Work Party Stories

These are always entertaining. Enjoy some workplace party tales, or share your own.
Where Would You Hide? By SouthernProgrammer

Lets play a game.

If you wanted to hide from the boss where he/she couldn't find you for as long as possible...where would it be?

I'll lead off!

In the building where headquarters is located, one of the top floors isn't finished (the economy) yet the doors are unlocked and you can get there using stairs.

Not many people know about this.

On that floor is a wiring closet, the wiring closet also has a ladder which you can climb up through a 'fire panel' and then there is a catwalk which leads to the area where AC/Heating is and there is....a small office!

Not much to it, a desk, a chair and an AC outlet

I have often dreamed of being 'John McLane' fighting off terrorists and running down that catwalk...

Where would you hide?

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By kc:

janitor's closet.

By twiz:

Good question! I often would wander the sidewalks and streets around the office... A little "thinking" time... ;-)

By SouthernProgrammer:

I used to play this game with my kids when they were younger. When we would be at the mall I would say "If you were locked in, which store would you like to be locked in at".

Inevitably, the store with the most toys was chosen....

By labtech:

I have to keep on the move, with some papers in my hand or on a clipboard. And I always have to leave something 'unfinished' in plain sight so no boss can look where I'm supposed to be and see all the work done. The only reward for hard work is... More Work !

By SouthernProgrammer:

So you hide in plain site? Clever!
I have also found out that the reward for getting a job down before the deadline is more hard work.

By anonymous:

i also hide in plain sight. it's easy i wear colors that blend with the decor or background. being busy is not enough to save me from extra work being heaped on me, just the opposite. the secret is not to be seen or noticed. not being tall helps when working behind office furniture in a crowded workplace.

By SouthernProgrammer:

> not being tall helps


I have a good natured co-worker who is 4'11" when he stands erect and he often says he is the only one who can walk through our cubicle maze unnoticed by the bosses and thus avoid work....

By anonymous:

on the other hand I bet he has to work at least twice as hard for recognition and promotions. being short is one of the more questionable "gifts" of nature.

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I Can't Believe How This Happened... By SouthernProgrammer

At one of the sites I support they put my name on the companies email system so my customers can easily contact me.

In truth, it is more of an annoyance to me because if I do not login for a while there can be hundreds of emails waiting, mostly spam.

Another problem is that one of the engineers at the company has a similar last name to my own and so I will occasionally get email for this person and will have to forward it.

Last week, an email came through to a group of people praising the group for the work they did on a project that was very profitable for the company. As I read the email I realized it was intended for my doppelganger and not myself.

However, I knew most of the other people on the project as I had worked with them previously and had attended 'after hours' celebrations, etc.

So, feeling frisky, I fired off a reply to everyone thanking them for their participation and that I could not have led the project to its success without their help.

I laid it on really thick! I even mentioned countless sleepless nights working in areas that could not even be measured yet they were crucial to the success.

I then hit send.

In a few moments, my buddy's replied 'tongue in cheek' that they appreciated all the hard work and they hoped I would be recognized for my contributions.

Then, replies started coming in from upper management...THANKING ME for the work I did.

I began sweating...uh..oh...

One of the 'big guys' stated he was going to be sure that the President of the company heard of my work and I would get a plaque!


I quickly printed the email and went head in hand to a local manager who I use as a contact. I showed him the email string and he began laughing. In fact, he began slapping his desk with his hand as he roared with laughter.

He told me he would take care of it and said it would be a great story for the morning meeting.


I plan to be real good from now on!

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By HaveADamnNiceDay:

You stinker! That's hilarious!

By CK:


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party leftover By canny

At my workplace where moral is going downhill fast. New boss try to create special occasions so that people gather and enjoy a little treats here or there. A birthday list is compile. However, the person in charge of birthday list only invite her own group to every party behind closed door, enjoy their cakes, disposed of unwanted cakes to reception, bring out leftover cakes to reception so that rest of people could clean up for them.

don't you think it is rude to exclude people from a gathering?

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By thelma:

Sounds wierd. Was this the boss' intention, to only invite people in that group?

If so, start your own group. At one office I was in, we ordered a birthday cake every month w/o getting a birthday list. Just whoever had a birthday that month stood up to be recognized. The cakes were paid for out of the coffee money.

