not back him. They also developed amnesia and berated him during work performance meetings for work he had no control over. The other worker could do no wrong. It was a nasty smear attack on a very motivated worker.

Posted by Bookwoman on 10/30/2007:
I once found myself in a somewhat similar situation. When I returned to work (years and years ago) after a 3 month maternity leave, I found all the office dynamics had changed, which was somewhat understandable, but so had people's attitudes towards me. I found it very confusing, trying to understand what I had done to piss everyone off while I wasn't even there! These kinds of things seem to rise up from nowhere and take us by surprise. I would think you are feeling off-balance right now, which makes it a bit difficult to think objectively about how to respond to this. Southern Programmer offers good advice, in my opinion, when he says "The next time she says something like "I wouldn't have done it that way" simply reply, "I know, that's why I did it MY way...I wanted it done RIGHT" and then walk off WITHOUT giving her a chance to reply. If she continues to question her, BLOW up at her and say "I have done this job for FIVE years and TRAINED you, what makes YOU think you are in a position to question how I do MY work?!" Sometimes, a situation arises where you have to blow up at someone to let them know you can't be pushed around. " I agree with that advice because your story conveys the sense this woman is settling into her role, and having a high old time settling YOU into YOUR role, as defined by her. I also agree with anonymous, regarding your so-called status as "trainer." If you are not getting real credit from doing that, DO NOT DO IT. Is this work part of your performance evaluations, or documented in any way? That's a must. I would also ask to meet with your boss, who you describe positively, to discuss your "trainer" status, without focusing on the current interpersonal issues related to it, although please note I say "focusing," which does not mean you should leave that out all together. It is an aspect of your current concern, and valid, and worth mentioning. I keep a little quote taped to my monitor, don't remember who it's by: "Remember to mind yourself, body, spirit and soul." It helps me remember that I am pretty much the only advocate I have for me, and I need to take care of me, regardless of what's on my plate at the moment. Good luck with this situation. Keep us posted!

Posted by dumber than a catbox full of sh*t on 10/30/2007:
When she says, "I wouldn't have done it that way" you can say either--"If you don't like how I do it/did it, do it yourself" or my favorite:"Who cares what you think?" That one usually stops them dead in their tracks.

Posted by dumber than a catbox full of sh*t on 10/30/2007:
Oh--and I would meet with my Boss with the old (or if one does not exist) a job description in which you list your training. Have the Boss sign-off on it. If the Boss won't--quit doing the training.

Posted by dumber than a catbox full of sh*t on 10/30/2007:
Sorry Schmobber--again Me--an old song called "Big Boss Man."

Posted by labtech on 10/31/2007:
They dump the nasty jobs on the mule that doesn't buck so much. Document everything, including back records of everyone you have trained, and next time it gets into Raise/Review season, whip out the notes. And my comment to the Boss Lady would be, "Oh, really ?" with a big bright smile, "That's not the way I trained YOU, but if you have time to complain...file these for me. I'm busy."

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 11/06/2007:
Everyone here has something useful to contribute to your issue. I would listen to them if I were you. You ARE being used, wadded up and discarded like an old candy wrapper. Stand up for yourself, get trainer status and tell your bossy coworker 'NO' when she asks you for help. Tell her you're too busy. Her mistakes will eventually show up to people that can make things happen and she will get called on the carpet for it. Also, if she asks you for help you can say something like, "You should have paid attention when I was training you. You should KNOW how to do this. *SIGH*. I GUESS I'll have to show you AGAIN......" Basically imply she's wasting your time and can't follow simple directions. Mean and passive-aggressive, I know, but she's dragging you down and creating discourse. Give her some of her own medicine. AND definitely go to your supervisors and HR (or anyone with power who cares and can help).

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Please fire these pieces of Driftwood!!!!!!!!! Written by Wage Slave on 10/27/2007I had to attend CPE (Continuing Professional Education)on taxes this week. The instructors, my coworkers, are given minimal paid preparation time, therefore they are prepping on their own time. They were very well prepared and I respect them. They do this to help newer employees and show changes in the upcoming year.

One instructor who is very bright has a weight problem and the older clique members do not like her. The clique members in this class were a manager, a lead and an old dusty tramp. They made every attempt to correct her when she was not wrong. This instructor used our manual references to back her findings up.

At one point a newer employees asked her a question she and no one else could not answer. She said, "I don't know but I will look it up at lunch and come back with an answer." These fools made it a point to laugh and joke about her missing her lunch. The old dusty tramp turned completely around in her desk, smiling at the other two. The youngest of these three stooges is 47.

Luckily the majority of the people didn't think it was funny. I know I could not have kept my composure. These people are connected, so if I complain they will make my life hell.

I don't expect a solution but it sure feels good to vent.
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Posted by felisdraconius on 10/27/2007:
if it were me I would try to find a way to make it so they fail the course or make it appear as if they didn't show up or something, what ever I could do to make it a pain for them.

Posted by anonymous on 10/27/2007:
I cannot comment on this particular situation other than fellow workers in this age group dished out an extraordinary amount of grief to younger and older employees. The younger ones left or transfered, the older ones retired.

Posted by CK on 10/28/2007:
I'm in the same situation. The cliques rule and when I made a formal complaint (slander) is when the clique turned their focus against me. I am in a living Hell. I am to the point of hiring an lawyer and seeing if I can file suit against the orginization.

Posted by Interesting on 10/29/2007:
Quite a few years ago, when I was sitting at my college orientation, there was a professor behind me who kept kicking my chair and talking behind me. So I turned around and asked very politely, to stop as it was distracting. She then looked at her co-worker made some kind of face and then proceeded to keep kicking my chair. I turned around and said, "You know it's really sad that I'm 35 years younger than you, but have much more maturity in one finger than you have in your entire body. You may see this every year, but I've never been to college before." She stopped after that.

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Pulling knives out of the back - again Written by CK on 10/26/2007I am about to come off of light-duty. I had injured myself (agrivated an old injury) by the physical labor (punishment/returbution) which some call "an opportunity".

My Supervisor asked my yesterday how I was going considering that my one doctor note (I have two from different doctors) only gave a 4 week light-duty. I tell him that I am still on medication and still considering surgery. I told him that I will get another doctors note for an extension for being on light-duty.

So what happens? The A-hole who assigns service tickets and Work Orders gives me a WO for 380 pieces of equipment. In essence placing me in the same condition that got my injured in the first place!

I told this one lady where I work and she said that that is harassment! She can't BELIEVE that they are still playing these games - games to which I think I can sue them over. I know they wast me to quit - it's just that I haven't done anything wrong and thus they can't fire me. They can only try to make my life a living hell.
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Posted by Wage Slave on 10/27/2007:
Please, please, please get an attorney and document this. Photocopy this kind of work order if your boss is stupid enough to give it to you in writing. You may be able to get her reprimanded.

Posted by CK on 10/27/2007:
But I sure would like to set it up to get this one SOB fired!

Posted by CK on 10/27/2007:
BTW - My employer is the local Government!

Posted by labtech on 10/28/2007:
Local Government is notoriously difficult to deal with - most of the supervisors "know" someone, so they are protected in their jobs. Do you have a union rep, and if so, set up the lawsuit now. Go to the top, too, and make it known in professional terms that you are being abused, with proof (copies only, never give those rats originals). This will probably make you a bigger target, but is it better to be dead or injured so much you can't work ?

Posted by CK on 10/28/2007:
No union ... The corruption is from the CIO on down! I intend to go to Risk Management about my medical condition. I am also considering going to HR but the wife says 'no' and to deal with my Superisor on the issue. I have an MBA and they treat me and a selected few like crap! I know of another co-worker in a differetent department (same division) who is talking to a lawyer now for discrimination and harrassment. And to think this person talked to the CIO and HR. She is just waiting to hear back from HR as to the results before she procedes further. And I had talked to the CIO in regards to my advancement because of my MBA and it is like talking to dead air ... at least when you talk to a wall you hear a slight echo of your own voice! And this doesn't count for all the other illegal/unlawful activities in my department! Don't get me started there! I can truly say that I work with criminals!

Posted by BPFH on 10/28/2007:
I have to agree with WageSlave: you need an attorney, and you need one NOW. Get one from out of town. If you get one from in town, and there's as much of a good ol' boys network as you've implied, you run the risk of getting an attorney who won't properly represent you.

Posted by CK on 10/28/2007:
I'll talk to my old law professor and see what he says and what I can and should do.

Posted by CK on 10/28/2007:
BTW - Think of this as 'your tax dollars at work.' I am also considdering showing the Commissioner my e-mail letter and Supervisor's response to her. Remember that this all started in Febuary this year ... What do ya'll think?

Posted by Wage Slave on 10/28/2007:
BPFH made an excellent point about an attorney from out of town. Try to keep your plans quiet about instituting a lawsuit until your attorney is ready. Good luck.

Posted by CK on 10/28/2007:
I think my law professor would be a good place to start. He can tell me if I have a possible case and may recommend a lawyer. You know how it is with lawyers and doctors - they know one another and who is good and who is not to represent you. At least it is a starting point.

