After Hours

Can you believe our Government forced the head of a company to step down?

Now, I am not a big fan of GM or Rick Wagner but I do believe it is wrong for the banks to have been handled differently than General Motors.

I imagine this is how the firing took place.

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Scene:  Oval Office at the Whitehouse, President Obama is speaking to the head of AIG (Edward Liddy) and GM President Rick Wagner.

Edward Liddy:  I'm sorry your Lordship, but I have spent all of your money and have nothing to show for it.

President Obama:  And just what did you DO with all of that money?

Edward Liddy:  Well as we discussed, we all took bonuses and then went and bought some other banks.   We also put in some money saving ideas such as not using toilet paper in our restrooms, instead we are using $100 bills!   We also got rid of those costly water coolers and instead we installed Champagne dispensers!    As discussed, the rest of the money went to campaign contributions...democratic of course...

President Obama (Pressing Button on desk): Tim?  Have another truckload of money sent to AIG headquarters!

Edward Liddy (Bows):  Thank you your Lordship!

Rick Wagner:  I bear bad news your Lordship...

President Obama (Sighing): Not again Rich.

Rick Wagner: Uh that's Rick sir...

President Obama:  Whatever, get on with it!

Rick Wagner:  Even though we worked out some concessions with the unions and shut down some plants, we still cannot sell cars because the country is in a recession due to AIG!

President Obama presses a button on his desk, a wall slides up and Donald Trump glides out silently on a chair held by a hydraulic arm...

President Obama:  Donald, would you do the honors?

Donald Trump points at Rick Wanger...

Rick Wagner:  NO!

Donald Trump:  YOU'RE FIRED!

Rick Wagner is carried away by guards...

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It is also interesting to me that our government is now promising to back up car warrantys.  I can imagine how this would work...

Scene:  Car owner pushs Buick to Government authorized repair facility.

GM Technician:   Welcome to the Obama Auto Repair Center!   How can I help you?

Car Owner:  Whew, my engine fell out a few miles down the road and this car is only a year old!  I'm glad it's under warranty (produces warranty)

GM Technician:  I see, hmm, are you sure you need an engine?

Car owner:  What?!?!  How can you say that!?   I want an engine put in my car now!

GM Technician:  No need to be rude sir,.. (Types on a portable laptop)...well!  The only reports of engines falling out from GM cars are from owners who have a Chevy.   So far no reports of engines falling out of Buicks. It must have been something you did!  

Car Owner:  But..but how can you say that?   My car is a Buick and the Chevy model of the same type has had reports of it's engine falling out!

GM Technician:  Yes and if your car was a Chevy we would fix it for free!

Car Owner:  Well how much will it cost me to fix it?

GM Technician:  Thirty thousand!

Car Owner:  Thirty Thousand!?!?   I could buy a new car for that!

GM Technician:  And don't think we wouldn't like that but you should just opt for the repair otherwise you need to pay the 50% sales tax.

Car Owner:  (Sigh) Ok, just repair it.

GM Technician: Ok!  Say would you like to put a Chevy motor in it?  They are the same car you know!

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The Publix I generally frequent for shopping has a new cashier that I have begun avoiding because he "creeps me out."

He is approximately 30 years of age and seems very pleasant but he talks in a lilting sing song voice that makes me nervous because his facial expression never changes!  

IE:

Cashier:  THANK you for shopping PUBLIX toDAY!   Hmmm I see THAT you have some PIZZA dough...are you planning to make some PIZZA tonight....Thazzzzzz nice!   Are you planning to WATCH a moVIE alzo?   I like NET flix for my moVIES.

I am serious when I say this man will look at you with a pasted on grin that never changes!   I have studied him to see if perhaps he has a problem of some sort but I haven't found anything out of the ordinary so I have come to the conclusion that he is a maniac waiting to happen.

I truly expect a future dialog to go like this:

Cashier:  THANK you for shopping PUBLIX toDAY!   Hmmm I see THAT you have a BUTCHER knife!   (Picks up knife, stabs bagger in arm)  YES, the knife is VERY sharp I think it will do well for YOU!   That will be $32.56, have a NICE day.

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Speaking of PUBLIX, the other day I had a wierd thing happen.   I was standing in line holding a basket of items that we always seem to be short on (eggs, milk, bread, etc) when suddenly a woman in business attire with a wild look in her eye came zooming around a corner with a cart full of groceries and skidded and disappeared into another aisle.   Normally I don't pay attention to things like this but the woman was pushing a small 'kiddie kart' that the Publix I frequent has for children.

You've probably seen these, the cart is about half the size of a regular cart andis made of metal and has the stores name on it.

I stepped out of my line to make sure my eyes were not playing tricks on me but sure enough this woman had grabbed a 'kiddie kart' and was pushing it around the store all bent over while shoving items into it and talking on a cell phone.

I began chuckling to myself imagining the conversation:  "Yes YES! I got it!  Boy have I had a rough day!  My feet are killing me with these high heels on and I somehow managed to grow into a giant today!   Yes a giant!  How do I know?  The shopping cart is small!"

I got back in line and suddenly heard a commotion and the woman zoomed into the line beside mine and stood there tapping her foot while standing behind the small cart.  Suddenly she looked around at the other carts and turned beet red and then....walked out of the store leaving her cart!

When she left everyone around the cart began laughing....