By the confessor:

Sounds like your boss is approving of clique or mobbing behaviors. At one hotel I worked at, the front desk clique frequently set out cakes and food that were only intended for them.
Anyone asking for a bite was bluntly told that it wasn't for them.
When I pointed out how obnoxious this was to the general manager, he advised me not to "make THEM angry..."
The resort has since been sold, and one by one the bitch clique is being dismantled. Poor things...

By Dumber than a Catbox full of sh*t:

I would have a raucous party at my house and not invite any of the cake hogs.

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Seriously--My Boss is the Best Person I Know and I'm So Lucky!!! By Lucky Working Girl

I went to my Boss' x-mas party Fri. eve. I ended-up getting pretty ripped--when I was going to leave she had her boyfriend drive me home and one of the other guests drove my car.

I called my Boss the next day and apologized. She said, "My daughter was as drunk as you...the only difference is is that she had her husband to drive her home." My Boss also said, "It happens to everybody---don't give it another thought" and the like. She was really kind, gracious and forgiving.I was just too tipsy to drive--I didn't say or do anything really bad.(Although I do think that this is awful and am mortified at myself!)

I had left my phone at her house. To make a long story short, I had to go to her house to get it. She opened the door, I gave her a huge, long hug that she returned and I said again that I was sorry. She said, "Now this is the last time you are going to say that you are sorry." She was so nice to me.

She then proceeded to tell me that she and the other workers--she is the Boss and including me there are 3 people that work for her--wanted to have pizza soon to exchange gifts. The Boss for the past 2 X-mases has had only us over and we exchanged gifts. This X-mas it was a party that included others so we didn't want to exchange presents at her party--we needed a separate setting/celebration. So the Boss asked me to call the Manager to tell her my schedule so we could plan this. The Boss is totally working around me--I have a full-time job and this is my little part-time gig--so we are all having pizza for lunch later this week.

When I left the Boss' house she called across the street to me, "Do you know how late the party went?" I said, "No." She said, "Until 5 a.m. and there was much raucous behavior--I will have to tell you about it..." I jumped up and down and said, "Thank God it wasn't just me!" And she laughed.

I am really lucky:) And I really believe she doesn't hold it against me--she is an artist and really down to Earth.

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By the confessor:

Really treasure this experience. Never take it for granted or assume it will last. I got more respect and had more fun as a 16 year old gas station attendant than as a 26 year old radio programmer...

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Administrators: Some swear like pirates and punish and others just leave early to go home and puke By bigblue

So at the Boss' Retirement Party--he stated to the audience of hundreds--including politicians that he was going to use some graphic language. He used all those words--F---, MF----, etc... when reminiscing about his career experiences.

He said that he was sure that half of the people who attended were, "S.O.B.s that just came to make sure he was leaving."

And one Administrator stayed-out until the wee hours and had to leave work one and a half hours into the workday the next morning due to a super hangover.

Boss had sent out a memo several days before the meeting that was to take place the morning after the party saying the type of meeting had been changed--to one in which he would speak the entire hour. At the party, he told all the employees that they did not have to come in for the meeting. So those who did not attend the meeting did not know, and showed-up for a non-existent meeting. So obviously this punished all who did not attend his party.

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By bigblue:

Sorry, Schmobbers--I meant that those who did not attend the party did not know that he cancelled the meeting so they all showed-up for a meeting that had been cancelled.

By sheila:

Thanks for posting the follow up. This is just so unbelievable. What allows people to get away with this sort of behavior. And you know what? I hate when people swear during a speech. I once went to this yoga class with this really famous yoga instructor and she used the "f" word numerous times. It was a women's only class of about 100 people. I couldn't believe how utterly disrespectful that was. Not to mention discrediting. She lost so many points with me that day.

BTW the meeting thing? Downright cruel.

By bigblue:

My friend called me on the way home from the party and gave me the 'heads-up" and I called one of our mutual friends --I felt badly that I didn't have cell phone numbers of more people and it was 10:30 p.m. so I figured leave e-mails wouldn't help.

By anonymous:

Educational spite.

Sorry, no reflection on your BigBlue.