Posted by CK on 10/28/2007:
From WebMd... and my employer wants me to go back in and do the same thing all over again! Pisses me off! What’s the Treatment for a Rotator Cuff Tear? As bad as these injuries can be, the good news is that many rotator cuff tears heal on their own. You just need to give them a little time. You also should: • Rest the joint as much as possible. Avoid any movement or activity that hurts. You may need a sling. • Ice your shoulder 2-3 times a day to reduce pain and swelling. • Perform range-of-motion exercises, if your doctor recommends them. • Consider physical therapy to strengthen the joint. • Use anti-inflammatory painkillers, like Advil, Aleve, or Motrin. However, these drugs can have side effects, like an increased risk of bleeding and ulcers. They should be used only occasionally, unless your doctor specifically says otherwise. More serious rotator cuff tears require surgery. One procedure is an arthroscopy. Instead of inserting a camera, the surgeon will use a tiny tool to repair the rotator cuff tear. He or she might trim away some of the tendon or sew it back together. When Will I Feel Better? Of course, what a lot of athletes really want to know is when they can get back in the game. But it’s hard to say. Recovery time after a rotator cuff tear depends on how serious the tear is. It may take weeks or months. People heal at different rates. Obviously, if you need surgery, recovery will take longer. But whatever you do, don’t rush things. Do not resume the activity that caused your injury until: • You feel no pain in your shoulder. • Your shoulder feels as strong as the uninjured one. If you start using your shoulder before it’s healed, you could cause permanent damage. You should ease back into your sport. For instance, if you got a rotator cuff tear from throwing, don’t start off by pitching fastballs. Do more gentle tossing until you get your strength back. Rotator Cuff Disorders A rotator cuff is more easily damaged or torn as age-related degeneration develops. The factors below often occur together or overlap. • Bones that are irregularly shaped can affect how the cuff moves in the subacromial space. You may be born with these irregularities, or they may occur after some type of injury, such as a broken bone or dislocation of the shoulder joint. If the acromion is hooked or curved, impingement or degeneration of rotator cuff tendons may be more likely. • As you age, everyday activities and normal wear and tear lead to some changes in the rotator cuff, such as:  General degeneration of the tendon, which includes thinning, fraying, and tearing.  Decreased blood supply to the tendons.  Arthritis of the acromioclavicular (AC) joint, which can cause bony growths that can damage the rotator cuff. • Joint looseness and muscle imbalance in the shoulder can cause damage, including the formation of scar tissue and changes in the tissue itself. • Repetitive activities, especially forceful overhead motions, can damage the rotator cuff. These motions are common in certain sports or occupations, including throwing a baseball, the overhead swing in tennis, swimming, lifting, or painting.  Repetitive activity can cause tendons to rub or scrape against the acromion, which can irritate the rotator cuff.  Repeated overhead motions can damage stabilizing ligaments and result in an imbalance of opposing shoulder muscles, which may cause tendons to rub against the bones (impingement). • Overuse may occur with or be closely related to repetitive activities. Normal motions made frequently over a long period can stress or injure rotator cuff tissues. Young athletes may develop tendinitis from overuse in throwing, swimming, and racquet sports.1  Overuse can lead to functional overload, in which the shoulder joint becomes unstable and allows the ball of your upper arm bone (humeral head) to move upward, narrowing the subacromial space where the rotator cuff moves. In this narrowed space, the rotator cuff is squeezed, forcing the tendon to rub against bone (impingement).

Posted by dumber than a catbox full of sh*t on 10/28/2007:
CK--I think Bp's idea of an out-of-town attorney is brilliant. And I do think that your idea of going to your law prof is excellent!

Posted by CK on 10/29/2007:
I'll keep ya'll posted.

Posted by ResearchScientist on 10/29/2007:
CK, I am really worried about you! Everyone around you seems to be out to get you! Document everything, but maybe you should seek some professional help from a Doctor or a mental health professional. I am not saying you are crazy, but you are certainly under a lot stress that seems to be brought on by those around you where you work. I too sometimes feel that people are out to get me or have me fired, but it has never come to pass. I have lost a job from a vindictive boss, but it did not ruin my career or my life. It was just a temporary set back, from which I learned a lot from. In a way I should actually thank that boss who fired me, because she did me a favor. I l

Posted by CK on 10/29/2007:
My current Supervisor suggested that I go to EAP. Since I like this Supervisor from before I agreed. When I called EAP to make an appointment the ladies I talked to told me that I don't appear to have a problem and wondered why I was making the appointment. I told them that my Supervisor suggested it and I was willing to go becasue of him. They also said that I had a GREAT attitude, that I was funny (they were laughing hard), and thought that I didn't have any issues to be addressed but made the appointment anyway. I took my e-mails, etc to EAP councelor and explained the situation and let her read the e-mails and other papers I brought with me. She almost couldn't believe what I was going through. She asked me what I thought I should do. I told her that they haven't given me much in options and have resigned myself to looking for another job. I explained that I like my current Supervisor but there is way too much water over the bridge to turn back because nothing I could do would make much difference. She pressed me for what I thought would be a solution. I again expained that the solution is to seek employment elsewhere and that is what I am currently doing. In the end she said that it appears that I have things handled the best that I can and she saw no need to me to return unless I felt the need to talk things over again. So I am not crazy or nuts or any thing like that. I just happen to work with human snakes! But the way I look at it is that as I am seeking employment elsewhere (a former manger was overheard saying she wanted to get rid of me) I figure that until that blessed time I will keep handing them the rope to hang themselves.

Posted by CK on 10/29/2007:
Just a little light reading ... And I have even MORE legal research/documentation completed. What they don't realise is that I know 'where all the bodies are buried.' But I also know that I am not the only one - there is someone else in much the same position and this person is now talking to a lawyer now! 634.336 f.s. Abstract: -- Knowingly making, publishing, disseminating, or circulating, directly or indirectly, or aiding, abetting, or encouraging the making, publishing, disseminating, or circulating of, any oral or written statement, or any pamphlet, circular, article, or literature, which is false or maliciously critical of, or derogatory to, any person and which is calculated to injure such person. 5. Causing, directly or indirectly, to be made, published, disseminated, circulated, delivered to any person, or ... (3) DEFAMATION.--Knowingly making, publishing, disseminating, or circulating, directly or indirectly, or aiding, abetting, or encouraging the making, publishing, disseminating, or circulating of, any oral or written statement, or any pamphlet, circular, article, or literature, which is false or maliciously critical of, or derogatory to, any person and which is calculated to injure such person. (4) FALSE STATEMENTS AND ENTRIES.-- (a) Knowingly: 1. Filing with any supervisory or other public official; 2. Making, publishing, disseminating, or circulating; 3. Delivering to any person; 4. Placing before the public; or 5. Causing, directly or indirectly, to be made, published, disseminated, circulated, delivered to any person, or placed before the public, any false statement.

Posted by ResearchScientist on 10/30/2007:
CK, You have certainly done your homework and that is a good thing! to quote Martha Stewart. These people sound like serial bullies and have probably a lot of bodies in their closet. Find these other people and get together and file a class action law suit. However make sure you sue the corporation and not individual parties. You can always return with a civil law suit against individual parties. Make them pay for what they have done to you and others, don't let them get away with this. I would sue the individual parties for every penny they had. I would make them so indigent that their grandchildren will be begging for food on the street corner. Take the clothes right off their backs, take everything away from them food, love, comfort, basic human rights. Oh I am sorry did I go to far. Sometimes it is better to turn the other cheek and leave well enough alone. I hope your job search pays off. Best wishes.

Posted by CK on 10/30/2007:
I law-speak it is good to use the IRAC method (Issue, Rule, Analysis, and Conclusion). I need to know what the issues are, what laws are applied, etc - you get the picture.

Posted by anonymous on 10/30/2007:
Research You certainly paint a tempting picture. If only a few of those destructive bullies could be sued successfully in civil court, it would stop the rest of them in their cowardly tracks. As for going to far I don't know, they certainly don't care what their misdeeds do to their victims' families.

Posted by ResearchScientist on 10/31/2007:
It is interesting what laws one could apply to bullying tactics. However if you could prove malicious intent you may have a case. Proof! you need proof, with out a doubt, witness, dates, times. Murder convictions have been done on less evidence it would require to sue your bully. This is something one should think about. If the bully is trying to take your lively hood away from you, then you have every right to defend it with justifiable means. Look out bullies! We are out to get you!!!!

Posted by anyomous on 11/19/2007:
I hope you get help. I'm in a similiar situation. I'm almost dead because of the emotional harrassment and they put me on the back breaking jobs because they know I have a bad back. You know, I understand why people go back and get even. I'm glad I'm not a violent person but I do so want to somehow get some legal help. Cries (on last nerve from 72 hours of no sleep because of job from hell)

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Take this (middle finger), Coach!!! Written by dumber than a catbox full of sh*t on 10/22/2007We have a little less than 2 weeks before the end of the 1st quarter marking period (report cards). A teacher came up to me last week to talk to me about a kid--I did not know at the time what his tie to the kid was--teacher,coach, homeroom teacher, etc....

In the middle of our conversation, the teacher got into a physical altercation with a student in the hall, pre-empting our conversation.

I wrote the teacher a note giving the details of the kid's performance in my class.

The teacher came to me today and told me that the kid was recruited to come to our school due to his sports ability and that he couldn't lose the kid. The Coach (teacher) told me that we had to make a plan to pass this kid. The kid has had 8 weeks to get himself in a passing grade position and has failed to do so despite receiving a failure notice. I told the Coach that it didn't seem likely that the kid would pass. The Coach kept saying that the kid had to pass and we had to find a way to pass him. I couldn't believe what I was hearing--so I said things like, "You can't demand that I pass this kid." "You're backing me into a corner." "You can't make me pass a kid." The coach denied he was doing this but in his repetition of telling me we had to pass the kid, this is what he was telling me.

I always offer extra credit. But extra credit is just that--extra credit--to enhance one's grade not to make-up for doing nothing for 8 weeks and getting scared 2 weeks before the report cards are done.