Truly I've only seen that type of vengefulness by someone with a teaching background. For the most part they were working in another field by then. Hoping fervently that this particular administrator burned all his bridges to smoking cinder.

By bigblue:

And Schmobbers--all who attended paid $45.out of their own pocket to be called an "S.O.B."--even if he was kidding--which I will give him--I wouldn't even want to be called this in a joking manner.

By bigblue:

I did not go but checked all my very reliable sources before I posted--by reliable I mean their--the ones I wrote about--their "right hand Man(men)." And I checked and double-checked. And asked a boatload of questions. And being a teacher of literature asked key questions and listened.

I have more items to post about the party but am in the midst of verifying them and will not post until they are verified--especially because they are political promises given to Guest of Honor.

By bigblue:

Anonymous--no offense taken. I was driving home from work yesterday and heard the tail-end news that teaching is the #1 profession in which gossip and back-stabbing occurs--huge pole that was done. I am not surprised. Scary to think that these are the people who teach everyone's children.

But not all teachers are like this. I won't compromise my ethics/morals/values/integrity personally or professionally. Period. And That is why I'm leaving--to survive in the career one has to ultimately do this--especially in this day and age.

By SouthernProgrammer:

I can almost guarantee this guy is going to show up at your job AFTER he is retired. Why? Because he will find out he has NOTHING to control at home and will come back to fufill his need to control. At that point, you can look him in the eye and say "You don't work here anymore!" He will yell and scream and you can simply say "Go back to the park and feed the pigeons!"

By the confessor:

The "helping professions" like teaching, health care, and social work are also hotbeds of gossip and abuse. The reason for this is that antisocial personality types crave control. The ultimate form of control is by being able to manipulate those that are trying to aid the helpless, diabled or disadvantaged. Watching those who are trying to to do their job helping others twist in the wind while being criticized for everything that goes on, whether wrong or right brings these folks extreme pleasure.

By bigblue:

SP!!! You are so on the money!!! My former Boss trained/mentored my current Boss who is retiring. Guess what? Even 10 years later, my Former Boss shows up a few times per year!!! I'm sure my retiring Boss will do the same. Hopefully, when Retiring Boss re-appears I will be there no longer. Good Call, SP.

By bigblue:

Confessor--I could not have put it better!

By sympathetic reader:

Karma is out there. I went to school with a Racist Social Bully named Tracy. She worked at a Catholic School and a local restaurant. I ended up hanging out with her coworkers. They said she would do ANYTHING and ANYONE for coke and she was really mean.

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Present (gift) and/or present (attendance) for the retiring Boss By bigblue

It's no secret--I don't like the Boss. He is retiring and I have worked with him for a little over 17 years--10 of those years where he has been my Boss.

Because we are gov. employees--every party is paid for by us personally(which in checking JobSchmob stories about Christmas parties this is not uncommon in the Business World either).

So my question--when you have to pay your own way to attend the Boss' Retirement Party--is the gift included in the "fee" for the party? Ours is-Almost $50.--for the party and gift although nothing is broken-down as to what sum is allocated for either--just nearly $50.--No mention of what gift is. Just wondering how things in this situation are where you work.

Thanks Schmobbers. Although I don't like the Boss--he has served decades.

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By twiz:

We do donate for special occasions, like the retirement of someone in our department or something. But NOT $50! That is steep. If it was someone I liked, maybe I would kick in $10 tops. Otherwise just a few bucks. If I were you, I'd come up with alternative plans if you don't want to go to the party... and that means you don't have to pay... right?

By the confessor:

I'm curious...just who is putting on this party. Seems pretty pricey, and I believe it's illegal to coerce such collections.
It could be someone is trying to slyly make him look or feel bad. At one place I worked, a nasty co-worker said she was going put on a baby shower for me in advance of my son's birth. I noted that a couple of these were already in the works for my wife and not to bother. Others noted with humor how put-off she was. That still didn't stop her from saying three weeks later that "no one was interested" in the party.
By making the party a pricey endeavor, they may be striving for the same result.

P.S. I told my insulting co-worker that since she had never been a mother, that I could see why she didn't understand how the process worked...