I don't take late work. The Coach told me this was unfair. I explained that if I took late work from this kid I would have to take late work from the other 150 kids I have. I also said that I can't have a separate set of rules for this kid because it would not be fair to the other kids.

All of this was in a public place. I am pissed because:
1. It was public
2. I was not treated politely--like, "Excuse me, Mrs. __, are you busy? Can we talk now or can we talk later...." I don't like rudeness and it amazes me that a person thinks they will get what they want by being rude.
3. I was-littled/insulted by his telling me I wasn't fair and by him trying to--
4. Bully me into passing this kid.

He sent me a letter in my mailbox asking when I was free to talk about the kid's homework. I am not going to respond.
Neither the kid nor the parents have contacted me about the kid's (lack of ) progress--and the Failure Notice at midterm is mailed to the house, so obviously the only person this kid's progress matters to is the Coach.

The Coach is not my Boss so I DON'T have to talk to him. PLUS--I gave him all the info. last week about this kid.

If this Coach continues to bother me I am going to go to the Athletic Director or the new Principal that has made it VERY CLEAR that WE ARE NOT TO PASS KIDS WHO DON'T DESERVE IT!!!

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Posted by anonymous on 10/22/2007:
If this kid is capable of completing and passing I can certainly see your point. Since his parents won't or can't care would tutoring be an available option? Never mind sports, I hate to see any child not prepared for life. Coach was rude and disrespecting you. Even a corrupt individual knows to approached in a private setting. Telling you in front of other students shows how little he cares. It seems as if he wanted to be turned down and start a grudge match.

Posted by dumber than a catbox full of sh*t on 10/22/2007:
anonymous--thank-you for your comments and support. The kid can get tutoring--info regarding this is said in Homeroom everyday via memo to homeroom teacher and the p.a. announcements. Kids can also ask any teacher for tutoring and a teacher will either help the kid themself or will refer the kid to the counselor if they want to take advantage of a tutoring program within the school. I did not make it clear--this public confrontation was done in the Teacher's room but nonetheless was public as it was said in front of my co-workers.

Posted by CK on 10/23/2007:
Considering that this confrontation was in front of your co-workers could work to your advantage if you were to take the matter to a higher level. If upper management inform you that you have to pass the child then do you really want to work there where they lower their standards? Also it seems that parents (and I use the term loosely) figure that it is their right to have children but it is socities duty to raise their brat. Thoses are the people that really erk my ass! Just becuase someone can have a child doesn't mean the parent's duty stops there - it is only begining! I feel if the child is out getting into trouble that after a while the parents should be put into jail as well for neglect!

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 10/23/2007:
Perhaps the kid's parents are unable to help him, and it just looks like they don't care. I was that kid (minus the coach) when I was in school. I was a source of continuous consternation for my teachers. They all were pulling out their hair and grinding their teeth because they thought I was a bright kid, and that if I just applied myself, I'd be doing great. I needed help, because of alot of issues at home. My parents were getting a divorce, and the friction between my parents affected me in ways I didn't understand. I really didn't know what "apply myself" meant. I wasn't interested in homework, or anything that seemed boring, and my dad (who ended up having custody of me and the sibs) was as helpless as I was. It sounds like this kid might be one of those cases. He doesn't yet know how to care about his future. It may take some growing up on his part, and teachers and parents will not be able to do much to teach him lessons that time and experience can. It's too bad about that coach. I think it's interesting that he would confront you in front of other teachers. That's really stupid. Others will be able to point the FINGER ^_^ at him if he gets called on the carpet for his actions and insistence. If he keeps bothering you, go to tell the big banana and get a managerial boot into his ass. If he wants the kid to pass so bad, tell him to get the kid a tutor and a councilor.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 10/23/2007:
You are doing the right thing and I would involve the principal and school counselor to make sure there isn't another reason the kid isn't doing his work. The Coach is not doing the kid ANY favors whatsoever, the kids skills may be good enough for high school ball (I am assuming this is a HS situation) but what if they are not good enough to get recruited into a College or a professional team? The Coach sounds like he is using the kid to further his own career, while this kid could wind up working at a minimum wage job.

Posted by dumber than a catbox full of sh*t on 10/26/2007:
Update--later that same day the Coach sent me a note asking when I was free to go over the kid's (lack 0f)homework. I had decided not to respond. The next day the coach was absent. The day he was absent we had a staff meeting in which we were told to enter our grades this coming Mon. and Tues.--not Friday. So when Coach saw me in the hall and asked if I had gotten his note, I told him what we had been directed to do from the meeting. Coach must have realized it was too late so he asked if we could get together to make a plan for this kid for 2nd quarter. I said fine. But he is going to have to initiate this. Bad thing is is that Coach and I have always gotten along very, very well. I wonder if he thought about how crappy he had treated me. He may be wondering if he burnt a bridge he really didn't want to burn for a few reasons: 1. We have always gotten along well personally and professionally and 2. I don't have to do anything with him regarding this kid--it would be a professional courtesy--after all, he isn't the parent. Additionally, the kid keeps failing every opportunity that is given to him to do better.

Posted by anonymous on 10/26/2007:
HADND has the right idea. Is there anybody who can asses the kid's condition any further, counseling or medical just in case?

Posted by dumber than a catbox full of sh*t on 10/27/2007:
Trust me--the kid doesn't want to do any work--he wants to slide by. The few assignments he has turned-in are fine--quite good actually. The kid wants to sit in the back of the class, be tardy, not bring a book, not take notes and not do any work. Extra Credit is always available and he hasn't even asked about it. It is truly a case of the kid not wanting to do anything and the coach not wanting to have egg on his face and the coach also wanting to be able to play the kid in sports so he looks good as a coach.

Posted by dumber than a catbox full of sh*t on 10/27/2007:
It's called lazy and most teens these days are--they have the entitlement thing going. Here's a new one this year that I have never seen before: kids think that if they were absent on a day in which, for example, a certain short story was covered in class, that when it comes to test time, they are exempt from those test questions. So the idea of making up work you missed when you were absent is completely unreasonable to them.

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Queenie: Sucking all the Joy Out of the Workplace Written by labtech on 10/19/2007Ah, another wonderful coworker who is just a friggin ray of sunshine to deal with....

First off, she's pregnant - but she was a real joy to be around before that. So she won't do certain tasks, and our marshmallow boss allows that - so you-know-who has to pick up the slack. The QUEEN rules.

Second, whatever equipment she happens to be using is HER PERSONAL EQUIPMENT and you must ask her permission to use it when you need to use it. 6 people need to use one pH meter, but we have to ASK the QUEEN if we may use it. Anyone else doesn't care, just walk up and use the meter.

Third, she's a suckup - and only to the people she thinks will benefit her (the bosses and one labtech who has a lot of experience). Anyone else is automatically disregarded as unimportant; that means she doesn't even offer the courtesy of a "good morning" or "goodbye" at the end of the day even if she is personally addressed by one of us peasants ! The QUEEN does not speak to peasants.

Fourth, she's a rat. She has decided I'm her enemy, and has gone and told the boss about every little mistake she thinks I've made, and that I have a "problem" with her. I didn't until she pulled that BS ! Why even yesterday I corrected a mistake she made in one of the logbooks - didn't bother to waste the breath to tell her, because I knew Satan would be wearing iceskates the day she thanks me for anything. The QUEEN is in CHARGE.

Fifth, It was amazing that my coworkers feel the same way about our resident B---- from Hell. When she demanded that a coworker swap out a major holiday in her favor, because he wanted a regular day of work swapped for one of hers - no one would be making overtime money either - she showed her true colors. THE QUEEN is MORE IMPORTANT.

Oh, we can't wait til she has the baby and is our of our hair for a few months - she's even nastier now that she's pregnant (though only to the ones she's not sucking up to). For now, I ignore her when I can, and try to make it painfully obvious how nasty she is to me, and others, when I can.
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Posted by ResearchScientist on 10/19/2007:
Labtech, There is at least two of those types for every large lab. We have two Queen bees here, well one is middle manager Bee and the other is the Queen. If one of them gets a paper cut we all have to observe a moment of silence. Get over it! For example, a coworker was sick and having terrible migraine headaches and we were discussing the possible causes, Queen bee comes in and overhears the conversation and does not comment on the coworkers condition or offer condolences or even offer any support, but instead turns the conversation to her poor health and her allergies, blah blah. Take an Allegra and get over it. I think I even rolled my eyes at her. I hate this woman. I have very good reasons to dislike her. She is an evil c^nt and that is being nice. When she was pregnant it was like no one had ever reproduced before her and she was the first one on the planet to actually get pregnant. If you should happen to get on the wrong side of this evil women, you will be the target of her little hate campaign. She tries to slander you to anyone who will listen, she starts with coworkers first and then to anyone else who will lend a sympathetic ear to her. Drama queen! I do not know how to deal with these women. I just want to do my work and enjoy my short time here on this earth. I do not know why these women do what they do or what they expect from the rest of us. Worship??!! I guess I could just say that you are not alone with having to deal with types of people. You suffer, but not alone! Hang in there!

Posted by felisdraconius on 10/19/2007:
Well, if she behaves like a queen, and you and everyone else feel that way; it can only mean one thing. It is time to do to her what many others have done in the past. OFF WITH HER HEAD! Not literally of course. You could grind teeth and bare it, but I think may be you should "revolt" in small ways, just to let her know what you and your other coworkers feel about her, then she takes her leave. Maybe when she comes back she'll be better. And if not, at least you can say you stood your ground and you feel better for it.