By avid reader:

If a gift was mentioned in the communication that informed you the fee was $50 I would guess that the gift is included. They should mention the gift though so you know that you are not paying $35 for the meal, $5 for the gift contribution and $10 to line the gift buyers pocket. I would start inquiring!

By bigblue:

yes-the gift is included in the $50.--pricetag--but I don't know how much of the $50.--is for the gift and how much is for the dinner.

I guess I could find out by asking the secretary, Cathy. RSVPs are to be given to the secretary Cathy. I guess she must have something to do with the organization because she is the Boss' secretary and I believe she was involved in the Retirement Party for the Boss that left 10 years ago.

But if I say I want to know how much of the $50 is for the gift--I would feel on the hook to at least contribute that amount.

I really don't want to have anything to do with any of this--this man is so horrible I can't put it into words. But he is so vengeful that I think if I don't go he will do horrible things to make my life hell at work for the few months that he still works there until he is officially retired.

I think that I am going to spend$50.--taking myself out to celebrate his retirement--no more of this a-hole! And that is truly worth celebrating!

By Emmyjune:

Good lord, blue... That's awful. I don't blame you for feeling the way you do! $50 is an AWFUL lot of money! (Well, it is to me) I can't believe they're basically giving you no choice and forcing you to pay such an exorbitant amount. That would really chap my a$$- ESPECIALLY if he was a complete jerk. What if one of you were having a tough time financially and honestly couldn't afford to pay that amount? Do you think the secretary of his is going to report who paid and who didn't?

By bigblue:

Without a doubt--the Boss will know who contributed and who didn't. I would bet my life that the Boss has already instructed his secretary to give him a list.

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Pee party By pradeep

We were having a Christmas party at my company. I excused myself to go pee. What I really did was spit on the cake, all over. And they all ate it.

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By the confessor:

What you did is criminal and cowardly. When one of my cheap employers ruined our company parties, THE ENTIRE STAFF (minus the owners two cheif lackeys) walked out and headed to the bar across the street. The company ended up picking up the tab.
If you hate all of your co-workers that much leave, sunshine...

By avid reader:

I REALLY hope I don't work with you. Not cool.

By pradeep:

Oh like you never pulled work pranks before? Goody-goody gumballs?

By M. in Wisconsin:

What kind of creep are you?

By SouthernProgrammer:

What in the world did anyone do that made you think spitting on the cake was appropriate?

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New Year's Office Fiasco By Johnny Fastlane

Happy New Year Everybody! Johnny Fastlane here to tell you the story I think of every year at this time:

Thinkin' about New Years reminds me of the time a bunch of my coworkers and I snuck off to the supply room to partake in 2 bottles of cheap champagne out of foam cups. It was about 3 PM on New Year's Eve and most people in the office had dissapated and the floor was pretty quiet. The boss was gone for the whole week between Christmas and New Years so we figured there was some fun to be had during this rare "cats away" week. Well about 4 PM, we were still in there when the boss decided to stop by the office supposedly to pick up some papers he left in the office. Well, when he got there, the floor was deserted and he began to get pissed off thinking we had all left for the day without his permission. Then he heard the din of his employees half cocked on cheap champagne having an office supply war in the supply room. Rubberbands, paper clips, post-it's you name it, we were throwing it. As they say, it's all fun and games till...SOMEBODY GETS HURT. And on this occasion that somebody happened to be the bossman! Pissed off, he flung open the door of the supply room to see 8 of his employees all champagned up and whipping supplies at each other. You guessed it, as he opened the door to release holy hell on his staff, a mousepad came whipping through the air like a frisbee and hit him on the side of the face. Needless to say, this just enraged him more. My friends, let me tell you, his rage was met with absolute dead silence. We were all in shock! I personally thought it was a bubbly champagne hallucination but quickly realized I was wrong! He just kept screaming the word "OUT!" over and over as we hung our heads and filed out of the room. What we thought was going to be a great "play day" turned out to be a complete buzz kill. He had us file into a conference room where he lectured us for 2 hours like a dad who lectures his teenage girl the first time he finds out she snuck out of the house. There was a lot of words and phrases used like "can't be trusted", "disappointed", "disgusted", "never in my life", blah blah blah while we're all trying to come down from our champagne. Now, I was about 24 at the time, but between the 8 of us, the average age was about 40 and 2 were older than the boss, so the whole situation was excrutiatingly akward. When we all returned in the new year we were on our best behavior for the next few months till he asked to be transferred out and we finally got a cooler boss who would participate in the fun.