Posted by labtech on 10/19/2007:
Yep, ResearchScientist, it's the same here; two Queens, no waiting, one is a middle management and the other is our pregnant gold-plated-B-on-wheels. When both of them are gone for the day - it's just so nice to work there, it's just a happy place. The transformation is amazing to behold. Well, everyone....What to do...well, the last day I'll ever do anything to help her out has been and gone, that's for sure. I spent an hour today doing HER work, the work she was too lazy to do - and left it for me, knowing I would be blamed for it not being done. I AM the target of her hate campaign - I'm just waiting for the right witnesses so I can ask her what's wrong, apologize for any misunderstanding or hurt feelings, and enthusiastically ask what I can do to make things better and help her ! So at least someone will witness that there is ANOTHER side to the story - of what lies Queenie tells them. She's going to try to move up the ladder, too, I can see that, and she'll probably get it, as she's smooching up the middle manager Queen and the Boss as much as possible. I'm working on my MS to get the Heck out of there as fast as I can, because it's bad enough now - working for this evil B will be Hell on Earth. I'd take a 10K cut in pay right now to get out of there. Do not mention KARMA to me. I have seen all too many horribly nasty people sail on merrily through life, and the nice people getting bashed by bad luck. I think what I have to do is start my own schmooze campaign - and get out of there as quick as I can. Sure thing too - next time she leaves work behind, I'll tell the boss - and show him. Time she was seen for what she really is, a nasty, lazy, vicious B.

Posted by ResearchScientist on 10/22/2007:
LabTech, I too have seen the nice people get trampled and beat, pooped on and forgotten. I too have witnessed the evil people getting good things and positive outcomes, but never what they deserve. I have never seen Karma do it's job! I am so sick of it! Good Luck in getting your masters Degree hopefully it will pay for itself! I wish you the best! I am changing careers completely. I can make more money in Law Enforcement than I can in Science and I do not wish to work for an evil pharma. company that tries to get people to take drugs for natural everyday occurrences. "Do you have the urge to urinate? Well we have drug for you! Side effects are nausea, headaches and sudden death" Merck is from Hell, a big drug pusher!

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He NEVER shuts up! Written by PRINCESS on 10/12/2007I work in the Engineering department of a manufacturing plant.
There is one employee who drives everyone nuts.
The two REALLY annoying things he does are:

1. This guy is a friggin' expert on everything. He has done it all! He's been in everything from property maintenance to working in a bank. You got a problem, he;s got a solution (none of which work)

2. This is the MOST annoying thing, when employees are talking amongest themselves (whether it is business OR pesonal) or on the phone (Business OR personal) he will stand right out of earshot and listen. He will act like he is reading what he just picked off the printer, but is actually listening... then when he finds an opportunity, he will join in, referring to things in the conversation that he would not have known if he had not been listening.

Nobody likes him and he just doesn;t fit in.

Everyone else in the office gets along great!

He keeps commenting that he could get a job anywhere... we ALL wish he would.

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Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 10/12/2007:
If he says he can get a job anywhere, maybe you should suggest that to him! Just kidding! Wow, this guy sounds like a major head case. Dollars to donuts he doesn't have any friends and doesn't get much social contact outside of work. Does he live alone? With an annoying relative? Not that I'm trying to excuse the behavior, but people like that usually aren't socially acclimated for a reason. Not to totally identify with this guy, but I used to be that annoying. I didn't eavesdrop, but in one of my last jobs, I sat in an isolated reception area all ALONE. This made me crazy. I would corner people and talk their ears off! One poor guy I had backed into the wall, telling him some story. It didn't occur to me until his back hit the wall that I was being the biggest dork in the world, and probably very annoying. YES, that was ME! However, I got a CLUE. If your annoying dude can't get a clue, perhaps you ought to mention to him that it's rude to eavesdrop, and that if you need advice from him, you'll ASK for it. Sometimes being straightforward helps. I don't think this kind of thing falls into the realm that your manager might govern, so I don't think it would help to mention it to them....

Posted by dumber than a catbox full of sh*t on 10/12/2007:
People who know everything about everything suffer from what I call Bob Villa Syndrome--yes that t.v. fix-it guy, Bob Villa. Didn't you ever notice that he always know more about brick-laying than the bricklayer or plumbing more than the plumber? I agree with HaveADamn--the guy has no outside life. Is there anything even remotely redeeming about him? It sounds as if he is trying to be a part of the group but just does it in a bad way. You could, when he is around eavesdropping while you are having a personal phone conversation say something to the person on the phone like, "Hey, can't talk now, Big Ears is around." Maybe you could try to include him--maybe he does have something valuable to contribute--maybe being a Bob Villa he can help you with something. When I have to deal with Bob Villa's I bring-up a subject they can't possibly know more about than I do--even if my example is about pregnancy, childbirth or other female issues:) This usually settles them down.

Posted by CK on 10/13/2007:
And if the guy is hanging around overhearing your phone conversations then you could be real nasty and fake a serious conversation on the phone. Something that would be REAL serious and ... well real bad. Just enough to MAKE him think the worse but yet not have the full (fake) story. As an example say something that you would have to hire a cleaner to get all that blood out. Ask if they can get it all out of the carpets and curtains, etc. Act like you are repeating the conversation by asking questions ... "You say the blood is all over?" "Did anyone see you?" "Do you know who it is?" "Did you call the ambulance?" ... You get the idea. And if someone asked what's going on (about the blood and everything) then you can reply "So-n-so cut himself shaving this morning. What are YOU talking about?"

Posted by anonymous on 10/13/2007:
Have another independent person assess this situation. Be certain you and your office compadres are not playing office bully.

Posted by Bookwoman on 10/13/2007:
I think HaveADamn is on the right track. He doesn't have a clue. So DO be straight with him. Completely direct. As in: "When you eavesdrop, and then invite yourself into a conversation by referring to what you have overheard, it's rude/irritating/creepy. Please don't do that anymore. It puts people off. If you would like to be part of a conversation, this is absolutely the wrong way to join in." Then just look at him like you've just asked a question and are waiting for the answer. People react when you call them on their words or behaviour. For some reason, most people seem to tend to believe that how they talk is like camouflage for their actions, and that no one notices when their words are diametrically opposite to their actions (this is most common in kids, and is very juvenile behaviour. Which tells you this guy's emotional maturity is stunted). Since he hasn't gotten a clue yet, he's not going to get it from you; he truly is "clueless" in that he doesn't know how to use clues. That's why you have to be completely direct with these types of people. It won't turn them into socially acceptable beings overnight, but will actually help them on the right path. It will also tend to make someone like this comfortable around you, because you are direct and it's the social games that totally defeat them. So - beware. You could end up making a "friend."

Posted by PRINCESS on 10/23/2007:
Update.... So, late last week, the Vice President of Sales comes to my desk. We were talking about a personal office issue. Mr, "Eavesdropper" walks up and stands almost next to the Vice President. We continue to talk and it it obvious that we are talking personally and that Mr. Eavesdropper is not invited into the conversation. Mr. Eavesropper stood there for about 30 seconds, just listening with no intent on leaving. I had had it. I glanced over at him and said in a calm, professional voice: "_____, this is a personal conversation." He was floored. And walked away like a dog with his tail between his legs. He hasn't been by my desk since! YAY!

Posted by Bookwoman on 10/24/2007:
It really makes you wonder about people... Good for you!! Glad for the update!!

Posted by ResearchScientist on 10/25/2007:
It is nice to see that you found your spine and tactfully told him that your conversation was private! Good for you, hopefully you will never find yourself his position or your position again.

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Help Us Get Rid Of Her Written by DESPERATE! on 10/12/2007Upon hiring her she immediately schluffed off half her duties and because the position's paperwork was behind, we chipped in and took some of the load. Well she never picked any of that load back up and its been a year. She is bossy, arrogant and manipulating. She is ugly to customers, other departments and co-workers. She has the bosses wrapped around her little finger for why I cannot say. She is very good at the small amount of work that she does but somehow has managed to set her own hours (6am to 3pm) and squeezes in lots of overtime doing nothing. And has taken at least 6 vacations in the last year. And still manages to get extra raises from the boss. (She looks like grampa munster so 'good looks' is not one of her tools.

None of us wants to get along with her we just want to get rid of her! How can we nonchalantly persuade her to quit? Anybody have any ideas?? Help!!!!!
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Posted by dumber than a catbox full of sh*t on 10/12/2007:
You say none of you want to get along with her--does that mean that you are polite,civil,professional=you get along with her? If this is the case, have you collectively tried the cold shoulder routine? The we are close and you don't fit in routine that will make her feel isolated? The we are all going out after work but didn't invite you routine? Alienation makes people want to leave in most cases. If you have alienated her to a high level and she doesn't respond by being a better team player or quitting, that would be pretty weird.

Posted by dumber than a catbox full of sh*t on 10/12/2007:
You could send her a copy of this post and all the comments....anonymously.

Posted by CK on 10/13/2007:
Just stop taking on her work! It's her work let her do it! If she asks explain to her that you have your own work to do and you're unable to help! Just look overwelmed around her by all that work YOU have to do. Hopefully she will get the hint that you are not going to do her work as well. The more people who do this the better - otherwise someone else will take up that slack and will negate the whole thing. If EVERYONE is busy she will get the hint!

Posted by labtech on 10/14/2007:
Stop doing her work. When it doesn't get done, make sure everyone knows it. We had one like this - the diva who didn't want to do anything, and she'd cry she needed help every day. Finally we stopped helping her, and surprise surprise, she COULD do the work, if she HAD to. Why work hard when someone else will do it for you ?

Posted by HIUTH on 10/22/2007:

Posted by the confessor on 10/24/2007:
This is a common female retail and office worker strategy. It creates a de facto promotion and pay raise without one actually being put in place. Hey, less work for the same pay?...sign me up!! You need to collectively stop doing her work. Count on an angry scene if she feels forced to do her own work again. We had one sales rep that we had carried for a year. When we stopped, she literally claimed we were all out to get her, that we had terrorized her clients, you name it. She abruptly left. The biggest question was why we had covered her for so long!

Posted by the confessor on 10/24/2007:
PS...just so you don't think I'm sexist, guys do this sort of thing too. However, since they're tribal, they tend to do it as a group. One hotel I worked at had two or three key maintenance guys that would treat a work order as a cue NOT to do it. They gave themselves a promotion by deciding when and how they would do the required work. When the resort changed hands, all three were dismissed, one having been there nearly 30 years.

Posted by labtech on 10/25/2007:
HA ! We have a bunch of guys who do basic repairs, who don't do any work all week, so that they can come in on the weekend on overtime to do the job. They suck an amazing amount of money out of the company. MY boss, however, acts like he's bleeding the pennies out of his own arm when something comes up that MIGHT require we don't get any overtime. We just get yelled at for not getting work done, even if half the employees are out sick with the Deathly Flu.

Posted by DESPERATE! on 12/10/2007:
UPDATE!! She is still here!!!! But... we did manage to locate some fart spray and although it hasnt managed to chase her away (yet) it sure feels great to douse her stuff hehe!!!

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Alpha B!tch Written by HaveADamnNiceDay on 10/05/2007Hi guys. I thought I'd wait a while to share this story simply because I thought it would be prudent to wait and let things unfold for the most part. At my job there is this girl who was hired a couple of months after I was, who was taking the place of another girl who was leaving to move to bigger and better things. I liked that girl too. She was nice.

Shortly after she left, the diva who sat next to me (love her too!) moved on to bigger and better things/pay. This diva girl kept everything real and never let anyone's ego get out of hand. She kept the place humble. Man do I miss her.

The girl who was hired not long after me ended up doing diva girl's job too. Not even a week after the wonderful diva left, another girl in our office, we'll call her Miss Priss, started trying to take on the social role of the diva girl. Needless to say, this was awkward and annoying. New girl started to bitch and complain constantly about how everyone was dumping work on her, and she never stopped having tirades about how Miss Priss girl annoyed her and "plucked her nerves". It became war between the two of them for about two months. I had to listen to them both snipe about each other to ME of all people, and about how every little thing about the other person annoyed the crap out of them. I did the wise thing and just ate my food/did my work and nodded and never said anything incriminating to one about the other. I didn't want to get caught up in it. I hate drama.
So does my boss.

Finally I couldn't take anymore of their grousing and complaining and complained to my boss... a couple of times. Now, I love my boss. She's fantastic, friendly, smart, fast, and doesn't skimp on compliments.... but she is NOT confrontational. Her one weakness. However, good sense prevailed, and finally she sat the two of them down and told them to knock it off. Miss priss ran off and left work for an hour crying while New Girl (alpha bitch) came back to her desk laughing and carrying on. I've learned over time this is her way of coping with being in trouble.

This happened maybe one or two more times. After that they were friends. I'm all for happy endings, but I liked it better when they hated each other, because I was left out of it for the most part.

Miss priss has accepted Alpha bitch as the lead female in our department, and they go around and talk smack about everyone in the office now. Alpha bitch liked to watch me work and make nasty comments when our boss was out of the room about my "apparent lack of motivation". She even said to me one day, "You really look so unmotivated. I don't know why you even bother."

Naturally, this made me mad, because workwise, we have nothing to do with each other. I tolerated this for a couple of days and then Alpha Bitch got openly nasty with me. She had asked me when I was taking lunch. I told her I would take lunch when I was hungry (read: It's none of your damn business, never was.). Of course, I used a polite tone (I was having a very hard time being nice by this point). Of course, she felt that I was being nasty to her, and gave me a hard time about it and got openly hostile. Sooooo, naturally, I wrote my boss. I never got an answer back, but after that email, Alpha bitch curbed her behavior for a few days. I was happy about it, and thanked the boss, but the DAY I wrote that email, Alpha bitch got an ATTITUDE WITH THE COMPANY PRESIDENT....and told him NO when he asked her to do something, and repeated herself every time he politely urged her to comply.

So, he left it alone until our boss came back from an errand, and grabbed her and the bitch and took them back to his office. We didn't see them for TWO HOURS. The rest of us thought for sure she was getting fired. Unfortunately, no, she did not. However, we all know she's skating on thin ice. What's really bad is that she's being very stupid about what she's doing. She has three young kids and a husband who can't work. She's the breadwinner of her family, and for some reason she isn't willing to break that giant chip off her shoulder. It's going to hurt her family. While I do care what happens to her family, I would love it if she either found another job and left, or was simply fired outright. She's certainly gathering enough rope together.....
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Posted by dumber than a catbox full of sh*t on 10/05/2007:
If she is too stupid to see that even with a disabled husband and kids that it is not all about her--screw her. Don't even play the pity card for her. She's over 18 and old enough to go to Iraq and Afghanistan, drink, smoke, vote and marry. Don't go soft (i.e. don't trust her). Some people need a big wake-up call--for those who need a big wake-up call it is called prison. I once said to someone, "Gee, that chip on your shoulder is so heavy it is weighing you down so that you can't even see if anything good is coming toward you."

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 10/06/2007:
Stupidity is natures way of doing natural selection in humans. Eventually nature will take it's course...

Posted by twiz on 10/06/2007:
It is great that you stood up to her... and let your boss know about it. If you let folks like this get away with their bullying... they will keep it up... Though I sympathize with her situation... she has no right to treat anyone like she is doing... and if she gets let go... perhaps it is a hard lesson learned for her... and long over due sounds like.

Posted by the confessor on 10/06/2007:

Posted by anonymous on 10/06/2007:
If she survived the meeting she is a true Alpha Bi+ch and not just an inexperienced hack who was queen in high school. Ugh. Don't feel sorry for her or her family. They will survive just fine. The one example resembling the above cited specimen was transfered into a full time job.That was the reward for all the upheaval she caused. As soon as she passes probation and became permanent she divorced her husband. Both her daughters became pregnant teenagers. _-Karma is a bi+ch and a Bastard-_

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 11/07/2007:
Hey Anonymous--- She never finished High School. This she told me while she was fighting with Miss Priss. She said she lied on her application. Why would she do something stupid like that?

Posted by anonymous on 11/07/2007:
Several possibilities. She wanted you to agree that you had done the same, using it as ammunition against you. She is trying to confuse you, making you look bad if you should mention it. Is making you a co conspirator. If she is discovered she will turn around and mention that she told HaveADamnNiceDay all about it and you both get fired. Or you get fired for not letting HR know. She passed a High school Equivalence Test. Did she mention college on her application too? I heard wierd comments like this several times in the workplace. The person(s) wanted information or cause confusion.

Posted by anonymous on 11/07/2007:
After reading your last installment I can only conclude she thinks she is invincible.

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 11/08/2007:
She is either stupid enough to think she's invincible, or she's trying to convince people she is. I never thought she would try to get ME to admit to something like that. When she told me, I asked if she got a GED or did anything to finish school, and she said no. To top it all off, she DID say she had an AA in business admin. I'm very confused about that one because I KNOW at least ONE of those statements is false. You can't get any certifications or degrees without completing high school and getting a diploma of some kind, unless she bought it and she has no education past the tenth grade period. What's worse is that she poured out her "horrible past" to me, and some of it I do believe, as there isn't a reason not to (like her having an arrest record). If someone tells me something in confidence, I keep it to myself. I don't @#$% where I eat. I don't want to be talked about all that much, and I don't want to be called a gossip or a big mouth. Besides: If she only told me, it could be tracked right to me and she'd have an excuse to harass me. I don't do drama, and she's royalty in the drama family. Besides, it's widely known at work she's a dramatic liar. Even if she did try to get me in trouble with something like that (and this is real mean), I could simply deny the conversation ever took place. Besides, even if I was asked, it really isn't my business, and I'm not a tattle-tale. I've got more important things on my mind.... Like what's for dinner.

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Safety First...What-The Hell-Ever Written by lowered expectations on 09/30/2007I work in a factory that is rather well known by practically every one who has a cold or wipes their butts, hopefully.

My crew is finally on our last week, fittingly called HELL WEEK. Thursday is the last day of this work week and we have our site meeting and then we have our crew meeting afterward. Well the site meeting is totally boring, United Way kickoff, put in your Force Ideas..yada yada yada. The meeting lasted two hours and I hadn't had my first cigarette since I'd started work at 6:00 that morning, Four hours and thirty minutes. I know the non-smokers are going so, well our crew meeting is up next and all it is is a glorified bitch session that can last another two and a half hours. You'd either smoke or become a flaming alcoholic listening to some of the things that these twenty-two people whine about. Anyway, the meeting starts in sections. Safety first, that's me I'm the crew safety leader.

After the site meeting I had a major nicotine fit and sucked down one, not two, cigarettes. This is the norm for any of the smokers and then we head in for the meeting. Everyone knows this will happen, is going to happen no if's-and's-or but's about it end of discussion. Add it up, you're literally talking up to six hours without one.