Yeah, we were having fun, but so what, it was New Year's Eve and most of the office was allowed to leave anyway. There was no work to be done, believe me. Anyway, I still get a smirk on my face when I think about it. I firmly believe that you got to have fun at work! Yeah get your work done and then who cares if you release a little stress afterwards, it only makes you appreciate your job more. That's what I SAY ANYWAY!

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By Walk The Planks:

Way to be ;)

By momalie2:

sounds like a lot of fun--too bad he had to be such a scrooge...

By cnubelevit:

Sounds to me like he had a large arthropod inhabiting his colo-rectal area.

By HaveADamnNiceDay:

Yes, a very spiny arthropod.....

By vanilla ginger:

Arthropod firmly lodged up his posterior!

Hopefully you all took the party off site and continued your drinking and cavorting in a more welcoming atmosphere.

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Immature Boss and Co-Worker By caazmoks

My boss is a very immature and insecure individual who is also very lazy. When she felt she had too much work to do and it cut into her social life at work, she convinced her boss she needed to hire an assistant. The assistant began work two months ago and neither one of them now has enough work to keep them busy for more than half a day. However, my workload has doubled now that I have two people giving me assignments. I have requested another secretary be added to the staff, however my request has been denied.

I do as much work as I can each day but do not overextend myself. The most difficult part of working with these two "kids" is remaining in a good mood and not tell them what I really think of them. My inbox (NO exaggeration) is stacked up with work that is 10 inches high! I am approximately 4 weeks behind on my work; but do I get help from the kiddies? NO, of course not.

They spend the majority of their day giggling and visiting with each other or with other people in the building.

If I approach my boss requesting assistance, I usually get the deer-in-the-headlights stare and nothing more.

Fortunately, I will be able to retire in two years, and at this stage of my "work-life", I will stay where I am. Since I began working in an office back in the 60's, I have been witness to the decline of quality managers. There used to be managers who were mature, intelligent, dedicated, respectful and actually worked! Their number one goal was not to screw off all day.

In all fairness, let me also say that it is not just the managers who have lousy work ethics anymore, it is also the majority of employees who spend the majority of their day wasting time. Employees used to believe they were paid to work, now most employees believe they are paid to screw off. Instead of working 8-5, most start the day by visiting with each other or playing on the internet or sending personal e-mails. The actual time dedicated to real work is appoximately 3-4 hours a day.

I will not be sorry to get away from this mess!

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By the confessor:

Clearly you are the odd person out in that workplace. Your co-workers may be partying, having an orgy or whatever, and think it's hilarious that you actually want to do real work.

By SouthernProgrammer:

I agree with confessor, your morals and work ethic's are ones that are NEEDED throughout this country and is an example why some businesses want to hire "seasoned" workers. Years ago, (many MANY years ago) my wife was having a difficult pregnancy with our first born and so I would stop at McDonalds on my way home to pick up my supper. Every time I had a senior citizen take my order, it was done quickly and always correct. If a young kid took my order, there was always a delay while the employee talked to his/her co-workers and invariably there was always a mistake. One day, I did not check my order and came home and it was wrong so I drove back and spoke to the manager and mentioned how his senior employees ALWAYS gave good service and he said he wished he could hire more! He said the seniors were always ON TIME, looked for things to do when it was slow, and he never had an issue with them. On the other hand, the younger employees were un-motivated, would quit without telling him, and wanted to move into management without "paying their dues". The frustration you are feeling with your boss and her confidant are an example of why american workers are slowly losing ground. In my part of the country, Mexican workers are everywhere and (IMO) will be a huge political force in the future. They are motivated, hungry, and WANT to work and are exhibiting the behavior/ethics that this country was FOUNDED on and most people have forgotten. We need to shake the others into reality or soon this country will no longer be relevant...

By c - -:

Compare; work hard in school and get good grades and a certain crowd will call you stupid and try to beat you up after class. / Work hard at your job and the same crowd either takes advantage and credit or drives you out. / Obviously we are doing something wrong and this crowd is uncomfortable with us.

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