I'm almost up the hall when I hear my name being paged over the intercom. I was looking right at the chick that paged me through the double doors across the hallway. I HATE TO BE PAGED over that damn intercom because the resources love to find out where the hell you were when they smoke and they know damn good and well where you were.

I walked in and the whole room is quiet, this isn't normal for this bunch. Usually it's like a room full of loud little kids and the meeting will have to literally be called to order, firmly. Not this time.
I sit down at the only open chair which puts me with my back almost to all of them.

Safety first so we have STOP training and we're supposed to go over part 3, answer the questions and turn them in to the site safety coordinator. I also had some information to relay to everyone about the crane training that everyone is required to have finished by November or they get to explain to the plant manager himself why they didn't have me do their training.

Our crew coach asks if I have anything for safety and I looked at my coworker who paged me, now truly I was not going to make them do this, and told them they would be reading all of section three. She said no, I said oh yeah, she said no again. The crew coach looks at me rolls his eyes and announces that we are now discussing quality issues. Most people would probably say I should have just gone on but I have read these things to them for the past two years. I would let them take these out and read them in their work areas but I know they would look through the booklet just enough to fill out the questions so they can get the free product. I hate treating adults like children because I don't like being treated that way either. I looked at my co-worker sitting across from me with an amazed look on my face. One of our resources who puts something about safety in every e-mail he sends out didn't say a word about going back to the safety part of our meeting.

I'm not overly aggressive so I sat there listening as they moved on to people development. I work in the Shipping dept and it's treated like the red-headed step-child at a family reunion. This department is not even discussed in our crew meetings. Knowing my part was done and nobody would say anything good or bad about us getting the product out the door, which pads those incentive checks a little more, I picked up my training materials and left the meeting. I relieved my relief and started loading my trailers. Later that day our team leader asked the co-worker I was sitting with about the "problem" I had in the meeting. My co-worker stuck up for me and told her that I asked for a reading volunteer and the meeting went out of control and safety got skipped.

I don't push the safety like some do, but I do believe in trying to help my co-workers, as well as myself, leave the site in the same condition they walked in. The hard core bitchin about safety belongs to our site safety "goddess" coordinator.

I believe the plant manager better get his crane training verbal spank speech prepared. He's going to be really busy with my group in November.

I feel much better by getting my vent on, thanks.
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Help Me Please!!! Written by FIGFACE on 09/25/2007I hate my co-worker for the following reasons:

1. Constantly reminds us that she made more money at her last job, which was much more demanding. Refuses to do certain tasks because she feels she "won't learn anything from it."

2. Doesn't answer the phone. Doesn't know the answer when forced to answer the phone.

3. Eats lunch at her desk b/c she's so busy..strange consider her self-proclaimed expertise.

4. Chants and pounds papers all day and is an all-around freak.
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Posted by CK on 09/25/2007:
If her last job was so great and she was paid more then why did she leave??? There are too many red flags in this case.

Posted by Interesting on 09/25/2007:
Do you work in my department too? I could swear you're talking about a co-worker of mine. The only difference is she constantly says, "I'm so ready to leave this place, but the company would be lost without me." I just want to tell her we're all behind her if she wants to test that theory...

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 09/25/2007:
She doesn't claim she can speak different languages does she? :) What you have here is someone who had learned to do the least amount of work possible and still get paid. I will bet you she knows the HR policies very well and knows how NOT to get fired and will use every loophole possible to hang on. Chants while pounding paper? She sounds a little deranged. I am betting you are stuck with her until the boss gets involved. I am with CK, why did she leave her last job? I bet if you check her last employer she was probably kicked out, find out how they did it!

Posted by dumber than a catbox full of sh*t on 09/25/2007:
Or if she wasn't forced out--find out what sent her over the edge and repeat.

Posted by CK on 09/25/2007:
Wash, rinse, and repeat ... LOL!!! If you were to find out where she worked the bosses most likely will not say anything but confirm she did work there. To get the REAL scoop you'd have to ask her co-workers. Then you wash, rinse, and repeat! And if she is all that great (legend in her own mind) then ask her what's keeping her for leaving?

Posted by the confessor on 09/27/2007:
Sounds to me like a guy that constantly talks about all the girls he's getting down with...the more he brags, the less he's telling the truth!

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I Got Snapped At By A Receptionist Written by Calmest person on 09/14/2007Lately I learned that personal business is no place for a work place. I'm a very friendly person, and get along with everyone, but considering that I'm the youngest person in this office, it seems like there are haters here.

I got really close to the receptionist, but last week it turns out that she gave me attitude for being away from my desk longer than I should. So from there I kept it quiet. Not talking to anyone. So today, it's her birthday, and I just left it be, didn't say noting, but she asked me to talk. So we talked. And she started off cool, and then raised her voice on me. Insulting me left and right, bringing up my son saying that I should be more mature. She called me a back stabber, ignorant, and even threaten me to show my email to management. And going from there saying that we're at the same level.. Of which I'm not an assistant to no one but purchasing.. Anyway, she kept saying that no one here would talk to me cause of how I am and such, but for me I don't care much. I'm just here to work and go home. Nothing more.
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Posted by CK on 09/15/2007:
Sounds like she has a problem and not you! Just sit back and let things cool...

Posted by Calmest Person on 09/17/2007:
Thanks, I'm going to keep it as professional as much as possible. But it is quite difficult if she isn't. She's very bias, and does not do her work, esp if she dislikes the person. ex. she will not hand that person their mail and will have someone else do it for her.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 09/18/2007:
Let me get this straight, the RECEPTIONIST got on you for being away from your desk? Is the receptionist your boss? It sounds as if this person is on a power trip and will only be your friend if you submit to her 'authority' which means she gets to control your life and has full right to comment on all aspects of your personal life but you cannot do the same! Find another friend, and be kind but don't get close to...the receptionist. If she starts berating you, just say "Thanks!" and then continue on with your business. How in the world could the receptionist threaten you with your emails? Is she spying on you? This is outrageous! Stand up for your rights! Don't take this crap!

Posted by HaveADamnNiceDay on 09/19/2007:
I've been dying to comment on this since I AM a receptionist. I can tell you that it's wrong for her to get crusty about you stepping away from her desk. While I can understand the frustration, for I have looked for many an absent body much to the caller's chagrin. They'll badger me and say, "Why isn't so-and-so at their desk??? Does anyone there actually WORK????" I really want to say "Buzz off they're in the crappper can they have a moment???" But instead, I say, "I'm sorry, I guess you guys keep missing each other, " and offer them voicemail. Now, if she is just harassing you verbally like that, she has a serious problem. I've met people like this and they fall under the category of psychotic, usually with an inferiority complex. I have worked with such cremudgeons, and they like to pick apart my work and everything else I do. Yes, these types are haters too. If you have something good in your life they will hate you for it. If you're thin and attractive, they'll hate you. If you have a special talent, they will hate you. If you are well-liked and competent at work, they will DEFINITELY hate you!!!! It's all the pattern of the bully. Even if you are virtually perfect, they will find something about you to pick at or exploit. Ask Confessor!!!! Confessor knows all about this!!!

Posted by dontask 0 on 09/19/2007:
This worked at least temporarily for a work friend of mine. She literally bought good will offering extra bathroom break relief, trinkets, candy, food, flowers, whatever and etc and-- gentle talk, complements, greeting cards and smiles. It worked she moved to another department soon after. Can't keep it up for long, because the presents have to get more extravagant as time drags on in the office. Is it bribery or manipulations, does it turn the other person into a blackmailer? Sure but it will do as a stopgap measure when all else fails. Only recommended for short stretches when playing for time. More power to people who can do this, I don't have the emotional energy to keep at it.

Posted by Calmest Person on 09/20/2007:
Thank you guys, for you comment, yah it was pretty much that she went off because I didnt not like her comment the week prior, so I just laid low, and did not say noting to her. It was extremely wrong for her to insult me and try to talk down to me. ALot of people tell me that she is crazy, and that to be ware of her mood swings. Had a ex co worker tell me that the time he was working her (4yrs) she was off crying in the washroom or office 50x's or more. So pretty much she has issues, and where I sit, I have to see her. I know that she should be more professional about me using the washroom or taking a cig. break, but what really gets me is how she can go off on me, just because I didnt say happy birthday to her. So now I already confide in HR and have it written down of what happen, and just staying away. I dont need to talk to her, so I'm just letting it be.

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The cold shoulder Written by finn989 on 09/09/2007I have been working at a small company for almost 6 months now. I'm in a room with one other person and can't be moved to another part of the building. This person, (I'll call her Mary). Has treated me cool, indifferent and ignored me since I started working.

She is extremely friendly and helpful with everyone else that I work with. And her personality changes when someone else comes into the room. As in she becomes friendly and acts helpful if I have a problem It is really driving me nuts and stressing me out.

My supervisor even asked me what the problem was since she has noticed the tension. I told her I didn't know. And I don't know! I now find myself dreading to go to work and wanting the day to be over. You feel this way when you sit in total silence and your co-worker sits with her back to you most of the day. I know it's nothing I've said or done and everyone else seems to like me fine.

I have just come to the conclusion that she finds me as a threat somehow and hopes I will quit which I can't at the moment. And don't feel like I should have to just because one person is acting like a jerk towards me.
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Posted by career observer on 09/09/2007:
Have you tried humor in any way?

Posted by CK on 09/09/2007:
I have started reading a book called "The Platunum Rule" - you may want to do the same. The jist of book is from the Golden Rule "Treat others the way you want to be treated." But the issue may be that THEY DON'T want to be treated the way YOU would like but rather "Treat others the way THEY want to to treated." It goes over four basic personality types, how they think/react, and how they like to be treated. That is about all I can tell you at this point because I have just started the book. Hope this helps!

Posted by labtech on 09/10/2007:
You're pretty much stuck with it. Learn to enjoy the silence - and just be happy the other person doesn't insist on tuning in an annoying radio station, too. Maybe invest in some headphones and listen to some good music. But most of all, be happy or at least appear to be happy - and don't let the stone cold silence affect you - it's THEIR problem, not yours. Some people just decide they don't like you, for whatever reason, and you can't change that.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 09/10/2007:
So you are ONE room with one other person? Off hand I would say this other person was used to her own room and thought of it like her office and is now upset that she has to share it. I was going to suggest humor also, the easiest way to break the ice is to find some of those ridiculous glasses with the fake mustache on them and put them on when she isn't looking and continue working as if everything is perfectly normal. See if she laughs...

Posted by Trucker452 on 09/10/2007:
Does your company have a high turn around rate of hiring and firing? Maybe this individual isn't as bad as you may think! She may just have something against new hires because she see's them come and go alot! My advice try to get to know her outside of the office, then make a judgement call on whether or not she is just a total bitch!

Posted by finn989 on 09/10/2007:
In response to Trucker452. This person has been at this company just over a year. I pretty much invited her out for drinks. She didn't seem to be interested.

Posted by CK on 09/10/2007:
Have you talked to co-workers? Like someone said ... maybe she thought it was HER office. Whe I say talk to yur co-workers I don't mean to make a complaint about your office-mate but rather have a general open conversation. But just to let you know ... I had a run-in with one of my co-workers and she turned into a total "B" ... I ended up filing a complaint against her. To this day (6 months later) she still avoids me and won't say 'boo' to me. Where I am stationed now she has made a few visits. She ignores me like I wasn't even in the room! My current Super had run-ins with her as well. He finally told her that he gives up ... he said that there is NO satisfying her no matter what. Also keep in mind that there are some people who are just like that ... no matter what you do they will NOT be happy.

Posted by finn989 on 09/10/2007:
Ck, I think you are right. Some people just suck.

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Backstabber payback Written by CK on 09/05/2007Well one our many backstabbers got me ... I was notified that I am being transferred again. Actually I think he did me a favor! It is a place where I like. :-b

But this individual backstabbed a friend of mine (contractor) and succeeded in getting her fired (for the promise of being hired as an employee (that didn't pan out). To understand how low this person is, my friend is widowed and has two handicapped childern living at home. Now how low can you go?!?!

But any way ... this person sometimes spends time on the company computer watching videos, clips, etc. To top that I know that Security is monitoring 'certain' people (I'm sure he isn't on the 'list'). So I thought that I'd pass this info along to another friend at work. This friend knows a high-powered person where this individual is stationed. This high-powered person will in turn call Security for an investigation ...

And considering that we are under budget cuts and they are looking to let some people go ... I may have helped in this task! It would also help someone who was given notice that their position was to be terminated ... I am hoing this won't happen - he's got three kids to support and the backstabber doesn't! As a matter of opinion, this backstabber thinks he's God's gift to women and that women not only like but NEED to be pushed and ordered about to serve his whim.

When people stab you in the back you had better watch out because you may get stabbed in the process!
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Can't Flush a Toilet Written by you're over on 09/04/2007This slob of a co-worker is the only one besides myself that works at the same time as me. On a daily basis slob never flushes the toilet (truly sickening), dumps the stinky remnants of slobbo lunch settling in the sink (as a bonus today slobbo left the sink faucet on to the point of overflowing), does not turn off microwave (leaves timer on..lets it run with nothing in it). Maybe slobbo blames it on me who knows? I just don't understand how anyone can be so incredibly piggish and ignorant. How hard is it to FLUSH?Read 4 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by twiz on 09/04/2007:
Disgusting. I believe their are some folks who just want to get their sick little kicks from work... I've seen other gross things in the bathroom... wiping stuff on walls... just stupid stuff. When someone thinks no one is watching... they're real character will come out...

Posted by you're over on 09/04/2007:
oh slobbos character is about the same as the hygiene habits...another story for another time....and it was 98 degrees in here when I walked in today how pleasant.

Posted by Icky on 09/04/2007:
The lovely ladies here at work don't know how to hit the inside of the toilet. We have seat covers here too. I just don't understand... It's HARDER to hit the rim than it is to hit the LARGE HOLE!

Posted by CK on 09/04/2007:
Sounds like your 'buddy' is PROUD of his work and only wants to share his pride! Next time this happens just walk up to him and say "WOW!!! That was a BIG one you left behind in the toilet! You must feel SO proud! Was it painful for you?" And make sure everyone hears you! Tell him that you are SO proud that he left his work for ALL to appriciate!

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birthday parties Written by canary on 09/01/2007My team has a team leader who sends out email to everyone (outer circle) announcing birthday events a day before it happen, yet neglecting time of day as to when they'll gather and cut the cake. Just to show that they have invited everyone on the team. So the team leader's birthday happen. The inner circle gathered their money and got him a gift. Then they called their inner circle together and celebrate behind locked and closed door. When the party ends, they send people out to fetch the outer circle people to join. Subsequent birthday party happened, they continue to celebrate among themselves with announcement through email. However, the new boss this time told them cut a slice of the cake and pass them out to outer circle. These people occasionaly receive a slice of the cake and yet don't even know whose birthday it is for. That must hurt, because they want to celebrate among themselves and now they have to give away their cake. Furthermore, the new boss have the outer circle cover for their two-hour lunch because they took each other out to steakhouse to celebrate. How is that for team building effort or improving moral in the office? Don't people feel insulted for not being invited, not included in gift for boss, cover work for their private party, and drop a slice of leftover cake? However, when others have events they all come out and build their plates, leave with one plate in each hand.Read 3 Replies   |   Add a Reply
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Posted by CK on 09/01/2007:
Sounds like they are passive-agressive in nature. I know how you feel. I worked with a woman that is they way. And now that I don't work that B. Anyway, why not get the 'outer circle' have their own parties, leaving the clique out of the events. Surely there are ways to 'play' the same game if that is how they want it. I hate to say what I just did. And I'd almost bet that this 'outer circle' are the ones who do most of the work as well. Am I right? Did you know that you can have Outlook to schedule a send at a later date/time? If you set the date and time to be just before the 'event' to the 'inter-circle' when the 'event' is across town and would be too late for them to show up! In this way you can say that an e-mail WAS sent to everyone! ... Maybe they would know how the other half feels .... naw!

Posted by career observer on 09/02/2007:
CK--that's what I was going to say as well--I think the outer circle should go out and have a rip-roarin' good time. But they should do it while the Inner circle is having their bash. When the inner circle hears how much fun the outer circle had, the outer circle can say they were going to invite the inner circle but the inner circle was already having a bash and because the inner circle waited until the last minute to invite the outer circle, the outer circle c ouldn't come so they had their own.

Posted by canary on 09/10/2007:
CK, you r right about the extra work part. I also know how to set Outlook to mail a later date. However, I don't want to lower to their level, use their own game back at them. I mentioned this to a boss to the effect that if a group is excluding other member of a team, it constitute "bully", this can lead to "harrassment". Last Thursday, I was personally invited to the one of their clique's belated 3-weeks birthday in-person by the team leader. She came out and opened the door for me and everything. Hum... The boss and everyone one the team was invited. Hum... I noticed a new attitude of nice but cautious when they come face to face. They used to neglect to cover for me. Last week, they showed up on time??? Others in building also noticed the selfish behavior, they hang up flyers everywhere and pass envelopes around for contribution on luncheons so that everyone have a chance to participate, I join these parties every time. Petty it is. Only happen when you got so much estrogen working together.

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Go Manage Your Project WITHOUT Meetings Every Five Minutes! Written by sick of it on 08/29/2007Can someone please tell me why "project managers" insist on calling useless time-wasting meetings when everyone involved KNOWS there are no frickin updates!?!? We all just sit around and stare at each other and go around the stupid table and say there are no updates. Is it because we're not working? NO! It's because we're fricking relying on other things outside of fricking control or because we keep getting interrupted by status meetings like this one! I don't care if your job is to manage a project every five seconds, my job is to get it done! Now LEAVE ME ALONE!

Stop micromanaging my breathing and stop having these pointless good for nothing meetings and let us go back to our fricking desks! ARAAAGHGRHHRGHGHGHGRGGGGRHHHHH!!!!

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Posted by twiz on 08/29/2007:
OMG... Tell me about it. My last job had a PM that would call update meetings DAILY when he felt things were getting behind. Can you imagine how much time and resources were wasted in his daily meetings. Getting 10+ people to stop what they are working on every day and go sit in a room for 30 minutes and talk about the same thing you talked about the day before.. only this time look slightly more disappointed with the results. No more for me!

Posted by Wage Slave on 08/29/2007:
Staff meetings are where productive hours go to die.

Posted by SouthernProgrammer on 08/29/2007:
Recently a co-worker and I were assigned to a project that had the exact type of project manager you mention. My co-worker and I have worked together for 10 years and have always delivered projects on time and have never failed. This PM sent no less than 15 emails per day with suggestions and wanted conference calls every other day (he was in a different country - yes COUNTRY) until finally my co-worker and I decided to see if we could drive him crazy. We ran across this complete list of odd sayings from the show "Pinky and the Brain" and chose two to read out during each conference call. We would also answer his emails in the same manner. IE: Project Manager to my co-worker and I: We should go live in the new week with the new system! My Co-worker would then send a reply email, cc'ing me: SP, are you pondering what I am poindering? I would then reply to both: I think so [co-workers name] but burlap chafes me so! After a few weeks of this, the PM commented to our boss that he truly thought we were unstable (ROFL) and our boss told him we were probably playing with him. He then told the project manager in very clear terms to back off as we were valued employees with a solid history of delivering. I really like my boss!

Posted by dontask 0 on 08/29/2007:
SoPro still ROFL - wiping my eyes. This is so funny.

Posted by dumber than a catbox full of sh*t on 08/29/2007:
Wage Slave--I could not have put it better. You know all those days you got off of school when you were a kid because it was "Teacher Institute" day? Those are the epitome--and I do mean epitome of what you are talking about!

Posted by CK on 08/29/2007:
SP - at least it sounds like you have a good boss!! As to the issue at hand. I have been self-study IT project management. Meetings are necessary to keep up-to-date on the project to make sure that milestones are being met and that there are no issues that may cause delay or over-costs during the project lifetime. I am not trying to defend your PM but he/she may be over-doing the meetings if nothing is being accomplished. The PM should have an agenda printed and passed out to everyone for discussion and review. The project staff should report the status of their project as to timeline and costs. Remember that YOUR tasks may impact another down the line wich could cause cost overruns. I would suggest that to be more productive in your meetings that you have a status of you part of the project, any issues that you have encountered (and resolved), and costs incurred. If there are any issues that have not been resolved the meeting is the place to voice the issue! And if you start doing all this dring the meeting then 1) Makes it look that YOU are productive, 2) Keeps you from being bored out of you skull, and 3) Put you in a better light with the PM which could end up making you a lead.

Posted by sick of it on 08/29/2007:
CK---I appreciate your comments. And I realize you're looking at it from the PM perspective, but honestly she's killing me here. We have these meetings DAILY. There is absolutely no need for it daily. The project isn't high priority to anybody but her. She's a new PM and I think she's trying to show how much she's "working" when really I think she doesn't have much to do so she corrals us in every day. And these are just the dailies. There are additional meetings during the week on top of them! And don't even get me started on the "drop by's" to check status updates. Really she's micromanaging the crap out of me. Oh and I have no desire to be a lead.

Posted by CK on 08/30/2007:
I agree that daily meetings are a waste. Once a week - OK but daily! How much can change in a day?!? It would be different if say you were a General in the heat of battle but I doubt that your PM is a Gerneral! Maybe you caould get your PM a "PM for dummies" book ... LOL!!!

Posted by sick of it on 08/30/2007:
TODAY I started "joking" about the meetings being a good place to practice waiting in line to get into hell. And the PM said that she was sure I was going there. And then I stupidly said "Yeah, I am. Maybe we can share a locker." The room got quiet and she dismissed everyone right after that. I don't know what kind of fallout there will be but guess what??? She canceled tomorrow's meeting calendar invite!! Wish me luck!

Posted by CK on 09/01/2007:
Keep us posted on that little project of your own! LOL!!!

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Can there really be that many assholes in the world? Written by gettinscrewedinabadway on 08/23/2007Omg! I work in a building full of women. Estrogen is everywhere which means there is catty bull crap fights everywhere. I work in the worst department. Anytime there is something bad going on, you can almost bet that someone in my dept is mixed up in it somehow.

Right now, there is a "girl" in my dept that is wanting to take my hours. I am full-time. She is part-time, going through a divorce and needs money. Her and her cronies set me up to try to piss me off so that I would leave and she could take over my job. Now they are giving me the cold shoulder all day to try to finish pushing me out.

I want so bad to confront these losers but every time I say or do something they turn it around on me. I spoke to my boss a little bit today about it and she blamed it on my hormones. That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. My hormones did not make them screw me over to try to get my job.

This place just flat out sucks!
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Posted by dontask 0 on 08/23/2007:
Unfortunately yes, there can be that many A**h*13s in certain professions. You have to decide if this job is worth fighting for before we can give advice or comfort. You may have to grow a thick skin and get used to the sound of silence. I put up with a similar situation for quite some time until a very incompetent and vicious supervisor left.

Posted by CookieHooker on 08/24/2007:
As a woman, I find working with women to be VERY HARD! Men if they don't like you they let you know. Women are very suttle, like you mention "cold shoulder" or "forgetting to tell you about a meeting" they are masters of the subtle abuse. My boss has a gift of giving you a slap in the face with words so well worded if you repeat it, it sounds like a compliment (she is pure evil tho!) She's a master manipulator too. Not all women are like this, but those that are make it so miserable for the rest of us. You just need one to start it and others follow like sheep. Keep your chin up, but weigh your options. Bullied people are smart and strong, thicker skinned than you think! They will stay in a bad situation far longer than they should (average 24 months), but eventually it will take a toll. Keep us posted!

Posted by c0nfused on 08/25/2007:
Wow, and I thought my job was bad! Seriously, though, it does sound really bad. If I were you, I would probably quit tomorrow! But since I am not, you do seem to have tolerated it very well, up til now. How long have you been there? I suggest you update your resume, and go on some job interviews. You know the old adage,"it's easier to get a job while you still have one." I have been thinking of working in an office. But, I tried it 23 years ago, lasted 6 months, and it sounds like things haven't changed much! Also, if I do quit, I have to give up lots of "extras" I have added. My income is not the main breadwinner (thank goodness for that!), but it has helped the family budget.

Posted by gettinscrewedinabadway on 08/27/2007:
things here are not any better. two of the manipulators have banned together to give me the cold shoulder. right now I am just trying to be all business and do my job. that seems to be working pretty well for me. I'm thinkin this all has to do with one of them wanting my office cuz it's bigger. who knows. i could get a job easily cuz of the field that i'm in, but this one works so well for me and my boys. it's only a couple of miles from my home and it's a moday-friday job. if I switch jobs, I would have to work nights and weekends and holidays. I'll just tough it out for a few years for the kids sake.

Posted by Loves2Run on 08/27/2007:
Listen, In my humble opinion, one should not stick it out for the sake of the kids. Not for a bad marriage and certainly not for a bad job. Find something better! You know you can, I know you will. In a few years, you'll have my ulcers. You don't have to leave right away, take your time, find what you want. The other thing I'd like to say, is take their cold shoulder and consider it your personal "down time". Who cares if they don't interact with you? Flock em I say!!! Do your job, go home, take life easy. Don't let the so-andso's win! Rock On

Posted by Freedomringer on 08/28/2007:
I have to comment on this as well, I am in the same situation here. One of the members of the female gang bang here has decided that she for some reason hates me. (Why I don't know, I am not a person one should be envious of!) I think one of the reasons is I have been here the longest and one of the gang members is second in line for that coveted position. (Read: that is insane) However, I have been the lab leper for quite sometime. No one is allowed to talk to me or they get the cold shoulder from the female gang bang. I am a regular topic of their gossip sessions. I love this! I am finally envied! I am so loved, I am hated!!! I come to work and do my job, I do not interact with these women but to say, "Good Morning!" If I change my hair color, the cackling and hen pecking begins. I am changing careers. These women pretty much have won another battle, but I will get my revenge, and I am patient. It may take several years but I will be there when they get theirs. I am going to laugh and sing and rejoice in their misery and do it in front of them. Oh I can not wait! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I feel your pain but these miserable women are just that, miserable, selfish, ugly and petty. My motto is to do unto others as you would have done unto you. Treat them with respect and be gracious, but silently plan your revenge. (just make sure it is legal!)

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Get Fired Already!!! Written by Slave on 08/23/2007So my co-worker comes to me everyday complaining! Complaining that she didn't get the raise she deserves or the job promotion that was given to someone else outside the company.

"Don't they know what I do?! Don't they know who I am! I am freggin Special!!"

Well fill me in! Because I don't know what you do either. Seeing as how every time I see you you're either passing your workload off to me (although you see me buried up to my ears in documents) or shopping online! Not to mention you come in 2 hours late to work everyday, take 2 hour lunch breaks and then just walk around the building aimlessly for another 2 hours. And the only reason you make the required 40 hours a weeks is because you falsify you time cards.

Yet...she's still here....she's still here! How is this possible? when will she be fired so that they can hire someone to do some actual work so that it doesn't all fall on me?! and then she wants a raise? how could you demand raises when you do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! I'm so confused...
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Posted by dumber than a catbox full of sh*t on 08/23/2007:
This will solve itself--do not say to her anything you posted--if you want her to go, you don't want to clue her in. She'll hang herself. Just enjoy the show.

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Sabotaged by a Disgruntled Employee Written by It's Lonely at the Top on 08/20/2007Two months ago I finally got the management job I've been eyeing for more than 10 years. I've worked hard for it. And I feel pretty good about the way I am handling it. But I have a problem, an employee who applied for the job and was rejected. She just resigned, but is making my life miserable by telling everyone how incompetent I am and that she should have had the job. The truth is, she was in a job that does not prepare her for mine, and she does not have the education and training that was required. I was offered her job once, but turned it down because I knew it was a road to nowhere.

I am handling the situation by continuing to work hard, network and build relationships. She'll be out of the picture in a week or so, but no doubt will continue to diss me. She'll be the loser in the end, because we live in a small town and her behavior will reflect badly on her.

Any thoughts?
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Posted by dumber than a catbox full of sh*t on 08/20/2007:
I think your post reflects your answer--she will be out in a week and her behavior will be a reflection...on her. Just because she talks doesn't mean everyone will listen and if they do will believe her--smart people will she it is just a case of sour grapes on her part.